How old were you the first time you got "lucky"?

[SUXBNME 1,328]

19 or 20

[Dick Hertz 1]

9

[Electric Mayhem 35]

When I was 11 I won a raffle for a motorized car

[George Carlin 1]

I wouldn't call it lucky. I've had herpes ever since.

[paulinstl 295]

By getting lucky you mean losing one's virginity, then my answer is on my 17th birthday. MyGF at the time thought it would be romantic to give a special B-Day gift. She was right! Although that gift lasted about as long as an icre cream cone in August, it was just what I wnted.

[TheNewGirl 1,030]

Almost 17. My parents were in Hawaii...their frist trip alone away from the kids in YEARS.

 

And their baby girl goes and doinks her boyfriend first night they are gone.

[shovelheadt 61]

18-19..right after I went into the Air Force.

 

My recruiter never mentioned this basic training ritual. Dunno?

[George Carlin 1]

Almost 17. My parents were in Hawaii...their frist trip alone away from the kids in YEARS.

 

And their baby girl goes and doinks her boyfriend first night they are gone.

 

Doink? you a WWE fan?

[Mungwater 588]

18-19..right after I went into the Air Force.

 

 

I thought the Navy did that..

[SUXBNME 1,328]

Almost 17. My parents were in Hawaii...their frist trip alone away from the kids in YEARS.

 

And their baby girl goes and doinks her boyfriend first night they are gone.

 

 

SLUT !!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[George Carlin 1]

I thought the Navy did that..

 

[paulinstl 295]

I thought the Navy did that..

 

 

Didn't matter which branch it was, Shovel is a sucker for a dude in uniform.

 

 

[TheNewGirl 1,030]

SLUT !!

 

Oh, no. That came much later...around 20/21 is when I became a slut.

[dcOne 2]

Depends on what you mean by lucky. I had to pay my friends with 2 buckets of KFC to stay out of the motel room so I could have a couple hours alone with this chick. Turns out she had a boyfriend, changed her mind about having sex about 4 times. When all was said and done, the room ended up smelling like a all you can eat seafood bar in 110 degree heat.

[Electric Mayhem 35]

the room ended up smelling like a all you can eat seafood bar in 110 degree heat.

 

dude, that's nasty

[Apu Nahasapeemapetilon 0]

12 years old with Rosie Palm while watching the elevator scene from Fatal Attraction.

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

16.....1st love

[Guest Black Label Society]

16. I was in heaven.

It was way better than any lube appropriately applied to either hand I had.

 

Lasted all of about 60 seconds.

 

I remember it smelled like someone left out a half filled can of tuna in a trash can, but hey.....

 

Then it happened, about 3 days later I'm in Study Hall and my sh!t is itching....worse, and worse and WORSE.

 

Finally, next day, I'm scratching away just before getting in the shower, and on the counter falls off a neat looking little 8 LEGGED MOTHER FUKKER!

 

YOU B!TCH Alison Frank of Eagan, MN. YOu are a fukking WHOORE with a puss that smells like bad chicken soup.

 

I hope you did finally join the Navy so the whole fleet is infected you focking skank!

 

First focking time,.....I get the snaggled tooth crotch crickets.

B!tch. I'm glad I came in your hair.

[SUXBNME 1,328]

16. I was in heaven.

It was way better than any lube appropriately applied to either hand I had.

 

Lasted all of about 60 seconds.

 

I remember it smelled like someone left out a half filled can of tuna in a trash can, but hey.....

 

Then it happened, about 3 days later I'm in Study Hall and my sh!t is itching....worse, and worse and WORSE.

 

Finally, next day, I'm scratching away just before getting in the shower, and on the counter falls off a neat looking little 8 LEGGED MOTHER FUKKER!

 

YOU B!TCH Alison Frank of Eagan, MN. YOu are a fukking WHOORE with a puss that smells like bad chicken soup.

 

I hope you did finally join the Navy so the whole fleet is infected you focking skank!

 

First focking time,.....I get the snaggled tooth crotch crickets.

B!tch. I'm glad I came in your hair.

