Important hygiene question

[SUXBNME 1,328]

When wiping your ass after a poop do you wipe while sitting down on the throne, or do you stand up to wipe?

 

I never thought there was anyway to do it other than sitting down, but according to a poster here that shall remain nameless, bunnybasturds

I was called a neanderthal for wiping in the sitting position.

Is this a regional thing or summfin?

 

Also, Naomi and peenie need not reply in this thread.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I wipe sitting down. Easier access that way I feel. Generally perform my morning constitutional pre shower, wipe, then shower. Get that squeaky clean.

 

Honestly, the bidet needs to make its way to America. It's a wonderful thing.

[SUXBNME 1,328]

I wipe sitting down. Easier access that way I feel. Generally perform my morning constitutional pre shower, wipe, then shower. Get that ###### squeaky clean.

 

Honestly, the bidet needs to make its way to America. It's a wonderful thing.

But have you ever heard of someone standing up to wipe?

It was news to me tonight

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

But have you ever heard of someone standing up to wipe?

It was news to me tonight

Yeah. I know my brother and I had this conversation when we were kids. Each thought the other was focking nuts.

 

And of course, women have to, so as not to scrape poo into their vag.

[SUXBNME 1,328]

Yeah. I know my brother and I had this conversation when we were kids. Each thought the other was focking nuts.

 

And of course, women have to, so as not to scrape poo into their vag.

It just doesn't make any sense to me...When you're sitting, your cheeks are spread apart more so you can wipe better, right?

Meh...bunnybastards The unamed poster here is just an idiot.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

It just doesn't make any sense to me...When you're sitting, your cheeks are spread apart more so you can wipe better, right?

Meh...bunnybastards is just an idiot.

That's always been my thinking on the matter. The wiping I mean, not the bunny part.

[Cdub100 3,380]

I tried to sit down and wipe but my hand kept hitting the water.

[KSB2424 3,083]

I do a hybrid lean/squat/hover method. It's taken years to perfect.

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

I just have Newbie swing by.

[MDC 5,890]

When you stand up don't your butt cheeks close and squash the poop residue into your crack?

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

When you stand up don't your butt cheeks close and squash the poop residue into your crack?

Prolly looks like a Rorschack test.

 

Sometimes it's like wiping peanut butter out of a shag carpet and you end using a whole roll of terlet paper.

[MDC 5,890]

Prolly looks like a Rorschack test.

 

Sometimes it's like wiping peanut butter out of a shag carpet and you end using a whole roll of terlet paper.

Rorshack test

[edjr 5,563]

I tried to sit down and wipe but my hand kept hitting the water.

 

I can't sit, my cack hits the water

[cyclone24 1,814]

My God have I been s******* wrong all my life?

[jerryskids 5,199]

My God have I been s******* wrong all my life?

 

Possibly. I was a stander as a yoof, until I got to college and had an exchange that went something like this:

[Me: stands to wipe.]

[Friend walks in and sees my legs under the pooper door.]

Friend: "What are you doing in there, whacking off?"

Me: "No, wiping dummy."

Friend: "You aren't supposed to stand, stoopid."

[similar argument as Bunny and Sux ensues.]

 

Anyway, I tried sitting and found it is indeed superior, providing a much better cheek spread.

[MDC 5,890]

The Geek Club is the only place I've ever even heard about standing up to wipe.

 

You don't stand to crap. Why would you even consider standing up to wipe.

[Cdub100 3,380]

The Geek Club is the only place I've ever even heard about standing up to wipe.

 

You don't stand to crap. Why would you even consider standing up to wipe.

 

Like I said my hand touches the water too often. Also my poop comes straight out. When I stand it's not like I have poop still hanging there.

 

I can see the advantage of sitting though. I just can't do it.

[Mookz 1,287]

This thread has to be satirical, because this is probably the most hotly debated tissue at teh geek bored.

 

Anyway, I am a proud stander, toilet-paper-over-the-topper, and over-the-elastic urinater.

 

Maybe I'll try sitting just to see what it's like. I'm not even sure how the mechanics of it are going to work.

[naomi 343]

Also, Naomi and peenie need not reply in this thread.

That's fine. I have no idea what this strange subject matter is anyway.

[porkbutt 861]

i was a stander in my youth as well. somewhere along the line, someone straightened me out.

[DankNuggs 305]

I presume there is a strong correlation between standing wipers and glue huffers

[Cdub100 3,380]

I presume there is a strong correlation between standing wipers and glue huffers

 

I presume people who sit and wipe have a small and balls. Mine seem to get in the way.

[Mookz 1,287]

Just so I understand, you're supposed to rock up on your non-dominant cheek, then go in from the side?

[WhiteWonder 2,171]

And of course, women have to, so as not to scrape poo into their vag.

