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I've Got A New Nighttime Visitor.


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#1 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:45 AM

I like to read before going to bed. Now, most people read IN bed... but not me. I like to read outside.

We have a really nice outdoor living room/dining room/kitchen area that opens up off the back of the house. It's out by the pool, it's quiet, it's serene... it's the perfect place to enjoy a glass of wine and read a book before bed. I have never been disturbed out there...

So... it's Saturday night, and I'm curled up on the sofa with a nice glass of Viognier and Stephen King's The Wind Through the Keyhole . Out of the corner of my eye, I see something come sauntering into my little oasis. It's short and fuzzy and has a long tail. At first I thought it was a small kitten... I wait for it to come closer and when it does I realize that it's a 'possum!

Little guy came right up to the edge of the sofa! Cutest thing-until you see the mouthful of razor sharp teef it has.

He finally goes behind one of my plants and I take the opportunity to sneak inside. I got a little bowl and put some cat food in it and put it down over by the plant he disappeared behind. Not five minutes later, I hear him enthusiastically crunching away!

He's been back every night since then and I keep feeding him... :wub:

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#2 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:47 AM

Possums are rodents that represent one of the largest carriers of rabies. :dunno:
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#3 IGotWorms

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:48 AM

You can fit a possum in your hallway? :shocking:

#4 hoytdwow

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:49 AM

I got a little bowl and put some cat food in it and put it down over by the plant he disappeared behind. Not five minutes later, I hear him enthusiastically crunching away!

He's been back every night since then and I keep feeding him... :wub:

wow, you're dumb as fock

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#5 penultimatestraw

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:49 AM

You sure it isn't your neighbor's kid in an opossum suit?

#6 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:51 AM

Possums are rodents that represent one of the largest carriers of rabies. :dunno:

Actually, I just got done reading that 'possums are highly resistant to rabies, so IDK...

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#7 IGotWorms

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:51 AM

Over/under on the number of days until OldMaid posts about a possum infestation?

Any chance we can get ~Stick out there to deal with the problem, or is he too busy pretending he could hold elected office?

#8 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:56 AM

You sure it isn't your neighbor's kid in an opossum suit?

Quality post! :lol:

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#9 Mungwater

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:57 AM

http://m.flickr.com/...nes/2403154561/

#10 IGotWorms

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 11:58 AM

http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/doodlebugdezines/2403154561/


This particular post would've been a lot funnier as an embedded pic. Hmm, I might go change my vote in BLS's thread...

#11 MDC

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:00 PM

I thought you were going to say your night visitor is hot flashes. :dunno:

I see possum in Philly from time to time. They like cat food and will come right up to humans, literally a foot or more away, if you feed them. You'd expect them to freak cats out but they totally ignore each other - I don't think cats recognize them as food or a threat. They're pretty f'ing ugly though. Oh and they may be resistant to rabies but they're probably covered in fleas and other disease - I would not encourage one to spend time near my house if I were you.
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#12 penultimatestraw

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:04 PM

Possums are rodents that represent one of the largest carriers of rabies. :dunno:

Or they are marsupials which rarely contract the disease. :blink:

Skunks, raccoons, foxes and bats carry it more commonly in the US. Rodents of all types are rarely found infected. Woodchucks are one exception.

#13 Mungwater

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:05 PM

I thought you were going to say your night visitor is hot flashes. :dunno:

I see possum in Philly from time to time. They like cat food and will come right up to humans, literally a foot or more away, if you feed them. You'd expect them to freak cats out but they totally ignore each other - I don't think cats recognize them as food or a threat. They're pretty f'ing ugly though. Oh and they may be resistant to rabies but they're probably covered in fleas and other disease - I would not encourage one to spend time near my house if I were you.


If she was my neighbor i'd encourage her to use cat food laundry detergent

#14 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:08 PM

Actually, I just got done reading that 'possums are highly resistant to rabies, so IDK...


Well, I was joking about the rabies, but I don't see where they are "highly resistent" to rabies. I read that they are more susceptible to airborne infection than via bites, but they get rabies.

