Marital Finances

[Kanil 519]

We combined when my son was born and we went to one income. He's in school now and she's working again but it's just been easier to keep it at one account.

[Herbivore 904]

Separate and Joint checking accounts and credit cards. We put equal money into the joint each month, and pay all bills out of there. We really only do the checking set up to help budget. I grew up poor, and was an acct. I have a hard time buying anything for myself. The mrs. thinks spend now, pay later. But she makes good money and can do whatever she wants. With the credit cards, we have both traveled for work, and did before we got married so some of that is about Points and Status, like I'm nearly Gold for life at Marriott. I imagine we would trim that down when I get off the road.

[giraldi02 470]

It seems that some people are confusing separate accounts with hidden money. For some people, I think it's easier for money management if it's separated. My wife and I devised an effective way to save money by "living paycheck to paycheck" and putting all extra money into a joint savings account each payday. Whatever was leftover from the last check goes into savings. To each their own...

[vuduchile 1,940]

It seems that some people are confusing separate accounts with hidden money. For some people, I think it's easier for money management if it's separated. My wife and I devised an effective way to save money by "living paycheck to paycheck" and putting all extra money into a joint savings account each payday. Whatever was leftover from the last check goes into savings. To each their own...

Correct. My wife has authorization to access my account and vice versa.

[parrot 789]

It seems that some people are confusing separate accounts with hidden money. For some people, I think it's easier for money management if it's separated. My wife and I devised an effective way to save money by "living paycheck to paycheck" and putting all extra money into a joint savings account each payday. Whatever was leftover from the last check goes into savings. To each their own...

 

I guess the part I don't get is how multiple accounts makes anything "easier". It seems like it would do the opposite. One account, you know exactly what's there at a glance. You pay all the bills, then you know exactly what's left. I just don't see where there's any utility in multiple checking accounts. I do like the socking it away in savings at the end of the month though.

[Bert 1,087]

 

I guess the part I don't get is how multiple accounts makes anything "easier". It seems like it would do the opposite. One account, you know exactly what's there at a glance. You pay all the bills, then you know exactly what's left. I just don't see where there's any utility in multiple checking accounts. I do like the socking it away in savings at the end of the month though.

 

It eliminates arguments about money spent on "hobbies". We had 3 checking accounts hers, mine and a common account. Every year we calculate how much all the common bills will be and we put a % of our checks in the common account to cover those expenses. What is left is yours to spend. No biotching about how much I spend on golf, vegas, fishing, etc. No biotching about how much she spends on Creative Memories and geneology crap.

[giraldi02 470]

 

I guess the part I don't get is how multiple accounts makes anything "easier". It seems like it would do the opposite. One account, you know exactly what's there at a glance. You pay all the bills, then you know exactly what's left. I just don't see where there's any utility in multiple checking accounts. I do like the socking it away in savings at the end of the month though.

Mainly it's just a form of micro-management. She pays for ___, ____, and ___ bills. I pay for the others. We could easily just combine into one and likely we wouldn't ever notice. But...if ain't broke...

[lickin_starfish 1,477]

One joint checking, and one joint savings.

 

I don't understand how two people can commit a lifetime to each other, but be selfish with their money. It does not compute.

[parrot 789]

It eliminates arguments about money spent on "hobbies". We had 3 checking accounts hers, mine and a common account. Every year we calculate how much all the common bills will be and we put a % of our checks in the common account to cover those expenses. What is left is yours to spend. No biotching about how much I spend on golf, vegas, fishing, etc. No biotching about how much she spends on Creative Memories and geneology crap.

 

That I can see.

[lickin_starfish 1,477]

My co-worker has her 30+ year old daughter's paycheck direct-deposited into my co-worker's account. Her daughter is married with children, and has to go to her mother for allowance.

 

If I was the husband, that sh*t wouldn't fly.

[mobb_deep 917]

One joint checking, and one joint savings.

 

I don't understand how two people can commit a lifetime to each other, but be selfish with their money. It does not compute.

 

In my situation (separate checking/joint savings), I just don't like how my wife tracks finances. I allow myself "x" amount for recreation, "x" amount for groceries, etc. I deal almost exclusively in cash and keep a spreadsheet tracking all my day to day expenses. My wife just uses her card for everything from a pack of gum to getting her nails done, and really has no idea how much she spends, until she logs into her bank account and sees she has no money left. She's good with sticking money into our savings account every paycheck, but that's the extent of her financial planning.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Separate everything, we just chase quick pay any money back and forth. Joint money is something sitcoms tell women they need, I don't see a point.

[Thornton Melon 542]

All joint checking/savings. Just easier to keep track of sh!t that way.

