My son was kicked in the face

[vuduchile 1,941]

My youngest son is in K.

 

I got a call from his Spanish teacher last week. (not at 7:55 pm) He proceeds to tell me that my son got hit in the eye by another student while they were in the halls between classes. I asked if he was OK, and he said yeah, we put some ice on it, and he's fine. I said OK, thanks for the call.

 

Apparently, my son dropped a ticket on the ground. (The school gives tickets as awards for doing something well.) So, this kid name Robbie stepped on it. He bent down to get it, but Robbie wouldn't lift his foot, so my son lifted his foot for him and picked up his ticket. Robbie didn't like that so he kicked my son in the eye.

 

I guess the teacher saw the whole thing and immediately grabbed Robbie and took him to the Principal's office.

 

I asked my son what he thought about the whole thing and what he thought he should do when he sees Robbie next.

 

His reply was, "I wanna punch him, but I'll get in trouble and be sent to the Principal's office if I do." He then proceeded to cry.

 

I told him I didn't care if he got sent to the office for defending himself, but he was insistent that he'd be in trouble with his teacher if he hit Robbie back. So I explained to him that if anyone ever hits, pushes or kicks him, he should tell the kid to stop it one time. If the kid doesn't stop after that, then he's allowed to hit back to defend himself. This is the same thing I've taught him since he was old enough to understand.

 

The problem is that what I've taught goes against what he's being taught in school. I believe my son needs to know it's OK to defend himself. I also believe telling an adult is the wrong move in most cases, because he'll just be called a wuss if he does this when gets older.

 

In this particular scenario, my son wasn't given time to respond in any way since the teacher grabbed Robbie right away. But, I believe he would've just told the teacher since that's what they've taught him.

 

This isn't a bully vs. my son situation. My son has no problem defending himself against his older brother or his friends outside of school. But, he's really conflicted about hitting another kid while at school because he wants to follow their rules and stay out of trouble.

 

While I understand this is the stance schools have to take, it doesn't help kids prepare for real life scenarios. I also agree that differences should be resolved without violence if possible, but when it comes to self-defense, those guidelines don't apply.

 

Two questions.

 

1. How do you teach your kids to deal with this sort of thing?

 

2. Do you agree that any kid whose name is "Robbie" should be subjected to daily taunts and routine wedgies because he has such a fagg0ty name?

[NorthernVike 2,080]

I've always told my boys that they have thre right to defend themselves. If they get in trouble for it, I'll deal with the teacher.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Oh, and why the fock are they teaching spanish in K ?

[Herbivore 905]

Does your son have a more faggy name? If so, Robbie might be justified here.

[Baker Boy 1,485]

Oh, and why the fock are they teaching spanish in K ?

Because eventually we will all be speaking Spanish.

[jerryskids 5,199]

I've always told my boys that they have thre right to defend themselves. If they get in trouble for it, I'll deal with the teacher.

This. Teach them to not start fights, but to end fights. Deal with the school later.

[tubby_mcgee 686]

This. Teach them to not start fights, but to end fights. Deal with the school later.

 

Yup.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

Sorry, it just came to mind.

 

[JT 137]

This. Teach them to not start fights, but to end fights. Deal with the school later.

 

[vuduchile 1,941]

Does your son have a more faggy name? If so, Robbie might be justified here.

Nope. His name is Max Power. I got it off a hair dryer.

[wiffleball 4,640]

I d teach him not to put his face in front of somebody else's shoe.

 

 

did you also teach him to block someones knee with his crotch?

[Frank M 181]

My youngest son is in K.

 

I got a call from his Spanish teacher last week. (not at 7:55 pm) He proceeds to tell me that my son got hit in the eye by another student while they were in the halls between classes. I asked if he was OK, and he said yeah, we put some ice on it, and he's fine. I said OK, thanks for the call.

 

Apparently, my son dropped a ticket on the ground. (The school gives tickets as awards for doing something well.) So, this kid name Robbie stepped on it. He bent down to get it, but Robbie wouldn't lift his foot, so my son lifted his foot for him and picked up his ticket. Robbie didn't like that so he kicked my son in the eye.

 

I guess the teacher saw the whole thing and immediately grabbed Robbie and took him to the Principal's office.

 

I asked my son what he thought about the whole thing and what he thought he should do when he sees Robbie next.

 

His reply was, "I wanna punch him, but I'll get in trouble and be sent to the Principal's office if I do." He then proceeded to cry.

