Had marriage counseling last nite

[brinett9 0]

At the next session you should challenge her to a pissing contest.

[jerryskids 5,199]

sometimes, after I feel like you guys are beating me over the head with wooden mallots, I come out thinking I actually have something to take from all that was posted, FWIW

I believe that about you. That's why I take the time to razz you. Him, I'm not so sure.

[zen 0]

At the next session you should challenge her to a pissing contest.

 

 

Even better: challange her to a peniis length contest.

[Snuff 10]

Watch some pron with her and get high together.

[hoytdwow 202]

Watch some pron with her and get high together.

priceless

[golden eagles 0]

I'm not throwing rocks here, because I get tired of my wife coming to bed in a ratty t-shirt & long pants myself, but maybe your wife needs to know that you consider her sexy no matter what she wears to bed...

 

With those comments, you'll never get her to wear anything different, much less anything more

[davebg 0]

If you don't have kids then there is no reason to stay in a relationship that you are unhappy in......period.

While I am unhappy now, I wasn't always unhappy.

 

I made a committment and I think that I have to go to counseling and try to work it out before making a decision like that.

[Guest stevejohnson]

Beating around the bush = away at a conference, met someone who shared a mutual attraction to, but DIDN'T cheat

 

As for this being my "only" issue w/her...I'm sure it's not. We haven't been going to counseling long and the sessions only last so long. This is what came up this week...so this is what I have to talk about. Each time we go we peel back another layer of the onion and get closer to the center of our problems.

 

 

 

The issue here is that it SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD! If you have all of these deep seeded issues, maybe you just shouldn't be together. It doesn't have to be anyones fault and no one has to "lose". Sometimes walking away makes BOTH people a winner.

 

If you have kids (which you said you don't) it is different. You need to try and work it out for their sake but otherwise life is too short to spend time trying to "fix" someone else into being what you want.

 

Again, just my two cents....

[hoytdwow 202]

are you a control freak? Be honest.

 

These things you demand of her, but she doesn't want to do them. Do you think she should do them anyway?

[davebg 0]

Its not what you say its how you say it.

I know...I can be pretty mean.

 

But if that's one of her problems w/me then she needs to bring it up in counseling.

 

One of the things that the doc has been telling her is that she needs to be more interested and more assertive...less passive.

 

Well, if she doens't like the way I talk to her, then she can assert herself in counsleing...instead of sitting there, pretending that things are OK.

 

She's the one who suggested counseling and picked the doc...yet I feel as though I am the one who contributes the most while we are in there.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

You are also a newlywed...come and see me in a few years. Let me know how your love life is and whether it needs some spicing up.

 

You've been married 4 years, yet you make it sound as though it's been 20.

[hoytdwow 202]

I know...I can be pretty mean.

 

But if that's one of her problems w/me then she needs to bring it up in counseling.

Why? You know you're mean; why does she have to bring it up? Why don't you just stop being mean?

[davebg 0]

The issue here is that it SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD! If you have all of these deep seeded issues, maybe you just shouldn't be together. It doesn't have to be anyones fault and no one has to "lose". Sometimes walking away makes BOTH people a winner.

 

If you have kids (which you said you don't) it is different. You need to try and work it out for their sake but otherwise life is too short to spend time trying to "fix" someone else into being what you want.

 

Again, just my two cents....

I agree w/you 100%...but like I said, we've only been going to counseling together for a few weeks. I am not going to give up w/out even trying.

[Force of Two 0]

Beating around the bush = away at a conference, met someone who shared a mutual attraction to, but DIDN'T cheat

 

As for this being my "only" issue w/her...I'm sure it's not. We haven't been going to counseling long and the sessions only last so long. This is what came up this week...so this is what I have to talk about. Each time we go we peel back another layer of the onion and get closer to the center of our problems.

 

Then you shouldnt make her dressing more provacative a main item....At least she had sex with you

[Guest stevejohnson]

I agree w/you 100%...but like I said, we've only been going to counseling together for a few weeks. I am not going to give up w/out even trying.

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out!

[Meglamaniac 380]

I'd love to give you some sound relationship advise here, but I'm obviously not qualified

[parrot 789]

I'm not throwing rocks here, because I get tired of my wife coming to bed in a ratty t-shirt & long pants myself, but maybe your wife needs to know that you consider her sexy no matter what she wears to bed...

I was thinking this same thing. Some women just don't have the confidence to pull off the hot lingerie, and if she thinks you need the hot lingerie to find her sexy, it might hurt her confidence. Vicious circle.

[Snuff 10]

I'm telling you porn and herb are the way to go. It works. You two will share many a laughs together, and you will both get very horny. If you two are too goody goody for herb, then just watch porn together. If you two are too goody goody for porn, kill yourself.

[davebg 0]

are you a control freak? Be honest.

 

These things you demand of her, but she doesn't want to do them. Do you think she should do them anyway?

Actually, no, she's the one w/the mild OCD.