Even the possumbuttfockingsociety (a.k.a. opossumsocietyus.org) says that "Feeding wildlife is not recommended.". They say that possum rabies is "extremely rare".
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

#15 Patriotsfatboy1

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:10 PM

Or they are marsupials which rarely contract the disease. :blink:

Skunks, raccoons, foxes and bats carry it more commonly in the US. Rodents of all types are rarely found infected. Woodchucks are one exception.


I guess you missed where I said that Cruzer had the AIDS as well. If I give you a one-liner, chances are it is a joke. HTH.
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#16 penultimatestraw

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:16 PM

Well, I was joking about the rabies, but I don't see where they are "highly resistent" to rabies. I read that they are more susceptible to airborne infection than via bites, but they get rabies.

Even the possumbuttfockingsociety (a.k.a. opossumsocietyus.org) says that "Feeding wildlife is not recommended.". They say that possum rabies is "extremely rare".

The opossum society http://www.opossum.org/ states they are more resistant to rabies than any other mammal. :thumbsdown:

I guess you missed where I said that Cruzer had the AIDS as well. If I give you a one-liner, chances are it is a joke. HTH.

Rabies is no laughing matter, nor is trans-species slander.

Get it, your post would actually be libel! :lol:

#17 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:21 PM

I thought you were going to say your night visitor is hot flashes. :dunno:

I see possum in Philly from time to time. They like cat food and will come right up to humans, literally a foot or more away, if you feed them. You'd expect them to freak cats out but they totally ignore each other - I don't think cats recognize them as food or a threat. They're pretty f'ing ugly though. Oh and they may be resistant to rabies but they're probably covered in fleas and other disease - I would not encourage one to spend time near my house if I were you.

Right now it's only the size of a 6 month old kitten... so it's actually quite cute. And I never allow my cats to go outside, so I'm not sure the flea thing is a problem.

I'm considering calling to have it re-homed, but I'm not sure if it has a family or anything... Not quite sure what I should do. It's not hurting anything, so... :dunno:

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#18 jerryskids

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:23 PM

How many orgs are there which are dedicatd to opossums? Do they shoot them? Cook them? :wacko:
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#19 TimmySmith

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:33 PM

Fattening it up, smart move.

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#20 penultimatestraw

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 12:35 PM

How many orgs are there which are dedicatd to opossums? Do they shoot them? Cook them? :wacko:

When ignorance is more rabid than the critters themselves, we need a few .orgs to educate the unwashed masses!

#21 phillybear

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 01:10 PM

They like cat food and will come right up to humans, literally a foot or more away, if you feed them. You'd expect them to freak cats out but they totally ignore each other - I don't think cats recognize them as food or a threat. They're pretty f'ing ugly though.


Agreed.

From what the bits and pieces of stuff I've heard over the year, the Chinese emigrated to this country, and brought the possums with them since they were domesticated and were pets for them. They have a life expectancy of 3-4 years. And they are a source of protein in stews and/or cooked over an open flame for many woodsy people in this country. :dunno:

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#22 porkbutt

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 01:17 PM

I like to read before going to bed. Now, most people read IN bed... but not me. I like to read outside.

We have a really nice outdoor living room/dining room/kitchen area that opens up off the back of the house. It's out by the pool, it's quiet, it's serene... it's the perfect place to enjoy a glass of wine and read a book before bed. I have never been disturbed out there...

So... it's Saturday night, and I'm curled up on the sofa with a nice glass of Viognier and Stephen King's The Wind Through the Keyhole . Out of the corner of my eye, I see something come sauntering into my little oasis. It's short and fuzzy and has a long tail. At first I thought it was a small kitten... I wait for it to come closer and when it does I realize that it's a 'possum!

Little guy came right up to the edge of the sofa! Cutest thing-until you see the mouthful of razor sharp teef it has.

He finally goes behind one of my plants and I take the opportunity to sneak inside. I got a little bowl and put some cat food in it and put it down over by the plant he disappeared behind. Not five minutes later, I hear him enthusiastically crunching away!

He's been back every night since then and I keep feeding him... :wub:

a dude curled up with a wine and book out near the pool calling possums cute and giving them cat food. the thing obviously sensed you're a flaming homo and knew you wouldn't do squat you limp wristed halfa man.

