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t.j. booker

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Everything posted by t.j. booker

  1. t.j. booker

    Reb Lobster Mothers Day Brawl

    Gloria used to love Red Lobster. She ate there so often pretty much all the waiters and customers knew her. She liked IHOP too.
  2. Are you guys nuts? THIS IS A GREAT IDEA! Wake up late, order meals through Grub Hub, play video games, watch some porno. I’ll go back to the sporting goods store in the Fall thank you very much. Whats the downside?
  3. t.j. booker

    Favorite job when you were younger?

    I worked at a bakery that gave me the leftover cookies.
  4. I was never a big porno watcher because my soon to be ex wife thought it was degrading to women and didn’t like it and forbade me from watching it. But now that I’m a bachelor in voluntary shelter in place on account of my glandular condition I’ve been watching porno and eating snacks for 12 or 14 hours per day. Did you know there are literally MILLIONS of porno videos out there and they’re all FREE! I didn’t either. Even reputable networks like the British Broadcasting Corporation make porno videos now! I even found a few that have a young lady that looks a LOT like my Gloria. God I miss her.
  5. t.j. booker

    So what’s your porno consumption line these days?

    It’s short for “pornographic” get it?
  6. t.j. booker

    New official "I contracted Corona Virus Thread"

    Lately I been feeling lethargic and slow and I get out of breath and a little sweaty when I exert myself even a little bit like walking up a flight of stairs. Covid-19?
  7. What about Americans who have a glandular problem?
  8. t.j. booker

    The NBA will be back on the air Sunday.

    So does Gloria.
  9. t.j. booker

    Favorite 80’s Movie

  10. So I told my boss from the sporting goods store where I work in stock that starting tomorrow I plan to self quarantine on account of my glandular problem with causes the obesity and respiratory issues. And this guy says “TJ if you don’t get your fat ass down to Dicks tomorrow you’re FIRED!” His reason is that Idaho isn’t doing shelter in place yet. I tried to explain that it’s just not safe out there for a “high risk” individual like myself! Isn’t my health the most important thing? He said no the most important thing was getting the new shipment on the shelves. Can you believe it?
  11. t.j. booker

    Things you wish you had bought/hoarded but didn't...

    Ding dongs. I loaded up on devil dogs, ho hos, twinkies and zingers but I’m dangerously low on ding dongs. Also cinnamon buns.
  12. t.j. booker

    Choice: $1M at 50, dead at 60, or..

    Can I take my injection now?
  13. Had dinner at the one Chuck-o-Rama. It was awesome. There were like 5 people in the place. Score! I loaded up on chicken fried steak with gravy and bacon mac and cheese and stuffed potato skins. First ribs at the sundae bar too. Now I’m running a 101 fever with a dry cough and sore throat. Do I have meat sweats or is it coronavirus???
  14. When I caught Gloria doing the horizontal mamba with Lamar, I should’ve left. When I caught her cheating a second time with D’Quan, I should have left. When I caught her with Darnell, Marquis, Terrell, Terrence, Jamal, Jalen, Reginald, Xavier, Andre, Quame, etc., I should have left. Now she’s gone. I miss her so much!
  15. t.j. booker

    anybody use online dating sites?

    Now that I’m single again I been thinking about putting myself “on the market” but i don’t know where to start meeting women. Not many women come into the sporting goods store where I work and most of the ones I see at Chuck o Rama are married or too busy eating. My buddy said tinder is a good no stress way to let the ladies know TJ is “open for business.” Do you guys have any advice on sites or profile tips? im so lonely. And horny too but mostly lonely.
  16. t.j. booker

    anybody use online dating sites?

    That’s okay with me! I could lose a few extra pounds anyway haha. Plus I got no money or prospects. my main criteria would be “willing.”
  17. t.j. booker

    Coronavirus - Doomsday

  18. t.j. booker

    Coronavirus - Doomsday

    Stocked up on the essentials today: ice cream bacon Doritos and enough bread milk and eggs to make French toast for a month. And tp. Lots and lots of tp.
  19. t.j. booker

    Best way to clean glasses?

    What does it do? My glasses are pretty steamy.
  20. t.j. booker

    Dress shirts

    Me too!
  21. t.j. booker

    V D Plans?

    I once got the clap three times in one year. Gloria she said I must not be washing my wiener hard enough.
  22. t.j. booker

    Xfl tomorrow....whose gonna give it a quarter?

    I bet $50 on the Tampa Bay Vipers.