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#41 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 03:51 PM

what if she doesn't drink?

 

She does.  She mentioned a bar she likes, and there is a section for type of drinker, and she put that she's a social drinker.  Doesn't matter if the girl doesn't drink anyway, I do.  Anyone can drink a non-alcoholic drink if they don't drink alcohol.  I need to get a little buzzed to make sure I'm funny, interesting and energetic.  I've learned, drinks => girlfriend.  Coffee => girl doesn't want to see me again.  Plus I hate coffee and think sitting at a small table across from each other with nothing but conversation kinda sucks.



#42 Flyfreak

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 03:52 PM

 

She does.  She mentioned a bar she likes, and there is a section for type of drinker, and she put that she's a social drinker.  I need to get a little buzzed to make sure I'm funny, interesting and energetic.  I've learned, drinks => girlfriend.  Coffee => she doesn't want to see me again.  Plus I hate coffee and thinking sitting at a small table across from each other with nothing but conversation kinda sucks.

you need to be sober minded in case you have sex, you'll want to remember how to do it



#43 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 03:54 PM

you need to be sober minded in case you have sex, you'll want to remember how to do it

:lol:



#44 BudBro

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 03:55 PM

what if she doesn't drink?

 

then, he would know that coffee or lunch might work better.

 

 

Yea, that sounds good.  I'll probably wait to say something like that until after we message back and forth a couple more times though.

 

you're living on hopium.  just seeing if she'd be open to a meeting doesn't mean you need to feel rejected if she says no.  it may not be a top 5 priority of hers, she may have met another person she's working through, you said your ex was in the picture anyway.  just asking if she'd be open doesn't commit her and shouldn't commit you.  you may not like her after you meet her, she may not be all you've romanticized her to be.  you have to get into relationship with someone before you go for the sale.  she may not need what you have to sell, she might not be a fit for you.  go into the 3-d world and say hello.


“You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift, help small men by tearing down big men, strengthen the weak by weakening the strong, lift the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer, help the poor by destroying the rich, establish security on borrowed money, or help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.” —William J. H. Boetcker

http://www.flickr.co..."]2007 f-18 pic


#45 Flyfreak

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 03:57 PM

:lol:

she looks pretty hot, good luck



#46 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 04:07 PM

she looks pretty hot, good luck

 

Thanks



#47 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 04:09 PM

 

then, he would know that coffee or lunch might work better.

 

 

you're living on hopium.  just seeing if she'd be open to a meeting doesn't mean you need to feel rejected if she says no.  it may not be a top 5 priority of hers, she may have met another person she's working through, you said your ex was in the picture anyway.  just asking if she'd be open doesn't commit her and shouldn't commit you.  you may not like her after you meet her, she may not be all you've romanticized her to be.  you have to get into relationship with someone before you go for the sale.  she may not need what you have to sell, she might not be a fit for you.  go into the 3-d world and say hello.

 

I know, and agree.  I just need to write her and have her write me back at least once more though, build a little attraction or at least something to know we will have a good chance to have a potential meet up go smoothly.  I want to do everything I can to give myself the best shot possible to impress her in case I do end up really liking her.  I know most everything depends on the "date", but want to be cool and funny and interesting even before that, to give myself a better chance to get her to agree to a "date",  Might try to move to text and a phone call and then ask her out.



#48 BudBro

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 04:16 PM

 

I know, and agree.  I just need to write her and have her write me back at least once more though, build a little attraction or at least something to know we will have a good chance to have a potential meet up go smoothly.  I want to do everything I can to give myself the best shot possible to impress her in case I do end up really liking her.  I know most everything depends on the "date", but want to be cool and funny and interesting to give myself a better chance to get her to agree to a "date"

don't ask for a date.  you're believing you have to make the sale prior to knowing if it's a fit for either of you.  being open for a drink or 2 means an hour or so together.  then, if you like her, you ask her "so, where do you think we go from here?"  then, you're not putting the sales pressure on her, you're allowing her to be honest with you.  all the funny and cool stuff is nonsense people see right through.  it's like salesman talk.  nobody believes it and it builds a wall. 


