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NorthernVike

Colonoscopy today

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Alcohol induced Diabeetus :dunno:

No. Bad eating. Don't eat anything sweet. And I know alcohol turns into sugar. Just bad eating. Sausage and all things reprocessed in the diet with no fruits or vegetables.

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Seriously, throw these poor guys a bone. They're knee-deep in a****** every day of their lives. Find something interesting and just stick it in a few inches in. An army man, a Hot Wheels car, whatever, just make it interesting so these poor people have something to talk about when they get home from work that night.

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Seriously, throw these poor guys a bone. They're knee-deep in a****** every day of their lives. Find something interesting and just stick it in a few inches in. An army man, a Hot Wheels car, whatever, just make it interesting so these poor people have something to talk about when they get home from work that night.

Agreed. UPS me the shovel you use to fling sh!t on a daily basis and I'll stick the tip of the handle in my arse for good measure. You don't like that? Please tell me what brown can do for you. I imagine it will be spectacular. It will be amazing. We can't make this up. Really good stuff.

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If you die can I have your ice fishing equipment? TIA

No. I have son's and they know how to use it. Along with my guns. :bandana:

 

 

 

If the wife figures out how much I have invested in my hunting and fishing gear, she'd kill me first. :banana:

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God Dam Diverticulitis

 

 

I'm hoping that is what it is. :askered:

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Been having some issues since beginning of November. Not shitting right, constipated followed by blasting nasty brown water out my ass for 12 hours straight. Never had any pain just lost of gas.

 

Tomorrow should be fun. :unsure: At least I'll have a plan of attack and try to resolve this mess.

Aspartame.... its everywhere.

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I'm hoping that is what it is. :askered:

Being scared is natural, the effects of being scared will only make the situation worse as you may well know.

 

In all seriousness, Do you have any term to convert as you may not be getting any permenant insurance going forward?

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I'm hoping that is what it is. :askered:

I guess you don't want to grab a few beers tomorrow night?

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I'm hoping that is what it is. :askered:

From what you've described, it doesn't sound like diverticulitis. Diverticulitis usually has acute abdominal pain, fever and loose stools. What you should hope for is a stricture and not a mass obstructing the colon.

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Did you orgasm?

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

Uh... ummm.. I was gonna make a joke about your poop shoot and my garden hose but....

 

That seems inappropriate now.

 

Hang in there bro!

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Sphinctastic thread

 

Edit after seeing second page: best of luck with the surgery

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

 

Hope your surgery goes well. :thumbsup:

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

Hoping that all goes well.

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

Best of luck man. :cheers:

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No matter how bad it feels now, things will work out in the end.

 

Okay...seriously. Best of luck.

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

Too late. Your anus is already connected to a giant shiitbag. :wave:

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Too late. Your anus is already connected to a giant shiitbag. :wave:

It's comments like this...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That help a deranged SOB like me get through times like this. :thumbsup:

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Surgery is set for Monday. They are going to remove around 12 inches of my colon. If all goes well, I won't have a shitbag.

When you sneeze you won't accidentally yourself with a bag. In all seriousness, my best friend dealt with this, you can kick its ass too.

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everything come out okay?

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everything come out okay?

Don't be a party pooper

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Ingredients:

12 inch section of colon
Cold water to cover
1 cup cider vinegar
5 bay leaves
2 large onions, coarsely chopped
2 large potatoes, peeled and coarsely chopped
1 green or red bell pepper, cored, seeded, and coarsely chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and freshly-ground black pepper to taste
Hot pepper sauce

 

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;

 

 

 

It's a semi-colon!

You really should have done it in riddle form. If NorthernVike was a punctuation mark, which one would he be?

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You really should have done it in riddle form. If NorthernVike was a punctuation mark, which one would he be?

Lol

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Well if they do decide to do surgery, I hope they go in and get it all taken care of.

 

No point in doing this half-assed.

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Just thought I'd share my day with all of you.

 

A colon stricture causes constipation. After a few days of not passing anything your body turns your digestive system liquid. So since 1 this morning I've been running to the can every 20 to 30 minutes with explosive diarrhea. I have lost over five pounds in the last twelve hours.

 

You're welcome.

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Just thought I'd share my day with all of you.

A colon stricture causes constipation. After a few days of not passing anything your body turns your digestive system liquid. So since 1 this morning I've been running to the can every 20 to 30 minutes with explosive diarrhea. I have lost over five pounds in the last twelve hours.

You're welcome.

Always knew you were full of shlt.

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