I've been drunk since Thursday Evening

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

I have been on a bender since 3 hours ago. It will be ending within the hour

[nzoner 936]

Electing not to drive drunk isn't a big accomplishment. Rather than inconveniencing wifey in the aftermath of your drunken revelry, why not take an uber to retrieve the Jeep?

Because I was going to take her to breakfast,then the sh!t hit the fan.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I pretty much dont drink anymore.

 

Here in the last two weeks that weve been in the Philippines, Ive had maybe... ten or twelve beers. Every time at the invitation of her brothers. Shes started making disapproving noises.

 

This morning, I have the squirts. She says, its peobably the beer. You should quit the beer. I said, yeah, youre right. No way its the focking pork bought from god knows where cooked outside and sitting with flies all over. Has to be the beer.

 

(In her defense, I recently found out I have a kidney stone situation, so thats why shes being a pain in the ass about it.)

[shotsup 832]

What would you call it?

Enjoying the shiit outta life.

[shotsup 832]

Rum TBBOM Run now. If you can't drink 10 beers in 14 days without hearing shiit about it. Run.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

I'd go with the Tullamore Dew. Slainte'. Spent some time in Tullamore, County Offaly.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Enjoying the shiit outta life.

Seriously, you are a grown man and can handle yourself. These guys need to worry about themselves. Functional alcoholism is a thing, many people can keep it together and not spin their life out of control.

 

Do you, always.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

 

On a bender and it shows

 

Me also. I've got Eddie Money syndrome.

[MDC 5,890]

I pretty much dont drink anymore.

 

Here in the last two weeks that weve been in the Philippines, Ive had maybe... ten or twelve beers. Every time at the invitation of her brothers. Shes started making disapproving noises.

 

This morning, I have the squirts. She says, its peobably the beer. You should quit the beer. I said, yeah, youre right. No way its the focking pork bought from god knows where cooked outside and sitting with flies all over. Has to be the beer.

 

(In her defense, I recently found out I have a kidney stone situation, so thats why shes being a pain in the ass about it.)

Religious family, wont do anal, nags about beer. Is she smiling hot?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

Religious family, wont do anal, nags about beer. Is she smiling hot?

Someone got the tall and slender one with the hourglass figure.

[MDC 5,890]

I am a truly lucky guy.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

I am a truly lucky guy.

Especially since the circus doesn't have a freak show anymore. Lots of time on the road

[MDC 5,890]

This from the dude whos wife has a mouth-hugger from Alien between her thighs. Lol.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

This from the dude whos wife has a mouth-hugger from Alien between her thighs. Lol.

See, here's the difference: you're making things up that you think are funny. That's cool. But I'm pointing out that you have described your wife as both tall and slender (32b) and at another time as having an hourglass figure. You either lied or something else occurred. Lol

[MDC 5,890]

I hope Mrs HT does anal. Shes worthless in the sack otherwise.

 

No wonder youre so grumpy.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,618]

I hope Mrs HT does anal. Shes worthless in the sack otherwise.

 

No wonder youre so grumpy.

Keep it classy. You forgot to call my kids retarded again.

[MDC 5,890]

Wives are off limits now. Gotcha.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Anal is overrated anyway. It’s one of those things where I want it just for the sake of having it but when it’s happening I’m just waiting to switch back...to giving a reacharound.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Religious family, wont do anal, nags about beer. Is she smiling hot?

Religious isnt a big deal most of the time. Its more of like a superstition thing with them really. She went to church yesterday without me. No problem.

 

Yeah, shes not down with the anal. Im trying to sell that it would be a special thing for our wedding night. surprisingly, she hasnt completely shut it down.

 

The beer thing... never happened before. Its a combination of the kidney thing, and just quite frankly, being a houseguest and all this wedding bullsh!t is making us both a little snippier than usual.

 

And when I say nagging, dont use American standard of nagging. I mean saying once, being ignored, and thats it.

 

And yeah. Shes way hotter than my goofy ass should be able to land.

[MDC 5,890]

Religious isnt a big deal most of the time. Its more of like a superstition thing with them really. She went to church yesterday without me. No problem.

 

Yeah, shes not down with the anal. Im trying to sell that it would be a special thing for our wedding night. surprisingly, she hasnt completely shut it down.

 

The beer thing... never happened before. Its a combination of the kidney thing, and just quite frankly, being a houseguest and all this wedding bullsh!t is making us both a little snippier than usual.

 

And when I say nagging, dont use American standard of nagging. I mean saying once, being ignored, and thats it.

 

And yeah. Shes way hotter than my goofy ass should be able to land.

Outkicked your coverage - good man.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

Outkicked your coverage - good man.

My wifey of twenty years has teased me like Lucy has done to Charlie Fawking Brown. Tees that brown eyed girl up for two decades. And pulled it away every fawking time.

 

Got ripped hammered one night and made a sign. I love signs. Wriote "Doggy Style Allowed" She wrote underneath..."No dogs on the grass or in the mud!!!"

 

[wiffleball 4,635]

A couple times a year was flying. Don't let this stick in the asses ruin your time.

 

The problem is, that should tends to blur together into one Longyear or 10 of drinking. Make sure that doesn't happen.