Kids...phones...social media...threats...parent responsibility

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I know for a fact that they can reconditioned phones to only dial say, nine-one-one and other things. Seems to me, there has to be phones out there where you can limit it to how many calls you can make and to whom. Just strip down, bare bones. That seems to be a better solution.

 

Or, you could teach your kid how to use technology responsibly instead of trying to hide them in the 1950's. Kids have access to computers and smart phones. Part of our job as parents is to prepare them for life in a world where technology is at the forefront. You are better off teaching them lessons instead of shielding them from things.

[edjr 5,547]

 

Or, you could teach your kid how to use technology responsibly instead of trying to hide them in the 1950's. Kids have access to computers and smart phones. Part of our job as parents is to prepare them for life in a world where technology is at the forefront. You are better off teaching them lessons instead of shielding them from things.

 

[wiffleball 4,631]

A phone has nothing to do with calling, they never use it for that. It's all about the apps.

That's what I'm saying. Just give them stripped down for school.

[jerryskids 5,172]

 

How did she like spending the weekend with GFIAFP?

 

I understand that this is an attempt at humor, but I don't get it so...

[porkbutt 860]

this sh;t depresses me. kid's have no youth any more.

 

and focking parents act like little poosays. you pay for the phone? you have control over it!!!! period. i see these parents act like there's nothing they can do and kids do whatever they want. not under my roof. turn 18 and go get a focking job and pay for your own phone...then you can do what you want.

[Sho Nuff 719]

 

Or, you could teach your kid how to use technology responsibly instead of trying to hide them in the 1950's. Kids have access to computers and smart phones. Part of our job as parents is to prepare them for life in a world where technology is at the forefront. You are better off teaching them lessons instead of shielding them from things.

Exactly...

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

this sh;t depresses me. kid's have no youth any more.

 

and focking parents act like little poosays. you pay for the phone? you have control over it!!!! period. i see these parents act like there's nothing they can do and kids do whatever they want. not under my roof. turn 18 and go get a focking job and pay for your own phone...then you can do what you want.

 

 

Absolutely. We have control over their phone. Use an app like Life360 that tracks all sorts of things. If my sons don't want the app on their phone, then I take the phone.

 

I will even go one step further. My youngest thought he was smart by buying his own Xbox 360. He thinks that I can't take it away from him because he purchased it. That is when I explain that the house that it is sitting in, the TV that it is connected to, the WiFi it is connected to and the power to run it are all mine. If you want to be allowed to use those things, then you do it my way. There is also a big double standard because I can do whatever the F I want to do in my house.

[Sho Nuff 719]

this sh;t depresses me. kid's have no youth any more.

 

and focking parents act like little poosays. you pay for the phone? you have control over it!!!! period. i see these parents act like there's nothing they can do and kids do whatever they want. not under my roof. turn 18 and go get a focking job and pay for your own phone...then you can do what you want.

Our son knows its not his phone...its ours and he borrows it from us. He wants an app...one of us has to approve it (through iPhone family sharing)...it doesnt stay in his room at night. I see the thing lighting up with notifications late after he is asleep as I know some of his friends stay up texting and whatever.

He knows we check it (and we have the iPad logged on to the same accounts...so his texts and everything show up on it as well and I can monitor it). If we ask for the phone...he hands it over immediately. No having time to delete things first.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,594]

Our son knows its not his phone...its ours and he borrows it from us. He wants an app...one of us has to approve it (through iPhone family sharing)...it doesnt stay in his room at night. I see the thing lighting up with notifications late after he is asleep as I know some of his friends stay up texting and whatever.

He knows we check it (and we have the iPad logged on to the same accounts...so his texts and everything show up on it as well and I can monitor it). If we ask for the phone...he hands it over immediately. No having time to delete things first.

How do you watch porn if everything is connected?

[TimmySmith 2,782]

So much big talk in here. Kids are smarter than us when it comes to this stuff. WAY smarter. They grew up on it. You can take the phone away completely, that's about it. Otherwise you are at the mercy of the least policed kid your child knows.

[porkbutt 860]

So much big talk in here. Kids are smarter than us when it comes to this stuff. WAY smarter. They grew up on it. You can take the phone away completely, that's about it. Otherwise you are at the mercy of the least policed kid your child knows.

no they aren't. then i take it away completely. my son had a phone for a about a month...messed up...gone. now i give him a flip phone with no data if he really needs it. daughter has one now and i check her constantly....one mistake and it's gone. she's way more mature though and gets it. they give me crap about "stalking" them, etc. don't give a sh;t. im not their buddy. i don't care about their coolness if they don't have phone. youre right about the mercy of least policed kid...and there's a sh;t ton of them. but i run the show in my house.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

no they aren't. then i take it away completely. my son had a phone for a about a month...messed up...gone. now i give him a flip phone with no data if he really needs it. daughter has one now and i check her constantly....one mistake and it's gone. she's way more mature though and gets it. they give me crap about "stalking" them, etc. don't give a sh;t. im not their buddy. i don't care about their coolness if they don't have phone. youre right about the mercy of least policed kid...and there's a sh;t ton of them. but i run the show in my house.

