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titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

Women and stupid questions

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I love the wimmens. Don't get me wrong. They add so much to one's quality of life.

 

But some things they just suck at. Figuring out an alternate plan is one of them.

 

So today, the girlfriend is flying back to the Philippines for a visit. I arranged the driver I usually use to take her to the airport. Pickup at 5am.

 

We get up. There is no water in my apartment.

 

"I need to poop." She says.

 

"Gonna have to hold it till we get downstairs and use the (ghastly) public restroom." I replied.

 

"Can't I just go here and you can flush it when the water comes back on?" She says.

 

"This is china baby. It could be days. No way am I hanging out with your turd all weekend."

 

Finally, I tell her to do it, and I'd go down to get some water in bottles to fill the tank and flush it. Fortunately, I find out the elevators are down before she begins.

 

"Sorry baby. No way. I ain't lugging two gallons of water up thirty flights of stairs."

 

"Oh no! How will we get out of the building!"

 

I actually stopped and looked at her.

 

"We will use the stairs love."

 

Then the gates were off, as no power to the compound. Had to lug her luggage over the wrought iron fence. Then climb thirty floors back up.

 

This day can already kiss my ass.

 

Oh, and I took my morning dump in the stairwell. Fock em.

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Shiot, Mississipi sounds like Monte Carlo compared to that bunghole. :unsure:

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Shiot, Mississipi sounds like Monte Carlo compared to that bunghole. :unsure:

It's actually a very nice building. This is the first time the elevator has been out in a year.

 

But yeah, there are some things like public bathrooms, that are just ungodly. I carry immodium around.

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Your story reminds me of a story I've probably told here, but fock it I'm just hanging out watching the DBacks. Anyway, I was in Singapore and went to a night club... alone... white guy... half of the chicks were checking me out as I walked in. Hmm I'm thinking, you still got it killa!

 

So I sit down and this hot chick comes over and says hi. After a solid 30 seconds of game I ask her what she does for a living. Her: Are you really going to make me say it. Me... :huh: :o

 

I ask if she is from around here and she says no, the Philippines, and she goes back for a week every 4 weeks. Me: Hmm, why? Her: Think about it. Me... :huh: :o

 

I eventually told her it wasn't going to happen so that she had a chance of finding a paying customer. :cheers:

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Your story reminds me of a story I've probably told here, but fock it I'm just hanging out watching the DBacks. Anyway, I was in Singapore and went to a night club... alone... white guy... half of the chicks were checking me out as I walked in. Hmm I'm thinking, you still got it killa!

 

So I sit down and this hot chick comes over and says hi. After a solid 30 seconds of game I ask her what she does for a living. Her: Are you really going to make me say it. Me... :huh: :o

 

I ask if she is from around here and she says no, the Philippines, and she goes back for a week every 4 weeks. Me: Hmm, why? Her: Think about it. Me... :huh: :o

 

I eventually told her it wasn't going to happen so that she had a chance of finding a paying customer. :cheers:

I have never met a woman here who was openly a hooker. Met a few who I thought were normal that turned out to be hookers later though. It's a fine line around here I find.

 

I picked a girl up once. She was from Shanghai. I asked her why she wasn't home for the holiday. She said she didn't have money for a train ticket.

 

Couple hours later, we're naked. Right before she invites me in, She mentions "by the way, I need ¥500 ($72.90). Smart girl. Knew she wasn't hot enough to mention that at the bar, but figured that once it was already on, I wouldn't argue. She figured right.

 

Next morning we split a cab to the train station. I paid. Such a gentleman. I kinda thought that was weird. Going to visit daddy with money you made selling sex. Wonder if daddy figures it out.

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Sounds like a hell hole... One reason I will never live outside of the great US of A...

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Sounds like a hell hole... One reason I will never live outside of the great US of A...

I know right? Blackouts and water shut offs common occurrence? No focking thanks. I can get poosie here in the states. Don't need to go to china for some ass

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Sounds pretty sh!tty, probably another reason why you're such a miserable fock.

