Am I wrong/screwed here? (A little long)

[NorthernVike 2,080]

wait you have key to orig lot? why are you asking anyone? just go and squat/stay there whenever you need it. i wouldn't ask anyone sh;t.

This. If your wife's name is on the deed, they can't do shiot.

[nzoner 936]

wait you have key to orig lot? why are you asking anyone? just go and squat/stay there whenever you need it. i wouldn't ask anyone sh;t.

 

 

This. If your wife's name is on the deed, they can't do shiot.

You guys think exactly like I do but once again I've been trying to keep the peace between everyone and the mrs would rather take the high road and not p!ss anyone off.This last incident however for me was the last straw but according to SIL I have no say so.

[porkbutt 861]

 

 

You guys think exactly like I do but once again I've been trying to keep the peace between everyone and the mrs would rather take the high road and not p!ss anyone off.This last incident however for me was the last straw but according to SIL I have no say so.

then i guess the only answer is yes youre screwed. unless punching your wife and or SIL in the face is an option?

[fandandy 3,311]

Getting focked over is not taking the high road. It's getting focked over. I think you are being a good husband though by respecting your wife's wishes instead telling this to suck a bag of dicks.

[Kanil 519]

No SIL by my understanding is saying so far they(two of them)have put $25,000 into the place(new roof,deck,dues,taxes,upkeep) so if it ever sells my wife gets $20,000 back not a dime more and yet has no say so on needing her room.My take then is IT'S NOT AN INVESTMENT it's a one way benefit for them and they need to buy her out now.

 

That's different. Something should be worked out as far as getting only 20k back. That's ridiculous. I'm thinking something along the lines of when it sells, take the 25k (or whatever the total by that time is) off of the sale price, then you get 1/3.

[DankNuggs 305]

 

That's different. Something should be worked out as far as getting only 20k back. That's ridiculous. I'm thinking something along the lines of when it sells, take the 25k (or whatever the total by that time is) off of the sale price, then you get 1/3.

Its probably pocket change in appreciation, worth letting it go to get away from the heathens. Considering NZ didnt get use of the property who cares what they spent on roof and deck work. That was their choice to do upgrades.

 

I stand by my opinion that they work out repayment immediately or you will go forward with forcing a sale to recoup your stranded cash

[vuduchile 1,941]

So the SIL considers the $20K an interest free loan that she only has to pay pack if/when she sells the property?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

And if you and your wife die before them and they haven't sold, they keep the 20k?

[DankNuggs 305]

And if you and your wife die before them and they haven't sold, they keep the 20k?

Its an asset they own and part of their estate. Its deeded it doesnt go away

[wiffleball 4,635]

I've said my piece.

 

Right now, You have given them a zero interest loan with no legal provisions for pay back.

A) could go all tax/legal, but you're not going there.

 

SIL Should have some basic human decency but at least as you tell it, that's not happening either.

 

You been given the options. Knowing this board, everything after this is nothing more than a bicker fest.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

One would think so but BIL parents have all but moved in and can't sleep together so they use two bedrooms and as I told SIL on text they don't have a penny invested in the place.

Then you really own nothing, your sister knows it and is bullying you. You need your money back.

[wiffleball 4,635]

However, giving the minimal cost and available technology, I would wire your place up like a mofo. Cameras, motion sensor, meter readings, and record it all.

[kutulu 1,545]

Cuck

[Kanil 519]

Its probably pocket change in appreciation, worth letting it go to get away from the heathens. Considering NZ didnt get use of the property who cares what they spent on roof and deck work. That was their choice to do upgrades.

 

I stand by my opinion that they work out repayment immediately or you will go forward with forcing a sale to recoup your stranded cash

 

I agree. I'd get out with my 20k right away if at all possible. Just get out of the mess.

[nzoner 936]

Its probably pocket change in appreciation, worth letting it go to get away from the heathens. Considering NZ didnt get use of the property who cares what they spent on roof and deck work. That was their choice to do upgrades.

 

I stand by my opinion that they work out repayment immediately or you will go forward with forcing a sale to recoup your stranded cash

At this point I'd be willing to say fine divide the $25,000 in upgrades,dues,taxes etc give us $11,666.00 keep the 67 cents and kiss my ass.

[nzoner 936]

So the SIL considers the $20K an interest free loan that she only has to pay pack if/when she sells the property?

That's how I'm seeing it,mind you this was a text conversation between her and I,I'm hoping BIL is a little level headed when we meet face to face,I'm just glad i have the conversation in writing.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

At this point I'd be willing to say fine divide the $25,000 in upgrades,dues,taxes etc give us $11,666.00 keep the 67 cents and kiss my ass.

Why do I get the feeling that you are the family's soft touch, always there to give money and a good time. But they don't reciprocate. If this is true, your sister probably feels you don't need or deserve the money back. And you are just being greedy.

[wiffleball 4,635]

At this point I'd be willing to say fine divide the $25,000 in upgrades,dues,taxes etc give us $11,666.00 keep the 67 cents and kiss my ass.

No.

[nzoner 936]

And if you and your wife die before them and they haven't sold, they keep the 20k?

SIL made a comment to me last year that I wanted nothing to do with it in the first place therefore if something happens to my wife it reverts back to them.I kept the peace said nothing more and began looking at Oklahoma law.I love Wiff's idea of the mediation and will be bringing that up as well.

[nzoner 936]

Why do I get the feeling that you are the family's soft touch, always there to give money and a good time. But they don't reciprocate. If this is true, your sister probably feels you don't need or deserve the money back. And you are just being greedy.

This is my mrs as well,we've been fortunate and successful in business and have always been givers but this sh!t IMO has crossed the line and you nailed the last part too.

