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cbfalcon

State of the league with 2 weeks (3 games) to go

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5 teams are essentially in, and all 5 are alive for a bye.

 

9-2: The Die Nasty El Padrino - In all honesty, this has been a failure of a season thus far. Injuries, shabby point totals, games undecided by 3pm on Sunday, a lack of cocaine cash won, etc. I keep thinking this must be what Jesus felt like when the mexicans started throwing rocks at him while he hung from the tree. Yet where Jesus failed, I'm still here on top of the league having sex with your girlfriends. But the bad guys that you all root so loudly against, the dirty 4th and Inches, await me twice in these last 2 weeks. A split should be good for a bye, as the Neckbeards are my other week 13 opponent, and we can all agree that's a gimme.

 

8-3: 4th and 4 Inches - Who does this guy think he is challenging me continually? Second rate 37 year old staters like Frank Gore, Chris Johnson, DeAngelo Williams, and Miles Austin should not be hanging. I will credit him for owning me on the Eifert and Yeldon for Graham trade. I should have stuck with my scouting department that ingeniously targeted Eifert, but instead I fell for the brand name.

 

7-4: Romosexuals - I respect the quick rebuild, helped along by Ed's silliness of course. And a Romo, Miller, Julio, Fitz core is scary in a one game playoff.

 

7-4: Iron Fisting Dakota Skye: Yes, I predicted 2-12 for this franchise. I admit that. But let me ask you this. Did I get it wrong, or did we all realize how badly his team sucked and just not put in our best efforts the week's we played him? We will likely never know.

 

7-4: Kunts: One on hand, as a multiple time league champion, Banana Kunt is the only other owner in this league I have any respect for. On the other hand, he isn't as funny as he used to be. Clearly past his prime.

 

_________

 

Who will get the last spot based on points?

 

1374 pts: Sweater Meats- I don't really pay attention to who owns who until you've earned my respect via title, but I'm thinking this is the narc's team. If so, he should play to his strengths and befriend the owners currently below him. Then after earning their trust, right before the playoffs he can have his cronie coworkers bust down the doors to this message board and take a few teams out, probably due to planted evidence.

 

1374 pts: Woodpeckers- Easily the biggest jerk in the league. Everyone agrees. Thus it's hard to imagine guys like Darren McFadden continuing to put out max effort for him.

 

1344 pts: Suspended Edjr's- He should stay suspended. His team performs better when he isn't in here making unfunny jokes. Why? Well once we forget about Ed's suckiness, we let up. Once he reminds us, we destroy him.

 

1338 pts: Neckbeards- I want to talk about how badly this team sucks, but in truth I know nothing about his team or the guy that owns it. It would be like critiquing the extras in a movie.

 

1277 pts: Kat Fancy- In an ironic twist, it's Gypsy's half of the team that does the sucking. Whereas Sucks half of the team handles the swallowing.

 

1228 pts: PoColts - The only thing that scores less than this team is Gary himself. But in fairness, he has no legs. Or money. Or charisma. Or looks.

 

1054 pts: The Temp - So devoid of talent along with no concept of the fact that even top 5 draft picks only turn into FF starters 1/3 of the time. But his confidence in his suckiness provides humor, as opposed to someone like Gary that acknowledges his permanent bottom feeder status.

 

__________

 

So when we break it all down as well as I have here, it looks like another title for your Die Nasty El Padrino. And that's good. Because let's face it, this board has sucked this season. Why? That's what happens when someone like Pat wins a title. Boredom, disinterest, indifference, and overall apathy. I gave him his shot to lead, and he put us all to sleep. So for all that love Die Nasty football, cheer me on so that I can elevate this league back to where it belongs.

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I think I got a good shot this year. Even without Kelvin Benjamin, my WR core is so deep I leave 15 points on the bench any given week. RB is solid and Romo sets up nicely for the playoffs. Only question mark is TE, but Delanie has been holding it down.

 

4th and 9 and Dienasty El Dooshes got a good chance too.

 

LOL at the Gary quote. :first:

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7-4: Iron Fisting Dakota Skye: Yes, I predicted 2-12 for this franchise. I admit that. But let me ask you this. Did I get it wrong, or did we all realize how badly his team sucked and just not put in our best efforts the week's we played him? We will likely never know.

 

 

 

 

The 7-4 record could be explained by luck. But I am also 4th in the league in points. Thats not luck. I think the lesson here is that when you have a shitty team, you don't trade away draft picks to fill holes. You might trade away a draft pick that puts you over the top but if you are not a contender, you are STUPID to trade away your picks. You BUILD through the draft. I have drafted as well as anyone in this league over the past three years and my team is extremely young and still improving. The jury is still out on Winston but I am optimistic he will be a fine fantasy qb in the near future. I think David Johnson will eventually be the main back in Arizona and Thomas Rawls will be the main back in Seattle. I could use more depth at rb no doubt. My receivers have been banged up this year but they are a talented young group: Keenan Allen, Alshon Jeffrey, DeAndre Hopkins and Brandon Cooks. I have two talented young Tight ends: Jordan Reed and Austin Sefarian-Jenkins who have had trouble staying healthy this year but they have been terrific when they have suited up.

 

Every one of those guys I mentioned were drafted in my rookie drafts. The oldest is 25 (Jeffery) and the youngest is 21 (Winston).

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LOL @ at Jordan Reed having trouble staying healthy "this year". I don't think he's played 3 games in a row in his entire career.

