Cloaca du jour 2,064 Posted October 22, 2017 Feel like I use half a roll of toilet paper to clean up. if you miss a spot it starts burning and itching and you have to go back and re wipe 20 minutes later Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bandrus1 413 Posted October 22, 2017 Ask bf to switch to water based lube 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted October 22, 2017 Use a rubber Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EternalShinyAndChrome 2,493 Posted October 22, 2017 Tell bf to not use whole fist. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crackattack 513 Posted October 22, 2017 Newbie, clean up on aisle 2. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted October 23, 2017 Baby wipes. Didnt you read the other thread? They are mandatory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted October 23, 2017 Just sit down when wiping FFS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,297 Posted October 23, 2017 Sadly, this is currently the best thread here Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted October 23, 2017 Just sit down when wiping FFS. I wouldnt even know how to. Reach around back? Front? The bowl is in the way, no leverage or room to operate. I donno, to each their own, I need room and range of motion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted October 23, 2017 I wouldnt even know how to. Reach around back? Front? The bowl is in the way, no leverage or room to operate. I donno, to each their own, I need room and range of motion. If I stood up it'd be like a Rorschach test. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,908 Posted October 23, 2017 We spend a lot of time talking TP etiquette. I'm beginning to wonder about the age of this bored. Me included. Our ass talk is, our own asses, are front and center. Even though our collective asss are behind us. Hmmmmmm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,631 Posted October 23, 2017 I HATE GRASSY KNOLLS. -jfk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cloaca du jour 2,064 Posted October 23, 2017 We are definately aging. I thin the problem is my wrinkled starfish collects feces in the grooves. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,631 Posted October 23, 2017 The key here is to mix in a tablespoon full of Metamucil directly into your ensure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted October 23, 2017 We are definately aging. I thin the problem is my wrinkled starfish collects feces in the grooves. You should get yourself a Newbie. He'll have that leather cheerio squeaky clean. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cloaca du jour 2,064 Posted October 23, 2017 Not all my stools are greasy mudballs. it was friday at work... took a dump at work and they have some if that 1 ply 3000foot roll see-through tp that is so smooth you could ice skate on it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,631 Posted October 23, 2017 I'm so glad you brought this up. Because there's one of many things I really don't understand. You know, we all know that feeling when we need to wipe our butts. The bunghole gets a little itchy no? But, if I drink a big glass of milk and I've got say a milk mustache around my lips? My mouth doesn't get itchy. I mean, it's roughly the same tissue right? Your mouth is basically just a face bunghole. So why does your a******* itch but not your mouth? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,631 Posted October 23, 2017 It is with this in mind that I've always wanted to create extra large Q-tips. You know, imagine cotton ball the size of Say a Pearl onion on either end of a drumstick. That way, you can really get in there and clean around the edges and whatnot. I think they do quite well quite honestly. Could probably be used vaginally too. Not on your mom, but on women with normal sized Va JJ's. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,908 Posted October 23, 2017 I'm so glad you brought this up. Because there's one of many things I really don't understand. You know, we all know that feeling when we need to wipe our butts. The bunghole gets a little itchy no? But, if I drink a big glass of milk and I've got say a milk mustache around my lips? My mouth doesn't get itchy. I mean, it's roughly the same tissue right? Your mouth is basically just a face bunghole. So why does your a******* itch but not your mouth? You're doing it right. That's why. Phag. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted October 23, 2017 I'm so glad you brought this up. Because there's one of many things I really don't understand. You know, we all know that feeling when we need to wipe our butts. The bunghole gets a little itchy no? But, if I drink a big glass of milk and I've got say a milk mustache around my lips? My mouth doesn't get itchy. I mean, it's roughly the same tissue right? Your mouth is basically just a face bunghole. So why does your a******* itch but not your mouth? Smear some shiot around your lips for a few days and let us know if your mouf starts to itch and get back to us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DankNuggs 305 Posted October 23, 2017 They made those fat free chips, Doritos and whatnot with Olestra... package warned greasy loose stools... could really mess with your stomach... also that story on the sugar free hariboo gummy candies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
