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#41 SUXBNME

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 10:51 PM

1. It tastes like sh!t.

How do you know this?
The sh1t taste part :unsure:

#42 gocolts

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 10:57 PM

:banana:

Do you write for a living? That was well written....I even googled parts of it to see if you copied from elsewhere....

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: Very nicely done.

Drobs story was kick ass too.
Go Colts!!!!

#43 mobb_deep

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:05 PM

Sounds like she's ready for the Spock.

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#44 gocolts

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:08 PM

Sounds like she's ready for the Spock.

:unsure:
Go Colts!!!!

#45 mobb_deep

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:09 PM

:unsure:


Start with the shocker?

Sangre Por Sangre


#46 gocolts

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:12 PM

Start with the shocker?

I don't know what either one of those things mean. Then again, I haven't been laid in over 6 years and will never have sex again. :(

So I LOVE these kinds of threads. :thumbsup:
Go Colts!!!!

#47 DankNuggs

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:12 PM

You can go to work, you can be the boss
Imma be the owner, be a thought donor
Imma go hard like a mutha fockin' boner
Imma make the beat put the people in a coma
You can be a geek or a rolling stoner

I woke up in the mornin, hard like morning wood in the mornin'
Woke up thinking about microphonin'
ET own the mic phone the homeland

Bruins > Habs


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#48 mobb_deep

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:18 PM

I don't know what either one of those things mean. Then again, I haven't been laid in over 6 years and will never have sex again. :(

So I LOVE these kinds of threads. :thumbsup:


Shocker = two in the pink one in the stink.
Spocker = two in the pink two in the stink.

Sangre Por Sangre


#49 gocolts

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 11:20 PM

Shocker = two in the pink one in the stink.
Sprocker = two in the pink two in the stink.

HA. I have actually done the Shocker then. :headbanger:
Go Colts!!!!

#50 shotsup

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 01:01 AM

As I'm closing the door, I see the asparagus and think, ok yeah, this will be good.



AS soon as I read this I knew where it was going and continued reading like it was a Robert Ludlam page turner .......

:first: It is an early GOY posting :thumbsup:
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
~George Burns

#51 shotsup

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 01:04 AM

....smelled like when you rub your finger on the side of your balls and sniff it after a long hard hot day at work or at the gym


Only you yourself can smell it and not hurl - this made me spit me beer out - just a little :cheers:

drob made a funny (but didn't win this thread.......yet :ninja: )
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
~George Burns

#52 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 06:45 AM

Sprocker = two in the pink two in the stink.


Also called the Vulcan Taint Grip.

Live long and prosper.

#53 JohnD.

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 10:26 AM

Don't forget the GI Joe (cause it looks like their kung fu grip) = four in the stink one in the pink.


Shocker = two in the pink one in the stink.
Sprocker = two in the pink two in the stink.

#54 jerryskids

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 11:28 AM

I once had this cow who hounded me all night to blow me because she was heading back to florida the next day.
After enough beers I said fock it and took her to a hotel room...she said she loves to be fingered...so I procede and within 10 seconds she shot what was the most vile smelling stream of slime I ever witnessed....smelled like when you rub your finger on the side of your balls and sniff it after a long hard hot day at work or at the gym except 10 times more potent. It definitely wasnt pee, the stuff hit me in the shoulder and I freaked...started dry heaving right in front of her....almost puked, made it to the bathroom and dry heeved some more until I regained my composure. Took a good long hard look in the mirror and had another one of those "what the fock am I doing here" moments :(
Did I mention that when taking her bra off she had the body odor of a frenchman?

Did you go back and finish? :dunno:

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#55 drobeski

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 02:20 PM

Did you go back and finish? :dunno:

No, went back in the room and she apologized repeatedly...i did the same and blamed the alcohol for making me sick. Told her I need to sleep, passed out next to her..woke up at like 5 am with those same what the fock am i doing here thoughts in my head ..woke her up at 6, drove her to her sisfers or whatever it was, gave her a cd of my nephews band and off she went.
This was like 6 months after being separated and single for the first time in my adult life.

#56 Mookz

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 03:03 PM

No, went back in the room and she apologized repeatedly...i did the same and blamed the alcohol for making me sick. Told her I need to sleep, passed out next to her..woke up at like 5 am with those same what the fock am i doing here thoughts in my head ..woke her up at 6, drove her to her sisfers or whatever it was, gave her a cd of my nephews band and off she went.
This was like 6 months after being separated and single for the first time in my adult life.

