The Walking Dead Season 5

[nobody 2,037]

She probably thought he was cute. Chicks, man.

[wiffleball 4,639]

Gabriel left a blood trail from the church to the forest and that's how the walkers are going to find their way back to the church

 

 

the finale will end with a church being under siege. But, having said that there's a door knob on the office in the church and as we have seen before, walkers are notoriously bad with door knobs

[wiffleball 4,639]

Don gave Beth the key because dawn realizes beth is a threat. She's going to use Beth having the key as the basis for getting rid of her.

 

and, the telephone pole didn't just randomly fall on three random walkers. As evidenced by their matching jumpsuits either they're in some sort of vocal group or more likely they were electrical repair workers working on that pole when it fell down

[frank 2,144]

Don gave Beth the key because dawn realizes beth is a threat. She's going to use Beth having the key as the basis for getting rid of her.

 

and, the telephone pole didn't just randomly fall on three random walkers. As evidenced by their matching jumpsuits either they're in some sort of vocal group or more likely they were electrical repair workers working on that pole when it fell down

It could be the Beastie Boys from the Intergalatic video.

[shotsup 832]

Did Maggie and Rosita make out or was that something dreamt. ??

[edjr 5,560]

I am AMAZED at how bad this show is at covering up the obvious.

 

All of a sudden the walkers can run fast and break windows and open one way church doors.

 

[OldMaid 1,838]

Meh...

 

Season started out with a bang and that's about it. I know I'm supposed to be shocked about Beth, but she was missing for so long, that when we did finally get to see what happened to her, it was hard to care. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.

 

And WTF was up with that little snippet of Morgan, again after the show?

[IGotWorms 3,310]

SPOILERS:

 

 

 

 

So they spend the whole season trying to get Beth back...and then bam, she's dead right as she finally returns to them. That's pretty focking nihilistic.

 

And who shot her anyway? The lady she stabbed with the scissors (why? what a stupid focking move) tried to say it wasn't her before she got blasted. But how the fock could someone shoot her without notice in a narrow hallway packed with people?? It doesn't make any focking sense.

 

Anywho, I agree the season started off with a bang but ended with a whimper.

[CantTouchThis 23]

And WTF was up with that little snippet of Morgan, again after the show?

 

I realized that was Morgan after he looked at the map, didn't make the connection before. I guess his boy got killed and then he hit the road?

 

Yeah, after hearing about how "intense" this episode was, I was really disappointed. I am glad they got rid of Beth though.

[OldMaid 1,838]

I realized that was Morgan after he looked at the map, didn't make the connection before. I guess his boy got killed and then he hit the road?

 

Yeah, after hearing about how "intense" this episode was, I was really disappointed. I am glad they got rid of Beth though.

Both times we've seen Morgan, it's been after the closing credits. I'm wondering if this has anything to do with the spinoff show they have planned?

 

 

 

Worms... Yeah, it was Dawn who shot her. I got the feeling from watching it, she didn't really mean to-it was kinda a gut reaction to getting stabbed.

[edjr 5,560]

Both times we've seen Morgan, it's been after the closing credits. I'm wondering if this has anything to do with the spinoff show they have planned?

 

 

 

Worms... Yeah, it was Dawn who shot her. I got the feeling from watching it, she didn't really mean to-it was kinda a gut reaction to getting stabbed.

 

[parrot 789]

Both times we've seen Morgan, it's been after the closing credits. I'm wondering if this has anything to do with the spinoff show they have planned?

 

 

What's this now... a spinoff? I guess sometimes you just have too many ideas for highly implausible situations with wholly unsatisfying resolutions to fit in one show.

[parrot 789]

SPOILERS:

 

 

 

 

So they spend the whole season trying to get Beth back...and then bam, she's dead right as she finally returns to them. That's pretty focking nihilistic.

 

And who shot her anyway? The lady she stabbed with the scissors (why? what a stupid focking move) tried to say it wasn't her before she got blasted. But how the fock could someone shoot her without notice in a narrow hallway packed with people?? It doesn't make any focking sense.