 

:wave:

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I can get poosie here in the states. Don't need to go to china for some ass

Such a gentleman- your wife is a lucky gal

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I love the wimmens. Don't get me wrong. They add so much to one's quality of life.

 

But some things they just suck at. Figuring out an alternate plan is one of them.

 

So today, the girlfriend is flying back to the Philippines for a visit. I arranged the driver I usually use to take her to the airport. Pickup at 5am.

 

We get up. There is no water in my apartment.

 

"I need to poop." She says.

 

"Gonna have to hold it till we get downstairs and use the (ghastly) public restroom." I replied.

 

"Can't I just go here and you can flush it when the water comes back on?" She says.

 

"This is china baby. It could be days. No way am I hanging out with your turd all weekend."

 

Finally, I tell her to do it, and I'd go down to get some water in bottles to fill the tank and flush it. Fortunately, I find out the elevators are down before she begins.

 

"Sorry baby. No way. I ain't lugging two gallons of water up thirty flights of stairs."

 

"Oh no! How will we get out of the building!"

 

I actually stopped and looked at her.

 

"We will use the stairs love."

 

Then the gates were off, as no power to the compound. Had to lug her luggage over the wrought iron fence. Then climb thirty floors back up.

 

This day can already kiss my ass.

 

Oh, and I took my morning dump in the stairwell. Fock em.

That's quite a life you've carved out for yourself there.

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I know right? Blackouts and water shut offs common occurrence? No focking thanks. I can get poosie here in the states. Don't need to go to china for some ass

You can get hotter chicks here than you qualify for back home. Maybe that's unfair as in my case I was depressed, substitute teaching, and living with my mom on 8 Mile. My fiance (the black one I told you about) had dumped me a year earlier and I was even striking out with gumpy slup-breaker chicks.

 

Soon after I got off the plane in China and had a nice hottie girlfriend within a few days. And I married really well (this second time).

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Here's a nice story for you...

 

Our elevator seldom goes out, but when it does, since we're on the top floor, we just go to the building next to ours and use their elevator, then cross over the fire escape. The area around the fire escape in our building is a small balcony. Although it's public access, it's right outside our door and my kids play there, my wife and MiL use it to plant vegetables and hang clothes. About 15 square meters that I didn't pay for but that we've commandeered and use anyway for our purposes. Cool.

 

Considering the thread title is "Women and stupid" and regards women in China, let's stop to reflect on this then briefly then continue on with my story...

 

So then my idiot wife decides to make it fully private ... by installing a focking heavy duty padlock door, the same heavy duty thing you'd put into the front of your house, where the fire escape opens up to the building. I can't believe the stupidity and I give her grief. "Have you gone mad?!?!? You can't put a locked door on a fire escape!" "Yes we can. Don't worry." Totally idiotic. Sure enough, before the week is out, we get a visit from the building manager and now we have to pay to uninstall it.

 

That's not the end of the story. Oh, no, no. So then a year later, I look on the other side of the fire escape and I notice the same type of door has been ripped out of the other end of the balcony in the mirror image place of where my wife installed ours except on their side. Cleaarly, the neighbor on that side of the fire escape is just as focking stupid and clueless as my wife, germinated the same stupid idea in his stupid head, and then got the same visit and the same result we did.

 

What the fock is wrong with these people?

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You can get hotter chicks here than you qualify for back home. Maybe that's unfair as in my case I was depressed, substitute teaching, and living with my mom on 8 Mile. My fiance (the black one I told you about) had dumped me a year earlier and I was even striking out with gumpy slup-breaker chicks.

 

Soon after I got off the plane in China and had a nice hottie girlfriend within a few days. And I married really well (this second time).

