Wife wants to get a tattoo

[Gladiators 1,900]

Yeah see the flower I just don't get. Doesn't say anything about you, doesn't make a statement. It's nothing.

 

The heart with kids initials your initials whatever. Does she love your kids more because she got this tattoo? Does anyone not know she loves the kids?

I just don't understand the appeal

Agreed.

[jerryskids 5,149]

Certainly not everyone is, but it is a generalization I make. I also think they are trashy on women.

 

Not every woman with a tattoo is trashy. Not every person with a tattoo is weak-minded. However, I havent heard a good reason to get or have a tattoo. If you just like them, thats cool. Im just not on board with that as a valid reason for my wife to get one.

 

I have a brand on my left bicep from when I was 16 or 17. I was immature at the time. No way I would do it today.

My good friend had a son who committed suicide; he had his son's name tattooed on his ankle.

 

Not sure I'd do it but I can't argue that.

[Gladiators 1,900]

My good friend had a son who committed suicide; he had his son's name tattooed on his ankle.

 

Not sure I'd do it but I can't argue that.

Do you know why he got the tattoo?

[Kanil 519]

The not telling me about it would piss me off. Both I and my wife have tattoos though so I obviously don't care whether people have them or not.

[jerryskids 5,149]

Do you know why he got the tattoo?

No, it all happened before I knew him and I never thought it was my place to ask him. I couldn't imagine what goes thru your head if your child kills himself tho.

 

Parent dying, not so tragic in most cases.

[Thornton Melon 542]

Yeah see the flower I just don't get. Doesn't say anything about you, doesn't make a statement. It's nothing.

 

The heart with kids initials your initials whatever. Does she love your kids more because she got this tattoo? Does anyone not know she loves the kids?

I just don't understand the appeal

 

No, she loves me more, because my initial is the biggest.

[fandandy 3,311]

Have her get FAT in really small letters and when she can stand in front of the mirror and read it, time to lose some weight their chunkaroo.

 

Totally opposed personally. My ex-wife got some, more than one, after we divorced. I think they are tacky and definitely don't age well.

[posty 2,295]

I found out that my wife is planning to go get a tattoo. She didn't mention anything to me...was just going to go get it.

 

I am not a fan. Have plenty of friends with tattoos, but not cool with it on my wife. She knows that I don't like them.

 

How would you guys handle it?

 

I know this sounds extreme, but if we didn't have kids and she just went and got the tattoo, I would seriously consider telling her to GTFO.

I would tell her that you do not like tattoos and ask if she could wait 2-3 months and then think about it again... Maybe she would change her mind... During that time, think up of some other things, like the necklace...

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

My gf has 4 small tattoos and I like them. She wants to get more and I think it's sexy, so long as it doesn't take up too much of her body.

 

I would have a major problem if my gf got a tattoo and didn't say anything, and of course this is your wife. I don't remember which one you are. Wife's in laws moved in? Problems with your wife? I would take this as a sign of some problems with the marriage.

[vuduchile 1,940]

 

 

Some people will cry foul over this. I think there is merit to it. It doesn't apply to everyone. But, it has merit.

 

In college, we had this saying about chicks. "If they smoke, they fock". So true.

Of course its true.

 

In Mrs Gladiators case, it sounds like rebellion against her husband dressed up to look like a memento of her dad.

 

She must already know he doesnt like tattoos. That being the case, shes saying fock you, Ill do what I want.

 

Next step is a sexy new wardrobe.

 

All very predictable.

[Gladiators 1,900]

I would tell her that you do not like tattoos and ask if she could wait 2-3 months and then think about it again... Maybe she would change her mind... During that time, think up of some other things, like the necklace...

 

This is the approach I took. Also said that I think it would be a good idea for us to work through the communication barrier. She agreed.

 

She's been very emotional after her dad passed away, which is obviously understandable.

 

 

I would have a major problem if my gf got a tattoo and didn't say anything, and of course this is your wife. I don't remember which one you are. Wife's in laws moved in? Problems with your wife? I would take this as a sign of some problems with the marriage.

 

That's someone else.

[kutulu 1,541]

You should get one that says "cuck"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Meh.. as long as it isn't a neck, face, hand tat, not a big deal...

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

 

I kind of want to go to this place and get one. A friend of mine did it.

[listen2me 23 1,529]

You guys are old.

 

Im not a fan them exactly, have none, no desire to get any. A bunch are a turn off.

