So The Wifey Comes Clean And Explains

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

I turn 49 tomorrow and we had tonight to celebrate as she works late tomorrow. Had a lovely dinner with her and lil Bunny. Lil Bunny works at an old folks home a day a week for school and said one of the funniest things I ever heard. Lil Bunny: So I pick up this black ladies giant t!tty and clean underneath.

 

I spit gumbo out of my nose. Haven't laughed that hard since I picked up an old phat t!tty.

 

Get home and ready to fool around. Wifey: My uterus has dropped. Standing on marble floors has done serious damage. Bad news, they're removing all lady parts. Good news, I'm getting vaginal rejuvenation at the same time.

 

Me: Nice. Love you darlin. Good night. Everything will be fine.

 

So what do I do upon hearing this news? Jerk off to Stylze getting aas fawked less than 24 hours after her, uhhhmmm, passing. She's a screamer. Wifey is listening.

 

Me: She's loud and takes it in the pooper. I turn 50 next year. Sorry. I'll turn it down.

 

Haven't quit smiling yet.

[Gladiators 1,904]

Lol

 

Edit - Happy Birthday

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Happy Birthday and congrats to you and the missus on the new toy box.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Glad shes getting the old catchers mitt refurbished. I gotta figure that means youll be taking care of things yourself for a while. As I recall, head doesnt work right?

 

I hear menopause is a b!tch. Have fun with that.

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Happy birthday brother.

[wiffleball 4,636]

I hear menopause is a b!tch. Have fun with that.

Get her a subscription to Dollar Shave Club. Seriously.

[Voltaire 4,556]

Birthday seems pretty happy already, but Happy Birthday nonetheless.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Birthday seems pretty happy already, but Happy Birthday nonetheless.

That is a pretty damn nice gift. Honey, I got you a new poosay for your birthday.

 

You should make lil bunny chip in, since shes mostly responsible for focking up the old one.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

That is a pretty damn nice gift. Honey, I got you a new poosay for your birthday.

 

You should make lil bunny chip in, since shes mostly responsible for focking up the old one.

Nah. Lil Bunny had a cone head when she came out. I loosened that intertube long after her.

[rholio 339]

The best part of having kids? Playing with the box they arrive in. Congrats on the new box.

[wiffleball 4,636]

So what do I do upon hearing this news? Jerk off to Stylze getting aas fawked less than 24 hours after her, uhhhmmm, passing.

 

Haven't quit smiling yet.

Okay, I figured you're into some sick s*** but God damn no way can I sign off on necrophilia crap like that.

 

Sicko

[TommyGavin 788]

Pron chick died 11/9/17. Sorry to burst your 24 hour fetish.

 

 

you old fawk

[wiffleball 4,636]

Pron chick died 11/9/17. Sorry to burst your 24 hour fetish.

 

 

you old fawk

Geez, that's even grosser.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Since the doctor is turning back the clock on blown out body parts, maybe you can see if he can toss you liver in there to?

[wiffleball 4,636]

Reminds me of that old Crystal Gayle classic

 

 

Don't It Make My Brown Eye Blue...

[dain11279 927]

Since the doctor is turning back the clock on blown out body parts, maybe you can see if he can toss you liver in there to?

 

[TommyGavin 788]

Now Lots of dudes will be able to freely blow loads in there.

 

[Bier Meister 1,513]

Happy birthday.

 

 

 

She still has a mouf, right?

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

Got laid and sold my tickets. 49 is not what I wanted. My heart is with Rholio. I feel his pain and love.

 

Love you my friend.