 

I told him I didn't care if he got sent to the office for defending himself, but he was insistent that he'd be in trouble with his teacher if he hit Robbie back. So I explained to him that if anyone ever hits, pushes or kicks him, he should tell the kid to stop it one time. If the kid doesn't stop after that, then he's allowed to hit back to defend himself. This is the same thing I've taught him since he was old enough to understand.

 

The problem is that what I've taught goes against what he's being taught in school. I believe my son needs to know it's OK to defend himself. I also believe telling an adult is the wrong move in most cases, because he'll just be called a wuss if he does this when gets older.

 

In this particular scenario, my son wasn't given time to respond in any way since the teacher grabbed Robbie right away. But, I believe he would've just told the teacher since that's what they've taught him.

 

This isn't a bully vs. my son situation. My son has no problem defending himself against his older brother or his friends outside of school. But, he's really conflicted about hitting another kid while at school because he wants to follow their rules and stay out of trouble.

 

While I understand this is the stance schools have to take, it doesn't help kids prepare for real life scenarios. I also agree that differences should be resolved without violence if possible, but when it comes to self-defense, those guidelines don't apply.

 

Two questions.

 

1. How do you teach your kids to deal with this sort of thing?

 

2. Do you agree that any kid whose name is "Robbie" should be subjected to daily taunts and routine wedgies because he has such a fagg0ty name?

 

Did you encourage him to get even? Becuase while I'm completely on board with defending himself, he's just going to get himself in trouble by going back after the fact and exacting some retribution. In that case, the conflict he's having is good.

[Herbivore 905]

Nope. His name is Max Power. I got it off a hair dryer.

 

With a name like that he should be entitled to punch Robbie unprovoked at will. When my son was 7, I told him he could punch someone to defend himself. A kid in school had punched him, he didn't hit him back, teacher right there. His mom, teachers, principal were telling him to not hit back and go to a teacher if it happens again.

[TD Ryan2 314]

this is one area where my wife and I have different opinions.

 

Mrs TD: if someone hits you, tell them to stop and tell the teacher

 

Me: if someone hits you, you hammer him back, right in the jaw or nose - you make sure he's down, afraid, or hurt, and/or under your control. Then, you tell someone.

 

There is no gray area here for me.

And it is understood that I expect my children to be kind, caring, and respectful of others. Don't ever start trouble. Don't ever hit someone first.

[edjr 5,564]

Teach them to not start fights, but to offer a bj instead. Deal with the school later.

[HenryHill9323 65]

Have your kid cut Robbie's head off and say it was just school place violence. Next kid will think twice.

[vuduchile 1,941]

 

Did you encourage him to get even? Becuase while I'm completely on board with defending himself, he's just going to get himself in trouble by going back after the fact and exacting some retribution. In that case, the conflict he's having is good.

Nope. When he calmed down, I explained to him that he's allowed to defend himself and that he won't be in trouble with me if he follows the process of telling the kid to stop once, then doing whatever is necessary to make him stop.

 

I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea to tell Robbie that he owes him an apology and he said yes. Robbie wasn't at school Monday or Tuesday, so I don't know if my son will remember to speak to him today.

 

My concern is that he'll continue to observe the school's rules at the expense of his own self-defense.

 

Also, this is Robbie's second time through K. I guess he flunked out last year.

[vuduchile 1,941]

 

With a name like that he should be entitled to punch Robbie unprovoked at will. When my son was 7, I told him he could punch someone to defend himself. A kid in school had punched him, he didn't hit him back, teacher right there. His mom, teachers, principal were telling him to not hit back and go to a teacher if it happens again.

Did he ever do it?

[vuduchile 1,941]

this is one area where my wife and I have different opinions.

 

Mrs TD: if someone hits you, tell them to stop and tell the teacher

 

Me: if someone hits you, you hammer him back, right in the jaw or nose - you make sure he's down, afraid, or hurt, and/or under your control. Then, you tell someone.

 

There is no gray area here for me.

And it is understood that I expect my children to be kind, caring, and respectful of others. Don't ever start trouble. Don't ever hit someone first.

Yeah. That's the other issue looming in our house now. My wife says she doesn't want my boys going around hitting people, and I agree. But, I feel it's my job to teach them to stand up for themselves. I don't think a lot of women understand this.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,914]

I've always told my boys that they have thre right to defend themselves. If they get in trouble for it, I'll deal with the teacher.

 

 

This. My daughter was getting bullied by three b!tches earlier in the year. I told her to stand up for herself and I had her back. Once they knew she wasn't backing down, that went on to the next target. She hasn't had a problem since.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

You are doing the right thing. He has to stand up for himself. If he does it right, he won't have to do it often.

