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Lessons Learned after Week 2? Don’t overreact to week 1, or week 2, but it's week 3 so now is the time to overreact! Don’t pick four road dog teams to win and expect to make money…then again ATS my picks were pretty bad so I can’t judge too harshly…I should stick to head to head picks. Picking all home teams (other than the Bills) every single week is a viable strategy in HTH pools! I went 12-3-1 this week and I’m 22-8-2 on the season so far! You gotta Moneyball those picks people. On-base percentage, and slugging percentage is very important, bitches. Odd’s n ends from week 2? As a long-suffering Bills fan, we gotta talk about Vontae Davis. You probably heard about him quitting on the Bills by retiring at halftime? Friends don’t let friends play for the Bills, much less cheer for them. For your amusement here are the best quotes I found about Davis this week: · Playing for the Bills actually broke a players spirit. · “Fuuuuuuck this sh1iiit” - Vontae · I can finally say that I’ve seen an NFL player rage quit · “The Bills are this year’s Browns” - Vontae Davis · This needs to be a thing on Madden. Throw 5 touchdowns in the first half to Richard Sherman's man, and he rage quits in the locker room and doesn't come back out for the second half. Bonus points if you do it on franchise mode. · We'll always remember that time the Bills were so bad that Vontae Davis had to retire at halftime. Connor and Brown's haircuts are horrific abominations but I fully respect them for bringing back the Mullet and Anchor haircuts (or whatever that thing on the back of Antonio Brown’s head is). Next, some player will bring back the rat-tail, now that would be something. In other Steelers news, allegedly Antonio Brown tweeted a mysterious “trade me” tweet in response to someone saying he wouldn’t be good without Ben. He then skipped work and team meetings on Monday. This means Tomlin will probably buy him ice-cream, give him a nice hot bath and a foot massage, then will insist Ben target him 14-18 times in the next game and throw into double coverage to keep him happy! Gotta love the Diva Wide Receivers...he does realize his team is 0-1-1 and desperate for a win right? Fitzmagic looks like Conor McGregor’s drunk uncle but he’s playing like a boss! I hope Fitzmagic is here to stay…but we all know it’s not. We’re talking about a journeyman’s journeyman who really should be laying drywall but somehow ended up as an NFL QB. Soon he’ll be back to his normal 60% completions and 81% QB rating. Enjoy it while it lasts. As long as he doesn’t touch the beard, he should be fine. Legend has it, if you rub the beard, you get good luck for 2 weeks. Patrick Mahomes throws darts! Now I don’t know if he looks great because the Steelers don’t know how to stop receivers with open field tackles, or maybe they were playing by touch football rules, but KC wasn’t aware of it? Anyway, that kid throws a good ball, that’s all I’m saying, you can’t deny that. Kickers are all terrible. They lost games for their teams left and right (as in outside left or outside right). Browns kicker missed 2 XP and 2 FG and got waived on Monday. Pitt kicker misses twice. Minn kicker misses 3 Field goals, including a FG in OT so they tied the game, and he got cut on Monday as well. Why are we even talking about kickers? It’s enough to make you want to see them retire at halftime…Also if anyone wants to make a “Norwood Wide Right” joke you can shut the hell up, I’m over it. Really. Enough nonsense on with the picks! HTH this time. Jets @Browns – I agonized over this one. At the last minute, I wimped out and picked the Browns. I'm not proud of myself, but hey it's a win. Saints @Falcons – Sorry ‘aints just haven’t looked good this season now they’re on the road and Atlanta is playing better. 49ers @Chiefs – Did you not see what I said about Mahomes? Darts man, he throws darts. All to my man Kelce. Raiders @Dolphins – West coast to East coast travel for the raiders, after a tough matchup against the Broncos? Gimmie the Fish. Bills @Vikings – Again, this is a game where you would be well advised by your financial advisor to take a second mortgage on your house, and bet against the Bills. Colts @Eagles – This game is closer than you think, it’s not an auto-win for the Eagles, and Luck has been looking better. I’m just taking the home team here. Packers @Redskins – A road favorite! Muh packers! Colts made the Washington D look pretty piss poor last week, I think Rodgers can do it as well. Bengals @Panthers – Mixon is out getting his knee scoped. Dalton was great last week but he’s not gonna throw 3 TDS to Green every week. Panthers D is better than you think and bring good pressure up front. Titans @Jaguars – Another really close one. It depends on if Fournette plays, Jags need that run game. This one is a game-day decision, check the injury report! Broncos @Ravens – Raven’s won’t cover, but they should win. Giants @Texans – Really are you going to put money on Eli on the road? Really? Chargers @Rams – Rams look very poised to kick the crap out of this division this year. Goff is racking up yards but managing the game. Gurley is smashing multiple TDs every week into the Endzone. Love it. Not just because I own Gurley. I’ll be watching this one for sure, and drinking every time Rivers makes his patented Derp-face or yells at a teammate. Bears @Cardinals – Man the Cardinals are having a tough outing. Khalil Mack is highly entertaining to watch. ‘member back in the day when JJ Watt was a monster and carrying the team on his own, that’s Khalil Mack today. Cowboys @Seahawks – I almost went against my gambling sense and picked Dallas because I didn’t like much of what Wilson did last week, but he was playing against Mack…Dallas defense is not so scary. Patriots @Lions – LOL common. Brady yelled at his teammates. Know what happens when Brady yells at his teammates? The opposite of what happens when Rivers yells at his teammates. Pats win. Steelers @Bucs – Here is the thing. You can’t go 0-3 and make the playoffs in that division and Pitt know it. I’m picking a reasonable upset here, assuming they can keep Fitzmagic to just 2 TDs.

