Stand up wipers

[Herbivore 904]

I was thinking about this over the last week. Have you ever dropped the poop paper into your pants?

[drobeski 3,061]

How do they spread their cheeks to properly clean ?

Those weirdos must smell pretty focking awful

[edjr 5,547]

really fat focks have no choice but to wipe from the front :gag:

[Sho Nuff 719]

You thought about other dudes whiping their ass this weekend?

[fandandy 3,311]

really fat focks have no choice but to wipe from the front :gag:

You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes.

 

You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet.

[Reality 2,710]

The logistics of this one will never make sense to me.

 

There's no chance proper cleaning is happening while standing.

 

And.. Fat folks.. Standing, sitting, it's gotta be a bad deal no matter how you go about it.

[WhiteWonder 2,171]

i have to assume that sitters are actually doing a little squat of sorts? otherwise, how do you get under there? especially you fatties.

 

I stand. my ass is always over the toilet, ill wipe in both directions, then wet wipe.

[drobeski 3,061]

i have to assume that sitters are actually doing a little squat of sorts? otherwise, how do you get under there? especially you fatties.

 

I stand. my ass is always over the toilet, ill wipe in both directions, then wet wipe.

lean left

[Herbivore 904]

lean left

 

this guy gets it.

[posty 2,296]

You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing ###### all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes.

 

You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet.

*peek

[fandandy 3,311]

*peek

Thank you

[Reality 2,710]

lean left

 

Yup, maybe this requires more coordination then I am giving it credit for though.

[lickin_starfish 1,477]

Lean left, wipe right. Repeat 1,000 times until the brown streaks disappear.

[Herbivore 904]

You thought about other dudes whiping their ass this weekend?

 

yeah, somewhere in the middle of yet another slap fight you were having with the trump circle jerk crew

[WhiteWonder 2,171]

lean left

 

makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing.

[vuduchile 1,940]

 

makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing.

It doesnt.

 

Weve covered this before.

 

The best way is to raise up slightly and squat over the bowl with your legs still spread. Standing straight up causes the sh!t sandwich you dont want any part of.

 

Wipe front to back, then wet wipe as needed.

[Mookz 1,287]

lean left

 

That must have hurt to type.

[KSB2424 3,082]

Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position.

[edjr 5,547]

 

That must have hurt to type.

 

Not as much as trying on a turtle neck

[drobeski 3,061]

 

makes sense. I guess never was comfortable for me, but someone mentioned how standers could possibly get ass cheek spreadage to get fully cleaned and im not sure how leaning like that allows cheek spreading any better than standing.

the left cheek stays in place therefore opening up the runway as you lift the right side into there air. Think about it..the lean has to be enough to get your hand with paper in between the seat and the right cheek allowing enough room for the action required of wiping. That's a lot of spread.

Standing there can be no spread at all unless assisted.

Disgusting...standing wipers automatically have remaining crap in there.

[Herbivore 904]

the left cheek stays in place therefore opening up the runway as you lift the right side into there air. Think about it..the lean has to be enough to get your hand with paper in between the seat and the right cheek allowing enough room for the action required of wiping. That's a lot of spread.

Standing there can be no spread at all unless assisted.

Disgusting...standing wipers automatically have remaining crap in there.

 

correct again! While it seems our stand up wipers are very diligent in getting all their crap, it must be more work. No one has addressed the paper drop potential hazard. Has anyone fallen over while stand wiping?

[tanatastic 2,061]

I stand, tried to sit many times but its just not thorough. Plus I use baby wipes with dry wipes alternate til my cornhole is so clean its ready for Newbie. Wet wipes are mandatory and you arent clean if you dont use them. Ive said this gem in other threads but Ill repeat it here...pretend you got poop on any other part of your body...would you clean it with just a dry wipe or would you use a wet?

[shotsup 831]

I had a big dude coworker years back and he fell off his roof and shattered his left arm and hand. Cast / brace the whole bit.

When I visited him I asked how is he doing and he said better but the worst part of it is he just can't teach himself to wipe his ass with his right hand.

I let that go. Didn't need more details.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,589]

I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point.

[drobeski 3,061]

I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point.

so you stand at home to make yourself feel manly ?

[edjr 5,547]

so you stand at home to make yourself feel manly ?

 

I ###### in the woods, once. Had a few too many fries and beers before golf.

 

I wouldn't call it standing. (i have a 1/2 roll of TP in the golf bag, it's in zip lock bag, ever have since that day) still haven't needed it

[fandandy 3,311]

I assume you sitters have never shite in the woods. All real men have at some point.

I have, but there's lots of things I do differently than when camping. For instance, at home I don't keep my food in a cooler or bathe in the river.

[edjr 5,547]

I have, but there's lots of things I do differently than when camping. For instance, at home I don't keep my food in a cooler or bathe in the river.

 

where do you get your wifi?

[cyclone24 1,804]

You guys wipe? Pfft...poosys.

 

Use that lavender scented soft ass shitt on your bleached aholes?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

You sit and wipe from the back? Rubbing ###### all up your back and around your body to dispose between your legs? The proper way is sitting while wiping back to front from the front. A quick peak and drop into the toilet. Repeat as necessary followed up with wet wipes.

 

You crazies are allowing way too many opportunities for the crap to be somewhere beside in the toilet.

 

I guess you don't have balls then.

[WhiteWonder 2,171]

Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position.

 

this. i dont stand striaght up

[fandandy 3,311]

Although this is like the third time we have had this conversation I'm still amazed there are so many cave people who crouch over the toilet to wipe their ass. So odd.

[edjr 5,547]

when I know it's going to snow over night or be really cold, I stand up my wipers

[edjr 5,547]

Well, you don't stand straight up, its more of a half stand, half squat position.

 

Like how your idol Lebron pisses

[tanatastic 2,061]

Although this is like the third time we have had this conversation I'm still amazed there are so many cave people who crouch over the toilet to wipe their ass. So odd.

When I stand, I’m facing the bowl and ass is pointed away from the toilet. I need full range to wipe and inspect.

[fandandy 3,311]

I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it.

[shotsup 831]

I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it.

Son thought it was a water fountain in his aunts house

[MDC 5,877]

Wouldnt standing force your butt cheeks together, squashing the sh1t residue between your cheeks like a sloppy tied pancake?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I bet the first time you guys saw a bidet you washed your hands in it.

 

The SuperDome has (had?) hand-washing stations in the middle of the bathrooms that many New England fans were pissing troughs like Fenway used to have when we were at the SB in 2002. I was shaking my head every time I went to take a leak that day.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,589]

 

The SuperDome has (had?) hand-washing stations in the middle of the bathrooms that many New England fans were pissing troughs like Fenway used to have when we were at the SB in 2002. I was shaking my head every time I went to take a leak that day.

B.S. New England trash knew what it was.