 

Anywho, I agree the season started off with a bang but ended with a whimper.

 

I think it was noticed, that's why Daryl shot her.

[edjr 5,560]

 

What's this now... a spinoff? I guess sometimes you just have too many ideas for highly implausible situations with wholly unsatisfactory resolutions to fit in one show.

 

[phillybear 364]

http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2014/12/01/the-walking-dead-midseason-finale-attracts-14-8-million-viewers/334289/

 

AMC’S The Walking Dead CAPS FIRST HALF OF FIFTH SEASON WITH STRONG YEAR-OVER-YEAR GROWTH +12% AMONG ALL VIEWERS AND +13% AMONG ADULTS 18-49

HIGHEST-RATED MID-SEASON FINALE EPISODE IN SERIES HISTORY DELIVERS 14.8 MILLION VIEWERS AND

9.6 MILLION ADULTS 18-49

ACROSS THE FIRST EIGHT EPISODES OF THIS FIFTH SEASON, The Walking Dead

 

IS TELEVISION’S #1 SHOW AMONG ADULTS 18-49, AND HAS BEATEN Sunday Night Football FIVE TIMES

“TALKING DEAD” AFTERSHOW ALSO DELIVERS HIGHEST-RATED MID-SEASON FINALE EPISODE IN SERIES HISTORY, WITH

6.6 MILLION VIEWERS AND 4.2 MILLION ADULTS 18-49

New York, NY – December 1, 2014 – AMC’s The Walking Dead ended the first half of its fifth season last night with a mid-season finale that delivered 14.8 million viewers and 9.6 million adults 18-49, up 23% and 24%, respectively, over last season’s corresponding episode. The first eight episodes to date versus The Walking Dead fall season of 2013 are up an average of 12% among all viewers and 13% among adults 18-49. The Walking Dead” is the #1 show in all of television among adults 18-49, including the NFL, which had held top honors since 2007. In eight episodes so far this season, “The Walking Dead has beaten Sunday Night Football five times in adults 18-49, live/same day, a winning percentage of .625 over pro football. The first eight episodes of “The Walking Dead” season five delivered an average of 14.6 million viewers and 9.5 million adults 18-49, outpacing everything else on television this season.

Also last night, the “Talking Dead” aftershow delivered the highest-rated mid-season finale in series history, with 6.6 million viewers and 4.2 million adults 18-49. Each week, “Talking Dead” features host Chris Hardwick and fans, actors, producers and other TV enthusiasts discussing that night’s “The Walking Dead premiere. The mid-season finale featured Robert Kirkman, Emily Kinney (Beth) and Keegan-Michael Key.

[wiffleball 4,639]

Ansolutely crushed

[wiffleball 4,639]

anybody else sick of chris helms worth or whatever his name is having to use a weird voice and put his hand over his rs mouth every time he says dead live. It was atbest the first time cute, now its just annoying.

[wiffleball 4,639]

the after show with Beth was pretty tough to watch.

[phillybear 364]

Well, football is over, time to catch up....

 

5.8 Coda

 

Coda is a term used in music, primarily to designate a passage that bring a piece or movement to an end. Of course, Beth is the most linked character to music in the show, so this episode is aptly named in that it closes the door on her character. It also marks the first time in the series I felt a twinge of sadness over the death of a character, that they will no longer be around. Most of the time, I’m simply angry that a character is killed off since I won’t be able to browbeat them anymore with my words for their unending worthlessness and heaping helping of having donkey brains. On the flip side, I was angry that Shane and The Governor died since they were great characters. But Beth was…harmless. It’s like kicking a kitten to death. Which I highly recommend. I think it gives you fiber or something.

