Ever get harassed by geese while playing golf?

[Djgb13 2,338]

Maybe his revenge is a LITTLE stop far...

 

https://www.facebook.com/BlueCollaredBaller/videos/1946123142080916/

[bandrus1 413]

What a man

[rholio 339]

Every time I play golf, so no, never.

[drobeski 3,061]

Going with the it's fake and he's an ass hole combo

[BunnysBastatrds 1,910]

Was playing a few years ago at a local muni. Every summer the course was filled with Canadian geese that would fly down here for the summer. Hundreds of them all along the course. They spent most of their days on the greens surrounded by water. The course greens keeper did nothing to shooo them away. There was geese sh!t on most of the greens. Cheap muni so you got what you pay for.

 

So one day I'm having a really bad round. Was walking with a pull cart in 98 degrees heat with high humidity. No cart girl. Beers are hot. Tee up on the 16th green. Was playing with these two black guys I hooked with on 9. As I'm about to go into my pre-shot routine, and one of the brothers yell "duck!!!!". I turn around and there's a Canadian goose that took flight from the water coming straight for my head.

 

I ducked as Jerome said. Fawking goose grazed my forehead, bounced of, and flew away. One of his feathers was in my hair. Had I not ducked, I would be going through concussion protocol.

 

Those brothers were laughing their ass off. Me: Should have yelled goose!!!

[NorthernVike 2,079]

Was playing a few years ago at a local muni. Every summer the course was filled with Canadian geese that would fly down here for the summer. Hundreds of them all along the course. They spent most of their days on the greens surrounded by water. The course greens keeper did nothing to shooo them away. There was geese sh!t on most of the greens. Cheap muni so you got what you pay for.

 

So one day I'm having a really bad round. Was walking with a pull cart in 98 degrees heat with high humidity. No cart girl. Beers are hot. Tee up on the 16th green. Was playing with these two black guys I hooked with on 9. As I'm about to go into my pre-shot routine, and one of the brothers yell "duck!!!!". I turn around and there's a Canadian goose that took flight from the water coming straight for my head.

 

I ducked as Jerome said. Fawking goose grazed my forehead, bounced of, and flew away. One of his feathers was in my hair. Had I not ducked, I would be going through concussion protocol.

 

Those brothers were laughing their ass off. Me: Should have yelled goose!!!

 

Pssssst I think you mean winter.

[Djgb13 2,338]

Going with the it's fake and he's an ass hole combo

Actually it's real and police are looking for the Guy apparently

[wiffleball 4,631]

We had this guy named Christos who kept chasing me around with Souvlaki and stealing our balls when we drove.

 

Damn Greeks.

[bandrus1 413]

Actually it's real and police are looking for the Guy apparently

Good,hope they are able to get him on some kind of federal migratory bird charge

[wiffleball 4,631]

We had a reflective building right next to a lake in Ohio. That led to us having a goose who declared war on his own reflection. That led to many damn near violent Goose attacks in the parking lot and the front door.

 

Stupid f****** creatures. And mean as hell. I don't understand why there's a law protecting those f******. I think you should be allowed to take a baseball bat to their heads anytime you want. Even if you just let the law lapse for one year those f****** would finally learn some fear of humans.

 

Geese are basically the equivalent of black lives matter protesters. Sure you're a lot smarter than they are, but God damn it's just not worth the trouble. But all loud and aggressive and s***. It's easier just to walk away from the bastards.

 

Quack Lives Matter.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,910]

Pssssst I think you mean winter.

I'm as backward as they come.

[mighty_thor 115]

i Hate those focken Canadian geese. Dumb motherfockers too. I live in the Chicago area. Youd figure those dumb mother fockers would fly south for the winter. No, instead they camp out in my driveway all winter because it gets a lot of sun and is the first area in my neighborhood that melts after it snows. My driveway used to fill up with massive amounts of goose poo. Id have to drive through that shiit and track it into my garage. Or else try and spray it off with the garden hose but the hose would be frozen or Id create a sheet of ice on the driveway. I bought a couple of plastic owls and continuously chased them off with a hockey stick but that one winter they were persistently there in my driveway. Luckily it was just a one year thing. They must have found someone else to terrorize the following winter.

[SUXBNME 1,322]

i Hate those focken Canadian geese. Dumb motherfockers too. I live in the Chicago area. Youd figure those dumb mother fockers would fly south for the winter. No, instead they camp out in my driveway all winter because it gets a lot of sun and is the first area in my neighborhood that melts after it snows. My driveway used to fill up with massive amounts of goose poo. Id have to drive through that shiit and track it into my garage. Or else try and spray it off with the garden hose but the hose would be frozen or Id create a sheet of ice on the driveway. I bought a couple of plastic owls and continuously chased them off with a hockey stick but that one winter they were persistently there in my driveway. Luckily it was just a one year thing. They must have found someone else to terrorize the following winter.

On the bolded, there is no such thing.

 

On the rest, funny as hell

[DankNuggs 305]

Played golf with a guy who flipped a cart chasing a pack of Canadian geese, took a sharp turn going down a hill

 

Actually one took a skulled driver to the head this spring, didnt turn out well

[Mookz 1,287]

We had a reflective building right next to a lake in Ohio. That led to us having a goose who declared war on his own reflection. That led to many damn near violent Goose attacks in the parking lot and the front door.