[penultimatestraw 473]

Yeah, I don't really understand the two checking account thing. We have one account, she generally carries the checkbook and we both have debit cards.

Most of our bills are electronic, which I pay. We each pay our respective credit cards. For the handful of other paper bills, whoever opens it first generally pays it. It isn't complicated at all.

 

Unless you're running a tight budget or don't trust your spouse, I don't know why joint accounts are necessary.

[penultimatestraw 473]

It seems that some people are confusing separate accounts with hidden money. For some people, I think it's easier for money management if it's separated. My wife and I devised an effective way to save money by "living paycheck to paycheck" and putting all extra money into a joint savings account each payday. Whatever was leftover from the last check goes into savings. To each their own...

 

This guy gets it.

[nzoner 936]

Joint checking

Separate Savings

1 joint checking for the direct mail business

She's also on my fireworks checking account(but she knows she cannot use any of that without asking me first)

[MDC 5,875]

Most of our bills are electronic, which I pay. We each pay our respective credit cards. For the handful of other paper bills, whoever opens it first generally pays it. It isn't complicated at all.

 

Unless you're running a tight budget or don't trust your spouse, I don't know why joint accounts are necessary.

Most of us, not being childless doctors, are not so loaded that we can afford to not have a handle on half the marital assets and to pay bills according to the honor system.

[parrot 789]

Most of our bills are electronic, which I pay. We each pay our respective credit cards. For the handful of other paper bills, whoever opens it first generally pays it. It isn't complicated at all.

 

Unless you're running a tight budget or don't trust your spouse, I don't know why joint accounts are necessary.

 

I didn't say anything was "necessary" or "complicated". Clearly any system can work and if it works for you more power to you. It just seems a little weird to me married people operating out of different accounts. I also don't see how it's "easier", but I also don't really give a fock.

[KSB2424 3,082]

I also prefer Vanilla ice cream over Chocolate.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

It eliminates arguments about money spent on "hobbies". We had 3 checking accounts hers, mine and a common account. Every year we calculate how much all the common bills will be and we put a % of our checks in the common account to cover those expenses. What is left is yours to spend. No biotching about how much I spend on golf, vegas, fishing, etc. No biotching about how much she spends on Creative Memories and geneology crap.

 

If she is spending money on stuff you don't agree with, then she is still spending your (collective) money. You are just blind to it.

 

We have one account. If I want to spend money, I spend money. If she wants to spend money, then she spends money. If the amounts make someone uncomfortable we talk about it.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

It seems that some people are confusing separate accounts with hidden money. For some people, I think it's easier for money management if it's separated. My wife and I devised an effective way to save money by "living paycheck to paycheck" and putting all extra money into a joint savings account each payday. Whatever was leftover from the last check goes into savings. To each their own...

You have to do all of that work because you are not disciplined enough to do it with a joint account. If that works for you, more power to you, but I think that it is unnecessary in my world.

 

We just have the money taken out of our joint account each month and it goes into investments. We also have money taken out that goes into the kids 529 plan. Don't have to think about it and it happens every month.

[nzoner 936]

 

 

 

If the amounts make someone uncomfortable we talk about it.

I try and talk about it and WWIII erupts.Don't get me wrong I let her handle that sh!t because frankly I don't have the time nor do I want to,but when she comes to me and starts telling me the business needs more sales and I question how much is being spent on Christmas,Birthday gifts etc. Boom goes the dynamite.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I try and talk about it and WWIII erupts.Don't get me wrong I let her handle that sh!t because frankly I don't have the time nor do I want to,but when she comes to me and starts telling me the business needs more sales and I question how much is being spent on Christmas,Birthday gifts etc. Boom goes the dynamite.

 

Sounds like you don't beat her enough or you don't give her a jolly good rogering periodically.

[jerryskids 5,165]

Looks like I struck a nerve with the people who haven't found an SO they can trust.

 

Also it seems like the tech/engineers here (PFB, Thornton, parrot, myself) all have joint accounts. I think there is a correlation with efficient systems design.

[patweisers44 697]

 

If she is spending money on stuff you don't agree with, then she is still spending your (collective) money. You are just blind to it.

 

We have one account. If I want to spend money, I spend money. If she wants to spend money, then she spends money. If the amounts make someone uncomfortable we talk about it.

You've obviously never seen Bert on a bender in Vegas.

[Bert 1,087]

You've obviously never seen Bert on a bender in Vegas.

[KSB2424 3,082]

Looks like I struck a nerve with the people who haven't found an SO they can trust.

 

Also it seems like the tech/engineers here (PFB, Thornton, parrot, myself) all have joint accounts. I think there is a correlation with efficient systems design.