 

As Lamson is a fugitive after escaping the clutches of exhaustingly gullible Sasha who was no doubt awash with the stank of Bob’s filthy jacket, Rick commandeers a cop car and yells at Lambballs to stop. Where exactly did Rick come from? Didn’t Rick, Daryl and Daryl along with Daryl already set off for the hospital, leaving Sasha to guard the prisoners? Magically, the gang reappears like acid reflux. Unexplained tomfoolery by the writers. Anyway, stop or my mom will shoot. Well, failing that, Grindhouse Kurt Russell plows over Lambkabob, much like Carol got plowed over the other day. I mean, by a car, not that half a fagella Daryl who couldn’t find a vag if it was attached to his ankle. Lammykins is lying in a crumpled pile ground meat as Rick and some walkers eager for background screen time approach. “Ass up, don’t shoot”. Lameass grovels to a faux concerned Rick for a while. Much like America is annoyed listening to Al Sharpton trying to read a teleprompter, Rick shoots Lambshank, and then and only then tells him to shut up. Well, Clarice…have the Lambsons stopped screaming. The only thing that would have capped that scene was Rick jacking it on top of LambStew’s head. Rick has certainly come a long way since he tried to talk Jim out of killing himself in Season One, or killing a walker in an act of compassion to end it’s misery in Episode One. Now he’s biting off ears, beating people to death in churches, running over fellow cops, and talking to corpses like they can hear him. Michael Madsen has stopped dancing with an ear in his hand to gaze upon this savage.

 

(From 5.7) My speculation here is that Gabriel will either find Morgan in the woods (despite the continuity error in the Terminus sign) and bring him back to the church, or go to that school house where Gareth and his crew hung out with a butt load of walkers just inside the building with some flimsy, cracked window panes keeping them bottled up. The walkers will break out, Gabriel runs away, allowing them to follow all the way back to the church.

 

Well, that happened. Boom. Wut. Wut. The so obvious that even the Seattle Seahawks offensive coordinator would have noticed ironic scene was Gabriel on the outside of the church, begging for the people inside to let him in like some thirsty vampire outside Scarlett Johannson’s bedroom window. Crabby Michonne and Fucktwat Carl and useless piece of sh!t Judith, stop crying you b!tch, play a game of hide the salami, wait, that’s what I play when I go Bill Cosbying around the nursing home, so then it’s actually hide and seek, a game much more dangerous since walkers can outrun an old person and are almost as clingy. Almost. They trap the walkers even harder than a Chilean miner. I said “miner”. The walkers are inside while the Mod Squad is hanging around outside. There is a Yakov Smirnoff joke there somewhere. Instead of making their way into the woods and far away from danger, Dreds, Keds, and Father Peds, decide to stand around and enjoy some sunshine as the walkers slowly start to break down the door. You mean to tell me that walkers slowly break through a door in every single episode, and here we are in Season 5 while these useless focks stare at the wood structure being splintered, mouths agape, wondering what oh what will happen next. Gabriel confesses that he had to see the evil of the Termites for himself, but never even thinks about admitting that he made a boo-boo when he led the walkers back to the church. Somewhere Obama is giving a speech that Gabriel could have been his son. His Holy Assh0le is bailed out as American Horror Story Freak Show featuring Clash of the Clans strongman, the bearded lesbian, midget Asian, and Mullet Wolfboy return. And two hot chicks. They exchange pleasantries: Eugene lied, Beth is alive. Maggie pretends to give a care.

 

Rick and Daryl try to figure out whether their hostage exchange plan is as dead as Whitney Houston’s daughter. Shepherd and Licari agree to falsify a story that Lamson was deflated by rotters. Hey, that’s cheating. Dawn is facing insubordination as most officers don’t bother to respond to her communication. There is some truth to the rumor that she was previously stationed at Benghazi. Dawn tells Beth that the downfall of Capt Hansen came as he lost the men’s respect and backup. Oh, and a couple of bullets, not the Coors Light kind, which have been proven to have no effect whatsoever on a person no matter how many you force down your gullet. O’Donnell pushes an old man, which makes me deliriously happy. Come on, kick him. But in all seriousness….kick him. What retard thinks a man knows how to sew? What are the odds? That’s a job for a dame. As Beth and Dawn chat in front of an open elevator shaft, they see a computer and explosives died to a chair fall past them as someone from dozens of floors above them yells “Yippe ki yay, Mother Fockers!!!” Dawn admonishes Beth that she has been protecting her over Gorman’s death. Clearly, based on the Frankenstein scars on Beth’s face. O’Donnell takes a break from shaking down the decrepit and sneaks past a creaky door in a silent hospital hallway with his clicky clacky shoes to eavesdrop on the cringe inducing, my teeth hurt from the grinding, awful acting by Dawn. Bad actress. Ox O’Donnell, full of piss and vinegar from elderly abuse, seriously it’s fun and you should try it, ends up wrestling with Dawn in a tub full of mud after his buddies take up a collection to pay the club owner. Unfortunately, the MPs don’t show up in time. Road Dog Dawn and Bad Ass Beth push O’Donnell into the open shaft to be eaten by walkers. Welcome to the party, pal.

