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fandandy

What are you getting wiff for christmas?

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Roadhouse and Next of Kin DVD's. Wal Mart sells them together as a package. Wiff seems to like Swayze action movies from the late 80's.

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The complete Facts of Life collection on VHS

 

does he have a thing for mrs garrett?

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One of those high tech sex dolls. If we can't raise enough money to afford that, one of the inflatable ones. If we don't get enough money for that either, a cantelope. If we can't afford the cantelope, a link to a video of a fat guy focking a cantelope.

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A Thigh master and a Snuggie

Please don't. I lost the first Thigh Master in 2003. It's wedged somewhere in my taint, but I can't find it. Damn thing triggers the alarm with the TSA every time I travel though.

 

And the Snuggie? It was a little too snug. I don't know, these things must be manufactured by Asians or something. Not for American sized men. It didn't fit.

 

The thing is so stiff with bodily fluids these days, it stands upright in the corner like one of them little sand people from Star Wars.

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Pitch Perfect 2: Uncut. With special commentary by Anna Kendrick.

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A ride on Digbys private jet to Augusta International

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Please don't. I lost the first Thigh Master in 2003. It's wedged somewhere in my taint, but I can't find it. Damn thing triggers the alarm with the TSA every time I travel though.

 

And the Snuggie? It was a little too snug. I don't know, these things must be manufactured by Asians or something. Not for American sized men. It didn't fit.

 

The thing is so stiff with bodily fluids these days, it stands upright in the corner like one of them little sand people from Star Wars.

Brilliant.

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A unicycle and a kazoo

To go with that, I'll get him a fez cap, mintan, salvar, and fake Rollie Fingers mustache

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Two tickets to the ruth bader ginsberg funeral

Fixed

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