supermike80 1,282 Posted April 20, 2017 No wonder there are so many forest fires. Only I can prevent them. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,170 Posted April 21, 2017 2 chicks 1 bar of soap Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,541 Posted April 21, 2017 How did that hair get up there? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 Every year we celebrate the passing of our birthday without knowing the passing of our day of death Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 This conditioner is like lube. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 Crowd funding is nothing more than electronic panhandling Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardcore troubadour 12,552 Posted April 21, 2017 The real Chinese national religion is superstition. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,170 Posted April 21, 2017 how come I wake up every day, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work.... everything in my life is the same? Trump is president and my world hasn't been turned upside down. I don't understand. There were supposed to be wild animals on the streets, people eating people, fire everywhere.... Did snowflakes overreact? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,143 Posted April 21, 2017 I wish I was a little bit taller. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,143 Posted April 21, 2017 Who let the dogs out? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewbieJr 540 Posted April 21, 2017 how come I wake up every day, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work.... everything in my life is the same? Trump is president and my world hasn't been turned upside down. I don't understand. There were supposed to be wild animals on the streets, people eating people, fire everywhere.... Did snowflakes overreact? You're not paying attention. Obamacare is gone, Mexico paid for a wall, and ISIS has been destroyed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cloaca du jour 2,064 Posted April 21, 2017 Elevators smell different to midgets 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 In 2020, 420 will be a month long Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 I'm immortal until proven otherwise Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 You can't lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't return, it's a normal pigeon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 Technically you can go without food for the rest of your life. Â That and every time you eat or drink you're literally saving your own life Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 If we ever go to war with aliens, Google Earth will be their best reconnaissance tool Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 When someone says that they wish people were more like dogs what they're really saying is that they want you to sniff their ass. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
listen2me 23 1,529 Posted April 21, 2017 I could go hotter Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted April 21, 2017 If 9/11 happened 2 months earlier it would have seriously ruined the 7/11 chain Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 If you ever come across a woman who says that's the best thing since sliced bread, marry her, because she should be pretty easy to please. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mmmmm...beer 691 Posted April 21, 2017 Wait... did I already wash my ass? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,902 Posted April 21, 2017 Fat shaming happens every time you make that first step into that enclosed structure surrounded by glass or ear rings that hold up mermaid bedding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 If someone starts a knock knock joke it's fun to reply, stay out, I'm masturbating. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 917 Posted April 21, 2017 Why does my 6 year old need to sh!t every time I take a shower? I need a bigger house. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,940 Posted April 21, 2017 Why does my wife always walk in while I'm scrubbing my a ss? Â Couldn't she just once walk in while I'm chubbed up, washing my hair, flexing my guns and sucking in my gut? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iam90sbaby 2,118 Posted April 21, 2017 Our pets are the 1% of the animal world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,143 Posted April 21, 2017 Our pets are the 1% of the animal world. It's much, much less than 1%. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
patweisers44 696 Posted April 21, 2017 I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,992 Posted April 21, 2017 I'm craving bbq for lunch, but I was also sort of already planning on having it for dinner... So what do I get for lunch then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
patweisers44 696 Posted April 21, 2017 I'm craving bbq for lunch, but I was also sort of already planning on having it for dinner... So what do I get for lunch then? Lunch - Brisket Dinner - Ribs Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
parrot 789 Posted April 21, 2017 I really don't like big butts and I can deny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 When admiring their well endowed brethren do horses think That dude is hung like an elephant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,992 Posted April 21, 2017 When admiring their well endowed brethren do horses think That dude is hung like an elephant. Do chicks really want to fock dudes who are hung like horses, I mean really? And if they do, do you really want to fock them? I mean seriously, what in the hell have they been doing? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,940 Posted April 21, 2017 I'm craving bbq for lunch, but I was also sort of already planning on having it for dinner... So what do I get for lunch then? I'm starving, and there isn't a decent BBQ place within 1000 miles of here. I miss Texas. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 Why do the women on Viagra and Cialis commercials always look so happy? Everyone knows that if her man really had an erection for 4 hours that b1tch is gonna be pissed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,992 Posted April 21, 2017 Why do the women on Viagra and Cialis commercials always look so happy? Everyone knows that if her man really had an erection for 4 hours that b1tch is gonna be pissed. Why do they always use chicks that are Viagra proof? Not many look like that at their age, they are crazy hot.. They should use out of shape, tore up women for those commercials - that's when you need a Viagra. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meglamaniac 380 Posted April 21, 2017 Who let the dogs out? Â https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/55321611c64defa8b2291d9dbee5fd472c1e647e8d43266623fc0f02b57ae45c.jpg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted April 21, 2017 Why do they always use chicks that are Viagra proof? Not many look like that at their age, they are crazy hot.. They should use out of shape, tore up women for those commercials - that's when you need a Viagra. Right, and show us the REAL tubs. All full of pubes, soap scum, ring of rust stains. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