 

Your team is on the upswing though. I thought it would be a battle between the beards and I. You came out of nowhere.

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Only question mark is TE, but Delanie has been holding it down.

 

 

 

Too bad the trade deadline passed. I was offering Barnidge around. The guy is money when McCown is at quarterback. He is the number 1 TE in the league since week 3. I would traded him for future picks.

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Quality stuff here. i give you a ton of grief sometimes for this stuff, but this one was pretty good. Happy Thanksgiving CBF.

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1228 pts: PoColts - The only thing that scores less than this team is Gary himself. But in fairness, he has no legs. Or money. Or charisma. Or looks.

 

 

:lol:

 

I have two friends trying to set me up with one of their mothers for the last 6 months. We(The mother and I) have been chatting and may eventually meet one day. I am just so slow and lost, I think I am focking it all up. lol

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:lol:

 

I have two friends trying to set me up with one of their mothers for the last 6 months. We(The mother and I) have been chatting and may eventually meet one day. I am just so slow and lost, I think I am focking it all up. lol

Maybe ask your friends to place her at the bottom of a hill?

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1374 pts: Woodpeckers- Easily the biggest jerk in the league. Everyone agrees. Thus it's hard to imagine guys like Darren McFadden continuing to put out max effort for him.

 

Hey FOCK you. I clown around on here just like you. I bro love each and every one of you. Merry fockin Xmas BEECH.

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Fock did my team go on a brutal loss run. It was all.. hey we're going to average you like 135... and then the last 4 games... we're going to fock you with 70 points. Good job you worthless bunch of fat teets.

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Looks like it's gonna be.

 

Blood Bombs

Romosexuals

 

Morning Wood, Kats or Kunts?

4th and 9

Med

Morning Wood or Kunts?

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Damn, I actually thought I might sneak in somehow this season. :overhead:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding, this was my best year to date in this league though. :bench:

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Just kidding, this was my best year to date in this league though. :bench:

Not saying much. you had the 2nd least amount of points in the league. And the team that scored the least amount might have been the worst team in fantasy football history - Multiple Scorgasms.

 

Somehow multiple scorgasms managed to win one game. How did they do it? By outscoring their opponent 63.35 to 62.70. That has to be a record for lowest score by a winning team in league history. 4 teams that week scored more than the combined total of that contest.

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Not saying much. you had the 2nd least amount of points in the league. And the team that scored the least amount might have been the worst team in fantasy football history - Multiple Scorgasms.

 

Somehow multiple scorgasms managed to win one game. How did they do it? By outscoring their opponent 63.35 to 62.70. That has to be a record for lowest score by a winning team in league history. 4 teams that week scored more than the combined total of that contest.

I pulled some shtt like that over the years too. In fact, one year, I did a SWEEP on CBFalcon.

 

 

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I pulled some shtt like that over the years too. In fact, one year, I did a SWEEP on CBFalcon.

 

 

 

The El Padrino has been afforded so much power, so many riches, and such an abundance of grace, that he feels it is his duty to give back to the less fortunate on occasion. I hope you enjoyed your gift amigo,

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The El Padrino has been afforded so much power, so many riches, and such an abundance of grace, that he feels it is his duty to give back to the less fortunate on occasion. I hope you enjoyed your gift amigo,

:doublethumbsup:

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I'm still trying to figure out all the possible scenarios.

 

To the best of my limited ability, I believe if Wood wins both games and Kunts loses both, he gets the third seed and Kunts gets the sixth. If Wood only wins 1 game and Kunts losses out then Kats would get the 3, and either Wood or Kunts would get the 6 spot for total points.

 

Basically Kats needs the doc and cripple to play spoiler, or they're not making it. Kunts and Wood would play round 1 in any other scenario. :unsure:

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I'm still trying to figure out all the possible scenarios.

 

To the best of my limited ability, I believe if Wood wins both games and Kunts loses both, he gets the third seed and Kunts gets the sixth. If Wood only wins 1 game and Kunts losses out then Kats would get the 3, and either Wood or Kunts would get the 6 spot for total points.

 

Basically Kats needs the doc and cripple to play spoiler, or they're not making it. Kunts and Wood would play round 1 in any other scenario. :unsure:

It looks like the Kats might have just meowed in thanks to the Kunts epic meltdown :banana:

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How does a team not make the playoffs with the top 2 QBs in FF and 2 of the top 6 RBs in FF?

It would take an owner that isn't nearly as funny as he used to be, and well past his prime to fock that up.

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How does a team not make the playoffs with the top 2 QBs in FF and 2 of the top 6 RBs in FF?

It would take an owner that isn't nearly as funny as he used to be, and well past his prime to fock that up.

 

Then you look at the opposite. How does a team without a QB in the top 14 and without a running back in the top 22 finish at 9-5 with the 4th most points in the league. It comes down to superior team management. :banana:

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Then you look at the opposite. How does a team without a QB in the top 14 and without a running back in the top 22 finish at 9-5 with the 4th most points in the league. It comes down to superior team management. :banana:

Meh, the kats tried to trade their way into supremecy, and in the beginning of the year we were the team to beat. (aside from Pablo and the Kunts) Injuries sucked us up (like they did for every other team to some degree or another) and the only reason we sneaked into the playoffs was because of a trade with Escobar and pure dumbass luck with bannana boy having bad luck.

 

I fully expect peckerwood to thump us next week. :(

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