t.j. booker

Duuuuuude!

Color guard and played the tuba.

I wear 2 masks one of those plastic faceguard shields and swimming goggles. I’m not taking any chances. I’m big boned and have a glandular condition.

OMG that looks SO GOSH DARN GOOD! I LOVE Italian food! It’s in the oven I’ll report back when it’s done!

She likes soul food.

Now that I know how easy it is to get Geeks banned I think you should all lay off my ex-wife, if you know what’s good for you.

Gloria had some black “friends.” Lots of them.

My new year’s resolution is to get killer abs and swole “guns” but I don’t know where to start. I’m not much for exercise except occasionally walking to the Chuck-a-Rama and lifting my dumbbell. I can’t do much more on account of my glandular problem. You Geeks are all in peak physical condition. How do I get started on being buff?

42 years old, 5’6, 320 lbs. I’m not sure about BMI but my doctor said I could lose a few pounds.

I went to the Chuck-a-Rama for the brunch buffet this morning which was delicious but I was outraged by the number of people who were not properly masked up! In 3 hours I saw several busboys wearing their masks BELOW their noses and a very large family just sitting there at the table conversing WITHOUT MASKS after their meal! Don’t they care about the health and wellbeing of the people around them? You never know who might have a serious condition or a glandular problem that puts them “at risk.” I ALWAYS wear my mask when I go out and am careful to put my mask back ON in between bites at the buffet. Is this too much to ask during a deadly pandemic? Whos with me?

THATS MY WIFE!

I once inappropriately raised my voice and said unkind things to my ex-wife when I caught her in bed with a chinaman. I sometimes wonder if we might have lasted if I’d been more understanding.

yes

Before we got divorced Gloria gave me a “hand job” but only with the lights off if I promised to think about someone else and not to touch her boobs. That was the last sex I had three years ago. Im divorced, middle aged, short, fat, bald and broke. How does a fellow like me “get lucky”? She can be fat and ugly I don’t care at all. I need release. Many if you are smooth with the ladies. Please help a desperate brother out!

I can’t afford to travel.

Trump yells a lot and that scares me. It reminds me of the time I came home early from work and caught Gloria making sex with the postman. He looked right at me and said: Get out the room and shut tha dang door, TJ! Else I whip yo ass good when I done with the Missus! Jameel was a nice guy but that scared me something good! Biden reminds me of my kind old Grandpa who used to sit on the porch all day and give candy to the neighborhood kids. Sometimes Grandpa let them sit on his lap and he’d move his legs in a funny way that felt like a carnival ride. Just thinking about it makes me smile ... So I am leaning toward Biden, but then I think “What will happen if the Antifas come here?” Not right here. I live in a small town. But what if they come to the big city, like Rexberg or Chubbock? If that happened it sure would be good to have a guy like Jameel around. I can’t defend myself, on account of my glandular problem.

I never know WHAT is gonna happen! For example on Monday we got a huge stock of Nike sneakers that I had to put on the shelves. Tuesday was an unexpected shipment of tennis rackets and baseball cleats. Yesterday my boss made me pick up his dry cleaning and get a card for his anniversary. My job is CRAZY unpredictable.

This reminds me of the time in middle school when Ollie Briggs made me put on lipstick and do the “tuck dance” in the locker room.

I eat the feelings away.

THATS MY ex WIFE!

My BMI is 55 but that doesn’t account for a wide frame and dense bones OR my glandular problem. My MD said I’m morbidly obese technically speaking so I gave him a terrible review on Healthgrades. That will show him.