*SPOILERS*. Why I think last Jedi sucked

[Mungwater 588]

Okay, Ive always been a big fan, but this one sucked ass.

 

The two biggest questions after the force awakens was who was Reys parents and who the hell was snoke. Both got answered with a total dud of nobody.

 

Lactating deal alien thing

 

Too many one liners that added nothing.

 

Casino planet that added nothing

 

So this rose girl was a pipe fitter one day, next shes at the forefront of the rebellion?

 

Why is there a rebellion? How did the first order come into power?

 

Captain phantasm has blaster proof armor? How come the other guys dont have it?

 

Leia fvcking poppins..

 

Snoke can hear all of Kylos thoughts, but he cant hear a 40 year old lightsaber rattling on a metal table right next to him?

 

Like giving the map to R2, if you need me, Fock you Im not going

 

Luke sees a little of good in his dad, goes to save him. Sees a sliver of bad in his nephew, son of his sister and best friend, Ill kill that fvcker

 

 

Poe added nothing, the benecio del toro added nothing, rose added nothing. Just very sloppy writing

[IGotWorms 3,297]

All true but I enjoyed the last half immensely. Very clever too how there is red EVERYWHERE to symbolize all the blood spilled in the saga which is never actually shown. Fock in the last part on that one planet they were literally awash in blood.

 

Anyway, it was flawed as hell but I liked it. Not saying its the best but definitely better than those three sh1tty ass prequels

[Mungwater 588]

All true but I enjoyed the last half immensely. Very clever too how there is red EVERYWHERE to symbolize all the blood spilled in the saga which is never actually shown. Fock in the last part on that one planet they were literally awash in blood.

 

Anyway, it was flawed as hell but I liked it. Not saying its the best but definitely better than those three sh1tty ass prequels

How could you enjoy the last half? There was a guy willing to sacrifice himself to save the rebellion, only to be thwarted by a three to day she loves him, and they took a half hour to fly there but h drags her back in three minutes? And the AT-ATs wouldnt attack the thirty dudes in the trench?

 

Even titans wouldnt fall for a bland Asain that hard.

[NorthernVike 2,079]

 

 

Even titans wouldnt fall for a bland Asain that hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Altho I'm not so sure about that.

[IGotWorms 3,297]

How could you enjoy the last half? There was a guy willing to sacrifice himself to save the rebellion, only to be thwarted by a three to day she loves him, and they took a half hour to fly there but h drags her back in three minutes? And the AT-ATs wouldnt attack the thirty dudes in the trench?

 

Even titans wouldnt fall for a bland Asain that hard.

 

Yes that's all true. I mean, if you pick it apart the movie is terrible.

 

Kylo Ren and Rey, WTF? He doesn't have the balls to kill her, then all of a sudden yes he does, except actually nope he didn't all along and now they're buddies, but no they can't be buddies they come from two different worlds...it's just silly.

 

The black stormtrooper guy has just sucked all along, the asian gal was super annoying to boot.

 

What the hell did Benicio Del Toro have to do with anything? Justin Theroux? What the fock was any of that sh1t about?

 

That whole Luke Skywalker hissy fit that dragged on and on, on his stupid little island? Jesus, enough already.

 

The little jokes were silly, and that's not what Star Wars has been about. Yeah maybe some sly comedy with Han Solo, C3PO and Chewbacca back in the day but it was always understated. Not those stupid standard action movie quips.

 

I mean yeah, it was dumb. But the fight scenes were cool and stuff

[DonS 3,063]

I really enjoyed how Rey and Kylo were like Force skyping. Good thing Luke showed up before Kylo pulled out his d1ck.

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,563]

would have been better if Rey had to kill Luke, cause he eventually turned Dark and she would then have to contemplate starting the cycle again by procreating

[frank 2,143]

would have been better if Rey had to kill Luke, cause he eventually turned Dark and she would then have to contemplate starting the cycle again by procreating

.

 

And she chooses Darth OOTMFFOTB. Have you been reading my fan fiction?

[frank 2,143]

Benicia Del Toro betrayed them by telling the stormtroopers that those small ships were getting away. Couldn't they see that by looking out the window?