I dunno I did really well for myself here. I'm sure that's not that case for everyone but I still wouldn't want to move all that way and live under those conditions for a little bit of ass when I got it back here and it was legit hotties. Not saying I haven't focked an average or less than average attractive girl but usually didn't have a problem. Also not saying I scored massive amounts of girls or scored tons of models but was easily racking up an average of 8/10 in the looks department

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Can't breathe the air, can't eat the food, can't take a dooky,

 

But these axssholes spent $100B to host the Olympics and have a supersonic missile that can take out our aircraft carriers.

 

 

Fantastic priorities there you little diicked fish eaters.

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China's high quality apartments sounds like the quality of the products they send over. Maybe if our country held the crap they send over to a higher standard.... Oh look, China has been selling us this product that gives kids cancer and it has lead in it. Damn those Chinese! Well, I mean I do need a new toaster and this Chinese brand is really cheap...

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That's not the end of the story. Oh, no, no. So then a year later, I look on the other side of the fire escape and I notice the same type of door has been ripped out of the other end of the balcony in the mirror image place of where my wife installed ours except on their side. Cleaarly, the neighbor on that side of the fire escape is just as focking stupid and clueless as my wife, germinated the same stupid idea in his stupid head, and then got the same visit and the same result we did.

 

What the fock is wrong with these people?

I was just out there now to look at the fire escape. We removed our door, it's ours that's ripped out. Our neighbor's door was never ripped out. It is still installed and he keeps it closed but unlocked.

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I was just out there now to look at the fire escape. We removed our door, it's ours that's ripped out. Our neighbor's door was never ripped out. It is still installed and he keeps it closed but unlocked.

:unsure:

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"My balcony" isn't really mine. I bought the apartment next to the fire escape and I am the only apartment with a door that opens up onto that balcony. I didn't pay extra for the square footage outside and know it's public access, my wife and MiL just took it over.

 

I paid (read my wife using my money paid) for all those upgrades. I paid for those tiles, I paid for that flower bed, I paid for the chairs, the flowers, the paint. Th awning sucked, I paid to install a new one. I told you how my wife installed that door where the building opens, she also a gate right at the fire escape on the other end of the balcony. :wacko: I never did remove the gate, only the lock mechanism, so it just hangs their loose.

 

Anyway, it's public access, with the door removed, it does open up onto the stairwell unimpeded on our side. But your neighbors front porch is the same way. If you were to stand on his porch, you'd feel like you didn't belong like you would on "my" balcony. It has the total look at feel that it's private property and when I'm out there, it certainly feels like mine. When I cross the fire escape like I did just now when I saw the door on the other was closed, to check if it was locked, I felt like I was trespassing on his turf. No doubt anyone wanting to use the fire escape must feel like their cutting through somebody else's private balcony.

 

I'm surprised the building manager lets us get away with it. I suppose it's because he thinks with a Chinese brain too. We did pay for all the upgrades ourselves and we do pay for all the maintenance though. It certainly looks a lot nicer and cleaner than before when it was just barren nothingness in need of a paint job.

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So apparently the trouble this morning was because they were putting in a new transformer or something.

 

Guess that's what the signs I can't read were about. Oops.

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She can poop right on my chest if she wants. :wub:

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Getting to,you know, the actual thread title.?

 

One of the things I learned early on as a Young Man is that women ask questions just for the sake of flapping their f****** gums.

The truth is, they don't even know Why they're asking the questions they ask 90% of the time.

 

 

But I also learned the best way to shut them up is this: simply wait for them to finish their question take a beat, then look at them sincerely and ask one word ; why?

 

Seriously, try it sometime on your wife or girlfriend or whatever. It works every time.

 

And if they persist with some dumbass answer like oh well I um I was just asking...

 

I know you're asking. Now I am simply asking why?

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Getting to,you know, the actual thread title.?

 

One of the things I learned early on as a Young Man is that women ask questions just for the sake of flapping their f****** gums.

The truth is, they don't even know Why they're asking the questions they ask 90% of the time.

 

 

But I also learned the best way to shut them up is this: simply wait for them to finish their question take a beat, then look at them sincerely and ask one word ; why?

 

Seriously, try it sometime on your wife or girlfriend or whatever. It works every time.