 

How to get rid of crabs:

 

1. Shave 1/2 pubes

2. douse existing pubes w/ lighter fluid

3. light pubes

4. stab crabs w/ ice pick when they come running out of fire

 

rinse / repeat

[shovelheadt 61]

First focking time,.....I get the snaggled tooth crotch crickets.

B!tch. I'm glad I came in your hair.

 

I got em when I was 17 and didn't even fock her. She slept in my bed but we never finished the deed. Had em so bad, you could see em on the toilet paper after you wiped.

 

My buddy, who did drill her, had em too. We're sitting in my entry way, whispering about what to do when my mom rolls in. In her normal, cheery voice, she says "Now what are you guys being all secretive about?"

 

By this time, I had been in severe misery for 2 days so I just came forth with the knowledge. "Me and Eric got crabs from the same girl".

 

She hands me a 20 and says "Get your ass down to the pharmacy right now while I strip every sheet in the house".

 

So then me and Eric sit outside Gary's Pharmacy and argue about who's going in. "I drove, you go in!" "Fock that, my mom bought, you go in." The big problem was that this pharmacy was owned and operated by an offshoot of the Amish. Same attire with the hoods, dresses, suspenders and beards, but they used a little more technology.

 

We finally went in together while the middle aged Amish woman behend the counter avoided eye contact with us.

[Mungwater 588]

I got em when I was 17 and didn't even fock her. She slept in my bed but we never finished the deed. Had em so bad, you could see em on the toilet paper after you wiped.

 

My buddy, who did drill her, had em too. We're sitting in my entry way, whispering about what to do when my mom rolls in. In her normal, cheery voice, she says "Now what are you guys being all secretive about?"

 

By this time, I had been in severe misery for 2 days so I just came forth with the knowledge. "Me and Eric got crabs from the same girl".

 

She hands me a 20 and says "Get your ass down to the pharmacy right now while I strip every sheet in the house".

 

So then me and Eric sit outside Gary's Pharmacy and argue about who's going in. "I drove, you go in!" "Fock that, my mom bought, you go in." The big problem was that this pharmacy was owned and operated by an offshoot of the Amish. Same attire with the hoods, dresses, suspenders and beards, but they used a little more technology.

 

We finally went in together while the middle aged Amish woman behend the counter avoided eye contact with us.

 

Hey crabman

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

Hey crabman

Hey Earl

[George Carlin 1]

is there really such a thing as crabs?

 

Pubes are the most vile things on earth, SHAVE EM!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dcOne 2]

16. I was in heaven.

It was way better than any lube appropriately applied to either hand I had.

 

Lasted all of about 60 seconds.

 

I remember it smelled like someone left out a half filled can of tuna in a trash can, but hey.....

 

Then it happened, about 3 days later I'm in Study Hall and my sh!t is itching....worse, and worse and WORSE.

 

Finally, next day, I'm scratching away just before getting in the shower, and on the counter falls off a neat looking little 8 LEGGED MOTHER FUKKER!

 

YOU B!TCH Alison Frank of Eagan, MN. YOu are a fukking WHOORE with a puss that smells like bad chicken soup.

 

I hope you did finally join the Navy so the whole fleet is infected you focking skank!

 

First focking time,.....I get the snaggled tooth crotch crickets.

B!tch. I'm glad I came in your hair.

 

 

OMFG...my skin is crawling just reading this sh!t. Ain't never seen a "crab" before. Jeeeebussssss yucckkkkk.

[shovelheadt 61]

is there really such a thing as crabs?

 

Pubes are the most vile things on earth, SHAVE EM!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/li..._pubic_lice.htm

[dcOne 2]

dude, that's nasty

 

At least she never had crabs or anything.

 

 

Whew

[Electric Mayhem 35]

A friend of mine got crabs twice - from the same girl.

 

Each time he used a shampoo called "Pronto" to get rid of them, so you can only imagine the ensuing months of torture we put him through.

 

"Dude, can you grab me a soda? Pronto."

"You should call than girl back - pronto!"