 

I think they screwed up and had Yoda say a couple of sentences normally.

 

Also, maybe I missed an important part of the explanation, but what I remember is:

 

It's impossible to track a ship at light speed.

 

Hmmm

 

They must have a tracker!

[Mungwater 588]

Ill say again, leia fvcking poppins

[IGotWorms 3,297]

I really enjoyed how Rey and Kylo were like Force skyping. Good thing Luke showed up before Kylo pulled out his d1ck.

You know Rey was flicking her bean that whole time. Women love that sh1t

[vuduchile 1,940]

All of this and more.

 

It was truly an awful movie.

[Cloaca du jour 2,064]

Wtf is ootmffotb?

[tanatastic 2,061]

Agree with all, plus more. Leia should have died with the blown up ship, Luke died for no reason, Asian sidekick for no reason. Kylo sexualized for no reason with Rey, pointless Snoke death, no interesting Rey parentage resolve. Best part of the movie was Yoda and the cute little porg creatures.

 

A better angle for Luke would have been to actually be there with the rebels. He could still avoid the blaster fire using an awe inspiring force shield with cool effects creating a great moment. Then with the fight with Kylo he could have done the same as Obi Wan did with Vader and sacrifice himself to become one with the force. He died anyway, whats the difference?

[IGotWorms 3,297]

Is Luke dead? I mustve missed that

[tanatastic 2,061]

Is Luke dead? I mustve missed that

Yes because it was dumb. He used force projection to hologram himself in the kylo fight. Then back on the island he was exhausted and just faded away after being at peace. No cause of death, it was lame.

[IGotWorms 3,297]

Yes because it was dumb. He used force projection to hologram himself in the kylo fight. Then back on the island he was exhausted and just faded away after being at peace. No cause of death, it was lame.

So basically he was a giant pvssy. No wonder he was so g0ddamned whiny in the original movies

[DonS 3,063]

All those poor caretakers on the island have no jobs/life now. No Jedis and Yoda burned that muthafocka down.

[Mungwater 588]

All those poor caretakers on the island have no jobs/life now. No Jedis and Yoda burned that muthafocka down.

Thats another thing, I didnt know that force ghosts could do anything in the real world.. if they can, can you force ghost your ass over to take care of this big gun there yoda?

[tanatastic 2,061]

Thats another thing, I didnt know that force ghosts could do anything in the real world.. if they can, can you force ghost your ass over to take care of this big gun there yoda?

That was a little bit much. I’ll just go with only the most powerful Jedi can break the plane.

[frank 2,143]

That was a little bit much. Ill just go with only the most powerful Jedi can break the plane.

So, Luke > Jesse James?

[Beyond Chaos 75]

So, Luke > Jesse James?

Luke would have used a jedi mind trick to convince the refs that the ruling on the field should stand.

 

On another note, I agree the plot of the movie was half-@$$ed for many of the reasons Mung stated.

[Mike Honcho 3,994]

Ill say again, leia fvcking poppins

+1

[tanatastic 2,061]

Ill say again, leia fvcking poppins

Was a great scene with what I assumed was her dramatic send off til that. Then was deflated. That’s the reoccurring theme with all the main conflicts and reveals of the movie that we’re supposed to be the money scenes. Build up, expectations, disappointment. Snoke and Rey face to face, disappointment. Rey’s parentage reveal, disappointment. Luke and Kylo face off, disappointment. These were the key scenes of the whole new trilogy that were supposed to make the third highly anticipated.

[KSB2424 3,082]

I ignored this thread until right now; took the family to see it this afternoon.

 

I thought it was great.

 

Its freaking Star Wars. The originals had a bit of a campy feel to them. I thought this one did that too.

 

Its Star Wars, the force, aliens, all kinds of crazy stuff that is for adults, but geared to kids too.

 

If youre going in to it trying to pick apart unreal things, then yeah, youll have a field day.

[KSB2424 3,082]

Also, Im assuming the code breaker guy will show up in another movie. Some of it was character introduction. At least my assumption.