“You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift, help small men by tearing down big men, strengthen the weak by weakening the strong, lift the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer, help the poor by destroying the rich, establish security on borrowed money, or help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.” —William J. H. Boetcker

http://www.flickr.co..."]2007 f-18 pic


#49 The Moz

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 05:32 PM

Best of luck man.  If real she looks really nice but how she looks and how she might be are two different things.  Judging by the pics of u you have given here she is a step or 2 above you so unless you got a lot of cash expect to be bossed around by this one unless she is the 99.999% er. 

 

but to your question - dude just ask her for drinks and see whats up damn



#50 tanatastic

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 05:35 PM

Best of luck man.  If real she looks really nice but how she looks and how she might be are two different things.  Judging by the pics of u you have given here she is a step or 2 above you so unless you got a lot of cash expect to be bossed around by this one unless she is the 99.999% er. 

 

but to your question - dude just ask her for drinks and see whats up damn

Fo sho this, both parts.


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#51 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 06:45 PM

What I wrote:

 

It would have been NICE to hear back from you. No problem if you don't want to talk to me. It's your loss.

 

 

 

Her response.

 

Huh? Okay, what did I do wrong now?

Hi, I'm S..... I'm sorry about whatever happened - didn't even know I didn't respond to you. I'm sure I messed something up on my end. Sorry for any confusion, awkward.

 

 

 

I'll message her back tonight.



#52 Flyfreak

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 06:52 PM

"it's your loss"

 

that's pretty damn harsh



#53 Bier Meister

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 07:21 PM

gepetto- just relax.  this shouldn't be life or death.  try not to let this stuff phase you (or at least don't display it).  i think to salvage this you have to treat it like  a mulligan.

 

"you know.... i think we got off to a poor start. let's try again. my name is gepetto and i like wine by the fire and walks on the beach.  what do you like to do when you aren't working?"

 

 

ultimately work this into a f2f meeting (coffee, lunch, drinks, whatever).


Challenge does not build character. Challenge reveals it.

#54 kutulu

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 07:55 PM

Send her a pic of yer cack :banana:
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#55 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:27 PM

What I wrote:
 
It would have been NICE to hear back from you. No problem if you don't want to talk to me. It's your loss.
 
 
 
Her response.
 
Huh? Okay, what did I do wrong now?

Hi, I'm S..... I'm sorry about whatever happened - didn't even know I didn't respond to you. I'm sure I messed something up on my end. Sorry for any confusion, awkward.

 
 
 
I'll message her back tonight.


I think you may have a keeper here, for two reasons.

1. I ran those pics through a reverse image engine. No results. Which means the pics aren't porn star, hooker, or stock photos.

And

2. You were a ###### to her, and she responded and apologized. The daddy issues are strong in this one. No amount of cack will ever fill the hole in her soul, but God bless her, she keeps trying.

I say arrange a face to face. Be late on purpose, and be kind of a d!ck. I don't mean creepy or hostile, just aloof and uncaring. Chicks dig that, this one screams doormat.

#56 tanatastic

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:37 PM

What I wrote:
 
It would have been NICE to hear back from you. No problem if you don't want to talk to me. It's your loss.
 
 
 
Her response.
 
Huh? Okay, what did I do wrong now?
Hi, I'm S..... I'm sorry about whatever happened - didn't even know I didn't respond to you. I'm sure I messed something up on my end. Sorry for any confusion, awkward.

 
 
 
I'll message her back tonight.

Ouch, a little thick with the aggressive "it's your loss". She responded so that's great so now you need to do Dmg control. Immediately change the tone to super nice and say you were just messin with her and it's ok and at you really just wanted to talk to her so your glad she responded. At that point she's all yours as long as she responds with anything other than "whatever creep." So that's when you need to try and schedule the low impact meetup. Smoothie, coffee, lunch, whatever fits her schedule.

