zen

I'm just trumping it up. It's nice to visit, but trust me: you don't want to live here.

Yea? I live in the town where the top 1% of the hottest girls end up, and it's warm and sunny YEAR ROUND. also I occasionally see porn stars

I used to make something as deadly as this at this pub I worked at in college. I took a thick monster hot dog, split it in two, grilled it with grease and onions, then put it on a sub roll. Then I'd pour melted processed cheese down the middle and top it off with so much chili that it'd fall out the sides. I served it in a box, so the chili and cheese wouldn't spill all over the floor. I called it the Cardiac Arrest. It tasted focking awesome, but you could feel your arteries clogging as you ate it. Some people would sit at the bar and smoke and drink while chowing one down. RIP. that bit about the hot dog is begging quote manip.

When you hit MUTE on your volume control, it's pretty sweet.

Live at the Met was hilarious and full of "jokes."

You do realize that pitching is just a torturous action on the body, right? It can also take some pitchers years to get good in the majors. Look at Aaron Small. Last year was the first year he did jack shiit and the dude is like 34 years old. Granted, that's a lot different from the level Gagne reached, but crazy stuff happens with pitchers. Yes, he could've been on roids. But it's equally possible he just bloomed late, then had some terrible luck.

I'd lure you back to my bar....

I always thought John Williams' The Imperial March would be awesome if done by a hardcore industrial band like Ministry. Come to think of it, Tool would do a good version of that too.

So that confirms it: TK and Burt are the same person.

[Evil Zen] Pro. But only if they take the aborted fetus and secretly cook it into a meat pie for the inmate's last meal, then tell her just before they fry her. [/Evil Zen]

No way. You're one of the revolving guest entertainers that play in Issac's lounge. Come on, your role is the easiest to figure out, funnyman.

Issac the Bartender. On my meaner days, one of the bad guys of the week, or Issac when he's drunk.

Canada, all the strippers with none of the war shame. Also Canadian Beer >>> French Wine.

No, I was just around them a lot. And lived in Canada for awhile. They spell like the Brits. Thanks for the condolances. I'd rather be French, to be honest. At least they're good at the sex.

From the OED - Forms: 1 gnæt, 2-3 gnet, 3-6 gnatte, (6 ganatte), 4-6 knatt(e, (5, 8 knat), 4- gnat. All are ok spellings. I've often wondered why I auto-spell it "knat" instead of the more common "gnat." Maybe it's an English thing. I spelled color "colour" for awhile as a kid too.

It's a tip that psychoanalysis isn't your forte. Look sawilson. I don't even know you. I heard you were a former drinker who once rammed another car in some parking lot or something. I think you live in Seattle. That's it. You made semi-sassy remark to someone else, and since I was in a chipper mood, I decided to scribble some sass of my own. It obviously hit you hard or else you would have brushed it off like a knat at your ear. Why do I feel like I'm repeating myself? You win. You are a breath of righteousness and I'm just poor human scum. I'm lonely and angry and will one day run into a crowded building with a dynamite vest because I'm quite obviously the kind of distrubed individual who finds that funny. Bask in the attention. Preen for JK. I will hang my head in dramatic shame. The end.

I'm not. Quite frankly sawilson, I thought you would be shocked, then a mite angry, then come back with something other than tears and the such. I figured someone who's been through the dark side grew some tough skin in the process and my little off the cuff remarks wouldn't phase you. I was wrong. But rereading it, I still think it's funny. Also, I hope this doesn't deter you from ever showing your boobies at TDZ. If it did, I would be hurt to the core. And the whole place would rise up and lynch me. So. Peace. I'm sorry. I bow before you in my wretched unworthiness. Feel free to show us your boobies.

Look sweetheart, if my half-a$$ed antics dug too deep to the core, I'm sorry. Quite frankly, it was dark humor, a stab for the heck of taking a stab, but no worse than many of the things I've seen around this den of perverts, pedophiles, alcoholics, former alcoholics, liars, cheats, and general scumbags. Par for the course? *shrug* maybe, maybe not. But I didn't expect you to cry in distress and JK to don the knight's armor. You both need to settle down. I'd suggest a certain calming elixer, but, well, there I go again....

Because we all just know you're destined to fall off the wagon one of these days, and like a crowd transfixed over the impending crash of the hangman's gate, we can't turn away. But if you do get drunk again and do lose self-control, could you please do it at TheDanZone? Where you'll be able to post pics of your naked breasts, links to the mpegs of the cucumber you're humping, and swear with a language-filterless abandon, just like your inner slut has been dying to do if she could only her hands on a single yummy drink. Gracias! http://www.thedanzone.com/phpBB2/index.php

Oh no, not again....

This man had a profound influence on my teenage acid trips.

You mean this Steve Erikson I was referring to this Steve Erickson

Interesting. He's a former mentor of mine. Very cool guy. Very laid back. His novels are a gazillion times better than his short stories. Also I'm surprised at how many people here read literary fiction. That's pretty cool.

Don Delillo William Faulkner Thomas Pynchon David Mitchell Toni Morrison Gabriel Garcia Marquez George Orwell Brett Easton Ellis Supervert Dostoevsky