Am I wrong/screwed here? (A little long)

[nzoner 936]

Complicated mess but here's a condensed version

 

Nine years ago sis in law and brother in law and my mrs(36C) approach me about being a 4th "investor" in a small lake lot with a small trailer on it.$60,000 total.I decline but do not even get involved enough to know how this is being set up etc. with my mrs.My first mistake.

 

Three years later my Uncle passes away and the mrs and I have an opportunity to go in half with my Aunt on their lake lot(in same cove) only this place is $60,000 for half as it's nicer,bigger lot etc. and so we do.

 

Mrs has already paid $20,000 of the third at original lot and so agrees with her sis that since we'll be paying for another place she won't have to pay upkeep,cove dues etc. on first lot but will keep $20,000 investment.

 

Three years later at dinner I bring up that we may need use of one of the bedrooms at original lot and sis in law gets an attitude,I let it go as the trip with friends fall through.Her reaction has me upset though as their golf cart is being stored in our garage and plugged into our electricity at new lot and they have a key to our new place as we're not there that much so mrs wanted family to be able to get in in case of emergency even though the caretaker has a key too.

 

I'm busy with running two businesses back here and rarely have time to get away but two years later I invite sis and bro in law to breakfast as I want to revisit this issue(mind you we've never used the original lot) since obtaining the second but the $20,000 is still there.Once again sis in law gets an attitude and cuts me off saying I have no voice in the matter as I declined the original offer.To keep peace I let it go yet again.

 

LAST WEEK.....I'm taking all my firework employees and their spouses to the lake(in two weeks) for our weekend to celebrate our 4th and tell mrs I'm going to call sis in law to let her know we need a room at original lot.mrs says she will text her and gets the reply that my bro-in-laws parents will be there and need two of the three rooms as they don't sleep together,so basically NO.

 

Final straw for me,mrs was in hospital and sis in law text to see how she is and I start a conversation about original lot,very diplomatic and calm trying to explain that what is the $20,000 good for if we can't use the place nor will it ever gain any value because of the agreement that my wife made that they take care of upkeep and dues so if they ever sell she only gets $20,000 back and she tells me once again I have no say so etc.

 

Anyhow according to the state law whether my name is on original agreement or not I still have a say because my mrs is on it and $20,000 of our money is in it.

 

Needless to say sh!t is starting to hit the fan and my mrs is upset because I thought I had her back and she just wants peace no matter the cost and I'm finally fock that it's the principle here and it's time to get this settled.My take is if you have $20,000 "invested" and will never get a greater return nor can use your original place it's not an investment,it's a one way benefit for the other party.

 

Lastly,I have told them I want the golf cart out of our garage and I want our keys back to second lot since we have never asked a dime for storage or electricity,to me it's what family should do just as family should let family use a room of original lot especially when $20,000 has been paid.

 

If you made it this far I really need some input,yes I'm a dumb ass for not getting involved sooner or from the get go but have been trying to keep family peace since and am done and want to show the absurdity of this whole mess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DankNuggs 305]

Tell them to buy you out or you will force the sale of the property to recoup your investment

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Never ever buy joint property. HTH

[mobb_deep 917]

Can I get your wifes digits? I have some investment opportunities to run by her.

[nzoner 936]

Can I get your wifes digits? I have some investment opportunities to run by her.

No doubt,this has been me the last couple of days discussing the matter with her

[wiffleball 4,635]

Well, given that there's a woman involved, it sounds like there's some sort of deeper issue that sister-in-law has. Or she's stupid and nuts. That's always a possibility. You might see if the wife or another family member can try to uncover what the sister-in-laws real issue is, but good luck with that.

 

So far, I agree with nugs. The 20,000 is dead money. Either get it back or get something for it. Damn sure you get that golf cart the out of your property. As well as the key back.

 

As far as the wife wanting to make peace. That's pretty typical. So you meet her halfway and say 'you're right this is only causing continual stress'. 'So let's get our $20,000 back and never do business with family again.' I know easier said than done.

 

My only original thought in the whole matter is this:

 

In the vein that this is family and your wife is trying to keep peace and it seems like nothing's going anywhere, you go to court to force mediation. That's a whole lot better and hell of a lot cheaper than litigation. And that way, all the related parties are effectively removed from the decision-making process. You lay out your case, they let their case whoever the bad guy is it's going to be the mediator.