 

As Beth hangs out in Carol’s room for a slumber party where Carol is the only one sleeping, Dawn strolls in. OK, look, we get it. Dawn has a crush on Beth. She is stalking her all over the hospital. Not a minute to herself. She is constantly around her when she is wearing skimpy hospital gowns. Punching her like Ray Rice. And now she is trying to ply her with booze. She makes Beth watch Dawn’s exercise bike workout, every episode, she’s peddling and doing kegels at the same time, grinding in the direction of Beth just a few feet away, straining, breast heaving, yearning to scissor….I’ll be right back…:FAP: Beth theorizes that Dawn manipulated Beth into getting rid of all the problem cops for Dawn who were a threat. Yeah, yeah, kill, plot, whatever. How can you not see Dawn’s moist undercarriage right there. I can smell the stank from here. Dawn promises that Noah will come back, they always do. What, are we talking threesome? Dawn continues to pontificate that she didn’t use Beth, but was mentoring her. Mentoring, seducing, tomato, tomato. She promised that she would remember what Beth had done for her. Yeah, I bet she does. As she’s finger popping the night away. It’s an interesting foreplay conversation upon second viewing. Er, foreshadowing.

 

Some words with Sh!tha and what’s his face, her brother. I can’t even remember his character’s name. I’ll gave him Black Dale, I guess. These characters suck. With Rick’s group on top of surrounding rooftops with guns and another mysterious stranger in a book suppository, which makes me wonder how you get a Stephen King novel all the way up the cavity, sideways I guess, Rick approaches a police vehicle. CNN is racing to the scene to try to provoke a riot. Upon hearing Rick is white, they turn around. Rick makes a prisoner exchange proposal. Unlike the United States, he asks to get prisoners back. One of his people shoots a nearby walker to help seal the deal. I was almost expecting a New England Patriot to run across the screen to intercept the bullet. Man, nightmares. Rick is eyeing the car, drooling at the prospect of killing more people in a vehicle than Susan Smith.

 

As the exchange time approaches, we see Beth hide the scissors in her cast again. Clearly she misunderstood what Dawn meant by “scissoring” What, it’s like the 74^th time she’s hidden the weapon? She’s clearly going to use it sooner or later. Right there, clearly we knew that was Beth signing her death warrant. No way Beth wasn’t going to die after all that teasing of the scissors. The tense tradeoff in the hallway begins, Carol for the guy cop. Wasn’t Carol nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for her moving portrayal of retard mouth Stephen Hawking? No? He’s certainly looks like Hawking. Beth for the lady cop. As Rick’s group turns to leave, Dawn demands the return of Noah. Now this is somebody that could win Celebrity Apprentice as she is trying to win the deal. Dawn’s ego just could not let the exchange go down without a hitch. She needed to save face in front of her staff by getting an edge in the trade, punish Noah for escaping, punish Beth, and make her look like a woman of her word as “Noah will come back.” Noah agrees over the protests. Noah sucks. Everybody hates Noah. Well, except for Beth, who hugs him goodbye and just can’t leave it alone. She creates a completely unnecessary final confrontation with Dawn, yet another scene between the two in a very complex relationship. “I get it now” and stab. Yes, you get the death now. Dawn reflexively shoots Beth in the head with her gun. After all the bravado and bluster, Dawn can’t take a simple stab into the shoulder and laugh it off? Come on, dude. Toughen up. Daryl shoots Dawn in the head, and surprisingly everybody stands down. No crossbow? Daryl killed with a gun. Rick recruits all that want to come with them. Abraham’s group arrives as Rick’s gaggle is exiting the hospital. Daryl is carrying the lifeless body of Beth as Maggie pitches a fit under the backdrop of the dirty Atlanta skyline. You have to have some slow motion. In the post credits, Morgan finds the school, the church, and even the map that Abraham left for Rick Grimes, whom Morgan recognizes. He’s starting to catch up to the group a bit more.