DO NOT listen to the advice to keep being a d-ick. You want to use that sparingly. Little girls and bar sluts in their 20s respond well to negativity, grown women don't usually. Also do not be late, punctuality is actually a desirable quality since everyone and their brother is a completely unreliable flake usually. She will prob be late anyway cuz women are completely inconsiderate. But if a man is late it's about 3 min of waiting and face booking til she gives up and stops caring and leaves.

I can't think of anyone better to run the country than a reality TV, business mogul blowhard. Apparently, neither could the democrats.


#57 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:43 PM

Ouch, a little thick with the aggressive "it's your loss". She responded so that's great so now you need to do Dmg control. Immediately change the tone to super nice and say you were just messin with her and it's ok and at you really just wanted to talk to her so your glad she responded. At that point she's all yours as long as she responds with anything other than "whatever creep." So that's when you need to try and schedule the low impact meetup. Smoothie, coffee, lunch, whatever fits her schedule.

DO NOT listen to the advice to keep being a d-ick. You want to use that sparingly. Little girls and bar sluts in their 20s respond well to negativity, grown women don't usually. Also do not be late, punctuality is actually a desirable quality since everyone and their brother is a completely unreliable flake usually. She will prob be late anyway cuz women are completely inconsiderate. But if a man is late it's about 3 min of waiting and face booking til she gives up and stops caring and leaves.


I agree. I'm merely giving whatever advice amuses me.

#58 tanatastic

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:46 PM

I agree. I'm merely giving whatever advice amuses me.


LOL oh I know bro, we are all amused. I just like being involved, makes me feel useful so I want him to succeed.

I can't think of anyone better to run the country than a reality TV, business mogul blowhard. Apparently, neither could the democrats.


#59 cbfalcon

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:46 PM

This is beyond easy. Just write something along the lines of "Unfortunately I cannot accept your apology. However, if you let me buy you a drink, I'll give you an opportunity to plead your case."

Done. If that doesn't work, you never had a chance to begin with.
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#60 Frank M

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:47 PM

"it's your loss"

 

that's pretty damn harsh

 

Are you new here? Gepetto is really, I mean really bad at this.


"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." -Charles Darwin

 


#61 Frank M

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:50 PM

 

She has a picture of her in a Nebraska Huskers shirt.  Here it is: http://football19.my...625&F=0007&O=01

 

Guaranteed you won't be happy when she jackhammers that inch of makeup off in the morning.


"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." -Charles Darwin

 


#62 Frank M

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 08:52 PM

 

She does.  She mentioned a bar she likes, and there is a section for type of drinker, and she put that she's a social drinker.  Doesn't matter if the girl doesn't drink anyway, I do.  Anyone can drink a non-alcoholic drink if they don't drink alcohol.  I need to get a little buzzed to make sure I'm funny, interesting and energetic.  I've learned, drinks => girlfriend.  Coffee => girl doesn't want to see me again.  Plus I hate coffee and think sitting at a small table across from each other with nothing but conversation kinda sucks.

 

This bodes well for your impending relationship. If I'm not my normal self, they like me. If I'm my normal self, they don't.

 

:doh:


"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." -Charles Darwin

 


#63 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:00 PM

what if she doesn't drink?


That one is a drinker. No question.

All my flavors are guranteed to satisfy.


#64 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:00 PM

 

This bodes well for your impending relationship. If I'm not my normal self, they like me. If I'm my normal self, they don't.

 

:doh:

 

Aren't most people a little better in social situations when they drink.  It's the entire reason people drink at all.  Except for raging alcoholics.  I think you're trying too hard to talk down to me.



#65 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:03 PM

You should see what I texted my ex-girl friend when we broke up.  It wasn't nice and I took her on an emotional roller coaster and then cut off all communication for like a month.  I got back in touch with a subtle text about something that reminded me of her, and she initiates texting more than I do now and we text every night.



#66 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:06 PM

I wrote her back a half hour ago.  Note: her profile headline is:  Suicide Squad.  Thanks for the help.  I wrote the following.

 

It’s OK. I’m sure you’re overwhelmed by messages. You know… I think we got off to a poor start, let’s try again.

 

Hi S, I’m C. I grew up on a lake 10 minutes west of <my hometown>. I’m into boating and water-skiing, and fishing too, as well as movies, music, sports, and going out. We seem to have a lot in common. :) I’m looking for something real.