#23 SUXBNME

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 01:44 PM

This thread is worthless without pics of your...uhhh...Possum :mad:

#24 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 02:04 PM

Agreed.

From what the bits and pieces of stuff I've heard over the year, the Chinese emigrated to this country, and brought the possums with them since they were domesticated and were pets for them. They have a life expectancy of 3-4 years. And they are a source of protein in stews and/or cooked over an open flame for many woodsy people in this country. :dunno:



I've eaten possum stew. I played dead after my second bowl.

All my flavors are guranteed to satisfy.


#25 NorthernVike

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 02:46 PM

Possum and Taters

Ingredients:
1 young, fat possum
8 sweet potatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon sugar
salt

Directions: First, catch a possum. This in itself is excellent entertainment on a moonlight night. Skin the possum and remove the head and feet. Be sure to wash it thoroughly. Freeze overnight either outside or in a refrigerator. When ready to cook, peel the potatoes and boil them tender in lightly salted water along with the butter and sugar. At the same time, stew the possum tender in a tightly covered pan with a little water. Arrange the taters around the possum, strip with bacon, sprinkle with thyme or marjoram, or pepper, and brown in the oven. Baste often with the drippings.

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You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#26 NorthernVike

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 02:46 PM

Stuffed Possum

1 possum (whole)
1 qt. cold water
1/8 cup salt
5 beef bouillon cubes
2 bay leaves
3 celery stalks (chopped)
2 onions (sliced)
1 bag packaged stuffing

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Soak possum in cold salt water for 10 hours. Rinse meat in cold water and refrigerate 2-4 hours. Prepare stuffing according to package directions. Stuff possum cavity with prepared packaged stuffing. Close cavity tightly. Place stuffed possum in roasting pan, add water, bouillon cubes, bay leaves, celery and onion. After 2 hours turn meat. Reduce heat to 300 degrees. Cook for 1 more hour. Test roast, if not done reduce heat and cook until done.

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You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#27 NorthernVike

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 02:47 PM

Cajun Possum Chili - NUCLEAR HOT !!!

Ingredients:
Tomatoe Sauce (depends on possum)
1 tsp.-1 cup Chili Powder (Depends on Taste and possum)
1 Large possum or 3 small (If you ran over the possum better make it 4)
1 large pot or two large ones if the first isn't enough.
5-10 chili peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 red peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 jalapenio peppers (depends on taste and possum)
How ever much Cayenne Pepper you like, it depends on your taste and possum.
1 tsp. Black Pepper
a pinch of salt
Chili Beans for extra flavor
And whatever other ingredients that are hot and spicy you would like to add.

Directions:
1. Skin possum(s)
2. Remove internal organs, head, claws, and bones. There is no flavor or use for these. But if you want to add them, Go ahead.
3. Put some tomatoe sauce in the pot(s). Then add the possum.
4. Chop peppers
5. Skip step four if you don't want chopped peppers; it doesn't matter.
6. Put the rest in and let set for a long dang while.
7. Before serving make sure you have enough bread, Milk, and Toliet paper for after dinner.
8. Serve. Enjoy
9. Race for bathroom. Whoever is first will make a large stench. Have enough air freshner.
Serving size of Meal-depends on how much you put in and on the possum.

Warning-You're a redneck if you try this. (Either that or you like really hot chili.) May cause sudden urges to go to the bathroom. May cause burned tongues and mouths. May cause severe indigestion!! ---Anonymous :doublethumbsup:

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You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#28 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 03:19 PM

Cajun Possum Chili - NUCLEAR HOT !!!

Ingredients:
Tomatoe Sauce (depends on possum)
1 tsp.-1 cup Chili Powder (Depends on Taste and possum)
1 Large possum or 3 small (If you ran over the possum better make it 4)
1 large pot or two large ones if the first isn't enough.
5-10 chili peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 red peppers (depends on taste and possum)
5-10 jalapenio peppers (depends on taste and possum)
How ever much Cayenne Pepper you like, it depends on your taste and possum.
1 tsp. Black Pepper
a pinch of salt
Chili Beans for extra flavor
And whatever other ingredients that are hot and spicy you would like to add.

