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Everything posted by wiffleball

  1. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    So, in our usual history of sharing things here that we don't even tell our own on families, here goes nuttin. My heart is Fubared. But turns out they can't really do anything about it because my blood is even worse. White cells red cells platelets you name it everything that's not supposed to be low is ridiculously retardedly low. They don't know why the Bloods all messed up yet. There's like 11 3000 cancers it could be. Good news is I don't have AIDS. Boy all that butt sex I never had... Pretty sure my liver isn't helping things. Thing is, if they try to do anything to my heart even freaking angiogram, I could bleed out llike a hemophiliac with Ebola in a john wu film. And the reason they test me for AIDS is because I've gotten like all these random mysterious rare pneumonia and other viruses and that's pretty much how they discovered aids in the first place. Crazy part is, I'm probably in the best shape I've been in 20 years. Working 70 or 80 hours a week. Walking crazy miles a day. And they can't figure out why the hell haven't gotten sicker or how the f*** I'm still walking around at all. And here's a random fact of the day. Nitroglycerin? Taste very much like cinnamon. Smooches. Wiff
  2. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    So here's the thing for all you guys who end up getting the same procedure. Surgeon will brag about how he put 15 feet of wire in the pin in your wrist and did wonders for your heart. That's great Hawkeye. 2 days later my arm looks like the drummer for Def Leppard right before they got the bonesaw.
  3. wiffleball

    Chevy Chase was (and possibly still is) an azzhole.

    Yeah, I've heard that for a long time. Imagine that? An a hole in Hollywood. ..but Farley , Williams, Patrice O'Neal, Hartman, etc had to die...
  4. I will take who are two of the least relevant people in the world for a thousand Alex.
  5. Should have done a tribute to Don King. You can call it the lying King.
  6. wiffleball

    Nostril Waxing Kit

    So THATS the problem!
  7. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Well, I'm still kicking. The doctors went in and looked around. Some idiot stuck a golf ball in my blow hole.
  8. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Here's the crazy part. Its getting worse, but people being nicer. God damn it does my heart hurt. Post surgery.
  9. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Let's see, new developments. Fentanyl and servanon? or something like that? God that messed me up. And while they did most of the work for my wrist and arm pit, they still shave my nutsack. . Idiots
  10. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Well guess who's in the hospital. I guess they're going to get over the blood thing and go ahead and do whatever they do to the heart. See you later boys.
  11. wiffleball

    Nothing on Trump’s Axios interview?

    Good Lord, this Guy's effing retarded.
  12. wiffleball

    Trump shutting down another liberal reporter

    Anybody see the recent axios interview? Jesus, did he shiid the bed. Pretty sure the GOP lined up a Hitman right after that interview.
  13. How are these cutts on vacation? And why the f*** aren't all the Liberals and especially the actors with all the money not doing a full court press on on hey fuckos get back to work until the f****** stimulus is done? Oh yeah, millionaires don't qualify. 1200 bucks?? But do something. Don't just go on f****** vacation.
  14. wiffleball

    Tested Positive for the Rona

    Please please please just remember how f****** unreliable these tests are. False positives false negatives false false false false false false. Theyre f****** worthless. You be better off with a Magic 8-Ball.
  15. wiffleball

    Trump shutting down another liberal reporter

    Yo Semite!!! Remember Trump busting on Obama for using a teleprompter?
  16. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Yeah, but president retard said I should just drink a shot of bleach and it will cure every thing.
  17. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    I'm sorry, I'm still waiting on Bier Meister to come in and tell us how much better the aioli Clinic is than the Mayo Clinic...
  18. wiffleball

    chicks that rooned movies

    How is it that Robert Duvall could fit in with the cast of The Godfather seems late, but Andy Garcia couldn't pull off being Italian? Might as well cast Danny Glover.
  19. wiffleball

    chicks that rooned movies

    Adrian from Rocky is by far the worst. Just awful. But you can pick almost any 80s movie and the broAds were awful. Kathleen Turner?. The chick from Crocodile Dundee?? Then again, Liz Hurley could read the phone book and I would watch the movie.
  20. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Pretty sure its covid. Cough.
  21. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Well they've done the blood so many f****** times I'm pretty sure I know why my blood levels are low. Stop taking all my f****** blood.
  22. wiffleball

    Well this blows

    Now they're sending me to herpatologist hermaphrodite or something like that. So I'm going to have a dude lady talking about snakes?
  23. wiffleball

    Yo! Semites. Wassup over there?

    So anti-semites hate national parks?
  24. wiffleball

    Wilford Brimley...one of those guys who dies...

    I'm not going to buy this at all. pretty soon Steve guttenberg is going to dump his body into a swimming pool full of green eggs and the dude will be happier than a pig in mud.
  25. wiffleball

    George Carlin, Germs

    Google it. Watch it. Ywia