 

Given everything you've laid out, mediation really is the key here. You may not even have to force mediation. You can look up mediators on the internet in your area. And they can walk you through how the process works.

 

But that's got to be the best route. Letting it Fester won't help. At least your version of events, sister-in-law isn't being reasonable. There's no wiggle room there. So either you write off the $20,000 (which you will never ever emotionally write off ) , or you go mediation, or you go full-on litigation and honest to God any decent judge is going to first recommend mediation anyway.

 

GL

[wiffleball 4,635]

How's the wife by the way?

[fandandy 3,311]

What NV said. Too late now but lesson learned. My grandparents had a nice little cabin on a lake and after passing left it to my dad and his brother. My uncle is an awesome dude but he's a fkn pig and every time anyone from our family went to use it it was just dirty, gross. Finally my dad basically forced him to either buy him out or sell, which they did.

 

Also, your sister in law sounds like a real ######. I wouldn't be too concerned trying to keep peace with her.

[nzoner 936]

How's the wife by the way?

She got released Saturday afternoon,I'm sure all this sh!t was partially to blame,her BP was 52/49 when I got her to emergency room on Thursday,thanks for asking.

 

BTW on this mediation,what if I take that route and they refuse to go,time to lawyer up?

[nzoner 936]

Also, your sister in law sounds like a real ######. I wouldn't be too concerned trying to keep peace with her.

It's not her I'm concerned about it's my mrs,she's loyal to a fault and has a heart the size of the grand canyon and she's stuck square in the middle of this mess.

[bandrus1 413]

Never ever buy joint property. HTH

The end

[5-Points 2,725]

Your SIL sounds like a ######. If I were you I would definitely not allow her to store the golf cart in the garage unless they start renting the space. Tell her she can rent the space indefinitely for $20 grand.

[Strike 3,956]

Not sure your relationship to all these people. Is the SIL your wifes sister? If so, I'd make sure your wife is in good health before proceeding. You don't want to unnecessarily upset her if she's ill. I hope she is doing better. Assuming you don't have to worry about that, I'd tell the SIL to f herself and either offer something of value for your investment or buy you out. Maybe send it in a letter. Sounds like she's not the most rational person to try to discuss the issue with. And I'd note that if necessary you'll retain an attorney to recoup your investment, which would cost everyone money they don't want to spend.

 

And this is why I try not to deal with friends and family wrt money/business. Too much potential for this type of sh*t.

[cmh6476 750]

can you shoot a bottle rocket at their place from yours?

[wiffleball 4,635]

Have you reviewed the initial documents executed between family and wife?

 

Were any amended or additional documents created when the ad hoc agreement was made afterward?

[wiffleball 4,635]

At an absolute minimum you would be owed and right to demand (again at an absolute minimum) a pro rata share of any appreciation in value if first lot is ever sold.

 

Otherwise, like you said, it's not an investment. It's a $20,000 gift.

[nzoner 936]

Not sure your relationship to all these people. Is the SIL your wifes sister? If so, I'd make sure your wife is in good health before proceeding. You don't want to unnecessarily upset her if she's ill. I hope she is doing better. Assuming you don't have to worry about that, I'd tell the SIL to f herself and either offer something of value for your investment or buy you out. Maybe send it in a letter. Sounds like she's not the most rational person to try to discuss the issue with. And I'd note that if necessary you'll retain an attorney to recoup your investment, which would cost everyone money they don't want to spend.

 

And this is why I try not to deal with friends and family wrt money/business. Too much potential for this type of sh*t.

Yes,wife's lil sis and I'm not so sure all this sh!t isn't partially to blame for her most recent trip to hospital.Speaking of which she's an hour away and her big sis has been in the hospital twice in the last six weeks without one personal visit just calls and yet she cares SO MUCH.........

[nzoner 936]

Have you reviewed the initial documents executed between family and wife?

 

Were any amended or additional documents created when the ad hoc agreement was made afterward?

No and according to mrs the 2nd part,not being responsible for dues,taxes and upkeep was verbal

[wiffleball 4,635]

What's your relationship with the brother-in-law? I know, no sane man is going to get between the wife and an in-law, but you might at least be able to get a better feel for what her thought process is.

[fandandy 3,311]

It's not her I'm concerned about it's my mrs,she's loyal to a fault and has a heart the size of the grand canyon and she's stuck square in the middle of this mess.

God bless your wife but she needs to not be walked on by this sister of hers. Twenty grand to keep the peace? Seems pricey to me. That's the choice you gotta make though.