 

Stupid f****** creatures. And mean as hell. I don't understand why there's a law protecting those f******. I think you should be allowed to take a baseball bat to their heads anytime you want. Even if you just let the law lapse for one year those f****** would finally learn some fear of humans.

 

Geese are basically the equivalent of black lives matter protesters. Sure you're a lot smarter than they are, but God damn it's just not worth the trouble. But all loud and aggressive and s***. It's easier just to walk away from the bastards.

 

Quack Lives Matter.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I heard a couple of them call me honky.

[wiffleball 4,631]

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I heard a couple of them call me honky.

[kilroy69 993]

Not by geese. But certainly by Sand Hill cranes. Fockers look like brown storks and they love golf courses. When they have babies they get aggressive.

[edjr 5,547]

That's like asking if you hit a ball in the woods while golfing.

[dain11279 927]

Geese are mean mother fockers, especially if their babies are around. I'm not getting anywhere near them unless I have a golf club in my hand first.

[Mungwater 588]

[IMMensaMind 459]

That's like asking if you hit a ball in the woods while golfing.

 

[edjr 5,547]

 

 

 

awesome.

 

 

here it is if people don't want to go to youtube

 

[IMMensaMind 459]

awesome.

 

 

here it is if people don't want to go to youtube

 

 

Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

[parrot 789]

Years ago we had a flock of crows that would hang out on the outskirts of my home course and would snatch balls off the green. Unbeknownst to the golfers the crows would fly them into a nearby farmer's field and drop them over a rock pile, evidently thinking they were eggs. It was like an episode of X-Files when that farmer found 100 golf balls in a corner of his field one day.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

 

Besides intelligence?

[IMMensaMind 459]

Besides intelligence?

Congrats on one more useless post from you.

[edjr 5,547]

Thanks for the direct feed ed. I would prefer to post it like you did, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something on my iPad version of this site which stops me from posting in that format. What am I missing?

 

I never post from a phone or tablet. I am sure it has something to do with that.

 

The link you get on those is a different link because it's a mobile site

[IMMensaMind 459]

I never post from a phone or tablet. I am sure it has something to do with that.

 

The link you get on those is a different link because it's a mobile site

Yeah, that's what I figured. Thanks.

[KSB2424 3,082]

Dear MensaMind,

 

You might actually be funny and interesting if you didnt try so hard to impress everyone and flame with people in political threads. Maybe lighten up a bit, and stick around.

 

Yours truly,

 

The Bored

[frank 2,144]

Years ago we had a flock of crows that would hang out on the outskirts of my home course and would snatch balls off the green. Unbeknownst to the golfers the crows would fly them into a nearby farmer's field and drop them over a rock pile, evidently thinking they were eggs. It was like an episode of X-Files when that farmer found 100 golf balls in a corner of his field one day.

1. Murder of crows

2. Acting as if they were eggs does not equal thinking they were eggs.

[IMMensaMind 459]

Dear MensaMind,

You might actually be funny and interesting if you didnt try so hard to impress everyone and flame with people in political threads. Maybe lighten up a bit, and stick around.

Yours truly,

The Bored

I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?

[KSB2424 3,082]

I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?

Ill show you mine if you show me yours.

[edjr 5,547]

I'm wondering why you think you have the authority to suggest a thing to me. Do you have a badge of some sort?

 

Don't take it the wrong way.

 

KSB was giving you some constructive criticism. No malice meant.

[IMMensaMind 459]

Don't take it the wrong way.

 

KSB was giving you some constructive criticism. No malice meant.

I don't need it, and I don't find it constructive. I'm not going to change posting the way I post. If someone wants to try to argue that I'm wrong about something, they should try.

 

If they don't care about something that I DO care about, then they should stay out of the way. I have very strong views, and I didn't arrive at them cavalierly.

[KSB2424 3,082]

I have very strong views.

1. Whilst wiping after a poo. Sitting or standing?

2. Justin Timberlake. Talented or ghey?

3. Is a cheeseburger a sandwich?

4. Kate Upton. Uber hot or fat?

5. Toilet Paper, over or under?

6. IPAs. Delicious or overrated?

[IMMensaMind 459]

1. Whilst wiping after a poo. Sitting or standing?

I've already answered that.

 

2. Justin Timberlake. Talented or ghey?

This guy has done everything right. Uber talented - and a good golfer.

 

3. Is a cheeseburger a sandwich?

Nope. It's its own category.

 

4. Kate Upton. Uber hot or fat?

Hot.

 

5. Toilet Paper, over or under?

Over.

 

6. IPAs. Delicious or overrated?

Awesome.

[Cruzer 1,992]

Yes - I have.

 

 

Outside of armadillos, geese are the biggest pain in the ass, destructive fockers out there.

[parrot 789]

1. Murder of crows

2. Acting as if they were eggs does not equal thinking they were eggs.

 

1. True. Dang it. It's not everyday you get a legit reason to use "murder of crows".

2. Fock off, I said "evidently".

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Which is worse, geese or Weinstein?

[vuduchile 1,940]

Which is worse, geese or Weinstein?

Well. I've watched a goose shower and I didn't puke, or come.