 

And if they persist with some dumbass answer like oh well I um I was just asking...

 

I know you're asking. Now I am simply asking why?

Women must love you

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You guys hangout with some dumba$$ chicks. I haven't had any of these issues since high school.

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You guys hangout with some dumba$$ chicks. I haven't had any of these issues since high school.

 

I was tricked. She beat me at Chinese checkers so I figured a chick has to be pretty smart to do that to me. Plus she was really cute too.

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So you took a dump in the stairwell of the building you live in?

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So you took a dump in the stairwell of the building you live in?

 

That read wrong. I meant the aforementioned ghastly public bathroom, which is located in the stairwell. But since there was no running water it pretty much amounts to the same thing I suppose.

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So you took a dump in the stairwell of the building you live in?

It's so disgusting and it's the American guy doing it.

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I was tricked. She beat me at Chinese checkers so I figured a chick has to be pretty smart to do that to me. Plus she was really cute too.

 

Or, as she calls it, "Chinese".

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, I think I screwed that up. :huh:

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Aren't you too fat to walk up and down 30 flights of stairs

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Aren't you too fat to walk up and down 30 flights of stairs

No. It sucked, and I was winded as a mother focker after, but I made it just fine. Carried 20kg of suitcase down, climbed a six foot fence, and went back up.

 

Christ, I'm not that damn bad.

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No. It sucked, and I was winded as a mother focker after, but I made it just fine. Carried 20kg of suitcase down, climbed a six foot fence, and went back up.

 

Christ, I'm not that damn bad.

Can you not use metrics? We proved a long time ago, as a nation, we either can't or won't convert. Thank you.

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Can you not use metrics? We proved a long time ago, as a nation, we either can't or won't convert. Thank you.

He actually just mixed them. Used kg to describe weight yet used feet to describe height.

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He actually just mixed them. Used kg to describe weight yet used feet to describe height.

I used kg to describe weight because we weighed the suitcase, to ensure it was under the 20kg airline weight limit. I'm to lazy to convert it to imperial.

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I used kg to describe weight because we weighed the suitcase, to ensure it was under the 20kg airline weight limit. I'm to lazy to convert it to imperial.

lol I'm just busting your balls. Just found it funny when he mentioned metrics and you had mixed he two

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So you live in a sh!thole......

Again... there is a public toilet in the stairwell downstairs.

 

The development I live in has ten 35 story buildings, arranged around a courtyard, which has badminton courts, a pool, playgrounds, etc.

 

There are bathrooms on the ground floor for people using the little park.

 

But since there was no running water, and it was a squat toilet, I basically just shat in a bowl. I'm sure maintenance will take care of it. That bathroom is disgusting. I'm pretty sure it's where Ebola began.

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lol I'm just busting your balls. Just found it funny when he mentioned metrics and you had mixed he two

Yeah. I'm still sketchy on the metric system honestly. I have a pretty good idea on what a kilometer is vs. a mile. I can more or less conceptualize kg vs. lb. Celsius vs. farenheit I've got down.

 

But meter and centimeters? Fock that noise. Feet and inches please.

 

And yeah, our system is really stupid actually. Wish we had switched a long time ago.

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Yeah. I'm still sketchy on the metric system honestly. I have a pretty good idea on what a kilometer is vs. a mile. I can more or less conceptualize kg vs. lb. Celsius vs. farenheit I've got down.

 

But meter and centimeters? Fock that noise. Feet and inches please.

 

And yeah, our system is really stupid actually. Wish we had switched a long time ago.

The easiest way to deal with that is to treat it the same way we did with the imperial system growing up.

 

Think about it. think about it. Just picture certain sort of landmarks if you will. 70 degrees is c** 70 degrees is comfortable? So find the equivalent. 21 Celsius. Think about how many centimeters your foot is or how many kilos a bag of flour is or how tall you are or how much you weigh. And then work your way up and down from there.

 

Beats the crap out of trying to do some kind of digital math conversion in your head.

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