RLLD 3,455 Posted November 29, 2018 ...can touch MC Hammer..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 29, 2018 .....lost his virginity before his dad did 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 29, 2018 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,143 Posted November 29, 2018 is so badass that people made up a bunch of dumb jokes on the internet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 29, 2018 God never makes an appearance on earth because Chuck Norris won't let him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,541 Posted November 29, 2018 Climate change is really just Chuck ripping some silent and deadlies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted November 30, 2018 I think of these as Drobeski facts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TimmySmith 2,782 Posted November 30, 2018 Counted to infinity...twice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Was MY biotch in prison. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 830 Posted November 30, 2018 ... is not a dead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted November 30, 2018 If at first you don't succeed...you're not Chuck Norris.  I love these things  Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 5,875 Posted November 30, 2018 When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesnt get wet. Â Water gets Chuck Norris. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,157 Posted November 30, 2018 When Chuck Norris does pushups the earth moves, not him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris can hear sign language. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you die...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his living room, it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris was born on May 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day. Coincidence? I think not! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,282 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his living room, it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris is 1/8 Native American but it has nothing to do with his geneology. He ate a whole Indian once. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris is 1/8 Native American but it has nothing to do with his geology. He ate a Elizabeth Warren once. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris's pulse is measured on the Richter scale. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Filthy Fernadez 2,696 Posted November 30, 2018 Opening scene of 'Saving Private Ryan' was based on Chuck's first grade dodge ball game. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris once had a race with the speed of light, and won by the speed of sound. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 830 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sderk 1,040 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris took a lie detector test once, and the test administrator ended up crying tears of joy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad99 400 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. Once on Hiroshima & once on Nagasaki. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,079 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RLLD 3,455 Posted November 30, 2018 Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
