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t.j. booker

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About t.j. booker

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  1. t.j. booker

    Pet Peeves

    When your trying to sleep but your wife’s phone keeps going off like crazy with sexually explicit texts from guys with names like Kwami and Lamar and when you ask her about it she says it was a wrong number and you’re being jealous and overbearing and crazy. I hate that.
  2. t.j. booker

    What are your fast food 'go-to's' in a pinch?

    Probably arctic circle or Culver’s but I also enjoy Wendy’s, Sonic, jack in the box, Dairy Queen, Arby’s , Carls junior, a&w, zips drive in and tacotime.
  3. t.j. booker

    fast food grievances

    This one time I ordered a triple bacon cheeseburger, Biggie baconator fries and a Diet Coke from the Wendy’s drive through. When I got back to the office though the cheeseburger had a big bite taken out of it already, the fries weren’t biggie - medium at best - and the coke was regular. They didn’t even include the plastic fork and knife I specifically asked for! When I went back to the drive through I had to wait 15 minutes just to complain and of course they said that I took the bite out of the burger and ate the fries? So I said what about the knife and fork? And the lady at the window looked at my gut and said “Maybe you swallowed them.” Well that was very hurtful so of course I left. I wanted to throw the food out but that would have been wasteful. Besides I am short on cash and I sure was hungry.
  4. t.j. booker

    Probably the worst day ever I think

    THATS MY WIFE!!!
  5. t.j. booker

    T shirt recommendations for soft flabby man

    If I lost 70 pounds I would be 210. But id still be 5 foot 6.
  6. t.j. booker

    T shirt recommendations for soft flabby man

    I’m big boned!
  7. t.j. booker

    Probably the worst day ever I think

    I mean let’s get real here what’s a woman like Gloria got to do with a guy like me anyway? I’d be lucky to be her maid.
  8. t.j. booker

    Middle aged or older Geeks

    I have all 3!
  9. t.j. booker

    Probably the worst day ever I think

    Update: She wants me back! Gloria called and said I can come home again so long as I agree to a few small conditions like doing the cooking and cleaning since I’m now between jobs and losing some weight so that she can be attracted to me again and not being so jealous and needy when her girls nights out turn into overnights etc. all reasonable stuff. Let’s face it what’s a guy like me doing with gorgeous woman like Gloria? I should be counting my lucky stars and doing whatever I can to make it work! thanks Geek club!
  10. Around noontime my boss called me into his office and says he’s got to lay one member of the team off and since I’m the oldest and by far the least productive he picked me. He wrote me a real nice letter of recommendation and gave me two weeks severance though. That was the good part of the day. I get home early and immediately there’s something not right, starting with the car I don’t recognize in the driveway and the front door open. So I come in going “Gloria! Gloria!” and she’s nowhere to be found. That’s when I hear these weird barnyard sort of noises noises coming from down the hall. I think I’m being robbed so I grab the baseball bat, creep down the hall and throw the door open. The bedroom is a wreck, throw pillows and clothes all over the place. At first I think I’ve been robbed so I’m wondering “What kind of burglar trashes the bedroom but leaves the flat screen TV?” Then the bedsheets sort of explode and out jumps a naked dude, followed by my wife. The Naked dude is a surprisingly good looking guy with 6-pack abs and that abdominal V thing all the guys had in that Magic Mike movie that Gloria loves. His cack is kind of weird tho, curved a little more than I would have thought comfortable. It takes me a minute staring to realize it’s a chinaman cack and it belongs to Steve, the assistant manager at the bank where my wife works. And there she is naked as a jay bird. All I can do it start screaming “Gloria! Gloria! Oh god no .... Gloria! Oh god noooo!” Until the Chinaman tells me to get the fock out of the bedroom and close the door. Which I do. I tidy up the living room a little before I leave the house. I can hear the barnyard noises start up again from the chinaman sticking it to my wife all the way down the driveway. i walk and walk and walk some more. And I think a whole lot. I thought so darn hard. Finally I come back. The chinaman is gone and so it Gloria. My clothes and stuff are all packed for me in a couple suitcases though with a note from Gloria saying they went out for drinks and it might be best if I find some other place to stay for a few months while we work this out. so here I am at the Super 8 with a Gideon’s bible in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other. Worst part is I hate scotch. Where do I go from here???
  11. Lately I’ve got the feeling that Gloria has been cheating on me again. It’s just the little things: she seems distant and doesn’t want to cuddle or hold hands like she used to, doesn’t reply to my text messages that fast or answer the phone when I call her at work, wears sexy clothes when she goes out dancing with her friends some of which are buff African American and Latino guys she met at the gym and doesn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning stinking of booze, etc. you know the usual stuff. And when I mention it to her she says I’m being crazy and paranoid and controlling and crazy and if I keep harassing her like this she is never going to feel close enough to me to resume the sexual relations that we used to have over a year ago and would it kill me to eat a salad every once in a while? I could stand to lose a few pounds. So I was telling my troubles to my buddy Walter the other day and he said he thinks Gloria is cheating. Well I refuse to believe she would do something like that again but he said “TJ I hate to be the one to break it to you but your wife is a cheating ho.” Well obviously this got my blood boiling so I said “Walter if you ever talk about my queen like that again so help me I’ll ... oh who am I kidding” and I ordered another beer. Anyway Walt says he knows a private diick that he could put on my wife? I don’t know seems like a huge violation of her privacy and all but maybe he has a point. Has anyone hired a private diick for their wife before?
  12. Does she have lots of guy friends? Are they all younger and have names like Lamar, DeAndre, Malik? Does she wear a miniskirt and halter top to go out “bowing” with her guy friends and says it’s okay because it wasn’t one on one, she was with Lamar, DeAndre and Malik so no hanky panky could happen? Then she doesn’t answer the phone all night cause she didn’t hear it on account of how loud the bowling balls are in the bowling alley and she come home at the wee hours stinking of booze and cigarettes and immediately takes a shower? And when you ask where she went drinking cause Westy’s Garden Lanes doesn’t serve alcohol she says Big Al’s Meridian but when you say they don’t let you smoke at Big Al’s and besides all the bowling alleys in town close before 4 am she says Mind your own business you fat slob cant a girl go bowling with some friends on a Tuesday night for Christ sake? so does your wife have guy friends?
  13. t.j. booker

    New here

    I’m glad your here. I could use someone to talk to.
  14. t.j. booker

    What's Up Biotches?

    Same old same old bunny. I’m still short, fat and broke. I have the Hershey squirts every day of the week. Gloria is still cheating on me with a chinaman. I can’t complain.
  15. t.j. booker

    Does your wife do this too?

    No way I could follow her. The Chinaman is pretty fit. With my luck he would beat me up and make me hold his pants while he bangs Gloria.
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