 

But 1 little tattoo is a huge deal?

 

The odd thing is she didnt even care to mention it. But then again maybe she knew you were a prude and would blow up.

[Gladiators 1,900]

You guys are old.

 

Im not a fan them exactly, have none, no desire to get any. A bunch are a turn off.

 

But 1 little tattoo is a huge deal?

 

The odd thing is she didnt even care to mention it. But then again maybe she knew you were a prude and would blow up.

How old are you? Are you married? Do you have kids? Where are you in your career?

[DuckStupid 40]

Id want to know about it. Heck, id Probably say go for it. But at least tell me.

[listen2me 23 1,529]

How old are you? Are you married? Do you have kids? Where are you in your career?

Ill be 30 in a month. No wife no kids.

 

Im just saying seems like a generational thing. Im not a huge fan of them or anything. But most good looking girls under 30 have a tiny one or 2. There is a way to do them that isnt trashy. I dont see a reason to get any but 1 little one you probably wont even notice.

[Big Blue 06 195]

You guys are old.

 

Im not a fan them exactly, have none, no desire to get any. A bunch are a turn off.

 

But 1 little tattoo is a huge deal?

 

The odd thing is she didnt even care to mention it. But then again maybe she knew you were a prude and would blow up.

This. I seem to be one of the few that think the OP kind of came off as a d1ck in his original post. Id be probably a litttle annoyed if she didnt mention it first, but she doesnt have to. If not for the kid, Ill consider leaving is a little out there.

[listen2me 23 1,529]

How old are you? Are you married? Do you have kids? Where are you in your career?

Ill be 30 in a month. No wife no kids.

 

Im just saying seems like a generational thing. Im not a huge fan of them or anything. But most good looking girls under 30 have a tiny one or 2. There is a way to do them that isnt trashy. I dont see a reason to get any but 1 little one you probably wont even notice.

[Gladiators 1,900]

Ill be 30 in a month. No wife no kids.

 

Im just saying seems like a generational thing. Im not a huge fan of them or anything. But most good looking girls under 30 have a tiny one or 2. There is a way to do them that isnt trashy. I dont see a reason to get any but 1 little one you probably wont even notice.

 

It goes quite a bit deeper than a simple, "she wants to get a tattoo." I'll spare you the long and boring details, as I really don't think you'd care and likely wouldn't understand until you've been married. Having kids and a career certainly throws some additional wrinkles into it.

 

I do enjoy reading the responses. Don't care if you agree or vehemently disagree.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 2,480]

I'm a big fan of tattoos on hot chicks and milfs.

 

Also, tattoos say "minimal effort required to get me in the sack".

[jerryskids 5,149]

 

It goes quite a bit deeper than a simple, "she wants to get a tattoo." I'll spare you the long and boring details, as I really don't think you'd care and likely wouldn't understand until you've been married. Having kids and a career certainly throws some additional wrinkles into it.

 

I do enjoy reading the responses. Don't care if you agree or vehemently disagree.

I'm on an airplane, please give us other married folks the long and boring details.

 

[Gladiators 1,900]

I'm on an airplane, please give us other married folks the long and boring details.

 

 

Damnit. I'm tired, but I'll give it my best go.

 

This situation has exposed a huge issue for my wife and I. We never really learned how to communicate and effectively deal with difficult situations. We have also changed, as individuals, over the years.

 

When we first started seeing each other, I found out she smoked. Not a lot, but maybe a pack a week. I told her that I wasn't going to tell her to quit, but that I have no interest dating someone who smokes. She quit.

 

Before we got married and eventually had kids, we spent a lot of time together, had a ton of fun and didn't disagree on much. The only big issue that came up when we were younger is that I'd go to the strip club for a bachelor party once a year (on average). At the time, I didn't really give a shitt if it bothered her. I figured, most guys go, and she'll get over it. It was the wrong attitude, but at that time I was immature and really didn't care. I figured if it's that big of a deal for her, we'll figure out if it's a deal breaker before we get married and/or have kids.

 

Fast forward 7+ years and we have 2 boys (4 and 7). I have changed quite a bit. My family means everything to me and I spend almost every minute outside of work with them. I am also in a great spot career-wise. I think my wife is a bit of a reflection on me at work events. Not that it's a huge deal, but it does play a small factor with the tattoo thing.

