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I love my wife and kids and don't need you messing up my life

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Is what I got told after catching someone (we'll call him Lance) cheating on his wife.

 

Back story I grew up friends with Lance's wife. Went to the same church and ran with the same group of friends in high school. We're in our 40's now and still just friends. When we see each other we'll talk. They been together close to 20 year. I never had a problem with either of them.

 

So a cousin of mine had birthday. A small group of us take him out to eat and do a little parting later that night. On the way to the table I walk past Lance. I tell him hey how it going. I notice he's not with his wife, but a different lady. Not a big deal. She maybe a family member, friend, co-worker, or something else. Its none of my business and not a big deal

 

After eating our group goes to 90's night at Big Texas in Spring Texas. Having a great time. I notice Lance and his lady friend. Kind of obvious they are not family because if they were they would be kissing cousins. Again its none of my business. I don't know if he and his wife are having trouble at home or what the deal is. A few drink in I decide to walk past them and make my presents. He stared me down the rest of the night, but oh well.

 

The next week I started getting text from a number I did not know.

 

We good?

What are you going to do?

Are we good?

 

I assumed it was him but I did not reply.

 

Went to a wedding this past weekend. Lance and his wife were there. Again I decide to make my presents known. Hey how are y'all doing? Long time no see. After a little small talk. It comes out that he's been at the deer lease the past couple weekends. Getting things ready for hunting season. This would a been during the same time I saw him with his lady friend.

 

Later that night he pulled me aside and told me I love my wife and kids and I don't need you messing up my life. I told him you don't need my help because you're doing a pretty good job of that on your own. I walked away and have not talk to him since.

 

I'm pretty good at minding my own business, but after that last conversation I am ready to spill the beans. Problem is I think of his wife and kids and I really don't want to be a trouble maker.

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Dam, not sure what I would do there. Off the cuff thought, get an anonymous note to his wife. Sucks being in your shoes.

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Couple things...

 

1) Not sure why you would feel the need to let anybody know which presents you brought to the wedding. :huh:

 

B ) Stay out of it.

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Couple things...

 

1) Not sure why you would feel the need to let anybody know which presents you brought to the wedding. :huh:

 

B ) Stay out of it.

It's Texas. He had to tell them which belt buckle was from him

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The guys a dik. Why are you bringing your side piece round people you know?

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She probably knows already.

Or she will soon if this guy is going on public dates with his side piece. Unless his wife is a good friend keep it to yourself.

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Dude is dumb enough to have his side piece out in public with mutual friends...no way he does not get busted.

I agree with others...need to get some presents out of this and make them known.

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One of my good buddies was stepping out on his wife. Kind of the same situation. I knew both from high school and have been friends for well over 12 years take vacations together etc... Well my friend was smart enough to not talk about it with me which I'm tankful for. I could honestly say I didn't know.

 

Here's how he got caught and why it pissed me off. So he and his side chick where going to the movies and out to eat and sh1t. Well his dumb ass left the receipt and movie tickets in his pants pocket. When his wife was doing laundry she found them. So why did it piss me off? Because he was telling his wife he was going to the movies alone which is what I ACTUALLY do. My wife and I have very different taste in movies so I don't force her to watch the stuff she hates (horror scifi movies etc...) I like to catch the first showing because it was 1. cheaper and most importantly 2. little to nobody in the theater. So now he's tainted something I enjoy doing. My wife has never said anything but I'm sure it's crossed her mind.

 

Focking idiot

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Snitches get stitches.

 

It is selfish to tell the wife, you are only doing it to make yourself feel virtuous.

 

Maybe she knows, maybe she suspects, maybe she doesn't care.

 

Their life, not yours.

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Snitches get stitches.

 

It is selfish to tell the wife, you are only doing it to make yourself feel virtuous.

 

Maybe she knows, maybe she suspects, maybe she doesn't care.

 

Their life, not yours.

If she's a close friend, this is crap. Maybe he cares about his friend's well-being? If she already knows and doesn't care, big wup. But if she doesn't, he may be helping her. Why would an altruistic act for a good friend be considered selfish?

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Kind of surprised at the responses. If this was a really good friend female or male I'm telling them. I've got no loyalty to somebody that's the spouse of a good friend especially given that they are cheating.

I mean let's say this went on for years and years and years without getting caught. do you somehow feel better because you know this person is wasting years of their life with a cheater because you didn't say anything?

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Not your business. I have seen too many times and heard stories too many times of a good intentioned person interjection himself into someone's bizz, only to get his ass kicked or some other outcome not fitting of a good semaritan.

 

You dont know what goes on behind the scenes.

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You dont know what goes on behind the scenes.

Uh... I'd say he absolutely does know what goes on behind the scenes.

 

And I disagree with the Geek Club for once, I'd tell the wife.

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Kind of surprised at the responses. If this was a really good friend female or male I'm telling them. I've got no loyalty to somebody that's the spouse of a good friend especially given that they are cheating.

I mean let's say this went on for years and years and years without getting caught. do you somehow feel better because you know this person is wasting years of their life with a cheater because you didn't say anything?

It's just stupid "man code" bravado. You're a sh!tty friend if you don't.

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Some of you are over valuing an old friend from high school. OP said they don't ever talk or hang out unless they run into each other.

 

This isn't the couple you hang out with every weekend, it is a couple that you were friends with the wife 20 years ago because of proximity.

 

If it was someone he was close with, saw on a regular basis, had over to the house for BBQs and birthdays that would be one thing.

 

OP goes interjecting himself into another couple's marriage he may end up causing a divorce or violence.

 

The wife likely already knows anyway, people are not stupid and can tell when their spouse is stepping out. Heck she may have her own sidepiece and the marriage is just for the kids and for show.

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Man code people. Let's try and remember , ok?

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OP even says in the last sentence that his motivation is because he didn't like the way the guy handled it. Nothing to do with his "friend".

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OP even says in the last sentence that his motivation is because he didn't like the way the guy handled it. Nothing to do with his "friend".

Yeah if that's the case you're just out looking for trouble.

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Some of you are over valuing an old friend from high school. OP said they don't ever talk or hang out unless they run into each other.

 

This isn't the couple you hang out with every weekend, it is a couple that you were friends with the wife 20 years ago because of proximity.

 

If it was someone he was close with, saw on a regular basis, had over to the house for BBQs and birthdays that would be one thing.

 

OP goes interjecting himself into another couple's marriage he may end up causing a divorce or violence.

 

The wife likely already knows anyway, people are not stupid and can tell when their spouse is stepping out. Heck she may have her own sidepiece and the marriage is just for the kids and for show.

Fair enough. When did "stepping out" become a euphemism for infidelity?

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Uh... I'd say he absolutely does know what goes on behind the scenes.

 

And I disagree with the Geek Club for once, I'd tell the wife.

It doesn't seem so.

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I think your response to him was a good one. Now I'd just stay out of it.

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I think your response to him was a good one. Now I'd just stay out of it.

Agreed :thumbsup:

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