[Franknbeans 46]

it's almost go time

[phillybear 364]

it's almost go time

 

Yep.

 

Seems like a bunch of shows I watch are all on hiatus until April. I'm glad at least this one is coming back sooner. Isn't that what happened last year. Right after Walking Dead did their season finale, Game of Thrones started the next week?

[frank 2,144]

I hope Better Call Saul is not going to be on Sunday nights. It would suck if the two shows I most want to watch are on the same night. Maybe it is going to be on Monday.

[nzoner 936]

Well that sucked

[frank 2,144]

Well that sucked

Yep. 15 minutes of story in 1 hour. They did continue the tradition of getting rid of the old black guy when a new one joins the group.

[wiffleball 4,639]

was the premiere last night?

[wiffleball 4,639]

Okay, so Noah has a wonky leg.

 

 

Why the fock, HOW the fock, does he keep outrunning everybody??

 

 

Not just this EP by the way.

 

 

And, I hope to God at some point, Noah tells the truth about why and how (spoiler alert) happened and they gut the little fairy like a fish. But, that will never happen.

 

I'm starting to hate this show. After 2 years of this shiit, you'd think Riick would gut anybody who spilled a drink of water, much less the rest of this bullshiit.

 

By the way, he was my favorite nuanced character. I'm pissed.

 

And seriously? You can now kill walkers with plastic airplanes, but rebar through their necks is a non-issue?

 

AAAAAAARRRRRGGHGG@!!!!!

 

 

 

Is there anything biblical in the names Herschel and Noah that we should be picking up on? Where's that long-winded freaktoid Naomi when we want her?

 

 

When is this bullshiit show supposed to end?

 

And, can we kill off the mullet and the ginger roid freak anytime soon now?

[phillybear 364]

The Walking Dead came ohhhh sooooo close to beating the Grammies in the ratings. It was something like 8.3 Grammies to 8.0 TWD in the 18-49 category. Despite being a sh!t episode. Well, both were sh!t.

[KSB2424 3,083]

Well, last season started out with a bang and progressively got worse. Hopefully this season is the opposite.

[IGotWorms 3,310]

Yeah not a good start. And I focking hate that stupid skinny kid they replaced Tyreese with. Terrible character

[Saint Elistan 106]

There was a LOT of stuff going on in the mid-season premiere. The foreshadowing was immense.

 

Episode Spoilers

 

I'm very much surprised how many people thought it was a garbage episode. We were basically introduced to a new enemy group, but most viewers missed the clues. That place wasn't destroyed by walkers. "Wolves are near". The building's looked like they were hit with RPGs or some . A heavy vehicle had to have knocked down that wall. Those people were hacked into torso's by humans and labeled Inglorious Bastards style with a "W" on their forehead.

 

 

Comic-Related Series Spoilers

 

Baseball bat. Barbed wire. Noah's mom (?) had her head smashed in. Negan, Lucille, and The Saviors on the way?

 

[IGotWorms 3,310]

There was a LOT of stuff going on in the mid-season premiere. The foreshadowing was immense.

 

Episode Spoilers

 

I'm very much surprised how many people thought it was a garbage episode. We were basically introduced to a new enemy group, but most viewers missed the clues. That place wasn't destroyed by walkers. "Wolves are near". The building's looked like they were hit with RPGs or some ######. A heavy vehicle had to have knocked down that wall. Those people were hacked into torso's by humans and labeled Inglorious Bastards style with a "W" on their forehead.

 

 

That's a good point in the episode spoiler. Still though, I'm not too interested in another go around with an enemy faction. Hasn't that horse been beaten already?

