Two working parent househoulds

[KSB2424 3,083]

How do you guys do it? Seriously?

 

I am not saying its right or wrong, as each family has different dynamics but as somebody who did it for a very short time (like six months) and now has a stay at home wife, I just don't see how its done.

 

On the first page today there are questions about housekeeping services, arguements about vacations as both parents cant get off work at the same time, what to do with the kids during track outs / summers, what to do with pets, eating out all the time (getting fat).

 

What's the secret? Does it put a significant strain on your marraige? It was all but an impossible task for us.

[Frank M 181]

My wife worked for the first year of my oldest son's life, then stayed at home for about eight years, until my youngest went to kindergarten, then she got a part time job.

 

It was rough financially, it really put us into quite a hole, but we dug our way out of it eventually. The part time work allowed her to still be there for the kids when they got home from school and such, and the place she worked for was not open in the summer, so it really fell into place nicely.

[TD Ryan2 314]

1. We both have jobs with some flexibility (flex hours, occasional work from home, 4+ weeks vacation)

2. Grandparents are involved and very supportive

3. Endurance - it is a grind sometimes, out of the house by 7am, not home until 8pm some nights

4. Spousal support - when one is tired/struggling, the other is strong

 

It is a grind sometimes - but I see my children happy/healthy and doing well in school and activities. That's my barometer for it all - if they were not well, I would reconsider the "plan" but for us, it is working and although Mrs. TD and I don't get to the movies or out alone very often, we still have a healthy relationship.

[KSB2424 3,083]

1. We both have jobs with some flexibility (flex hours, occasional work from home, 4+ weeks vacation)

2. Grandparents are involved and very supportive

 

 

I think these two are most important. My wife was a dental hygenist. When our oldest was in daycare and he got sick or an ear infection or whatever it was, she couldn't leave. She was in a job that had patients scheduled. I was having to leave everytime and it got to the point where it wasn't looking good.

 

And having extra support like grandparents or other family members I could see being very important.

 

[TD Ryan2 314]

 

I think these two are most important.

 

 

for us, they are.

we probably couldn't manage it all without those 2 (work flex, involved grandparents).

[KSB2424 3,083]

until my youngest went to kindergarten, then she got a part time job.

 

 

 

Yup, this sounds like a good plan for us as well. We've talked about her looking into the school system for a part time job as she'd have the exact same schedule they would which would be perfect.

 

Hard to narrow it down that specific though. But that would be ideal.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

My wife did not work for the first 12 years or so once we had kids. She just went back to work about a year ago (she is also a hygienist) on a part time basis.

 

I have seen plenty of other families succeed with both parents working. You have to have some flexibility and you need some help.

 

The reality is that there are plenty of folks who HAVE TO have both parents working just to make ends meet. If you are fortunate enough to be able to have a single working parent, then you are lucky. That may come with some sacrifices as well (career, money, etc.), but at least you have the option.

[vuduchile 1,941]

I can't imagine doing it without flexible work hours.

 

I own and operate a biz and my wife works full time for a company that provides a generous PTO program.

 

The other thing that helps us is our commute time. It's a 2 minute walk from our place to my store, and my wife's office is a 1.5 miles up the road.

 

It's easier now that my sons are both in school all day. I take them to school, then work from 8- 3:00. I can pick them up, and make dinner in time for my wife to be home at 5ish so we can all have dinner together.

 

The school also has a great after school program they can attend when I get tied up at work need them to stay around for awhile. The program holds basketball, wrestling, soccer and volleyball clinics which my sons both like.

 

I do all the cooking. She does all the cleaning. I do all the maintenance, yard work, and she does all the laundry. It works out well for us. We're very fortunate.

 

My sons never went to daycare. My MIL came over during the day when we needed her to.

[phillybear 364]

Women shouldn't be allowed to go to work. They ruin everything.

[edjr 5,561]

My hours are not flexible at all and I am an hour from home.

 

She bartends and is a waitress, so she has flexible hours.

 

Her family (mother and sisters) are there to watch him when she works.

[porkbutt 861]

i'd do anything (work six jobs, drive a sh;t car, have a smaller house) than have her work. now that they all in school she works part time at their school and has summers off.

 

i see dudes that have to leave work early, come in late, take off all the time. but they have nice cars and houses

 

fock that!

 

if you want a family, men should work and wimmens stay home.IMO

[DankNuggs 305]

My wife has started 'recreational' part time work as she struggled with the lack of interaction being a stay at home mom with an infant entails. Grandparents watch the kid during her 3 part time shifts a week. I pick up the kid on my way home from work. My biggest issue with it is that it forces a lot of inconvenience in my schedule. I cant stay late if work needs it as the kid needs to get home and be put to bed.

 

I have to say it bugs me a bit because my responsibility as provider of the family has put me in tough positions to support her part time schedule, and she treats her minimum wage job as important as mine is. For her mental sanity, sure I get that it's important, but the two things are on different levels of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs

 

:vent:

[DankNuggs 305]

 

Yup, this sounds like a good plan for us as well. We've talked about her looking into the school system for a part time job as she'd have the exact same schedule they would which would be perfect.

 

Hard to narrow it down that specific though. But that would be ideal.

This is probably an ideal scenario

[KSB2424 3,083]

This is probably an ideal scenario

 

Teachers Assistant, Librarian, Front Office (administration), all at the same school would be perfect. They'd all be lower paying jobs than what she had before kids, but whatcha going to do?

 

Do schools systems have a 'Dental Lady' like they did when I wan in elementary school. Did you have to ever swish this red shat that stained your teeth so you could see plaque or something. This was in the 80's. WTF was that?