[nobody 2,031]

I messed up in the theaters. When they did the dramatic hyper space kamikaze run where they shut off the sound for a few seconds, I wasn't expecting that, and I leaned over to my friend and said, "Oh, that's all it took? Why the fock didn't they do that a half hour ago." But I said it at a volume just high enough to compensate for the movie noise so he could just hear me, but right when I started talking they cut to complete silence and it came out pretty loud. Most people just laughed, but I basically ruined the big dramatic payoff scene by accident.

 

My criticism still stands tough. You have a fleet of ships. If hyperspeeding into an enemy fleet causes that kind of damage, why did they sacrifice all of their support ships. They could have just evacuated everyone off the other ships (which they did anyway) and hypersped damn near the whole armada into the enemy fleet instead of letting them all run out of gas and let them get blown up. And for that matter, why the hell do they even have those slow ass bombers. Just build giant vessels that you'll use just to hyperspeed through enemy ships. The hyperspeed kamikaze tactic opens a huge can of worms in my eyes. I mean , they could've just hypersped a ton of ships into the deathstar for that matter. That tactic is basically a WMD and no one uses it?

[KSB2424 3,082]

I mean, who can choke somebody without touching them?

 

Dumb

[KSB2424 3,082]

Luke died because he used all his life force (energy) to go beyond the normal bounds of a Jedi. Yoda said, paraphrasing, its the curse of a master to watch the apprentice go beyond ourselves.

 

Also, there is a really short runway before one takes off at light speed and the vanishes to another place. It has to be close to the mother ship so the tie fighters cant fire but far enough away to gain light speed. A perfect storm. Not to mention the whole suicide aspect whilst doing so.

 

Also, Also, is a focking movie. About space and Jedi and aliens and shiot. Sheesh.

[tanatastic 2,061]

I ignored this thread until right now; took the family to see it this afternoon.

I thought it was great.

Its freaking Star Wars. The originals had a bit of a campy feel to them. I thought this one did that too.

Its Star Wars, the force, aliens, all kinds of crazy stuff that is for adults, but geared to kids too.

If youre going in to it trying to pick apart unreal things, then yeah, youll have a field day.

It was a reasonably well made movie and nothing really wrong with it from a non hardcore fans perspective. Decent acting, action, effects etc. Hence why the critics liked it way more than the people. Its just disappointing as an entry of the saga to fans and didn’t deliver on what we were hoping for. I still had a good time, just wasn’t satisfying and left me with no anticipation for the 3rd one.

[nobody 2,031]

I'm by no means a hardcore fan and I thought it had some serious flaws. Mainly the hyperspeed thing. It just doesn't make sense that that option was on the table all this time.

 

The other was dead people throwing lightening bolts. Hey asshõle why don't you show up to a couple battles and throw lightening bolts at people?

[IGotWorms 3,297]

I messed up in the theaters. When they did the dramatic hyper space kamikaze run where they shut off the sound for a few seconds, I wasn't expecting that, and I leaned over to my friend and said, "Oh, that's all it took? Why the fock didn't they do that a half hour ago." But I said it at a volume just high enough to compensate for the movie noise so he could just hear me, but right when I started talking they cut to complete silence and it came out pretty loud. Most people just laughed, but I basically ruined the big dramatic payoff scene by accident.

 

My criticism still stands tough. You have a fleet of ships. If hyperspeeding into an enemy fleet causes that kind of damage, why did they sacrifice all of their support ships. They could have just evacuated everyone off the other ships (which they did anyway) and hypersped damn near the whole armada into the enemy fleet instead of letting them all run out of gas and let them get blown up. And for that matter, why the hell do they even have those slow ass bombers. Just build giant vessels that you'll use just to hyperspeed through enemy ships. The hyperspeed kamikaze tactic opens a huge can of worms in my eyes. I mean ######, they could've just hypersped a ton of ships into the deathstar for that matter. That tactic is basically a WMD and no one uses it?

Agreed

[TD Ryan2 314]

I agree with the OP, Mung.

