In my massage place..

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Oh no.. its a guy. Hold me..

[Bier Meister 1,513]

did it move?

[cyclone24 1,814]

Fooooccckkk that.

[fandandy 3,311]

Was it extra when he massaged the inside of your ######?

 

b u t t h o l e

[dain11279 927]

Happy ending?

[Big Guy 1,400]

 

[supermike80 1,285]

I won't even let a guy cut my hair

 

Hangups

[5-Points 2,729]

Was it extra when he massaged the inside of your ######?

 

b u t t h o l e

I thought that's what he meant by massage "place".

[Big Guy 1,400]

I thought that's what he meant by massage "place".

 

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Wife and I went for couples massage. Her usually lady was there and then a dude.

 

Uhhhh, I get your usual woman. I'm not getting massaged by a dude

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Did he straighten out your kinks?

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Did he show you his puppet, Mr. Cranky?

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Welp.. he was super gay. Fellow Army vet though... not akward perse.. just a bit weird.

 

Never got a massage by a dude before. He got nice and deep.

[cyclone24 1,814]

Welp.. he was super gay. Fellow Army vet though... not akward perse.. just a bit weird.

 

Never got a massage by a dude before. He got nice and deep.

The key is not cumming right away.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Wife and I went for couples massage. Her usually lady was there and then a dude.

 

Uhhhh, I get your usual woman. I'm not getting massaged by a dude

Good move.

 

I'm sure she was also thrilled to have another man's hands all over her.

[shotsup 832]

Good move.

 

I'm sure she was also thrilled to have another man's hands all over her.

She was last night.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Zero chance I'd let a dude massage me. It's just awkward and why a man if you can get a woman? Just nah, ever.

[shotsup 832]

I don't even like massages.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,914]

Wifey got one last year and recommended I go to her. I get there and it's the biggest bull dyke I ever met. She told me she was a hottie. Me: Hurt me baby! Pam: You sure? Me: Yes. If I don't crawl out of here, you've failed. So she lit a soothing candle. Played some crappie ocean sounds, and beat the fawk out of me. Had a boner the entire ride. And never winced one time. Pam: I figured you a poosay.Drink lots of water. I can smell the alcohol coming from your pores.

 

I went home and cried in the fetal position all night rocking back and forth.

[IGotWorms 3,312]

It's always the macho types that surprise you by going ghey

[shotsup 832]

Was this Pam from Archer ??

[mmmmm...beer 691]

It's always the macho types that surprise you by going ghey

Bearding

[wiffleball 4,640]

Got a chair massage from a dude once.

 

 

Wait, that was a lap dance.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

My back was killing me today. My new bed sucks ass.

 

So I went looking for a massage. There is a place in my building, so I tried it.

 

I usually go to spa type places with a bevy of tiny Asian women. This was a traditional Chinese medicine place. And the only masseuse was a dude.

 

Holy sh!t. The CIA should hire that guy to interrogate people. He would find pressure points, and jab them, making half my body go limp or twitch. He put some oil on my back... that stuff is Ben Gay's big crazy brother. It was like napalm.

 

Then grabbed my head and wrenched it around, chiropractor style.

 

Not pleasant. But effective. Feel much better now.

[wiffleball 4,640]

I've got one spot around my left shoulder blade. I swear, I need whoever is doing it to literally put all of their weight and stack their hands on top of each other and just Crush that f*****. You can hear all sorts of cracking and popping but as bad as it hurts if they do it right it feels so much better afterwards..

 

I really want to find one of those places where they literally walk on your back. I think that would be spectacular.

[fandandy 3,311]

I've got one spot around my left shoulder blade. I swear, I need whoever is doing it to literally put all of their weight and stack their hands on top of each other and just Crush that f*****. You can hear all sorts of cracking and popping but as bad as it hurts if they do it right it feels so much better afterwards..

 

I really want to find one of those places where they literally walk on your back. I think that would be spectacular.

Black Friday, Walmart, any inner city.