 

That said, my wife has known how I feel about tattoos from very early on in our relationship. She had no interest in them. So when I found out that she scheduled an appointment to go get one without even talking to me, it raised a lot of questions. Why wouldn't she talk to me about it? Does she think it's not a big deal, or does she simply not care how I'd feel about it? If she planned to do something behind my back like this, how do I know there aren't, or won't in the future, be other things?

 

We attempted to have a discussion about it. She immediately resorted to when I went to the strip club when we were younger and how that made her feel. I completely understand that today. I apologized for going and making her feel that way, but she had no interest in having a conversation about the tattoo. It was as if she had made up her mind and really didn't care what I had to say. There was no discussion.

 

This situation has brought to light the fact that we never really learned how to communicate and deal with difficult situations like this. When we were younger, we were on the same page with pretty much everything. We have also changed over the years, so we need to learn how to deal with those changes. I hope that she holds off on the tattoo until she has had more time to deal with the death of her dad.

 

We're working through these issues and it's kind of exciting. It's almost like I get to know my wife all over again and on a much deeper level, which is fun.

 

You asked for it...

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

 

Damnit. I'm tired, but I'll give it my best go.

 

This situation has exposed a huge issue for my wife and I. We never really learned how to communicate and effectively deal with difficult situations. We have also changed, as individuals, over the years.

 

When we first started seeing each other, I found out she smoked. Not a lot, but maybe a pack a week. I told her that I wasn't going to tell her to quit, but that I have no interest dating someone who smokes. She quit.

 

Before we got married and eventually had kids, we spent a lot of time together, had a ton of fun and didn't disagree on much. The only big issue that came up when we were younger is that I'd go to the strip club for a bachelor party once a year (on average). At the time, I didn't really give a shitt if it bothered her. I figured, most guys go, and she'll get over it. It was the wrong attitude, but at that time I was immature and really didn't care. I figured if it's that big of a deal for her, we'll figure out if it's a deal breaker before we get married and/or have kids.

 

Fast forward 7+ years and we have 2 boys (4 and 7). I have changed quite a bit. My family means everything to me and I spend almost every minute outside of work with them. I am also in a great spot career-wise. I think my wife is a bit of a reflection on me at work events. Not that it's a huge deal, but it does play a small factor with the tattoo thing.

 

That said, my wife has known how I feel about tattoos from very early on in our relationship. She had no interest in them. So when I found out that she scheduled an appointment to go get one without even talking to me, it raised a lot of questions. Why wouldn't she talk to me about it? Does she think it's not a big deal, or does she simply not care how I'd feel about it? If she planned to do something behind my back like this, how do I know there aren't, or won't in the future, be other things?

 

We attempted to have a discussion about it. She immediately resorted to when I went to the strip club when we were younger and how that made her feel. I completely understand that today. I apologized for going and making her feel that way, but she had no interest in having a conversation about the tattoo. It was as if she had made up her mind and really didn't care what I had to say. There was no discussion.

 

This situation has brought to light the fact that we never really learned how to communicate and deal with difficult situations like this. When we were younger, we were on the same page with pretty much everything. We have also changed over the years, so we need to learn how to deal with those changes. I hope that she holds off on the tattoo until she has had more time to deal with the death of her dad.

 

We're working through these issues and it's kind of exciting. It's almost like I get to know my wife all over again and on a much deeper level, which is fun.

 

You asked for it...

 

Would it be fair to say she thinks you're controlling? (Im not saying you are, I'm saying I suspect she may say so)

 

Seems like she was going with a "better to ask forgiveness than permission" approach.

 

Also, rachel did the same thing on friends. So blame that.

 

I would agree completely that the tattoo should be able to be hidden.

[Gladiators 1,900]

 

Would it be fair to say she thinks you're controlling? (Im not saying you are, I'm saying I suspect she may say so)

 

Seems like she was going with a "better to ask forgiveness than permission" approach.

 

Also, rachel did the same thing on friends. So blame that.

 

I would agree completely that the tattoo should be able to be hidden.

 

Perhaps. It could also be that she genuinely thinks I may not have cared about the tattoo. Not quite sure yet.

 

ETA

 

She probably would say that I am controlling. I have always set goals and had a vision for accomplishing them. She's always kind of gone with the flow. So the spot we're in today is mostly of my making. I consulted with her about all major purchases and career changes, but I don't really ask her what her visions are. I have asked, but she says she doesn't really have any.