Uh I think they can sit as regardless of sitting or standing they really should be wiping front to back to avoid that issue. Wiping back to front or "down" if standing woild still give that terrible possibility regardless of standing or sitting.

 

I stand because I find it uncomfortable to wipe while sitting like I gotta show my hand under there and kinda raise a cheek up. Maybe I'm doing it wrong

[MDC 5,890]

 

I presume people who sit and wipe have a small ###### and balls. Mine seem to get in the way.

You are supposed to lean forward and wipe by reaching back behind your ass, not between tie legs. Were you raised by wolves or something?

[Mookz 1,287]

i was a stander in my youth as well. somewhere along the line, someone straightened me out.

 

Irony noted.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Staying seated isn't quite the best way, nor is standing up.

 

You want to ensure a free and clear tp drop zone so as to prevent putting the smeared sh!t right back onto your cheeks as you dispense with the paper. You also want to avoid the inevitable turd squishing as you stand.

 

Leaning forward and lifting into a full spread squat accomplishes both directives.

 

If no bidet is available, finish with a baby wipe.

 

Also, folding is the only way to go. If you're a wadder, just go ahead and inject straight bleach into your veins, cuz you're already dead to me.

[fandandy 3,311]

I can't even visualize (nor do I want to) how one would wipe standing up. That's just odd. Everything tightens when you're standing, are you standing and spreading your cheeks and then wiping? You fockers are weird.

 

You sit and wipe and then use a flushable wet wipe or two.

 

I think we need to renew the bathroom debate. Men, Women, Standing Wipers.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,914]

 

Possibly. I was a stander as a yoof, until I got to college and had an exchange that went something like this:

[Me: stands to wipe.]

[Friend walks in and sees my legs under the pooper door.]

Friend: "What are you doing in there, whacking off?"

Me: "No, wiping dummy."

Friend: "You aren't supposed to stand, stoopid."

[similar argument as Bunny and Sux ensues.]

 

Anyway, I tried sitting and found it is indeed superior, providing a much better cheek spread.

 

 

I wish I had taped that conversation. I can't even remember what got it started.

[Strike 3,968]

Just so I understand, you're supposed to rock up on your non-dominant cheek, then go in from the side?

 

This is what I do. I'm guessing some people go in from the front. I've tried that but it seems awkward to me. As far as standing goes, what if you've got some "loose" or "runny" poop thing going on. Wouldn't you be worried about dripping it all over the bathroom?

[Cdub100 3,380]

You are supposed to lean forward and wipe by reaching back behind your ass, not between tie legs. Were you raised by wolves or something?

 

Some people say rock to the side others go through the front and your saying to lean forward?

[drobeski 3,061]

 

I presume people who sit and wipe have a small ###### and balls. Mine seem to get in the way.

you're not supposed to wipe from back to front

[jerryskids 5,199]

 

Some people say rock to the side others go through the front and your saying to lean forward?

 

It's a front diagonal lean with about a 70/30 left/right weight distribution.

 

ETA: Presuming you wipe righty.

[WhiteWonder 2,171]

 

This is what I do. I'm guessing some people go in from the front. I've tried that but it seems awkward to me. As far as standing goes, what if you've got some "loose" or "runny" poop thing going on. Wouldn't you be worried about dripping it all over the bathroom?

I've never once worried about dripping .

 

Then again I wait until I'm fully done and Ive avoided receiving anal sex on the reg.

[wiffleball 4,640]

I tied a warchcloth to a plunger stick.

 

Also, it's a known fact that the larger 'uns have to either do the above, or stand. Their arms ain't long enough to reach around down there.

 

And really, I can't fathom the bidet. I 'get' that some of the fancy new ones have a directed fan (which probably feels nice on a hot day on yer schweaty ballz), but damn, walking around with wet swamp taint doesn't sound fun - and neither does dealing with wet clumps of TP.

 

 

 

That's why I use the 3 seashells. I mean really, when this far into the thread and no one's talking about the 3 seashells?

Animals.

[Kanil 519]

Gotta do both or you're not clean. Filthy focking animals.

[Alias Detective 1,179]

I presume people who sit and wipe have a small ###### and balls. Mine seem to get in the way.

My nuggets don't get anywhere near my Azzwhen wiping. I suspect you ar a tweener.

[wiffleball 4,640]

The cat licks her own arsehole to get clean.

 

I kind of assume that's what Newbie does.

 

On the flip side, I'm pretty sure that's what Sux does;

 

Licks cat's arseholes.

[SUXBNME 1,328]

 

Like I said my hand touches the water too often. Also my poop comes straight out. When I stand it's not like I have poop still hanging there.

 

I can see the advantage of sitting though. I just can't do it.

WTF is it with the hand touching the water thing? How high is the water in your bowls?

[BunnysBastatrds 1,914]

Adam Ant said it best...."Stand and Deliver"