donkeyjotes

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/denmark-offers-to-buy-us COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead. “As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.” “Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added. A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations. If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that, by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said.

My 12 team local league drafted last night. Gordon 4.11 Ekeler 6.11 (same guy who took Gordon) Jackson 13.6

Chubb went 1.4 Barkley Kamara McCaffrey Chub Hopkins Conner Johnson Elliot Bell Adams Kelce Thomas

Chubb is going top 10 and Nixon has been dead since 1994.

I hope he falls to 1.12 in my draft tomorrow. If it’s down to Gurley/Mixon/Cook... I’m going WR/WR or WR/Kelce

I don’t really get the comparison? Chubb has been going as early as 4th overall in most mocks ive done lately. Never seen him fall to 1.12, which is where I draft. Mixon has been going middle of the second round, around Dalvin and Gurley.

Missed more games than he’s played in 2 seasons...

Step 1: I look at your team. Step 2: I say it blows.

Staying far away from Damien Williams. Only carried the ball more than 20 times once in his entire career. Toughest SOS against the run this year. So many safer options around his ADP. Aaron Jones, Chris Carson, Devonta Freeman, etc.

Surprised Elliot is number 3. Either you think he's going to sign, which makes him the clear #1, or you don't think he will sign, which would place him down around Gordan. Also RE: Barkley, that offense is going to be horrible. No OBJ to keep that 8th man out of the box. I'd take both Kamara and McCaffrey over Barkley. Other than that... I agree with the consensus. Especially Mixon. He just might lead the league in rushing.

If you're proud of something you made absolutely zero contribution into achieving (like being born in America), maybe you should go run a marathon, or actually achieve something to be proud of? The only people that really deserve to be proud Americans are legal immigrants. The rest of us should feel lucky, if anything.

The only difference between a proud boys march and a gay pride march is the proud boys wear matching fred perry outfits.

Democrats aren’t the people constantly preaching conservatism, limited government, constitutional principles, etc. They believe in progressive policies. You guys are the ones that are supposed to be pissed about crap like this, regardless of who is in office. That is assuming you’re actually a conservative, and not just another MAGA moron like drobeski, cdub, 12th tard, etc. Trump isn’t a conservative, and this isn’t an emergency. Border crossing are at a 45 year low. Drugs are coming through at entry points, not some dude carrying a wheelbarrow of cocaine through the desert. The only emergency is Trump pissing off his base of racists he needs to win in 2020. HTH.

Im sure the dotard will let us know via twitard shortly. Welcome to the new world of retards and their sperg followers.

For morons that reject science, T's and P's will make it all better.

Triggered snowflake alert! Someone call a snow plow to Plumberville.

We should ban guns, and then send T's and P's when republications cry about it. It's good enough for people who've lost their loved ones. Should be good enough for people who lost their guns.

I bet you dont like eating your chicken around those pesky blacks and mooslims too. Sad!

Too bad there's nothing we can do about it. The president has such great ideas, when non-white people do crazy crap. Oh well, T's and P's it is. Nothing to see here.

^^ this guy diddles kiddies.

Not to mention, supporting the liberal agenda, since those cups sit in landfills for ever. They dont call them republitards for nothing...

Jerk off in front of him?

Cool story, Newbie.

Living RMFF on the USS Mensaprise.

You're just as sharp as Edjr Lansbury. I'll call you Nancy Drewflake. I've never created an alias in my life. What a tool! SAD!