 

And the way you put it "these things you demand of her"...you make it sound as if I wanted her to hang from the ceiling by a hook in her ass while men w/giant cawks swap at her like a pinata.

 

Do you really think that the things that I am asking for are that unreasonable? Sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that your wife do things to keep you interested over the years. As long as those requets are not out of hand then I think she should be willing to do them.

 

Then you shouldnt make her dressing more provacative a main item....At least she had sex with you

When the doc asks how did things go for date nite and she says everything was good...that things are getting better, but I don't totally agree w/that I am going to say something. I am going to tell her what I did and didn't like.

 

That's why we're in counseling. So we can communicate more fully and honestly than when it's just the two of us. Just b/c she's content to sit there and pretend that things are OK when they're not doesn't mean that I'm willing to do the same.

[Force of Two 0]

Actually, no, she's the one w/the mild OCD.

 

And the way you put it "these things you demand of her"...you make it sound as if I wanted her to hang from the ceiling by a hook in her ass while men w/giant cawks swap at her like a pinata.

 

Do you really think that the things that I am asking for are that unreasonable? Sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that your wife do things to keep you interested over the years. As long as those requets are not out of hand then I think she should be willing to do them.

 

For example...And Im not prying but my wife comes home and instigates sometimes and I think that it great and she is willing to do some things but shes not going to go overboard and let me bang her in the no-no while my boys watch and root me on (and by the way were the same age as you)

 

Actually, no, she's the one w/the mild OCD.

 

And the way you put it "these things you demand of her"...you make it sound as if I wanted her to hang from the ceiling by a hook in her ass while men w/giant cawks swap at her like a pinata.

 

Do you really think that the things that I am asking for are that unreasonable? Sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that your wife do things to keep you interested over the years. As long as those requets are not out of hand then I think she should be willing to do them.

When the doc asks how did things go for date nite and she says everything was good...that things are getting better, but I don't totally agree w/that I am going to say something. I am going to tell her what I did and didn't like.

 

That's why we're in counseling. So we can communicate more fully and honestly than when it's just the two of us. Just b/c she's content to sit there and pretend that things are OK when they're not doesn't mean that I'm willing to do the same.

 

Maybe things are getting better for her at a slower pace than you....

[hoytdwow 202]

bang her in the no-no while my boys watch and root me on (and by the way were the same age as you)

[davebg 0]

I was thinking this same thing. Some women just don't have the confidence to pull off the hot lingerie, and if she thinks you need the hot lingerie to find her sexy, it might hurt her confidence. Vicious circle.

Her self-confidence has always been a major issue...long before she and I ever had problems.

 

Thanks alot Mrs. DaveBG's Mom...you fat, psychotic beeotch!!!

[golden eagles 0]

Do you really think that the things that I am asking for are that unreasonable? Sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that your wife do things to keep you interested over the years. As long as those requets are not out of hand then I think she should be willing to do them.

 

 

And you know what she's thinking? She's thinking that she shouldn't have to do anything to keep you interested just because. It would be different if she's gained 80lbs.

 

Trust me kid, you're on shaky ground with this.

[Force of Two 0]

 

Bad Example?

[NewbieJr 540]

They're "vacations", sphincter boy. Ha!

Aww, sorry Brinett9. That was insensitive of me. I was trying to get a point across to Dave and it slipped my mind that you could possibly see that.

I'm sure she's not cheating on you.

[davebg 0]

I'm telling you porn and herb are the way to go. It works. You two will share many a laughs together, and you will both get very horny. If you two are too goody goody for herb, then just watch porn together. If you two are too goody goody for porn, kill yourself.

Won't work for two reasons:

 

1) If I can't get her to wear sexy underwear that only I'm goign to see, what are the chances of me getting her to watch some pron? Pretty slim.

 

2) I love the herb...she hates it. It is one of her major sticking points w/me and cutting it WAY back was the first suggestion the doc had for either of us (which I have complied with.)

[mobb_deep 917]

I don't get it.

 

 

either way it's pathetic.

[hoytdwow 202]

Do you really think that the things that I am asking for are that unreasonable? Sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask that your wife do things to keep you interested over the years. As long as those requets are not out of hand then I think she should be willing to do them.

When the doc asks how did things go for date nite and she says everything was good...that things are getting better, but I don't totally agree w/that I am going to say something. I am going to tell her what I did and didn't like.

I don't think they're unreasonable, but obviously, she doesn't want to do it. You act like you're in this ivory tower, and that as long as she doesn't object to what you say, then you're right.

I'm actually learning things about myself in this thread

[Snuff 10]

Won't work for two reasons:

 

1) If I can't get her to wear sexy underwear that only I'm goign to see, what are the chances of me getting her to watch some pron? Pretty slim.

 

2) I love the herb...she hates it. It is one of her major sticking points w/me and cutting it WAY back was the first suggestion the doc had for either of us (which I have complied with.)

 

 

 

May God be with you......