[jerryskids 5,192]

We were really lucky. 4 months after my first was born I got a job that paid 50% more, so my wife went part time. 6 months before my second I moved into sales and started printing money so she stayed home full time. She went back full time 3 years ago when I lost my job. I did some consulting for a while but controlled my schedule.

 

The past year is the first time we've had to deal with us both working full time. The youngest is 13 so it isn't as bad as with little kids, but we still have doctor visits etc. She does the bulk of it but I help if she is busy. We couldn't do it without flexibility in our schedules. Also planning in advance so I can block out my calendar.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Teachers Assistant, Librarian, Front Office (administration), all at the same school would be perfect. They'd all be lower paying jobs than what she had before kids, but whatcha going to do?

 

Do schools systems have a 'Dental Lady' like they did when I wan in elementary school. Did you have to ever swish this red shat that stained your teeth so you could see plaque or something. This was in the 80's. WTF was that?

My wife did help out at the school, but why can't your wife just work part time as a hygienist? My wife kept her license active and works 2-3 days a week now.

[edjr 5,561]

i'd do anything (work six jobs, drive a sh;t car, have a smaller house) than have her work. now that they all in school she works part time at their school and has summers off.

 

i see dudes that have to leave work early, come in late, take off all the time. but they have nice cars and houses

 

fock that!

 

if you want a family, men should work and wimmens stay home.IMO

 

Probably for the best, that you are around your children as little as possible

[Sho Nuff 719]

It was hard, and we think about this now as I am thinking about going back to work.

We try figuring out when a lot of things I do now being home will get done.

 

You just have to make more time for it and be much better managed with your time.

We did it for about 8 years with one kid...about 4 years with 2.

[KSB2424 3,083]

My wife did help out at the school, but why can't your wife just work part time as a hygienist? My wife kept her license active and works 2-3 days a week now.

 

She may? My youngest is only two years old so we just started even talking about it. For some reason I assumed that part time jobs in that field are hard to come by. Maybe that's me just being ignorant.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

She may? My youngest is only two years old so we just started even talking about it. For some reason I assumed that part time jobs in that field are hard to come by. Maybe that's me just being ignorant.

A part time hygienist job is pretty easy to find. There are opportunities for just certain days, nights and some dentists even work on Saturday's. There are temp agencies that will also fill spots for short periods of time if someone is sick or vacation.

 

Not sure what the rules are where you are, but my wife had to maintain her license with yearly training. She was a little scared going back after being out for 12 years because she thought that the technology would be totally different, but she has had no problems. It is like riding a bike.

 

Also, the pay for hygiene is far more than you will get as an admin at a school.

[edjr 5,561]

 

She may? My youngest is only two years old so we just started even talking about it. For some reason I assumed that part time jobs in that field are hard to come by. Maybe that's me just being ignorant.

 

worms is looking for a maid

[DankNuggs 305]

 

worms is looking for a maid

who can double as a pretend legal secretary. Worms will provide the requisite glasses, legal notepad and jumbo sized crayons

[porkbutt 861]

 

Probably for the best, that you are around your children as little as possible

can't argue with you there. i beat those lil fockers

[porkbutt 861]

It was hard, and we think about this now as I am thinking about going back to work.

We try figuring out when a lot of things I do now being home will get done.

 

You just have to make more time for it and be much better managed with your time.

We did it for about 8 years with one kid...about 4 years with 2.

you're a stay at home dad?

[edjr 5,561]

can't argue with you there. i beat those lil fockers

 

[edjr 5,561]

you're a stay at home dad?

 

This has been discussed before.

[porkbutt 861]

 

This has been discussed before.

sorry i don't keep track of this sh;t. did you get a dishwasher yet?

[edjr 5,561]

sorry i don't keep track of this sh;t. did you get a dishwasher yet?

 

Had one for years.

 

I even posted the picture

[IGotWorms 3,310]

who can double as a pretend legal secretary. Worms will provide the requisite glasses, legal notepad and jumbo sized crayons

We use markers. This isn't some fly-by-night fake lawyering operation

[Sho Nuff 719]

you're a stay at home dad?

yes

I do some independent work here and there though too

forensic audit work or efficiency audits/research

[porkbutt 861]

yes

I do some independent work here and there though too

forensic audit work or efficiency audits/research

splains alot

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

Me and the Mrs have been full time working parents since we've been married. It is not difficult if you are responsible. Like not having more than one child if both parents have to work. I know people who have three or more kids and all they do is b!tch and complain about how they have no lives between work and their kids. If you would have had one or two life would be much easier in a two income family.

[penultimatestraw 473]

How do you guys do it? Seriously?

 

I am not saying its right or wrong, as each family has different dynamics but as somebody who did it for a very short time (like six months) and now has a stay at home wife, I just don't see how its done.

 

On the first page today there are questions about housekeeping services, arguements about vacations as both parents cant get off work at the same time, what to do with the kids during track outs / summers, what to do with pets, eating out all the time (getting fat).

 

What's the secret? Does it put a significant strain on your marraige? It was all but an impossible task for us.

We don't have kids, but many of our coworkers do. Most of them have live-in parents/in-laws or nannies to offload their child care.

 

I'll venture to guess that being at work may be less stressful than stay at home parenting for many.

[Sho Nuff 719]

splains alot

 

Umm...thanks.

[kilroy69 994]

My gf works 9 to 5 I work 5 to 2. We see each other on her lunch and days off. It's rough but ya got to do what ha got to do.