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Ever get harassed by geese while playing golf?


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#1 Djgb13

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 05:51 PM

Maybe his revenge is a LITTLE stop far...

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#2 bandrus1

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 06:08 PM

What a man

#3 rholio

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 06:48 PM

Every time I play golf, so no, never.
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#4 drobeski

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 06:58 PM

Going with the it's fake and he's an ass hole combo

#5 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 07:38 PM

Was playing a few years ago at a local muni. Every summer the course was filled with Canadian geese that would fly down here for the summer. Hundreds of them all along the course. They spent most of their days on the greens surrounded by water. The course greens keeper did nothing to shooo them away. There was geese sh!t on most of the greens. Cheap muni so you got what you pay for.

So one day I'm having a really bad round. Was walking with a pull cart in 98 degrees heat with high humidity. No cart girl. Beers are hot. Tee up on the 16th green. Was playing with these two black guys I hooked with on 9. As I'm about to go into my pre-shot routine, and one of the brothers yell "duck!!!!". I turn around and there's a Canadian goose that took flight from the water coming straight for my head.

I ducked as Jerome said. Fawking goose grazed my forehead, bounced of, and flew away. One of his feathers was in my hair. Had I not ducked, I would be going through concussion protocol.

Those brothers were laughing their ass off. Me: Should have yelled goose!!!

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#6 NorthernVike

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 07:44 PM

Was playing a few years ago at a local muni. Every summer the course was filled with Canadian geese that would fly down here for the summer. Hundreds of them all along the course. They spent most of their days on the greens surrounded by water. The course greens keeper did nothing to shooo them away. There was geese sh!t on most of the greens. Cheap muni so you got what you pay for.

So one day I'm having a really bad round. Was walking with a pull cart in 98 degrees heat with high humidity. No cart girl. Beers are hot. Tee up on the 16th green. Was playing with these two black guys I hooked with on 9. As I'm about to go into my pre-shot routine, and one of the brothers yell "duck!!!!". I turn around and there's a Canadian goose that took flight from the water coming straight for my head.

I ducked as Jerome said. Fawking goose grazed my forehead, bounced of, and flew away. One of his feathers was in my hair. Had I not ducked, I would be going through concussion protocol.

Those brothers were laughing their ass off. Me: Should have yelled goose!!!



Pssssst I think you mean winter.

Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#7 Djgb13

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 07:49 PM

Going with the it's fake and he's an ass hole combo


Actually it's real and police are looking for the Guy apparently

#8 wiffleball

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 07:55 PM

We had this guy named Christos who kept chasing me around with Souvlaki and stealing our balls when we drove.

Damn Greeks.
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#9 bandrus1

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 08:27 PM

Actually it's real and police are looking for the Guy apparently


Good,hope they are able to get him on some kind of federal migratory bird charge

#10 wiffleball

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 08:33 PM

We had a reflective building right next to a lake in Ohio. That led to us having a goose who declared war on his own reflection. That led to many damn near violent Goose attacks in the parking lot and the front door.

Stupid f****** creatures. And mean as hell. I don't understand why there's a law protecting those f******. I think you should be allowed to take a baseball bat to their heads anytime you want. Even if you just let the law lapse for one year those f****** would finally learn some fear of humans.

Geese are basically the equivalent of black lives matter protesters. Sure you're a lot smarter than they are, but God damn it's just not worth the trouble. But all loud and aggressive and s***. It's easier just to walk away from the bastards.

Quack Lives Matter.
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#11 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 08:39 PM

Pssssst I think you mean winter.


I'm as backward as they come. 😄

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#12 mighty_thor

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 08:56 PM

i Hate those focken Canadian geese. Dumb motherfockers too. I live in the Chicago area. Youd figure those dumb mother fockers would fly south for the winter. No, instead they camp out in my driveway all winter because it gets a lot of sun and is the first area in my neighborhood that melts after it snows. My driveway used to fill up with massive amounts of goose poo. Id have to drive through that shiit and track it into my garage. Or else try and spray it off with the garden hose but the hose would be frozen or Id create a sheet of ice on the driveway. I bought a couple of plastic owls and continuously chased them off with a hockey stick but that one winter they were persistently there in my driveway. Luckily it was just a one year thing. They must have found someone else to terrorize the following winter.

#13 SUXBNME

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 09:23 PM



i Hate those focken Canadian geese. Dumb motherfockers too. I live in the Chicago area. Youd figure those dumb mother fockers would fly south for the winter. No, instead they camp out in my driveway all winter because it gets a lot of sun and is the first area in my neighborhood that melts after it snows. My driveway used to fill up with massive amounts of goose poo. Id have to drive through that shiit and track it into my garage. Or else try and spray it off with the garden hose but the hose would be frozen or Id create a sheet of ice on the driveway. I bought a couple of plastic owls and continuously chased them off with a hockey stick but that one winter they were persistently there in my driveway. Luckily it was just a one year thing. They must have found someone else to terrorize the following winter.

On the bolded, there is no such thing. 

 

On the rest, funny as hell  :thumbsup:


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#14 DankNuggs

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Posted 11 October 2017 - 10:33 PM

Played golf with a guy who flipped a cart chasing a pack of Canadian geese, took a sharp turn going down a hill

Actually one took a skulled driver to the head this spring, didnt turn out well

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#15 Mookz

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 12:20 AM

We had a reflective building right next to a lake in Ohio. That led to us having a goose who declared war on his own reflection. That led to many damn near violent Goose attacks in the parking lot and the front door.

Stupid f****** creatures. And mean as hell. I don't understand why there's a law protecting those f******. I think you should be allowed to take a baseball bat to their heads anytime you want. Even if you just let the law lapse for one year those f****** would finally learn some fear of humans.