Revenge is sweet. :thumbsup:

#57 KSB2424

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Posted 25 April 2012 - 03:15 PM

I had one girlfriend who did this; only one ever. It's not pee and its not 'squirting'. To be honest I'm not sure what it is either. It's clear and doesn't really smell of anything (in my experince) yet its alot of it. Like wet the bed as if you peed kinda deal. She never seemed to freak out when it happend (as if she peed) and I really didn't ever have the nerve to ask "What in the hell is that?" either.

One of lifes mysteries I guess? :dunno:
Disclaimer: I have no focking idea what I'm talking about.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." – Albert Einstein

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

#58 OldMaid

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 03:53 PM

Looks like Brian McKnight has all the answers.






This just might be the worst song in the history of worst songs.

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
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#59 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 03:59 PM

Looks like Brian McKnight has all the answers.






Now I'm really confused. He must just be only banging white girls cause everybody knows black chicks don't squirt.

All my flavors are guranteed to satisfy.


#60 nikki2200

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:15 PM

I have and it definitely is not urine, tastes nothing like it.
haters just gonna hate

It's much better collecting stray kats and crapping your pants on occasion. Trust me.


#61 shotsup

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:20 AM

piss - case closed
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
~George Burns

#62 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:36 AM

I have and it definitely is not urine, tastes nothing like it.
haters just gonna hate

In your case, it is likely pus. :dunno:
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

#63 JTB

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 10:58 AM

It's not vaginal fluid. It comes out the pee hole. It's pee.



Hmmmm - Sperm must be pee then. It comes out the pee hole :unsure:

#64 kilroy69

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 01:54 PM

I literally JUST discovered my first squirter. Like yesterday. 


Its still not a hummingbird.

#65 NorthernVike

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 02:12 PM

I literally JUST discovered my first squirter. Like yesterday. 

You should start your own thread about it.  :doh:


Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#66 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 02:19 PM

Nikki never responded to my comment about the pus coming out of her puss.  :dunno:


Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

#67 NorthernVike

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 02:20 PM

Nikki never responded to my comment about the pus coming out of her puss.  :dunno:

Maybe you should have asked tiki?  :dunno:


Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#68 Big Guy

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 02:45 PM

So, I'm eating my wife out a few months ago, and she starts going wild due to some 2-hole finger banging I'd just introduced to the normal lick hard and fast routine.

I'm working her for quite awhile and as my neck starts to ache and my wrist starts to stiffen, I'm heartened by her acceptance,....no.... her ENTHUSIASM for this newly discovered dirt box stimulation. In my mind, I know it will eventually lead to a some wild butt secks. Thusly, I start to get really wound up.

As she starts to reach the tipping point, she arches her back and I start to feel a warm, wet sensation in my mouth and on my face. It was not so much a squirt, but more of an ooze. It had no taste or smell, but there was a lot of it. I thought it felt a little thick, but that could've been my tongue going a little numb. Anyway, I kept going until she was finished. In the heat of the moment, all I can think is that I've become such a skilled cunnilngus master that I've unleashed a squirter. I am awesome. I turn her over, finish in 2.35 seconds flat and then jump off to get cleaned up.

She goes to take a shower and I'm left to deal with my own mess and whatever catastophe has befallen the sheets. No big deal. I notice a wet spot about the size of a basketball and grab a towel. The towel is useless against this sea of vaginal fluid. The sheet and the mattress pad are both soaked thru, so I strip the bed, throw the top sheet down on the matress, throw the blanket on top of that and call it a night.

We've done the same sort of thing several times since that night, sans the excess water works.

Fast forward to yesterday.

After work I needed to make something quick for dinner. Pasta it is. Yes, I do all the cooking at our house. My wife does all the cleaning. (Except, apparently post secks bed linen sanitation) Not only am I an skilled giver of orgasms, but I also handle my share of domestic duties. Aren't I quite the catch?

First I grill some chicken and get the pasta water boiling. I then start searching the fridge for vegetables. I grab a zuchinni, some mushrooms, and some sun dried tomatoes. As I'm closing the door, I see the asparagus and think, ok yeah, this will be good.

The pasta turned out great. The wife loved it, I thought it was decent, my sons wouldn't even look at it. They both opted for chicken nuggets, carrots, apples, and yogurt instead. They never eat what I cook, but that's another story.

We spend a few hours with my sons and then hustle them off to bed. Neither of us had mentioned it verbally, but we were on the same horny page for some reason, and wanted to get to bed early too.

We get into it and eventually work ourselves into a the same situation as previously mentioned. She's on her back, I'm working her over with the tongue and 2 fingers. (1 in each hole)

She starts to get off and again, I start to feel the wet ooze, but this time it's different. It has a.... uh...a...taste and...uh..wait a minute....that smell, is that????

