VikesNation

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When we were insolent, we were placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. Happy Father's Day.

The greatest high is the one I get every time I see a new Rusty Syringes post.

I think you hit the bank with that cast. Whatever you can reason in your head to make yourself feel better after losing 2 of 3 to a horrible team.

Enjoy the game yesterday? It takes a special team to give up 17 runs to the Royals.

I'd like to thank my mom for all the things she taught me about life. Especially that potty training thing. I can't tell you how many times that has come in handy.

So I guess gutterslut will be applying then?

There's a pretty awesome story about a statue and port-a-potty also. Tell me that's not intriguing stuff right there.

I think she may have fatfingered it.

cough*spandex*cough

One of these days, the forklift will break down. Then how will you get your wife to the buffet, dave?

Keep going I can't get enough

Who would be jealous of a lame alias with 24 posts?

Post a link to one of today's news stories and how you feel about it. I need to know your opinion on everything that's going on in current events.

Oooh, good one. 2.9 SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2

2.7 You Got Served Steal!