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seafoam1

Limerick

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Anyone got any to share? No internet searching allowed. :)

 

Here are a few I remember from some years back:

 

Nympho-maniacal Jill

Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill

They found her vagina

In North Carolina

And bits of her tlts in Brazil

 

There once was a mathematician named Paul

Who had a hexihedronical ball

The cube of his weight

Times his pecker plus eight

Is his phone number give him a call

 

There once was a man from Bellaire

Who was making love to a girl on the stair

On the 33rd stroke

The banister broke

So he finished her off in mid-air

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Mr mcneeny had a 9 ft weenie

Showed it to the lady next door

She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake

Now its only 2 ft 4.

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There once was a lady named dot

Who lived on pigshit and snot

When she couldnt get these

Shed eat the green cheese

That she picked from the sides of her twat

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To get into university

A woman said she was Cherokee

Trump told us she was a fake

And a DNA test she must take

Turns out she's whiter than me

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There once was a man from Nantucket

Whos cack was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin, wiping sperm from his chin

If my ear were a hole I could fock it

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There once was a man from Morocco

Whose motto was really quite macho

He said to be blunt,

"Man was made to eat cÚnt"

Why else would it look like a taco?

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There once was a guy from Peru.

He was laying back in his canoe.

While dreaming of Venus, he played with his pen!s,

And awoke with a handful of goo.

 

There once was a lady from china.

With a hairy dusty vag!na.

An American lad, said cant be that bad,

Now get over here so I can try ya.

 

(I wrote the second one)

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There once was a girl from Belize

Her twat hair hung down to her knees

The crabs in that spot, tied the hair in a knot and constructed a flying trapeze. 😱

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There once was a guy who lived in Philly

He lied about going to Dallas

Pathetic.

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There once was a guy from Colorado

 

Who, when asked what rhymes with stormy or malania said hell if I know.

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There was a girl whose turds had enormous girth.

 

Turns out, she had the most flexible anus.

 

Her turds became quite famous.

 

Til one day, she shat for all she was worth,

 

Only to find her poop was a still birth.

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Ok. I'm stealing this from Dice Clay:

 

Hickory-dickory-dock

Some chick was sucking my c0ck

The clock struck 2

I dropped my goo

And I kicked the bltch down the block

 

And not a limerick but whatever:

 

Jack and Jill

went up a hill

both with a buck and a quarter

Jill came down with two-fifty

Fvckin wh0re

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The Geek club is really quite twisted

The good days we all must have missed it

We compliment MIke

Such a lenient tike

Truth, he simply forgot we existed

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The Geek club is really quite twisted

The good days we all must have missed it

We compliment MIke

Such a lenient tike

Truth, he simply forgot we existed

A+

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I've been to Limerick Ireland a few times. My wonderful aunt and uncle live there. It's 3168 mikes from Fishtown.

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Woof! 🐕

What a puzzy. You took down your one about my wife because you're ascared of Jerryskids.

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Oh, my kid was in that one too. Don't worry, Jerry won't scold you. He's afraid to for some reason.

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More lies.

 

Why is Mag Bastards IP address so close to Recliner Pilot? :dunno:

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More lies.

 

Why is Mag Bastards IP address so close to Recliner Pilot? :dunno:

How would you know? Doh!

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Well, I do provide. I make well over six figures.

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There was a man who's wife was an hourglass

He wanted so badly to go to Dallas

He lied about it instead

And lay in his bed

Not making much bread

Positing here all day instead.

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There once was a caravan from Guatamala

That had the love and support from Obama

On the 6th day

The libs got their way

And now we are stuck praying to allah

 

 

Go out and vote!!

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