[wiffleball 4,639]

seriously, kill Noah. I Mean Bob was a serious wea link but Noah is even worse.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

I liked it. It answered a few questions of getting bit and what happens.

 

My questions: Toilet paper and where they sh!t. Do they dookie together? Who's got their backs when it's knocking? How do they deal with the smell of dead corpses? Flies?

[shotsup 832]

Who feeds the baby ? No lactating boobs around.

 

[BunnysBastatrds 1,913]

Tampons? Panties? Rubbers? Porn? Geeks?

[edjr 5,560]

Who feeds the baby ? No lactating boobs around.

 

 

Who/what feeds the baby, what does is eat, what do they use for diapers and why the fock does it never cry?

 

Kill the focking thing already. This show is so dumb!

[nzoner 936]

Got this from another bored,I definitely missed more than few.

 

The Walking Dead occasionally layers in Easter Eggs and cool details, but it did so much more frequently in this week’s episode. There were some really cool details that, if you weren’t watching (or listening) to closely enough, you may have missed.

 

 

[phillybear 364]

5.9 What Happened and What’s Going On

 

To answer the title of this episode, nothing and even more nothing. This episode was an example of a director and writing team shooting for the stars with their conceptual premise and imagery for an episode and then executing it with the deftness of petting a kitten with a sledgehammer. None of it worked and it was a total mess. It was artsy-fartsy with no soul nor depth. Never in the entirety of this series have I cared less about a character dying than Tyrese. I was so bereft of being invested into his character, I couldn’t even remember his name in the write-up on the last episode. It’s not that I’m completely soulless. Just mostly. We all know that Tyrese has been annoying as sh!t and was rightfully the next person to die. You remember Dale? Carol’s abusive husband was less of a tool than Dale. Everybody was pleased when Dale went bye bye. To sum up, I was delighted when Tyrese was bitten. When he got bitten twice, I was nearly overcome with apoplexy. This series is very simplistic and feeds into the most base plot points. If I’m AMC, I’d be looking over my shoulder. Now that we’ve killed off three good guy characters this season, Bob, Beth, and Tyrese, I’m think Al Sharpton will be picketing in the streets any day now. Still, the death of Tyrese was inevitable and a welcome relief. He was among the least favorite members of the group because he was a whiny wuss. The problem is the writers panicked. They just spend half a season working up to the death of Beth. Here they were ready to kill off Tyrese, and there was no buildup to it. It was sudden. He was mostly background for the past 6 episodes and there was little reason as to why this semi pacifist was on the scout team. So they figured they had to give Tyrese a monumental send off to make us care about his character and the powers that be jammed the episode full of shiny toys, like bringing back past characters, a new town, pictures, flashbacks, flashforwards, then have Tyrese hallucinate forever with no self discovery and zero, zip, nada resolution. Upon rewatch, nothing the ghosts/hallucinations made any sense to anybody. It was talking for the sake of filling space. Total nonsense pretending to be deep meaning and thought provoking. The only thing more frustrating was watching that stupid, useless daredevil try to get swallowed by an anaconda only to cry uncle as soon as he was wrist deep. The snake guy probably gets jumpy when his Nana gives him a hug. So what we ended up watching was 5 minutes of relevant plot and 35 minutes of whatever comprises Taco Bell meat other than meat. Filler. For those that are going around complaining that Noah needs to die because he got Beth and Tyrese killed ever since he showed up, you must remember who else may be responsible. What else do Beth and Tyrese have in common? Judith. Beth cared for Judith in the prison. Tyrese cared for Judith in the post prison era until the church reunion. Therefore, I blame Judith for being a jinx and ultimately responsible for the deaths of Beth and Tyrese. My fervent wish is that Carl will be carrying her around soon. Stupid Carl.