Week 4 is almost over what have we learned? Let’s start with the Steelers pummeling Kansas City! I thought this would be a really good game as KC supposedly have a great defense. I started them on my fantasy team. My opponent started Big Ben. No surprise, I got bent over like a rented mule, and I now hate KC and Fantasy Football in general. I can’t believe the Steelers go from getting an epic beat down last week, to administering an epic beat down of their own this week. Also the refs absolutely HATE Antonio Brown. Apparently the No Fun League doesn’t allow any endzone dancing or celebrating, Brown will have to do his twerking on the sidelines. Also I legitimately thought Mike Tomlin’s eyeballs were going to pop out of his head when the refs didn’t call a penalty for a late hit on Ben…nobody does the crazy-eyes like Tomlin. Finally…Former 1st round draft pick Alex Smith, aka Captain Checkdown was brutal to watch. They’re down 36 and he’s still playing 5-10 yard dink and dunk, does the guy ever throw deep, like ever? Alex be like: “Noooo…we’re down 36 points coach, I can’t take a chance, I gotta checkdown every play!“ Rex Ryan just saved his job for another year. I haven’t even watched the post-game presser yet, but I know exactly what a big stupid happy red-faced Sexy-Rex said. “Ahh we’re great. Nothing like taking it to Belichick. We had this game circled on the calendar and these guys came out motivated and played hard…we can’t wait to meet them again this season…blah, blah, blah.” Sure thing Rex. You know he screamed at his team the entire week beforehand to make sure they won this, nobody gets jacked up to beat Belichick like Rex does. He probably threatened to take away all of the players foot-rubs and snacks if they lost this game. Now he’s gonna ride this to another year of mediocrity, when we finish 8-8 again, he’ll still keep his job and they won’t fire him, why? Because…he beat New England once. The Bills who probably think they’re gonna win the Superbowl at 2-2...Meanwhile the Pats are 3-1 without Brady, and he’s back next week, and will soon cruise through that weak ass division. Trust me, the Bills suck, they’ll probably find a way to lose a game on their bye week. Carolina’s season is done, and Oakland is for real: The Panthers have a major Superbowl hangover and Cam just got his bell rung bad this weekend, he’ll be out for a bit. He went completely wet-noodle legs after getting cranked in the side of the head by Atlanta’s linebacker. Not that I want to see injuries inflicted on my fellow human beings, but I’m pretty sure a sarcastic laugh happened across the NFL when he got TKO’d. Pay attention to Oakland. They’re back, they have a great offense, and they will make the playoffs as a Wild Card, I think. Also more reason to hate Fantasy Football? I had ###### Crabtree on the bench while he hauled in 3 touchdowns. F. off, I hate this game. The 2 most interesting QBs were off this week: Captain Touchdown (My man Aaron Rodgers) and Carson “The Real Deal” Wentz were resting up this week. They are both pretty awesome to watch, just sayin’. Wentz needs a cool nickname. Monday Night Prediction: Vikings have that purple people eater defense is great. Their season was supposed to be over with their QB Bilge-water out, as well as Pederson blowing up his knee again, yet after tonight they’re gonna be 4-0. Unless the Giants do what the Giants always do because they are GAMBLING POISON I HATE THE GIANTS THEY ALWAYS SCREW ME EVERY WEEK ALONG WITH THEIR ENTIRE STUPID NFC EAST DIVISION, I HATE BETTING ON THESE TEAMS…whew, ok sorry I got that out of my system…I’m out. Cheers!