 

Actually parrot is an accountant.

 

As is Bert and I work in Finance.

 

Either way the point is that no family dynamic is exactly alike. Some things work better for others for a variety of reasons, least of which has to do with "trusting your SO" .

 

Therefore brushing with such a broad stroke like you did and trying to connect dots that aren't there was, yeah, dumb. As accurately pointed out, having separate checking accounts actually requires more trust it can be easily argued. But that's neither here nor there.

 

Nobody said having a joint "everything" account was wrong. The point is there really isn't a wrong answer.

 

You like Chocolate, I like Vanilla.

[Bert 1,087]

Looks like I struck a nerve with the people who haven't found an SO they can trust.

 

Also it seems like the tech/engineers here (PFB, Thornton, parrot, myself) all have joint accounts. I think there is a correlation with efficient systems design.

Y'all fockers can never do anything on budget or on time. Proper segregation or income and expenses is the only way to go.

[jerryskids 5,165]

Y'all fockers can never do anything on budget or on time. Proper segregation or income and expenses is the only way to go.

I'm in sales now - fock your budget, just make my customer happy mkay?

[cmh6476 748]

do you guys even care what I have to say at this point?

[parrot 789]

do you guys even care what I have to say at this point?

 

What do you mean by "at this point"?

[giraldi02 470]

 

You have to do all of that work because you are not disciplined enough to do it with a joint account. If that works for you, more power to you, but I think that it is unnecessary in my world.

 

WTF are you talking about. "All that work"?

 

Our bills are paid automatically through electronic bill pay. Neither of us does anything different than one account.

 

Transfer to our joint savings account done with a click of a button. One more click than a joint account.

 

Man. It takes so much more discipline to click a button one fewer time

[cmh6476 748]

 

What do you mean by "at this point"?

this many responses in

[Brad GLuckman 518]

Looks like I struck a nerve with the people who haven't found an SO they can trust.

 

Also it seems like the tech/engineers here (PFB, Thornton, parrot, myself) all have joint accounts. I think there is a correlation with efficient systems design.

 

You have to be trolling, right? If not id love to hear an explanation of why joint checking account = "right one"

[frank 2,144]

I would never have a joint account. I would rather have to pay for everything myself. No way in hell am I asking permission to buy anything. As far as I know, that only happens on sitcoms when the guy wants a new bowling ball or wants to go to Vegas with the guys. I am not married and don't have kids so it's a lot easier for me to think this way.

[jerryskids 5,165]

My wife and I have separate accounts and we are both engineers. Your theory is starting to sprout leaks.

 

Do you each have 7 CCs tied to your separate accounts?

 

You have to be trolling, right? If not id love to hear an explanation of why joint checking account = "right one"

 

Well, that post was mostly trolling, because my initial post seemed to strike a nerve and it was too easy to troll.

 

Seriously though, IMO a marriage is a union above all else. If you keep the finances separate you are saying that to some degree, you don't want to unify things. I've got mine and she's got hers. But, what happens if there is a financial emergency? What is the retirement plan? A couple of kids later you've got a whole lot more expenses, which accounts pay for what? One of you is paying thousands for the little princess's dance classes, no resentment? I just don't see how anyone can justify the separate accounts other than they want a quick getaway. Look at penny: two docs, no kids, separate accounts. If one of them said tomorrow "hey hon, I'm done with this marriage okay bye$#@!", they would literally have nothing keeping them together, and could do it in the snap of a finger.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,576]

Even dumber. Congratulations.

[supermike80 1,284]

 

Do you each have 7 CCs tied to your separate accounts?

 

 

Well, that post was mostly trolling, because my initial post seemed to strike a nerve and it was too easy to troll.

 

People are WAY TOO SERIOUS Here. I read that and knew it was a troll from the first pass. I like how you followed it up later with another log on the fire. Sometimes its too easy.

[KSB2424 3,082]

People are WAY TOO SERIOUS Here. I read that and knew it was a troll from the first pass. I like how you followed it up later with another log on the fire. Sometimes its too easy.

Skids was 100% serious.

 

When called out for having poor logic he resorted to "just trolling"

 

Then doubled down in the very same post. This happens daily here.

 

We're just not used to Jerry typing such nonsense. Everybody has a bad thread from time to time I suppose. We'll give him a mulligan on this one.

[tanatastic 2,061]

People are WAY TOO SERIOUS Here. I read that and knew it was a troll from the first pass. I like how you followed it up later with another log on the fire. Sometimes its too easy.

Haha he was serious and there was zero troll. Then he got torn apart by people living modern lives who don't feel bound to obligations and social pressures they learned from sitcoms and movies.