 

The group decides to take Noah to Virginia because that is what Beth would have wanted. Now, if it were me, I’d want to try to find some shelter and stay alive instead of trekking 500+ miles north into the super unknown like some Malaysian airline pilot. We get a stand alone episode with only 5 members of the main group, and none of them have a discernible personality and barely a pulse. 3 people staring into space and Tyrese telling Noah “when I was your age” stories. Is this great or what? And how about Noah pronouncing he has “a couple of twin brothers”. Um, identical triplets? Really? And I kept seeing only 2 brothers in the photos. Technically, a small group is smart, to approach with just a scout team, clearly learning a lesson from barging into Terminus willy-nilly. The sheer distance they commute is 10 times farther than the entirety of the series combined thus far. I’d find it infinitely more satisfying to recount some of the points of interest from the trip rather than watching Glen staring intently at an unidentified CD for hours at a time as if he was a vegan at a scrapple tasting dinner. How exactly do you make it that far without jammed traffic and enough gas in the tank? Does no one remember the road in Season Two that forced them onto the farm? It’s very frustrating watching these numbskulls driving cars and only half the time at best do they keep their stinkin’eyes on the road. Tyrese tells Noah that he used to listen to the news on the radio. Noah is thinking, what’s a radio, and is it anything like an iPOD? I’m wondering if Tyrese would listen to Brian Williams do the news. I remember the time Brian Williams told us he and his sister discovered a creature from another planet that they hid in a closet and fed it Reese’s Pieces until they took a bike ride in the moonlit sky. I swear, Brian Williams is like a Family Guy episode. “I remember the time….” and segway. When they reach Richmond, everybody is dead and/or walkered in this new version of Woodbury. The words 'Wolves not far' are spray painted on a brick hedge wall for all of the viewers to notice. Noah breaks down to sob in his grief, yet at no point did a single tear escape his eyes. Not a drop of moisture to be found on his face. That’s some real convincing acting. This kid stinks. Boooo. Pepper spray yourself or something. Tyreese stays with Dry Tears Ducts McGillicutty while Rick, Michonne, and Glenn poke around. My first impression of Richmond is Prison II. You have the relative high walls and roped off trees in the woods as a competent defense base. There are a multitude of houses for shelter. All you have to do is clear out the walkers, most likely far less than at the Prison and you have more people to get the job done with even more weapons. No telling how bountiful the supplies are for water, food, fire, weapons, but it can only add to whatever resources you have know. At the very least, you should regroup for a while, after a long trip, after not having reasonable shelter since the Prison. That would have been smart. However, we all know that this show and these characters are not that smart. Not a sensible thought to be found.

 

Tyrese give Noah a half hearted pep talk to keep going on. “They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart. Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I'm Joe Dirt!” Noah, clearly not a fan of high brow cinema, with his busted up leg, decides to go for the most awkward jaunt since Oscar Pistorius running the 100 meters without his spatula feet, yet still was inexplicably able to stay ahead of Tyrese‘s full out run even after limping straight ahead for a mile or so. How embarrassing for both Tyrese and the viewer. You think the van falling off the bridge looked fake? Get a load of this track meet. Noah finds his old home and subsequently his mother dead. Tyrese, instead of clearing out the house of walkers, decides to go sight seeing in a museum and in addition does it with his back to the open part of a room. He gets bitten by evil twin Noah. Note the facial hair, always a dead giveaway of the evil twin. Yeah, but who is in the room where Tyrese saw movement at the bottom of the door? We never find out, because walkers can’t use door knobs. So, where did evil Noah come from? Another unanswered question. It just amazes me that as much noise walkers make between their shuffling feet and guttural gargles, they continue to sneak up on people in dead silent situations. Further, why is Noah kneeling by his mother’s head. Don’t take a chance, stab her in the head, dummy. Yeah, it looks like a gun shot wound to the skull, but you can’t be too careful. Stab her. This is what you get for making me clean my room. Take that. How can people living in this world continue to be so damned careless. Noah runs off for help instead of staying to cut off Tyrese’s arm or at least build him a tourniquet. Dumb. Tyrese starts to have bath salt visions, getting visited by Jacob Marley, Martin, Martin’s chewing gum. Bob, Governor, Lizzie, Mika, Beth. They have a nice chat, not Tuesdays with Morrie, but still nice. So, where was Karen? The radio crackles to life in Tyrese’s head, which recounts the adventures that Tyrese has witnessed, specifically a group of people traveling up the East Coast and slaughtering innocent people in gruesome ways, not Expendables 38 but still plenty of action sequences, as the inference is that Tyrese is hearing accounts of Rick’s group and their shenanigans. Tyrese argues with his demons and ultimately concludes nothing of note. Absolutely nothing. But he gets bitten again. Nice. Take that for wasting our time, Cutty. Yeah, beware any actors that used to be on The Wire. TWD 2, actors 0. Now, don’t misconstrue. I enjoyed seeing the reappearance of Beth, the sociopathic Mika, and to this day appreciate how terrific the Governor was. I could do without the rest. Nothing is more horrifying that watching that gum chewing. Sure, it’s fine to reminisce for a bit, but you start to look at your watch as your guests are staying at your house for this party way too long and you just want them to leave.