Ok, had a pretty rough go of it last week, HTH I went 8-8, best in the pool was 10-6, so I didn't do that bad, everyone else was below .500... I did better ATS I went 9-7, but still not a great week. This week looks a bit easier, hopefully not as many upsets. I'll update the weekend games on Friday. Thursday Night Washington @ NY Giants (-3.5) NYG edge them in most offensive categories and also average 23 ppg, vs. Washington 17 ppg. Washington are running the ball very well and are #1 in the league in rushing right now. Washington actually have a surprisingly good defense and are #1 overall in Total yards allowed, and they're top 5 or better against the run, pass, points and 3rd down %. The line opened at -3, and is now -3.5, it was at -4 briefly. I like Washington to cover the spread here, this feels like a 3 point game to me, I think Cousins has to manage the game without turnovers, and washington need to run the ball on that weak NYG defense all game and wear them down. HTH: Washington Will update Sunday picks tomorrow.

So after going 11-2 HTH last week I’m feeling kind of confident and full of myself...but this week has some really tough matchups to consider, especially against the spread... Thursday, November 6 Browns at Bengals -6, 44 I like the Browns to cover this spread and keep it close. HTH there is no way I don’t go with the Bengals who have won 14 in a row at home. Sunday, November 9 Jaguars vs. Cowboys OFF (at London) No line? This is stupid, perhaps they feel the lines can be fixed as there isn’t really a home team. Also the #CowboySUK twitter tag was one of the most unintentionally hilarious backfires I’ve ever seen. Anyway, Cowboys Dolphins at Lions -3 (even), This is a case of they don’t know what to do, so they make it the standard “spot the home team 3 points” game. I like Miami as a road dog. Chiefs -1.5, at Bills The Line opened at KC -2.5 so obviously people are betting them down. KC has solid run game, good defense. Bills are running the tandem of “Boobie” Dixon (When did Boobie stop being a cool name to call your kids?) and some other rookie scrub RB. Orton is due for a down game. I like the Chiefs, I think Reid potato chip munches his way to victory in a close one. 49ers at Saints -3.5, Saints are the real deal, they’re rising, meanwhile the 49ers are tanking. Who Dey? Saints won 11 in a row at home, they’re back for a playoff push, just watch. Titans at Ravens -10, Holy fracking remember the Titans? This spread is ridiculous, I mean common, Baltimore are 1-9 ATS. Give me the Road Dog Titans. Steelers -4, at Jets Peanut butter Jet sandwiches, that’s what Steelers eat. You do know Ben threw 12 touchdowns in the last 2 weeks? You do know the Jets have only covered the spread 1 time this season? Steelers. Falcons -1, at Bucs This is the grossest, nastiest game ever. Ugh...so bad. This line opened with the Bucs at -1, now shifted to Falcons being favored? The betting public has no clue, avoid this crap at all costs. Just give me the home team Bucs and call it a day. Broncos -11.5, at Raiders That’s a lot of Road points. Do I care? Is it time for Peyton to put his foot on the gas now that he’s got his letdown game out of the way? Yes it is, he might throw 5 TDs, and run one in just because he can. Broncos. Rams at Cardinals -7, I have learned my lesson with this division. Cards will win, but not by a converted touchdown. Give me a healthy dose of the Rams to keep it close. Giants at Seahawks -9, Oakland gave Seattle a run for their money last week, something is going on with that team. I’ll take the points. Giants. Bears at Packers -7, Considering Green Bay already pulverized Chicago AT HOME by more than this spread, I have no problem betting on the Packers. Maybe smokin’ Jay Cutler will surprise me, but more likely Rodgers will be discount double checking his way to multiple TD’s to Jordy Nelson. Brandon Marshall may finally go fully postal on Cutler this week. Hilarious: INTERCEPTED TEXT: Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall Clear The Air Monday, November 10 Panthers at Eagles -5.5, Guess who’s back? Sanchize the QB to save your franchize! Seriously though, McCoy is running well again, Eagles aren’t going to lose this game. All Sanchez has to do is just give the ball to Maclin and McCoy and not faceplant into his o-linemen (causing another butt-fumble) to win. Eagles.