 

With respect to day-to-day stuff, I don't think so. She will have purple or pink strands put in her hair at times. She changes her hairstyle more than I change my underwear. I'm pretty much indifferent on that stuff, since it's not permanent. When she asked about getting a boob job, it didn't take much arm-twisting. I'm not a huge fan of how much she spends on clothes, but I know she enjoys it so I don't say anything.

[MDC 5,874]

 

Perhaps. It could also be that she genuinely thinks I may not have cared about the tattoo. Not quite sure yet.

Your issues dont sound that large. I think your compromise here is that the tat is not visible when normally (not swimwear) clothed. She agreed to not smoke, you agreed to not do strip clubs. You guys sound mature and willing to meet in the middle. Id let this one go.

[jerryskids 5,149]

Does she work or is she home with the kids?

 

It sorta seems like the tattoo is a cry for attention/ relevance.

[listen2me 23 1,529]

Im not understanding how a to some posters a little tatoo is a cry for attention or prerec to becoming a /shop herself around.

 

It's a tattoo of her dead fathers signature. Unless it is going in size 72 font across her upper chest then I dont really see the look at me aspect of it.

[vuduchile 1,940]

To summarize:

 

She resents all the sweat pants lap dances you had early in your relationship and wants payback.

 

Now shes gonna get her revenge by getting a little ink and a little strange d!ck

 

Not necessarily in that order

[jerryskids 5,149]

Im not understanding how a to some posters a little tatoo is a cry for attention or prerec to becoming a ######/shop herself around.

 

It's a tattoo of her dead fathers signature. Unless it is going in size 72 font across her upper chest then I dont really see the look at me aspect of it.

You aren't married, don't have kids, and with all due respect I have socks older than you.

[wiffleball 4,629]

Maybe she's trying to lose weight?

 

It's a proven fact that people who get tattoos tend to lose a lot of weight.

 

Just look at all those photos from Auschwitz.

 

Thigh gap city!

[bandrus1 413]

Im not understanding how a to some posters a little tatoo is a cry for attention or prerec to becoming a ######/shop herself around.

 

It's a tattoo of her dead fathers signature. Unless it is going in size 72 font across her upper chest then I dont really see the look at me aspect of it.

Exactly... OP has made this out to be more than it is. Now it has opened up a whole other can of worms.

 

In reality her father who we have to assume she had an affinity for recently died and she wanted something special FOR HERSELF to help remember him by and this is what she chose to help herself get past it.

 

None of your business folks are going to look down on you or think less of you because your wife has a small tattoo. This isn't 1950

[Big Blue 06 195]

You aren't married, don't have kids, and with all due respect I have socks older than you.

That sounded slightly condescending. Im approaching 40, married 13 years, 2nd kid on the way, and I agree with him completely. If you say you have socks older than me, I think it might be time to spring for some new socks.

[wiffleball 4,629]

13 years and number 2 is on the way? Wtf?

 

Does the wife let you dip your Nethers every Haley's Comet?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,552]

Not all chicks with tattoos are sluts. But most of them are.

[Gladiators 1,900]

Maybe she's trying to lose weight?

 

It's a proven fact that people who get tattoos tend to lose a lot of weight.

 

Just look at all those photos from Auschwitz.

 

Thigh gap city!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[NorthernVike 2,079]

You aren't married, don't have kids, and with all due respect I have socks older than you.

[Super Cubs 132]

Not a fan of tats, but have gone out with several ladies that have them. I found for the most part after awhile i did not notice them. Unless I was looking for them. For what your wife wants do the key is location. Boob tats are the worse.

[jerryskids 5,149]

That sounded slightly condescending. Im approaching 40, married 13 years, 2nd kid on the way, and I agree with him completely. If you say you have socks older than me, I think it might be time to spring for some new socks.

 

Sorry, I was drinking.

 

Years ago shortly after getting married, my wife made some drapes for our dining room. One night she said that she hated them and wanted to take them down. I told her she was nuts and they looked great. We argued some until finally she blurted out what was really bothering her. I said "oh, I thought we were arguing about the drapes." That diffused the situation and we talked about the real issue bothering her.

 

We aren't arguing about the drapes (tattoo) here. The issue isn't the size or location or that it isn't 1950 anymore or if tattoos are attractive. The issue is the lack of communication and her willingness to get one without discussing with him. Perhaps it is as simple as she always kinda wanted one even though Gladiators hates them, and sees this as a viable excuse. But still, neither my wife nor I would do something like get a tattoo without discussing it first.