[davebg 0]

And you know what she's thinking? She's thinking that she shouldn't have to do anything to keep you interested just because. It would be different if she's gained 80lbs.

 

Trust me kid, you're on shaky ground with this.

I've tried to explain it in more gentle terms that she might understand.

 

I told her that she's been serving up vanilla ice cream, which is good...I like vanilla, but after years of vanilla, you get tired of it. You want some hot fudge, some jimmies, some other flavors...at this point, I'd even look forward to some vanilla bean b/c this plain vanilla just doens't get me excited any more.

[brinett9 0]

Here's a suggestion that may be helpful.

 

Give her a nice little box from a fine jewelry store. Wrap it in fine white ribbon.

 

Imagine how owned she'll be when she opens it to find it contains only your fresh, steaming turd.

[Snuff 10]

I've tried to explain it in more gentle terms that she might understand.

 

I told her that she's been serving up vanilla ice cream, which is good...I like vanilla, but after years of vanilla, you get tired of it. You want some hot fudge, some jimmies, some other flavors...at this point, I'd even look forward to some vanilla bean b/c this plain vanilla just doens't get me excited any more.

 

Now I'm focking hungry.

[Jeremy 0]

sometimes, after I feel like you guys have beaten me over the head with wooden mallots, I come out thinking I actually have something to take from all that was posted, FWIW

 

So you've quit drinking then?

[Force of Two 0]

What most men want in the world from women

 

We want women who take it in the rear, watch porn, will perform MFF sex and not ask for MMF sex, do it 5 times per week with sexy outfits and use toys....let us videotape them, let us watch them masturbate (to us only) not ###### like their mothers, stay fit (because after all we want to be able to look at them) and much much more...

 

Ill clue you in....if you can get 1-3 of these above things count yourself fortunate and if you dont get any of these things then your in the vast majority.

[davebg 0]

I don't think they're unreasonable, but obviously, she doesn't want to do it. You act like you're in this ivory tower, and that as long as she doesn't object to what you say, then you're right.

I'm actually learning things about myself in this thread

I didn't mean it that way. It's not that if she doens't object hen I'm automatically right.

 

What I meant was that we go to counseling and the doc asks how things went. She says things were good. He asks her what she'd like to talka bout this time. That request is met by the sounds of crickets chirping. So, instead of sitting there, wasting our money and pretending that nothing is bothering me I speak up.

 

Frankly, alot of this stuff has been building for some time w/us, but for so long we just ignored it b/c everything else in our lives was going so good (work, finances, friends, family, etc)...well, that's how we got in this situation in the first place. I'm not happy and I'm not willing to bury my head in the sand anymore to just keep the peace.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

When the doc asks how did things go for date nite and she says everything was good...that things are getting better, but I don't totally agree w/that I am going to say something. I am going to tell her what I did and didn't like.

 

That's why we're in counseling. So we can communicate more fully and honestly than when it's just the two of us. Just b/c she's content to sit there and pretend that things are OK when they're not doesn't mean that I'm willing to do the same.

 

With this I can agree with you. You are in counseling to bring out everything and hold nothing back.

 

If this is how you feel, you are right to say so. Either your wife is okay with everything and you are the one who is not or she has a problem voicing what she wants/doesn't like in the relationship?

[davebg 0]

What most men want in the world from women

 

We want women who take it in the rear, watch porn, will perform MFF sex and not ask for MMF sex, do it 5 times per week with sexy outfits and use toys....let us videotape them, let us watch them masturbate (to us only) not ###### like their mothers, stay fit (because after all we want to be able to look at them) and much much more...

 

Ill clue you in....if you can get 1-3 of these above things count yourself fortunate and if you dont get any of these things then your in the vast majority.

I have one (staying fit...which is a fairly recent development that came about when she had trouble fitting into her clothes)...it is not enough.

[Force of Two 0]

I have one (staying fit...which is a fairly recent development that came about when she had trouble fitting into her clothes)...it is not enough.

 

Im at loss at how to help you bro (not that im some damn counselor)...I think you have to gradually move towards a little variety in the bedroom.

 

Did you ever have "wild times" in bed?....Naturally at the beginning of my relationship with my wife we did stuff that I know that she isnt down with now and it could be that she just got older, job more stressful, babies etc. etc...

[mighty_thor 115]

What most men want in the world from women

 

We want women who take it in the rear, watch porn, will perform MFF sex and not ask for MMF sex, do it 5 times per week with sexy outfits and use toys....let us videotape them, let us watch them masturbate (to us only) not ###### like their mothers, stay fit (because after all we want to be able to look at them) and much much more...

 

Ill clue you in....if you can get 1-3 of these above things count yourself fortunate and if you dont get any of these things then your in the vast majority.

 

My wife gives me 4 of the above so I guess I am fortunate.

[Force of Two 0]

My wife gives me 4 of the above so I guess I am fortunate.

 

Im in that range as well but generally not on a consistent basis (other than being fit)