 

Suicide Squad film looks to be really fascinating, and cool, what do you know about it?



#67 Strike

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:08 PM

Whatever you do don't show her your FFL lineups, especially the one with Tebow as your QB.


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#68 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:10 PM

Whatever you do don't show her your FFL lineups, especially the one with Tebow as your QB.

 

Haha.  Tebow was a quality start when I started him in our league based on our statistical settings.



#69 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:21 PM

LOL oh I know bro, we are all amused. I just like being involved, makes me feel useful so I want him to succeed.


"be a d!ck" is terrible advice for two reasons. One is the one you mentioned.

Two is that you either have that or you don't. Nice guy trying to fake it to score ends badly. I know from experience.

#70 jerryskids

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:22 PM

This is beyond easy. Just write something along the lines of "Unfortunately I cannot accept your apology. However, if you let me buy you a drink, I'll give you an opportunity to plead your case."

Done. If that doesn't work, you never had a chance to begin with.

 

This is beautiful.  I think I've said it before, but you could make a ton of money starting a consulting business to be Cyrano for guys trying to hook up online.  :thumbsup:

 

I wrote her back a half hour ago.  Note: her profile headline is:  Suicide Squad.  Thanks for the help.  I wrote the following.

 

It’s OK. I’m sure you’re overwhelmed by messages. You know… I think we got off to a poor start, let’s try again.

 

Hi S, I’m C. I grew up on a lake 10 minutes west of <my hometown>. I’m into boating and water-skiing, and fishing too, as well as movies, music, sports, and going out. We seem to have a lot in common. :) I’m looking for something real.

 

Suicide Squad film looks to be really fascinating, and cool, what do you know about it?

 

I don't love this but it isn't the worst response I could imagine.  You seemed determined to let her know she is attractive and getting lots of messages (which I think was a big mistake), but you didn't dwell on it and moved on to moving on, so I give you props for that.

 

I might have gone with something like "I'm sure you're overwhelmed by messages like I am, so no worries."  Casual, confident.  You are both great catches, you should hook up before the paparazzi catches wind-sorta attitude.


"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse." -- John Stuart Mill


#71 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:23 PM

 
This is beautiful.  I think I've said it before, but you could make a ton of money starting a consulting business to be Cyrano for guys trying to hook up online.  :thumbsup:
 
 
I don't love this but it isn't the worst response I could imagine.  You seemed determined to let her know she is attractive and getting lots of messages (which I think was a big mistake), but you didn't dwell on it and moved on to moving on, so I give you props for that.
 
I might have gone with something like "I'm sure you're overwhelmed by messages like I am, so no worries."  Casual, confident.  You are both great catches, you should hook up before the paparazzi catches wind-sorta attitude.


Also, I bet that you are responding to her the instant she his send.

Let her marinate awhile. Don't appear to eager.

#72 jerryskids

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:27 PM

Also, I bet that you are responding to her the instant she his send.

Let her marinate awhile. Don't appear to eager.

 

Great advice.  Wait at least a day unless it is some sort of real-time IM kinda exchange.  


"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse." -- John Stuart Mill


#73 mobb_deep

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:32 PM

You should write in all caps, so she knows how serious you are about stalking her.

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#74 IGotWorms

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:33 PM

"be a d!ck" is terrible advice for two reasons. One is the one you mentioned.

Two is that you either have that or you don't. Nice guy trying to fake it to score ends badly. I know from experience.


It works just fine if you actually make yourself into a d1ck. I got totally wrecked by this one cold hearted b1tch in my 20s and for a while there I was just a complete focking assh0le. And women loved it. Suddenly I was getting it from all sides.

#75 Frank M

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:46 PM

 

Aren't most people a little better in social situations when they drink.  It's the entire reason people drink at all.  Except for raging alcoholics.  I think you're trying to hard to talk down to me.

 

I'm not trying that hard.