Geese are basically the equivalent of black lives matter protesters. Sure you're a lot smarter than they are, but God damn it's just not worth the trouble. But all loud and aggressive and s***. It's easier just to walk away from the bastards.

Quack Lives Matter.


Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I heard a couple of them call me honky. 😒

#16 wiffleball

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 04:35 AM

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I heard a couple of them call me honky. 😒


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#17 kilroy69

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 05:41 AM

Not by geese. But certainly by Sand Hill cranes. Fockers look like brown storks and they love golf courses. When they have babies they get aggressive.
Its still not a hummingbird.

#18 edjr

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 05:56 AM

That's like asking if you hit a ball in the woods while golfing.


posty


#19 dain11279

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 06:46 AM

Geese are mean mother fockers, especially if their babies are around. I'm not getting anywhere near them unless I have a golf club in my hand first.


This thread is gayer than my dad.


#20 Mungwater

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 07:24 AM

https://youtu.be/wZcP9ZpWJes

#21 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:34 AM

That's like asking if you hit a ball in the woods while golfing.


https://youtu.be/A0kdBDwNddc

:lol:

#22 edjr

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:38 AM

 

 

awesome. 

 

 

here it is if people don't want to go to youtube

 


posty


#23 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:44 AM

awesome. 
 
 
here it is if people don't want to go to youtube
 


Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

#24 parrot

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:50 AM

Years ago we had a flock of crows that would hang out on the outskirts of my home course and would snatch balls off the green.  Unbeknownst to the golfers the crows would fly them into a nearby farmer's field and drop them over a rock pile, evidently thinking they were eggs.  It was like an episode of X-Files when that farmer found 100 golf balls in a corner of his field one day. 


Idiots doing idiot things because they're idiots.  

 

 

 

 

 

 


#25 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:50 AM

Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

 

Besides intelligence?


Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

#26 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:52 AM

Besides intelligence?


Congrats on one more useless post from you.

#27 edjr

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:52 AM

Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

 

I never post from a phone or tablet. I am sure it has something to do with that.

 

The link you get on those is a different link because it's a mobile site


posty


#28 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:53 AM

I never post from a phone or tablet. I am sure it has something to do with that.
 
The link you get on those is a different link because it's a mobile site


Yeah, that's what I figured. Thanks.

#29 KSB2424

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 09:02 AM

Dear MensaMind,

You might actually be funny and interesting if you didnt try so hard to impress everyone and flame with people in political threads. Maybe lighten up a bit, and stick around.

Yours truly,

The Bored
Disclaimer: I have no focking idea what I'm talking about.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

#30 frank

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 09:06 AM

Years ago we had a flock of crows that would hang out on the outskirts of my home course and would snatch balls off the green.  Unbeknownst to the golfers the crows would fly them into a nearby farmer's field and drop them over a rock pile, evidently thinking they were eggs.  It was like an episode of X-Files when that farmer found 100 golf balls in a corner of his field one day. 


1. Murder of crows
2. Acting as if they were eggs does not equal thinking they were eggs.

Another Dumb fvcking post by frank. :wave:

 

 

 

 

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#31 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 12:49 PM

Dear MensaMind,
You might actually be funny and interesting if you didnt try so hard to impress everyone and flame with people in political threads. Maybe lighten up a bit, and stick around.
Yours truly,
The Bored


I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?

#32 KSB2424

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 01:14 PM

I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?


Ill show you mine if you show me yours. :wub:
Disclaimer: I have no focking idea what I'm talking about.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

#33 edjr

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 01:17 PM

I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?

 

Don't take it the wrong way.

 

KSB was giving you some constructive criticism. No malice meant.


posty


#34 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 01:32 PM

Don't take it the wrong way.
 
KSB was giving you some constructive criticism. No malice meant.


I don't need it, and I don't find it constructive. I'm not going to change posting the way I post. If someone wants to try to argue that I'm wrong about something, they should try.

If they don't care about something that I DO care about, then they should stay out of the way. I have very strong views, and I didn't arrive at them cavalierly.

#35 KSB2424

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 01:45 PM

I have very strong views.

1. Whilst wiping after a poo. Sitting or standing?
2. Justin Timberlake. Talented or ghey?
3. Is a cheeseburger a sandwich?
4. Kate Upton. Uber hot or fat?
5. Toilet Paper, over or under?
6. IPAs. Delicious or overrated?
Disclaimer: I have no focking idea what I'm talking about.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

#36 IMMensaMind

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 02:18 PM

1. Whilst wiping after a poo. Sitting or standing?


I've already answered that.

2. Justin Timberlake. Talented or ghey?


This guy has done everything right. Uber talented - and a good golfer.

3. Is a cheeseburger a sandwich?


Nope. It's its own category.

4. Kate Upton. Uber hot or fat?


Hot.

5. Toilet Paper, over or under?


Over.

6. IPAs. Delicious or overrated?


Awesome.

#37 Cruzer

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 08:16 AM

Yes - I have.

 

 

Outside of armadillos, geese are the biggest pain in the ass, destructive fockers out there. :mad:



#38 parrot

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 08:26 AM

1. Murder of crows
2. Acting as if they were eggs does not equal thinking they were eggs.

 

1. True. Dang it.  It's not everyday you get a legit reason to use "murder of crows".  

2. Fock off, I said "evidently".   :mad:


Idiots doing idiot things because they're idiots.  

 

 

 

 

 

 


#39 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 08:36 AM

Which is worse, geese or Weinstein?


Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

#40 vuduchile

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 08:57 AM

Which is worse, geese or Weinstein?


Well. I've watched a goose shower and I didn't puke, or come.