I'm trying to mentally process this as she's spasming and jerking. Well, do you know how your pee smells after you've eaten asparagus? Yep. This realization finally hits me as I'm slurping that asparagus pee like a dog slurps toilet water. It's everywhere. In my mouth. I can't spit it out, so I swallow it. It's dripping off my face as she gets on all fours. I have nothing to wipe it with, so I let it drip down my chin, onto my chest and onto her azz.

I get my nut and off we go to clean up. I say nothing. Rather, I go about the business of destroying the evidence as before. This time, I remove the sheets, and go to the bathroom downstairs. I shower and thoroughly brush my teeth, mouth, throat, larynx, tonsils, esophagus, thyroid and upper intestine. I toss the toothbrush afterwards.

I still haven't said anything to her and I've decided I'm not going to because:

A. It would make her self concious about me going down on her, and I really like doing that

B. She might somehow associate the pi$$ing with having a finger in her bunghole, and I really like fingering her bunghole

C. I've tasted worse things than that aspargus pee

D. I'll never again serve asparagus on a night when I know I'm going to get some action

I'm going to lunch with her now. I think I'll try Mexican. What could possibly go wrong with that?

 

:puke: 


             

 

 

 

 

 


#69 joneo

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 09:32 PM

 

:puke: 

 

 

It could be. Likely from the dude that ate her out 2 hours earlier.  :dunno:


QUOTE
A thumbless Gollum, a wretched slave to NSFW links.

-phillybear

QUOTE
It is the most vile link he's ever posted. It makes tubgirl look like Mary ###### Poppins.

-Rusty Syringes

QUOTE
If joneo doesn't win, it'll be a slap in the face to turd slurpers everywhere.

--brinett9

 

 

If they held another election on November 9th, Trump would have lost the popular by 10 million and the electoral in a landslide. So many people didn't bother voting because the media was telling them Clinton was a lock by 10 points. And Trump's approval rating dropped from 47% to 37% just in the weeks between the election and inauguration.  Unless he can get someone to reign him in, I doubt he'll survive the four years, let alone any chance at being reelected.

 

 

Quote (Sho Nuff January 28, 2017)

At some point you will get it thru your head that...
A. You don't speak for everyone and don't understand the word literally
B. I don't give a flying Fock what you think of me. I will post my opinions and back them up as I have.

If that kisses you off...Fock you, I don't care.
My life outside the board is fine and none of your damn business.
Worry about yourself. Take a break since you don't care and think nobody cares.

 

 


#70 joneo

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 09:36 PM

Also, my ex girlfriend GUSHED. It definitely wasn't pee as it no way could have come out the uretha with such quantity. I would compare the amount that would come out of a garden hose for about 1 sec.  Totally doused the bed. 


QUOTE
A thumbless Gollum, a wretched slave to NSFW links.

-phillybear

QUOTE
It is the most vile link he's ever posted. It makes tubgirl look like Mary ###### Poppins.

-Rusty Syringes

QUOTE
If joneo doesn't win, it'll be a slap in the face to turd slurpers everywhere.

--brinett9

 

 

If they held another election on November 9th, Trump would have lost the popular by 10 million and the electoral in a landslide. So many people didn't bother voting because the media was telling them Clinton was a lock by 10 points. And Trump's approval rating dropped from 47% to 37% just in the weeks between the election and inauguration.  Unless he can get someone to reign him in, I doubt he'll survive the four years, let alone any chance at being reelected.

 

 

Quote (Sho Nuff January 28, 2017)

At some point you will get it thru your head that...
A. You don't speak for everyone and don't understand the word literally
B. I don't give a flying Fock what you think of me. I will post my opinions and back them up as I have.

If that kisses you off...Fock you, I don't care.
My life outside the board is fine and none of your damn business.
Worry about yourself. Take a break since you don't care and think nobody cares.

 

 


#71 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 20 March 2018 - 09:49 PM

Also, my ex girlfriend GUSHED. It definitely wasn't pee as it no way could have come out the uretha with such quantity. I would compare the amount that would come out of a garden hose for about 1 sec.  Totally doused the bed. 


That was my experience as well. And it kind of had an oily texture and a musky smell. Nothing like pee.

#72 vuduchile

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 06:02 AM

From mmmbeers post in the other thread:

Its pee with a small amount of prostatic secretions.

https://www.womenshe...ale-ejaculation

#73 wiffleball

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 06:29 AM

I knew this hot chick who took a class in how to squirt.

Kiegels baby.
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#74 Frozenbeernuts

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Posted 21 March 2018 - 07:38 AM

 
:puke: 


Really? That sounded like a good time to me!