 

There was one kinda nerdy kids in my school. He for picked on a lot. One day, he had enough. He didn't go into psycho beast mode, more of a stone cold killer mode. Just methodically beat the piss out of some kid.

 

He never got focked with again.

[Frank M 181]

Your kid should do this to the other kid:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR9i3aXDg3k

[tanatastic 2,061]

Mask up and track down this robbie and give him the beating of his life. Tell him to never touch your son again or you will kill him and his mother.

[posty 2,296]

Do you know if Robbie had a good follow through?

[porkbutt 861]

Your kid should do this to the other kid:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR9i3aXDg3k

fockin awesome

[edjr 5,564]

Ree, Ree, kick him in the knee.

Rass, Rass, kick him in the other knee.

[mobb_deep 917]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIJZb-vC0VY

[drobeski 3,061]

Do what mdc's parents did, send him to school as a girl.

[Herbivore 905]

Did he ever do it?

 

No, never had to.

[edjr 5,564]

Do what mdc's parents did, send him to school as a girl.

 

[jerryskids 5,199]

Do what mdc's parents did, send him to school as a girl.

[HenryHill9323 65]

Do what mdc's parents did, send him to school as a girl.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Do you know if Robbie had a good follow through?

No way. My son didn't even have a mark.

[wiffleball 4,640]

little robbies last name wasnt Bironas

Was it?

 

 

 

 

it would explain a lot

[IGotWorms 3,312]

Defending himself = yes

 

Exacting revenge = no

[KSB2424 3,083]

this is one area where my wife and I have different opinions.

 

Mrs TD: if someone hits you, tell them to stop and tell the teacher

 

Me: if someone hits you, you hammer him back, right in the jaw or nose - you make sure he's down, afraid, or hurt, and/or under your control. Then, you tell someone.

 

There is no gray area here for me.

And it is understood that I expect my children to be kind, caring, and respectful of others. Don't ever start trouble. Don't ever hit someone first.

 

This is funny as me and my brother had a similar conversation not long ago. He has a 7 y/o boy and I a 5 and 2 y/o. Our thoughts / experiences were similar to yours with the wives but unlike you we did come to a "gray area" conclusion of how to handle this situation if it came up.

 

1. Tell the other kid to stop. If they don't.....

2. Tell the teacher. If it still continues again...

3. Punch them square in the nose, water their eyes, hammer'em back.

 

I guess we came to the conclusion that we didn't want our boys getting in fights if preventable, and by either using their words first, then the teachers/school second was the better option. But if it happened again, after doing option 1 and 2, you have to defend yourself. And as my Dad told me. "Punch em square in the nose son, It'll water their eyes and it hurts like hell."

[wiffleball 4,640]

sounds like your boy has to get used to taking a load in the face

[naomi 343]

Telling a teacher rather than standing up for yourself in the moment seems like inviting more trouble. I wouldn't advocate automatically getting physical with the kid as an immediate follow-up to the kick to the face (in this situation), but I think it's important to at least look the doer in the eye with the clear message of back the fock up or you'll regret messing with me/I dare you to do that again. I was once in the situation where I was angry enough to give a kid (a boy) that look because even if I got hurt in the process of attempting to hurt him it would have been worth it (in the haze of anger). He didn't mess with me again. It doesn't technically matter if you're weaker, you just have to BE pissed off. And it's important to be, sometimes. The other person doesn't know what you have, and intimidation is the fun aspect of it for them.

 

It seems like putting a target on your back to tell the teacher, and not the safest way to play it either, unless there's the expectation of going seamlessly from one setting where adults are present to another. I was slow to anger (shrugged this kid off 100% over more than a year, until he ripped something important out of my hands and had no incentive to give it back unless I gave him one. He was trying to figure out what I couldn't shrug off). Once you know someone is interpreting forbearance as "walk all over me" and they're predatory enough to do that, you have to show them they're getting it wrong.

[The Moz 69]

I told my son that if he was being picked on -- wait until the area was REALLY crowed -- walk up to the kid and punch him in the mouth as A. everyone will see it and other bully's will think twice as well B. it's crowed so it will get broken up quick C. what ever trou ble you get in THEN will be worth it.

 

I also told him NEVER rat as ratting out someone picking on you on makes the person picking on you the :hero" to the other kids ... but if the kid is bigger than you -- by all means hit him but make sure it's in public to get the full effect.

[Cloaca du jour 2,064]

Rofl, the most dysfunctional childish people giving parenting advice. Lol