 

Michonne, apparently the new Tyrese and consciousness of the group, which is not a way to stay alive on this show (Dale, Hershel, Tyrese), wants to set up in one place and build up the defenses of this place. Rick says, well that wall is knocked down, so it’s impossible, despite all of the weapons they have, manpower, and resources like lumber. Rick is still licking his wounds from the tank attack at the Prison. What are your alternatives, dummy? Never mind that it looks like this place took on some heavy duty military type weapons. Oh, weren’t close to Washington, you say? Curiously, only the bottom halves of a bunch of severed corpses, with some assorted limbs, litter the outer walls of this community. If walkers are too dumb to turn a doorknob, they absolutely haven’t learned sushi skills. Must be another group of vigilantes that overran this town, somewhat like the group Daryl fell into when he lost Beth. Michonne suggests going to Washington DC since it’s close by. Sigh. That’s the best reason? It’s close by, and it might have resources. Resources? Like shelter, fire, water, food, which you are standing in the middle of? Rick considers safety vs. the unknown, and picks the unknown. I smack my forehead with my palm and let out an audible sigh. Noah limps up… hasn’t anybody tried to kill Noah yet since he is moving around like a walker for pete’s sake, and tells them Tyrese is bitten. So, they cut off Tyrese’s arm in a particularly brutal scene. Shawarma. They leave town and return to their car, dropping all their resources that they gathered behind. Dumb. As they load up Tyrese to reunite with the group, they bump another vehicle where the top halves of a bunch of corpses spill out. Hmmmm. Where have I seen the bottom halves before? These torsos have “W” carved into their foreheads, a connection to the writing of “Wolves” previously. Tyrese continues to hallucinate about a car full of dead people he used to know, a car where apparently nobody is watching the road as the rocket down a highway. Seriously, somebody grab the wheel. You have to be on the shoulder of the road by now, or in the middle of opposite lane and you might crash into another ghost car. Tyrese dies. The entire group of survivors bury Tyrese. Now, it’s off to do a bit of site seeing of what used to be the nation’s capital. Are they ever going to kill off Tara? I get it, somebody has to be the comedy relief. Unfortunately, the rules plainly state that you can’t kill the comedy relief. However, she isn’t particularly funny even though she’s supposed to be hilarious. I hope that yo-yo gets wrapped around her neck. Another question, did anybody from the hospital other than Noah join the group? I guess we will find out next episode, but it doesn’t seem likely. We already have a huge ensemble cast to the point where they need to keep killing off people otherwise you will have characters that do nothing for a whole season and you forget about them. Like Season 6 of LOST, a bunch of people, standing around in a jungle, doing absolutely nothing. Let the blood flow.

[shotsup 832]

[phillybear 364]

5.10 Them

 

41 minutes of dreck filler and 30 seconds of plot as they debuted a new character at the very end. So go ahead and fast forward to the end of the episode as the rest is absolutely meaningless garbage. Soooooo boring. I can not find anything to write about. Nothing. Boo Hoo. We are so thirsty and hungry and tired. Yeah, well you left supplies behind at Shirewilt, so stop whining. The Whining Dead. It has to get better than this, right?