Pretty sure this post proved my point.

[Sho Nuff 719]

How do you watch porn if everything is connected?

 

On my phone? I don't.

However...my browser isn't connected to his.

I think my wife's is the same though...so if he searches for something it shows up in her search history.

As far as family sharing...its mostly with the apps...nothing downloads automatically to anyone's phone. But when he tries to download an app...it sends my wife and I a message and we must approve and either use fingerprint ID or a password for it to approve for him.

[Sho Nuff 719]

So much big talk in here. Kids are smarter than us when it comes to this stuff. WAY smarter. They grew up on it. You can take the phone away completely, that's about it. Otherwise you are at the mercy of the least policed kid your child knows.

 

Sure...they can get around stuff here and there. There is no throwing a bubble around them and protecting them from everything.

I wasn't always at my friends house when I said I was either when I was younger.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

 

Sure...they can get around stuff here and there. There is no throwing a bubble around them and protecting them from everything.

I wasn't always at my friends house when I said I was either when I was younger.

100%. Your kids are going to access stuff and you will never know about it. Period. I agree with policing and open dialogue. Just know what the reality is.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

100%. Your kids are going to access stuff and you will never know about it. Period. I agree with policing and open dialogue. Just know what the reality is.

 

I limit certain things, but you can't stop everything. I probably could if I wanted to, but I don't want my kids thinking that I spy on them at all times and that they can't come to us (probably more my wife) if there is a gray area.

 

I am also in fear that, if I try to limit their p0rn access, it may somehow limit mine.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

 

I limit certain things, but you can't stop everything. I probably could if I wanted to, but I don't want my kids thinking that I spy on them at all times and that they can't come to us (probably more my wife) if there is a gray area.

 

I am also in fear that, if I try to limit their p0rn access, it may somehow limit mine.

My son is at the age where he needs porn more than I do.

[Strike 3,950]

 

Or, you could teach your kid how to use technology responsibly instead of trying to hide them in the 1950's. Kids have access to computers and smart phones. Part of our job as parents is to prepare them for life in a world where technology is at the forefront. You are better off teaching them lessons instead of shielding them from things.

 

A lot of technology professionals disagree with you:

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/silicon-valley-parents-raising-their-kids-tech-free-red-flag-2018-2

[Strike 3,950]

My son is at the age where he needs porn more than I do.

 

Then you're not a very good wingdad.

[edjr 5,547]

 

I understand that this is an attempt at humor, but I don't get it so...

 

Spending a weekend locked up with GFIAFP will set any teenager straight

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

 

A lot of technology professionals disagree with you:

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/silicon-valley-parents-raising-their-kids-tech-free-red-flag-2018-2

No, they don't. They limit access, which I agree with. You don't ban it, though.

 

BTW - IT is my industry and I know what other parents in my industry do.

[Voltaire 4,554]

My kids are too young for pron plus the Chinese government will helps out with that. They do fight for the phone, the oldest bullies the other two. Causes big problems. Then they all b*tch and point fingers when we take it away from all of them.

[IGotWorms 3,302]

So much big talk in here. Kids are smarter than us when it comes to this stuff. WAY smarter. They grew up on it. You can take the phone away completely, that's about it. Otherwise you are at the mercy of the least policed kid your child knows.

This guy knows what he is talking about.

 

I grew up when the internet was just becoming a mainstream thing. There were controls parents could put on your old-ass Macintosh or PC but they were laughable. Every kid knew way more about them, could spot them, and could get around them instantly. Hell you shouldve been worried if your kid couldnt figure it out.

 

Im sure it is exactly the same thing today with smart phones, social media etc. Its all second nature to these kids because they grew up with it. We didnt. No matter how tech savvy you consider yourself you are not in the same realm.

 

So yeah, youre fooling yourself if you think bring mr hardass with passwords, spyware or whatever is sufficient to address the issue.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Yea it’s pretty funny imagining how the out of touch parents think taking away devices or cutting off internet

/ phone service is stopping their kid from accessing whatever he wants. Backup devices are cheap, you can DL apps that give free calls and texts, there are ways around everything. Much better off embracing tech with your kid and talking about issues or concerns with him. He’s going to do what he wants, you can accept it or have him lie to you about it and do it anyway.

[supermike80 1,285]

Another thing to add to the list of achievements for all geek club members. Perfect children.

[porkbutt 860]

Yea it’s pretty funny imagining how the out of touch parents think taking away devices or cutting off internet

/ phone service is stopping their kid from accessing whatever he wants. Backup devices are cheap, you can DL apps that give free calls and texts, there are ways around everything. Much better off embracing tech with your kid and talking about issues or concerns with him. He’s going to do what he wants, you can accept it or have him lie to you about it and do it anyway.

youre a grade A moron. so i can't take away my 11yo 's phone? and he can just go out and get a back up? and buy phone service? he's just going to do what he wants? :lol: you're the type of parent that's the focking problem.

