The ocean was angry that day, my friends.

[Giants Fan 85]

Ok, in this thread zi can post my stories, and stop "diluting" other threads.

 

So, just your basics, guns are bad, Warthogs are bad-ass, and ... I am not crazy.

 

Wanna see some neat videos?

[shotsup 830]

SuckADick

[Giants Fan 85]

Poker sucks. Quitting poker. Having some car trouble. Yeah, sucks. Car will start, dies as soon as I give it gas, I am stumped.

 

So yeah, just ya know .... Hanging out and stuff.

 

Quitting watching CNN, too. Not much else on TV worth watching, even with DirectTv and the dvr and all that. It's nice to be agle to pause a movie or something, but people,that can pause a live event, drive me up,the friggin wall. Like, you go to take a piss, and they are all, "I'll pause it dude. Live game, on pause while you take a whiz." and uh, I know that the live game, in real life is actually, really continuing, and we are behind now, and then during the commercials he is all, "bro, we can fast forward through that stuff, biachez" and we are back up to speed again, and he acted like he did something cool.

 

Seen it. Know how it works. Please don't pause it, or any of that shiat. Jesus focking christ, people. Can we just watch the game?

 

i don't wanan live, in 5 minutes ago limbo.

[RLLD 3,452]

SuckADick

 

[Giants Fan 85]

It,s eat a dik, just so you know,,what all the cool kids are saying it. Or SUCK ... a bag of diks. Like leftover garbage from the fastfood place ... Just cold, limp, and shriveled from the salt ... A bag of dicks.

 

Get your dik jokes straight, man.

[Sho Nuff 719]

If you are going to quote something...at least get the quote correct.

[Giants Fan 85]

If you are going to quote something...at least get the quote correct.

It's Louis CK influenced,ok? is that alright? My own spin, on someones joke. So kill me.

[Giants Fan 85]

Reminds me of a story ...

[NorthernVike 2,079]

Reminds me of a story ...

Do tell...

[Sho Nuff 719]

It's Louis CK influenced,ok? is that alright? My own spin, on someones joke. So kill me.

 

Its your own spin...by doing Louis CK?

Yeah...how bout this...leave being funny, to guys like Seinfeld and CK who are actually funny.

[Giants Fan 85]

So, I was dating this chick. 38 D. Yeah, serious business. Rich, and she liked to smoke pot. For a moment there, I thought I was in love with her. Oh yeah, also Jewish. Icing on the cake. But she was focking crazy.

 

So, one time when we were first dating, we were gonna get some food,,and she had recently lost weight and was watching her figure but I am into sushi, or whatever. So, we got some food,,delivery, we get high, and she says,,"This is gonna be great, we are gonna smoke pot,,eat some good food,,and then smoke more pot" and I responded, ina stoner voice, "A pre food toast,,with a post food toast, makes a most excellent toast." and she was all what movie is that from? And I said, "it's not from a movie, I just made it up." and she was all, "oh." Kinda felt faked out or something, i guess. I was trying to be funny.

 

But it was telling for me that she would PREFER that I quote some dumb movie, than actually be creative. I shoulda known right then, it was not gonna work. But did I mention, 38 D. Maybe even bigger. I got distracted, at the time. My early 20s.

 

Small ass over big tiats,,any day now, I know better,,by now.

[Giants Fan 85]

When I first saw Lousi CK I showed him to my best friend and right away he said,,"Dude! it's you."

 

Ya know, I am not gonna say he has ever used my material, and I,,clearly have used his, but I a not making a living as a commedian either, OK. So, lighten up.

 

Been makin jokes here for 15 years, nobody seems to care anymore. It's sickening. You outta be ashamed of yourselves. Really. i treat yoi so good, and i get no love.

 

But yeah, so ... I look like Louis CK, kinda. Just picture, a less red head, but more angry kinda ... Broke, pisssed off, bald dude.

 

That's my favorite saying lately, and you hafta do it in an impatient Louis CK voice, "C'mon ..... Doood! WTF?"

 

I do that all the time lately. It's Louis CK influenced, for sure, but it's also kinda my own material, also.

[Giants Fan 85]

You understand, it's that impatient thing.

 

cmon.... DOOOOD ... I gotta take a piss bro. But that's the key to my thing, and what makes it funny. The drawn out, "dooooood"

[Giants Fan 85]

Totally, did not get there first. Dhooood! WTF man .... Now you are gonna buy stamps at the post office? Dhoooood."

 

[Giants Fan 85]

But it helps me laugh, when real,life ppl bother me,,even in the slightest way.

 

"Seriusly? This guy has 21 items in the 20 or less line .... Dhooood ..." yah know,,it helps me cope with the bad stuff, if I can laugh a little.

 

Influenced by Louis CK,,sure ... Absolutely. I am happy that he has found a lot of recent success. Do i borrow some of his material and re-package it for my own use, yes, I admit that I do that. But I don't even suggest to collect tips, or make any kinda compensation, and furthermore, I dontt make any claims to any copyrights, on any series of words, inflections or stories.

 

But ...c'mon ... dhoooood. Cut me some slack. I am trying to entertain you.