"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." -Charles Darwin

 


#76 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:48 PM

It works just fine if you actually make yourself into a d1ck. I got totally wrecked by this one cold hearted b1tch in my 20s and for a while there I was just a complete focking assh0le. And women loved it. Suddenly I was getting it from all sides.


At my core, I am an inherently nice guy.

But I can be a ###### when I have to. I was a collection lawyer for focks sake.

But with women, I was painfully nice. Oh and fat. I cringe looking back now.

I think I have learned some how to be a d!ck in this whole marriage ending process. There have been several occasions where she has tried to make it emotional, and I've just coldly said "I don't focking care anymore. Your opinion of me is irrelevant. Now do you want to be a grown up and do this nice, or do I leave now?"

That shuts her up.

And chicks in chatting with... As a young man, I reeked of desperation.

I couldn't walk away from the deal. It's like buying a car... You have to be prepared to walk out.

My philosophy this time is more... There are roughly 4,000,000,000 vaginas on the planet. Roughly Sixty percent are fockable. It's all pink in the middle and it all looks the same in the dark.

Within reason of course.

#77 Artista

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:51 PM

Did I miss where she says how old she is? She does seem to be into botox/plastic surgery just by looking at the pic. Doesn't seem completely natural if it matters to you. And NEVER show you are more interested in her than she is in you. You never want to show that even if you feel it. I think you are over analyzing, unless you are just looking for fun. If you are looking for serious, you just need to go with the flow and not stress about it. Meet up and see. She may not be all that you think she is and you would have driven yourself nuts in the process. Of course she could be and you may drive yourself nuts in that process as well, but don't. Trust me, women hate guys that appear desperate.



#78 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:54 PM

Also, I bet that you are responding to her the instant she his send.

Let her marinate awhile. Don't appear to eager.

 

I first messaged her last Thursday.  She looked at my profile and didn't respond.

Sunday, I wrote her again calling her out for not responding.

She wrote me 48 hours later, last night (Tuesday).  I waited 24 hours and wrote her back...

Tonight (Wed.)



#79 Gepetto

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:57 PM

Did I miss where she says how old she is? She does seem to be into botox/plastic surgery just by looking at the pic. Doesn't seem completely natural if it matters to you. And NEVER show you are more interested in her than she is in you. You never want to show that even if you feel it. I think you are over analyzing, unless you are just looking for fun. If you are looking for serious, you just need to go with the flow and not stress about it. Meet up and see. She may not be all that you think she is and you would have driven yourself nuts in the process. Of course she could be and you may drive yourself nuts in that process as well, but don't. Trust me, women hate guys that appear desperate.

 

She's 31.  I'm 41.  She had said on her profile a couple weeks ago (before I wrote her or even signed up for online dating) that she was looking for a guy age 32-45, then she changed it to 32-40.  I then wrote her.  My age range I'm seeking says 32-43.

 

The lot of make up is something I noticed; I also noticed she didn't provide a full body shot.  I'm OK if she ends up not being thin.  She describes herself as "average body type".  I do actually like that she cares enough to wear makeup the way she does, I can tell she tries to make herself look good.  She seems nice.



#80 tanatastic

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 09:57 PM

Great advice.  Wait at least a day unless it is some sort of real-time IM kinda exchange.

This was great advice 15 years ago. Now you are literally yesterday's news if you wait a day. She's already 20 messages past yours and if she remembers your name it's a miracle by then. Respond in 10 min or so, not a day or even half a day.

I might have gone with something like "I'm sure you're overwhelmed by messages like I am, so no worries."  Casual, confident.  You are both great catches, you should hook up before the paparazzi catches wind-sorta attitude.

Eh nah. Overwhelmed like I am? Sounds like a badly veiled attempt to brag. In real life women love the ladykiller since they can sense and react to your confidence, but online and in text it doesn't translate unless your an obvious stud. Plus they know it's just plain bull and are well aware that women get tons of messages. They understand the wolf/sheep dynamic of online dating.


Love these Gepetto threads. The combination and delicate balance of trainwreck/valuable lessons is classic.

I can't think of anyone better to run the country than a reality TV, business mogul blowhard. Apparently, neither could the democrats.