 

and we could use it everywhere. The best was in from of his mom who had no idea.

[Franknbeans 46]

I met mother palm and her four lovely daughters at 14

[SUXBNME 1,328]

I got crabs twice - from the same girl.

 

Each time I used a shampoo called "Pronto" to get rid of them, so you can only imagine the ensuing months of torture I got put through.

 

"Dude, can you grab me a soda? Pronto."

"You should call than girl back - pronto!"

 

and I could use it everywhere. The best was in from my mom who had no idea she even gave them to me

 

 

 

Fixored

[Guest Black Label Society]

Amazing thing was I focking freaked. I was like, man, I can't tell my old man. He'll probably beat me stupid.

 

So I went through the closet that had all our medicines, etc.

I'm looking for some head lice remover, etc. ANYTHING.

I ran into this miracle of science called KWELL lotion.

It said, 'apply liberally to infected region, leave on for 48 hours, do not remove!"

 

Try not itching your balls or junk for 2 days. UNPOSSIBLE.

 

BUT.....nobody found out (other than my high school buddy, who promptly told EVERYONE), and I was rid of them fockers PRONTO (had to.....).

 

Thank god that my old man must've had em once years before.

 

 

Like father, like son.

 

I got my buddy back.  I gave him her number and didn't tell him who it was....just some hot, easy chic.

[ilovemustachios 0]

I don't think I am ever going down on a chick again after this rediculously grotesque conversation

[RicemanX 20]

got my first BJ on my 18th bday

got my first sex on High school graduation night

[Mungwater 588]

I don't think I am ever going down on a chick again after this rediculously grotesque conversation

 

That won't make my mom happy

[SUXBNME 1,328]

I don't think I am ever going down on a chick again after this rediculously grotesque conversation

 

 

What about a guy?

[Guest Black Label Society]

I don't think I am ever going down on a chick again after this rediculously grotesque conversation

 

Just guys?

 

And it's ridiculous.

 

And it is a tip that don't eat puss that smells like bad tuna.

Gotta give it the patented BLS stinky-pinky test.

 

Give her the pinky. Pull it up to the back of her head while your kissing her.

If you can smell it from there, don't go there. HTH.

[TheNewGirl 1,030]

Just guys?

 

And it's ridiculous.

 

And it is a tip that don't eat puss that smells like bad tuna.

Gotta give it the patented BLS stinky-pinky test.

 

Give her the pinky. Pull it up to the back of her head while your kissing her.

If you can smell it from there, don't go there. HTH.

 

Gross. While I realize that guys do this, it's gross. I didn't know that guys did this until a guy I was dating did it in front of me. He continued to proceed to fool around with me, I was totally disgusted and ended up breaking it off with him. There were lots of other things that he did that were gross too.

 

Just be discreet, guys, m'kay?

[Guest RenoZ]

Congrats - filthiest thread of the new board!

 

 

 

I can attest to this - the chicken absolutely smelled better than our focking room!!!

 

 

Depends on what you mean by lucky. I had to pay my friends with 2 buckets of KFC to stay out of the motel room so I could have a couple hours alone with this chick. Turns out she had a boyfriend, changed her mind about having sex about 4 times. When all was said and done, the room ended up smelling like a all you can eat seafood bar in 110 degree heat.

[SUXBNME 1,328]

Gross. While I realize that guys do this, it's gross. I didn't know that guys did this until a guy I was dating did it in front of me. He continued to proceed to fool around with me, I was totally disgusted and ended up breaking it off with him. There were lots of other things that he did that were gross too.

 

Just be discreet, guys, m'kay?

 

 

How about using a litmus strip?

 

 

 

Would that be more discreet?

 

[EndGame 0]

First time was shortly after I turned 17, with a chick from Texas who was staying at a local horse riding academy for the summer. We did the deed at the house my parents were building -- it had floors but no roof. As with everyone else here, I lasted about 60 seconds at best.

[dcOne 2]

got my first BJ on my 18th bday

got my first sex on High school graduation night

 

 

That's the suxor that you had to wait 3 years after you got a BJ to have sex for the first time.