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

People are selfish dlck holes wirh this stuff. I cant stand it. When a parent dies there often is one low life sibling who is so greedy that they want to 100% screw over the other siblings so that they get more. Fvck scum bags like that

[wiffleball 4,635]

It's not her I'm concerned about it's my mrs,she's loyal to a fault and has a heart the size of the grand canyon and she's stuck square in the middle of this mess.

... which, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, you push for mediation.

 

Look:

1. We love you guys. You know my wife loves you especially.

 

2. We certainly don't want money to come between us. And I don't want any more stress on my wife and I know you don't want anymore stress in her either.

 

3. But we simply don't have $20,000 to just drop in a hole in the ground.

 

4. None of us wants to do something as Extreme as litigation. So let's let a third-party listen to both sides and make a determination.

[wiffleball 4,635]

What state are you in? Most likely, there are nonprofits that will help walk you through mediation protocols and even recommend mediators.

[nzoner 936]

What's your relationship with the brother-in-law? I know, no sane man is going to get between the wife and an in-law, but you might at least be able to get a better feel for what her thought process is.

Not good he's as tight as they come i.e. does not run AC at original lot,no cable/Netflix,no internet and with me not having cameras at my place I have to wonder if my place is being used for those comforts since I'm rarely there,thus I want the keys back.

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Cigarette, oily rags in garage/basement...............take your share of insurance check and invest in heroin and asian hookas.

[nzoner 936]

... which, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, you push for mediation.

 

Look:

1. We love you guys. You know my wife loves you especially.

 

2. We certainly don't want money to come between us. And I don't want any more stress on my wife and I know you don't want anymore stress in her either.

 

3. But we simply don't have $20,000 to just drop in a hole in the ground.

 

4. None of us wants to do something as Extreme as litigation. So let's let a third-party listen to both sides and make a determination.

This is pretty much to a tee what my texts say minus any talk of litigation etc.

[nzoner 936]

What state are you in? Most likely, there are nonprofits that will help walk you through mediation protocols and even recommend mediators.

Primary residence Missouri,there's Kansas lake lot in Oklahoma

[wiffleball 4,635]

Have we determined sister-in-laws can size?

[NorthernVike 2,080]

can you shoot a bottle rocket at their place from yours?

[wiffleball 4,635]

Primary residence Missouri,there's Kansas lake lot in Oklahoma

Huh?

 

Anybody else follow that last part?

[nzoner 936]

Huh?

 

Anybody else follow that last part?

Sorry

 

Us-Missouri

 

Them-Kansas

 

Lake Lot-Oklahoma

[nzoner 936]

can you shoot a bottle rocket at their place from yours?

Unfortunately no but if so I was thinking more like one of my 210 shot roman candles

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Sorry

 

Us-Missouri

 

Them-Kansas

 

Lake Lot-Oklahoma

Damm. I thought you were focking with him.

[wiffleball 4,635]

https://www.mediate.com/articles/HildrethJ5.cfm

[TimmySmith 2,782]

If you (wife) own a 3rd, then isn't the 3rd bedroom always yours unless you work a deal?

[nzoner 936]

If you (wife) own a 3rd, then isn't the 3rd bedroom always yours unless you work a deal?

One would think so but BIL parents have all but moved in and can't sleep together so they use two bedrooms and as I told SIL on text they don't have a penny invested in the place.

[Kanil 519]

If you're in for 1/3 of the original cost of the lot, you get 1/3 of the sale value when it ultimately sells. I agree with the SIL though, if you're not paying the monthly dues, you should not get to use the place.

[dain11279 927]

Cigarette, oily rags in garage/basement...............take your share of insurance check and invest in heroin and asian hookas.

 

 

[porkbutt 861]

wait you have key to orig lot? why are you asking anyone? just go and squat/stay there whenever you need it. i wouldn't ask anyone sh;t.

[nzoner 936]

If you're in for 1/3 of the original cost of the lot, you get 1/3 of the sale value when it ultimately sells. I agree with the SIL though, if you're not paying the monthly dues, you should not get to use the place.

No SIL by my understanding is saying so far they(two of them)have put $25,000 into the place(new roof,deck,dues,taxes,upkeep) so if it ever sells my wife gets $20,000 back not a dime more and yet has no say so on needing her room.My take then is IT'S NOT AN INVESTMENT it's a one way benefit for them and they need to buy her out now.