My wife did some waterproofing yesterday. She used a discarded Lipton Green Tea plastic bottle to contain the sealer. You know - the same Lipton Green Tea that I like to drink on the way to work. I am estimating 2-3 ounces went down the hatch. Poison Control Center said to try not to barf. Great day.

Wouldn't they want it out of your system?

end it

F U

They said if I brought it back up it may damage my esophagus. I really would like to vomit.

Good news though...your stomach lining is now safe from the sun's harmful UV rays.

Don't go away mad...

I bet last night in the gloryhole provided you with enough of a protective layer that you should be OK

Did she put it in the fridge?
Or do you like them warm and in bottles that have been opened before?

There was about a third of the bottle left from before breakfast, so it was mostly warm. I was just just going to take it with me on the ten minute drive to work.

focking lightweight

If you do end up puking, could you do me a favor and do it on my porch. TIA

Bad news, it's now sealed and prevented from absorbing nutrients.

Good news, once it passes through (and coats your insides) you can start a new career as a drug smuggler!

So your wife put this bottle the drink holder in your vehicle, so it was ready for you on your way to work?

OK, that was funny.

BTW, do you think I'll sh1t some floaters?

Actually, he should do it on Brinett9's fence. He's letting it go to hell.

Engrish?

Hell yeah, you will.

Thompson's is created to repell water. It should be quite a battle of water vs. water repellant. Your turds may go one better than flaot- they may hover above the water.

Your wife is trying to kill you.. HTH

Oh. It crossed my mind.

Birdseed: WTF you trying to do? Kill me?
Birdseed's Wife: If I were trying to kill you it would be much more painful than that.
Birdseed:

You married Phillybear?

Don't sweat it. That crap does not work anyway. Thompson's is to water repellents as the Royals are to baseball. Poor imitations.

So, your wife used a "discarded" bottle.

You picked up said "discarded" bottle to use again?

Who drinks from containers that were put in the trash?


Assuming that discarded = in the trash, else how would you know it was discarded?

Is this sorta like the TO thing last year?

This shouldn't be hard to understand.

I was drinking a newly opened green tea this morning. I set it down with 1/3 left. She was waterproofing yesterday using an identical container and left the bottle about 1/3 full. The liquids are remarkably close in color. When I left, I accidently grabbed the wrong bottle.

Now I'm eating crackers, sipping on some water, and trying not to yack.

Swallow a 2 x 4.

Let us know if your poo floats.

Did it taste good? I'm in the market for a new beverage.

That's what you get for drinking from the container!

Did you die?

she was just getting you back for making her do the waterproofing in the first place.

Didn't you think to read the label? "DO NOT INGEST"

Here's your SIGN!

So let me get this straight: you're wife "accidentally" put something poisonous into your drink? How is your life insurance policy looking anyway?

You should give your wife an accidental pink sock when you have MUA tonight.

Get your wife back by shooting a load of sperm/thompsons water seal mixture into her eye.

That is a 3 stooges episode if I ever saw one. Larry putts the glue in a coffee cup identical to the one Moe is drinking from and Moe picks up the coffee mug with the glue and drinks. His mouth is glued shut and hilarity continues.

When did Bill Engval start posting here?


BTW, are you going to beat your wife senseless for leaving this container in a location that would make you think it was iced tea? "Hmm...I will just leave this Thompson's Water Seal right here on the kitchen counter and not clean up and throw it away. Maybe Birdseed will drink it, I can get the insurance money and focking PAY someone to do this ###### in the future. YEAH!"

I told that dumb b1tch to mix it with the ice tea!

Can't anybody follow directions, anymore.

Similar thing happened to me a few years ago.
I had changed the oil in my van and put the used oil in an old Welch's grape
juice plastic container, filled right to the top, and left it out in the garage.
My now ex-wife mistook the bottle for a new bottle of grape juice and took it
from the garage and put it in the fridge.
So not knowing this, I poured the oil into a glass and started to take a drink.
The second it touched my lips I realized what had happened.
You do not want to know what used motor oil tastes like, not to mention how
tough it is to get that taste out of your mouth.

I didn't know you were black.

Back in the late teens/ early 20's me and the fellas were into the skoal chewing tobaccy for awhile. Here's what I learned:
1. Swapping spit with your friends is not the way to go. Especially when it's a 4 day old spittoon cup you mistake as your fast food beverage.
2. Taco bell spittoon cups will only last two days on a coffee table before the bottom breaks through.
3. McDonald's cups would last nearly 4 days.

Yes it was disgusting and yes we were slobs.

So let me get this straight, your wife did the water proofing and you did the swallowing?

Oh, I forgot to relay how my frantic call to the Poison Control Center (PCC) went, while I am spitting a mixture of flammable liquid and fumes:

PCC: Poison Control Center, this is Migel.
Birdseed: Yeah, I just accidentally swallowed some Thomspon's Water Seal.
PCC: How much did you swallow?
Birdseed: At least a couple ounces.
PCC: Do you smoke?
Birdseed: Occassionally.
PCC: Well, I wouldn't light one up right now.
Birdseed: OK