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Member Since 10 Aug 2007
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 06:02 PM

#6392839 I'm Fawking Back!

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 12 January 2019 - 10:57 PM

san diego for 50th....

So my first love calls me at midnight the night of my BD.. Sees onFB that I'm going to be divorced We kept in touch over the years. Expressing her love to me, Awesome lady. Crazy biotech sends me a ticket online to get on a plane.

I flew to San Diego. A very beautiful flight. Spent two days reminiscing. My 50th was fun.

#6392830 I'm Fawking Back!

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 12 January 2019 - 10:30 PM

so... tell us a few stories

My divorce becomes final in weeks. Sold my house.Closed my business. Am fawking some crazy woman on Plenty Of Fish. Lost 30 lbs. The Saints are awesome. Went to San Diego for my 50 birthday and ate some good ######. Really good ######.

#6392808 I'm Fawking Back!

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 12 January 2019 - 10:10 PM

Hello boysenberries. Thanks Mike.

What I miss? :cheers:

#6346054 Sinead O'Connor converts to Islam

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 30 October 2018 - 12:06 AM

Nothing compares to Jews.

#6331925 My Shed Is Filled Wth Hundreds Of Black Widow Spiders

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 10 October 2018 - 07:04 PM

Voltaire..... thanks for reminding me.

#6316124 What was ruined when it became popular

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 21 September 2018 - 08:30 PM

Shaved baginas.

#6309603 Fake ID's

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 15 September 2018 - 03:34 AM

I look about 8 years younger than I am. So yeah never was able to get away with buying alcohol underage

I never had a problem by the age of fifteen. Had two friends with your dilemma though. If I wasn't there they were screwed. One of them used to try at the A&P grocery store and would always get shot down. Dumb ass would return the beer all the way in the back and leave deflated. He kept trying and one day he left the beer at the register. The cashier got pissed as she had to return it. Couple days later he did it again. This goes on all week. So by the end of the week he and a friend try to buy four cases. No cart. She goes to ID them and says.....I know neither of you little bastarsds have ID or money to pay fo four cases. My dawgs are hurting (feet) and I ain't walking back there. You pay and the other one returns this other sh!t. Ramona never carded them again.

#6285908 Time travel possible..............who do you go back in time to bed?

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 15 August 2018 - 05:15 AM

"Yer mom" isn't interested in you so move onto some other chick.
For me it'd be Raquel Welch followed by Jaclyn Smith.

Jacvlyn Smith was my favorite also. Nice one.

Andre The Giant. Gentility makes me feel so bad.

Barbara Eden. Nuff said.

Jane Mansfield. Such a ###### till she lost her head.

#6283770 Want to ask a question

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 11 August 2018 - 04:08 AM

Thanks bunny. That's what I pray for after communion. But I'm not that good a guy.

You are. Questioning yourself doesn't make tomorrow a better day. You know in your heart you are. Follow it. Ignore the rest. Good people rise.

#6278545 So I Got Busted Three Years Later

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 02 August 2018 - 08:18 PM

I'm in the process of divorce. Me and Mrs. Bunny are going our separate ways. Little Bunny is accepted in LSU for this semester. Menapause and an empty nest have put wifey over the top. She wants to go. And I'm fine with that. Sell the house and split it down the middle. We have some nice art work and antiques. She can have all the art.  I'm ready to go our own ways.  Amicably. And she says.....

Mrs. Bunny: You ate that Dallas cop out in the pool when we were all in bed after that awesome Fourth of July party under the premise that you could teach that lesbian wannabe how to please her girlfriend. I just heard the story last month. You are an ass.

I ate her out and shared every tip I could. She was a very confused lesbian that needed guidance in a pool with a guy like me. We spent three hours playing. Got on line with our phones. Showed her my favorite adult star, Alexis Texas.

Oh, 36C. She is hot. And clumsy. But bad ass. If she arrested you, you'd have respect. I taught her how to lick some poosay. One great night.

Fast forward. She told my wife's best friend who's pool we were in what I did. Yesterday. When confronted, I man up.

Me: I got to teach a beautiful woman with a gun how to eat nurse poosay in a pool and she thanked me like I was a God. Busted? You bet.

#6274713 Quotes from movies you use

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 27 July 2018 - 03:42 PM

Is that your purse?  Trading Places

#6270646 Observation

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 21 July 2018 - 10:41 PM

  Had a guy recently ask what's the best pick up line you have. Me: I was a lawyer. I hated my wife. My family asked to many questions. I live in the Deep South. I'm a Titans fan. I moved to fawking China to teach young kids to learn Ingrsh and marry a battery powwow😑

#6268393 Death Penalty?

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 18 July 2018 - 07:49 PM

Interesting ending though.
After putting me thru the ringer and a lot of ugliness - we told them we would no longer cooperate nor answer any more questions... For 5 years I lived in fear of somebody knocking on my door, showing up at my work - ready to take me away in cuffs. I just assumed that day was coming as they built their case............... Then one day, out of the blue - the DA called and asked if I would come down one more time.. I (basically) told him to go Fock himself - to call my lawyer. He said this time was different, that I was no longer under suspicion - that they had caught the guys who did it, they needed my help............. The story goes - a woman called the Ft. Worth PD, told them she was in Kansas - said if they helped her get her kids back from her estranged husband, she'd tell them about a murder that took place several years earlier... They flew up to meet her, helped her with her predicament - she spilled the beans.... Her husband, his brother and her were into drugs - they needed a score and they needed money. They had cased the store for a few days - planned to rob it, then head straight to Kansas........... (according to her) Things went wrong, they shot him point blank in a struggle, they got away with only some smokes - had been living in Kansas ever since (cept the bother, he joined the Marines)... The accomplice finally rolled and they recovered the shotgun - that's was the eventual nail in the coffin.

Holy sh!t!!! That's crazy.

#6263337 I'll be returning to the US on Saturday

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 12 July 2018 - 02:31 PM

 Glad to have you back. :cheers:

#6262042 Evel Knievel record broken

Posted by BunnysBastatrds on 11 July 2018 - 09:33 AM

my dad got me evel's autograph at a celeb golf tourny in the 70's.
top that!   :bandana:

He used to come to New Orleans and dock his red white and blue yacht at the harbor.  One Sunday we had a church pic nick. Three legged racing and all that stoopid sh!t. After the fun and games, there were some eggs left from the egg toss game. My friend Chris grabbed three of them and egged his yacht. Me: Dude, you can't egg Evel!!!  Evel came running outside and was screaming at us. I miss laughing that hard.