[tanatastic 2,061]

youre a grade A moron. so i can't take away my 11yo 's phone? and he can just go out and get a back up? and buy phone service? he's just going to do what he wants? :lol: you're the type of parent that's the focking problem.

My post was more aimed at teenagers, obviously. Yes do whatever you want with your 11yr old. Why the fock would an 11yr old need a cell phone anyway? Want to talk about a problem parent...

[TimmySmith 2,782]

youre a grade A moron. so i can't take away my 11yo 's phone? and he can just go out and get a back up? and buy phone service? he's just going to do what he wants? :lol: you're the type of parent that's the focking problem.

He doesn't need to buy anything, his friends have old phones, they are everywhere. He only needs internet access. For all I know he doesn't even need that. He can probably hack his way into cell service.

[porkbutt 860]

My post was more aimed at teenagers, obviously. Yes do whatever you want with your 11yr old. Why the fock would an 11yr old need a cell phone anyway? Want to talk about a problem parent...

ok 13...or 14

[porkbutt 860]

He doesn't need to buy anything, his friends have old phones, they are everywhere. He only needs internet access. For all I know he doesn't even need that. He can probably hack his way into cell service.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Another thing to add to the list of achievements for all geek club members. Perfect children.

 

I can assure you that you don't want to take my advice. I have a 16 year old who is a decent kid and works hard, but his grades are not that great and he spends a lot of time in his room behind closed doors. My youngest is a 14-year old entitled a-hole.

[tanatastic 2,061]

ok 13...or 14

A 14yr old kid with a sharp brain should run circles around any curmudgeon dad thinking he is cracking down. That’s damn near a high schooler. He’s got backup devices stashed, multiple free vpns hiding his activity, free text apps with multiple aliases, the works.

[MDC 5,877]

My kids are going to look at porn anyway so I let them watch my wife and I fock.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

 

I have a 16 year old who is a decent kid and works hard, but his grades are not that great and he spends a lot of time in his room behind closed doors.

Sounds exactly like my son, who is 17 in 2 days and thinks nothing of 5 hours in front of his phone. Whenever I think he is different than the rest I just look around. All his schoolwork is done on IPad, so when I take the phone he is on that. It's an ongoing struggle, but perhaps most the struggle is me trying to understand what is happening with today's kids.

[IGotWorms 3,302]

youre a grade A moron. so i can't take away my 11yo 's phone? and he can just go out and get a back up? and buy phone service? he's just going to do what he wants? :lol: you're the type of parent that's the focking problem.

You arent grasping what people are saying here, porkbutt.

 

Its not that were all sissy snowflakes afraid of disciplining our children. Get out of that ridiculously simplistic worldview.

 

Its that your methods wont be that effective. Were trying to educate you. Maybe listen for once?

[naomi 343]

Kids are too lazy to fight nowadays.. talking with the principal, all he deals with is social media crap. He hasnt suspended anyone for a fight in two years lol.

 

The HS I work at has a diverse ethnic and socioeconomic population (mix of neighborhood kids and kids from further out for special programs).

 

There's definitely still fights, almost fully among the lower socioeconomic kids. A couple years ago Arab students were really going at it and there were some Sunni/Shiite beefs (seriously). Somehow that got a lot better.

 

A lot of tension does fester and reach critical mass through social media exchanges.

 

Fights seem to come in waves, some weeks there will be three - five fairly serious ones. LE needs to come out sporadically, and students are arrested now and then. Some weeks it's fairly quiet, tensions being investigated, problem students being dealt with, lots of sit downs, but mostly nothing blowing up.

 

Dealing with the ambitious kids who have tensions with each other is much more protracted. I guess you could say a feminine style of tension. Probably won't ever come to physical blows but there's lots of annoying drama for the surrogate parent school staff to deal with.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Sounds exactly like my son, who is 17 in 2 days and thinks nothing of 5 hours in front of his phone. Whenever I think he is different than the rest I just look around. All his schoolwork is done on IPad, so when I take the phone he is on that. It's an ongoing struggle, but perhaps most the struggle is me trying to understand what is happening with today's kids.

I have 5yr old niece and nephew and have no clue what teens are going to be like in 10 years. Something completely off the wall maybe.

[Cloaca du jour 2,064]

7th grader had his school issued chromebook taken away for pornography. Now mind you these are locked down to prevent this. So to get around the google blocks he translated the porn terms into a foreign language and cut n pasted into his search bar.

 

Kids are way too smart.

 

As Jeff Goldblum said in the Original Jurrassic Park

 

 

Porn cant be contained... porn finds a way.

[porkbutt 860]

A 14yr old kid with a sharp brain should run circles around any curmudgeon dad thinking he is cracking down. That’s damn near a high schooler. He’s got backup devices stashed, multiple free vpns hiding his activity, free text apps with multiple aliases, the works.

backup devices stashed? where's he getting cell and internet service?

[porkbutt 860]

You arent grasping what people are saying here, porkbutt.

 

Its not that were all sissy snowflakes afraid of disciplining our children.

sounds like it.