 

You know in the Polar Express how the bell stops ringing eventually? Yeah, my Star Wars bell just stopped ringing. I wish it didnt. I wanna keep liking it. But its so poorly written, so cheesy.

The Hangar blows up but Finn and PlainChink are the only ones not blowed up?

Lukes stupid dust my shoulder after being unaffected by hundreds of blasters? So dumb.

[Saint Elistan 106]

Okay, Ive always been a big fan, but this one sucked ass.

 

The two biggest questions after the force awakens was who was Reys parents and who the hell was snoke. Both got answered with a total dud of nobody.

Snoke will get a book. Not sure I really believe that her parents are "nobodies". But the Skywalker's started as slaves.

 

Lactating deal alien thing

I didn't mind this. Wish it had been blue...but I thought it was a good call back to the other films.

 

Too many one liners that added nothing.

Yeah, Poe & Hux in the beginning took me right out of it. Some of the other humor, like the Porgs in the cockpit, felt right.

 

Casino planet that added nothing

I disagree here. The mission was, yes, ultimately pointless and felt a little forced to begin with, but the character development for Finn and Rose was essential. It was in Canto Bight that Finn finally made his decision to join the Rebellion.

 

So this rose girl was a pipe fitter one day, next shes at the forefront of the rebellion?

That's the beauty of the rebellion, though, isn't it? The Cobalt Squadron novel gives her a better origin, but the Rebellion has always been sorta the "working class" thrust into conflict, no?

 

Why is there a rebellion? How did the first order come into power?

The Bloodline Novel would do wonders for you here. It's extremely well written. "Rebellion" is kinda a stretch because technically they labeled themselves as a "Resistance" and I agree that's kinda convoluted. The group just had to distance themselves from the New Republic because the New Republic didn't want to force conflict with the First Order - a costly mistake. Leia had to forsake the Senate to become a Resistance General.

 

Captain phantasm has blaster proof armor? How come the other guys dont have it?

Yeah, I got nuffin.

 

Leia fvcking poppins..

Yeah, I got nuffin. I'm Marry Poppins, ya'll!!

 

Snoke can hear all of Kylos thoughts, but he cant hear a 40 year old lightsaber rattling on a metal table right next to him?

Like most masters, he was overconfident. I think it is implied, however, that Kylo was mimicking his force movements with his actual lightsaber to trick Snoke, so his thoughts would not betray him.

 

Luke sees a little of good in his dad, goes to save him. Sees a sliver of bad in his nephew, son of his sister and best friend, Ill kill that fvcker

He wasn't going to go through with it though...I agree it seemed out of character, but wasn't that the whole point? Luke stopped himself, but Kylo had already reacted. And it's not like Luke was wrong...Kylo wouldn't have done what he did if there wasn't already some major "focked up" shite in that kids head. If Luke had commited, he would have saved Hosnian Prime - there is no official count but there had to have been hundreds of millions killed by Starkiller Base.

 

Poe added nothing, the benecio del toro added nothing, rose added nothing. Just very sloppy writing

I was really disappointed in the use of Poe and them blowing up the Black One. Ugh. I liked Rose and DJ, though. DJ added some perspective to the conflict. Rose was the "Hope". The inspired populace. Vice Admiral Holdo, though, she stole the damn show in her scenes. Wow.

[Saint Elistan 106]

Also, Im assuming the code breaker guy will show up in another movie. Some of it was character introduction. At least my assumption.

 

I know he's getting a one-off comic book soon!

[nobody 2,031]

Benicio is the new version of bobba fet

[Saint Elistan 106]

I'm reading the Canto Bight novel right now. It's just a collection of short stories. They all take place prior to The Force Awakens, but it really adds a lot to the planet and city we see in the film.

[mobb_deep 917]

How could you enjoy the last half? There was a guy willing to sacrifice himself to save the rebellion, only to be thwarted by a three to day she loves him, and they took a half hour to fly there but h drags her back in three minutes? And the AT-ATs wouldnt attack the thirty dudes in the trench?

 

Even titans wouldnt fall for a bland Asain that hard.

Its a movie for 12 year olds. Quit overthinking it.

 

It was good and cool and fun. My daughter loved it.