[mmmmm...beer 691]

He actually wasn't as good as I was hoping. This place is a holistic chyropractic place. They always do some goofy massage sh!t. Every one wants to go through my armpit to hit behind my scapula. Someofafuckingbitch does that hurt. I keep having to tell them... nope. Stay outta there...

 

Did all sorts of pec and neck stuff.. cupping (which may work for Phelps but has never done sh!t for me the several times I've had it done), and finally about 10-15 mins on my traps and scaps which is what I told him I wanted worked on. Won't be seeing Dave again.

[fandandy 3,311]

He actually wasn't as good as I was hoping. This place is a holistic chyropractic place. They always do some goofy massage sh!t. Every one wants to go through my armpit to hit behind my scapula. Someofafuckingbitch does that hurt. I keep having to tell them... nope. Stay outta there...

 

Did all sorts of pec and neck stuff.. cupping (which may work for Phelps but has never done sh!t for me the several times I've had it done), and finally about 10-15 mins on my traps and scaps which is what I told him I wanted worked on. Won't be seeing Dave again.

Prolly some nerve they're looking to pinch to knock you out and have their way with you.

[edjr 5,563]

I've had 1 career massage.

 

Was from some beastly woman that made me never want to go back

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Prolly some nerve they're looking to pinch to knock you out and have their way with you.

They were trying to Spock me?!

[Bier Meister 1,513]

my major area of pain is my lower left back (kind of in the hip). it feels compressed. i like when they "space it out" or push my hip in opposite directions. i think it would benefit from inversion therapy. i would love to find someone that could do a combo of stretching and massage.

[Bier Meister 1,513]

They were trying to Spock me?!

 

 

yeah...i'm going to let that go and not hit urban dictionary

[NorthernVike 2,080]

 

 

yeah...i'm going to let that go and not hit urban dictionary

 

 

I will...

 

 

Spock Shockunknown

A spock shock is performed by seperating the middle and ring finger while keeping the index and middle fingers together, as well as the ring and pinky fingers. After proper finger configuration, one inserts the the index/middle pair into the vagina while simultaneously inserting the ring/pinky pair into the anus. With a succusfull "spock shock", you should open of new world of pleasure for your mate, allowing her to live long... and prosper.

[DankNuggs 305]

my major area of pain is my lower left back (kind of in the hip). it feels compressed. i like when they "space it out" or push my hip in opposite directions. i think it would benefit from inversion therapy. i would love to find someone that could do a combo of stretching and massage.

Buy an inversion table, buddy of mine has a bad back and got one and says it's fantastic

[dain11279 927]

I used to have to go a male chiropractor when I was a kid and I thought that was ghey. Male massages though?

[Reality 2,710]

 

 

 

I will...

 

 

Spock Shockunknown

A spock shock is performed by seperating the middle and ring finger while keeping the index and middle fingers together, as well as the ring and pinky fingers. After proper finger configuration, one inserts the the index/middle pair into the vagina while simultaneously inserting the ring/pinky pair into the anus. With a succusfull "spock shock", you should open of new world of pleasure for your mate, allowing her to live long... and prosper.

 

 

 

I thought that was simply known as "The Shocker" (2 in the pink one in the stink)?

 

[5-Points 2,729]

Buy an inversion table, buddy of mine has a bad back and got one and says it's fantastic

Secondered.

[Djgb13 2,338]

Love massages but no way in hell im letting a dude massage me. Sorry but don't want some guy rubbing me down. Haircut? Yea I'll let a guy cut my hair. Hell lots of times the guy cuts it better than the girls. Haven't found a place around here though that has a good barber. SA has a chain called Diesel that is an awesome haircut place. Got all these old movie and cd album posters on the walls, have classic arcade games that are free to play while you wait like Pacman or space invaders, you get a free beer, water, or soda to drink while you wait, and of course tvs on in there as well as some good classic rock playing throughout. And hot girls cutting your hair. Really miss that place

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

I will never understand why someone wouldn't like a massage, or even gheyer, why someone would never even get one in the first place. Puuuussy

[patweisers44 697]

 

 

I thought that was simply known as "The Shocker" (2 in the pink one in the stink)?

 

its two in the pink two in the stink....The SPOCKER