[Strike 3,956]

Its probably pocket change in appreciation, worth letting it go to get away from the heathens. Considering NZ didnt get use of the property who cares what they spent on roof and deck work. That was their choice to do upgrades.

 

I stand by my opinion that they work out repayment immediately or you will go forward with forcing a sale to recoup your stranded cash

 

This. Personally, if I were you I'd sit down with the wife and find out if she's willing to lose 20k. If she is, I'd tell her I'm not and we need to figure it out. If she's not willing then you're already on the same page and it's just figuring out a game plan, taking emotion out of the equation. This is business. Has nothing to do with family and the other party should have understood that when choosing to go in to business with family. Then I'd draft a letter offering a few options - pay us, arbitration/mediation, or lawyers. At a certain point you just need to stop with the B.S. and deal with the situation. How many years has this been dragging on? You could have had this money invested in something that would actually be making money all this time.

[shotsup 832]

Don't just get the key back for second lot. Change the damn locks ASAP

[nzoner 936]

 

At a certain point you just need to stop with the B.S. and deal with the situation. How many years has this been dragging on? You could have had this money invested in something that would actually be making money all this time.

Yep,it takes me a long time to hit a breaking point(that's on me) but once there as I am now it's going to be dealt with.

[Kanil 519]

I had not realized the only communication on this was via text. I'd talk over the phone or face to face before getting too stressed and talking about bringing lawyers into it.

[nzoner 936]

Don't just get the key back for second lot. Change the damn locks ASAP

Already on my list,mrs is not happy with me but we'll get through it.Deep down she has to see the absurdity in this mess even though she won't voice it in fear of a confrontation.

[nzoner 936]

I had not realized the only communication on this was via text. I'd talk over the phone or face to face before getting too stressed and talking about bringing lawyers into it.

There was face to face a couple of times before but SIL shut me down within seconds and I let it go.This last time was text and she said there will be a meeting on this but only between the three of them because I have no say,thus one of the reasons for this thread,I needed additional input.

[Strike 3,956]

There was face to face a couple of times before but SIL shut me down within seconds and I let it go.This last time was text and she said there will be a meeting on this but only between the three of them because I have no say,thus one of the reasons for this thread,I needed additional input.

 

IOW they don't want you there so they can play off your wife's sympathies and bully her if needed. Nice people you got there.

[nzoner 936]

 

IOW they don't want you there so they can play off your wife's sympathies and bully her if needed. Nice people you got there.

Ding ding

[jerryskids 5,188]

Never ever buy joint property. HTH

 

To pile on: about 15 years ago my good friend approached me about joining an LLC for some real estate development project. I scheduled an appointment with a lawyer to review the document. The first thing he said was, "oh, you don't want to be friends with him anymore?" I got the memo and passed. Never mix business and friends/family.

 

 

IOW they don't want you there so they can play off your wife's sympathies and bully her if needed. Nice people you got there.

 

I see you just agreed with this so I'll say: I presume that legally you do have a say?

[wiffleball 4,635]

 

IOW they don't want you there so they can play off your wife's sympathies and bully her if needed. Nice people you got there.

Yup. Agree 1000.

 

Your Money, your say.

 

Loony move to try and tell you where, what when you can and can't be.

 

She knows she can bulldoze her sister.

 

Wife has to have your back there.

[Strike 3,956]

Wife has to have your back there.

 

This. The shark move for your wife would be to say to her sister: "This is a business transaction. You and I are too close as family so I'm going to let nzoner handle it from here on out. Talk to him. I'm out."

[TimmySmith 2,782]

 

The shark move for your wife would be to say to her sister: "This is a business transaction. You and I are too close as family so I'm going to let nzoner handle it from here on out. Talk to him. I'm out."

The shark move would be to have the Mrs. sign over her 1/3rd to Nzoner. Don't know if it's possible based on the wording of the deed. But if it is.....

[Voltaire 4,556]

nzoner is getting a lot of good advice.

 

Unfortunately, it's all reinforcing his own instincts and he can't pull the trigger on it due to his wife's non-compliance.

 

NZ, you've known all along what to do and the boys don't have any better advice. Different routes to the same place. The mediator may be better/cheaper than overt legal action. If you can't get your wife to see it, you're going to eat that $20K.

[Djgb13 2,338]

This is why Ive shut down friends and family wanting me to go in on them with propertys. Screw that nonsense. Its just a ticking time bomb and Id rather not lose family and friends over things like money

[the s is ilent 69]

Do wife's parents live there or SIL hubbys parents? If it went to mediation it could be considered joint family support for parents.

 

Sounds like somebody's getting a retirement home at the lake.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

I like the whole thing that the in laws can't sleep in the same room so they get two. GTFO.

[nzoner 936]

Thanks one helluva lot guys I don't want to see family division over freakin' money but I'll see where this goes when I'm there in 2 weeks.just hoping I can get the mrs to go along or as Volty said I'm screwed.

 

Just debating now on whether to show the mrs this thread as I've been totally upfront and exaggerated nothing,maybe a group of strangers(to her) is some solid advice she'd consider.

[nzoner 936]

Do wife's parents live there or SIL hubbys parents? If it went to mediation it could be considered joint family support for parents.

 

Sounds like somebody's getting a retirement home at the lake.

it's BIL parents and they don't technically live there full time(they have a house in Kansas as well) but are there a lot of weekends.

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

I like the whole thing that the in laws can't sleep in the same room so they get two. GTFO.

 

Maybe they're trying to force a swap-meet.

[shotsup 832]

I smell a NZ wife alias in the making.