Directions:
1. Skin possum(s)
2. Remove internal organs, head, claws, and bones. There is no flavor or use for these. But if you want to add them, Go ahead.
3. Put some tomatoe sauce in the pot(s). Then add the possum.
4. Chop peppers
5. Skip step four if you don't want chopped peppers; it doesn't matter.
6. Put the rest in and let set for a long dang while.
7. Before serving make sure you have enough bread, Milk, and Toliet paper for after dinner.
8. Serve. Enjoy
9. Race for bathroom. Whoever is first will make a large stench. Have enough air freshner.
Serving size of Meal-depends on how much you put in and on the possum.

Warning-You're a redneck if you try this. (Either that or you like really hot chili.) May cause sudden urges to go to the bathroom. May cause burned tongues and mouths. May cause severe indigestion!! ---Anonymous :doublethumbsup:

I wonder if I can substitute the 'possum with a Northern Minnesota redrenck that likes to ice fish? :unsure:

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#29 BunnysBastatrds

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 03:27 PM

I wonder if I can substitute the 'possum with a Northern Minnesota redrenck that likes to ice fish? :unsure:



I bet he tastes like queer beaver.

All my flavors are guranteed to satisfy.


#30 NorthernVike

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 05:39 PM

I wonder if I can substitute the 'possum with a Northern Minnesota redrenck that likes to ice fish? :unsure:

You can eat me anytime you want darling :wub:

Being an ass hole is all part of my manly essence

 

 



You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#31 NorthernVike

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 05:41 PM

I bet he tastes like queer beaver.

Is there a bounty on queer beavers in da south?






*

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You guys have no focking clue what happened so you really should just shut it..

 


#32 Gepetto

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 06:04 PM

You're supposed to kill it, not feed it. LOL

#33 Little Rusty

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 06:08 PM

I wonder if I can substitute the 'possum with a Northern Minnesota redrenck that likes to ice fish? :unsure:


You can eat me anytime you want darling :wub:

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#34 OldMaid

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 06:51 PM

Muskrat Suzi & Muskrat Sam

Wait! How the hell do you know my name? :skeered:

1. She did. She got tired of Greenpeace pushing her "back" into the ocean, so she came home.
2. The Beach!?! And let some freeloading hermit crab claim squatters rights on her hallway?
3. If she gets sand in that hallway, she will eventually produce the worlds largest pearl.


#35 SUXBNME

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 08:08 PM

Muskrat Suzi & Muskrat Sam

I used to imagine that I lived in Muskrat land :(

#36 gocolts

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 08:12 PM

Muskrat Suzi & Muskrat Sam

I was going to say Muskrat Love
Go Colts!!!!

#37 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:07 PM

Anyone else wanna jihad the possum society forum? I'm thinking we join slowly, and then start making a lot of "so how do I remove a possum from my colon" threads.
Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world.
-- Voltaire (The French one, not the Chinese one)

#38 southcarolina

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:13 PM

Anyone else wanna jihad the possum society forum? I'm thinking we join slowly, and then start making a lot of "so how do I remove a possum from my colon" threads.


I wanna be the guy who cant grasp that possums and raccoons arent the same animal.
Come on down to the hotel, baby. I can be what you want me to be. You can choke on your own medication, and i can watch myself on tv. Shut your mouth you big f*cking baby. I cant be what you want me to be. Go on choke on your own medication. I can tell you a lie you'll believe, yeah yeah.

#39 Little Rusty

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:17 PM

Wait! How the hell do you know my name? :skeered:

:lol: .......that's HOT!!!

I've dated lots of Suzi's & Debbie's

Check out some of my ART and maybe even buy something ! B)

 

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#40 titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:17 PM

I wanna be the guy who cant grasp that possums and raccoons arent the same animal.


Perfect. And maybe at some point, reveal that you are actually using the word "possum" like many people use "coon", as a substitute for the N-word.

And of course, someone can pretend to be running a possum fighting ring, and ask for training tips.
Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world.
-- Voltaire (The French one, not the Chinese one)