If I were to try to go anal tonight...

[AmbassadorOfKwan 0]

Pointers, dos, donts??

[Lionsjunkie 1]

Feed her/him/it some Tequila first

 

Lube usually helps

[SUXBNME 1,499]

Pointers, dos, donts??

 

Do: Turn out the lights (you really don't want to see fecal matter playing hide and seek with each pump)

 

Don't: Respect her in the morning

[football_scooter 0]

My best advice is as follows:

 

Engage your partner - Anal is not something you just go for as a surprise. The woman needs to prepare. Eat right...do an enema, perhaps. Nothing will turn you off faster than pulling out, looking down and seeing a fudgesicle.

 

Not only that, but the smell of fecal matter is not in any way erotic, unless you're German or Japanese from what I've seen online.

 

Finally, and I cannot stress this enough, if she has to take a crap and you "accidentally" slip it up the pooper, you might get a lot more than you bargained for. And if having your girl sh!t the bed doesn't put a dampener on the evening's festivities, I don't know what will.

 

Good luck and God bless.

[jerryskids 6,792]

Feed her/him/it some Tequila first

 

Lube usually helps

Those are a given. I'm married and haven't used condoms in forever. However, I'm considering picking some up for the next such encounter. That way I don't dump my spunk in her, and I don't have poo on my shlong when I'm done.

 

The only reason I haven't done it is because I don't know if I can get past the beginning statement, "hey hon, I picked up some condoms because..." without her kicking my ass.

[Yer mom 2]

Rub and finger the twat till its soaking and leaks down, then slowly work a finger...then 2 into the whales eye, loosen it up a bit and let the fun begin......wait,wait...whats that sound...

 

"Woodchuck to Grey Squirrel...Woodchuck to Grey Squirrel....do you copy? Abort Donkey knock mission..REPEAT...ABORT DONKEY KNOCK MISSION. APPARENTLY THIS DOESNT TIGHTEN THE SPHINCTER AND SHE'LL JUST BE PISSED OFF!!"

[Mad Brad 0]

smoke some pot first.. oh wait forget it MB

[Flashover 0]

If she's scared of you ramming it in, have her back it up into you. That way she will have more control & feel more relaxed. Once its in, pound away and enjoy the anal gape you just gave her.

[texasmouth 1]

I never tried anal before I got married. I guess I should have. It just seems like something porn-star-dirty that I would only want to do with some dirty slut, not my wife. I just have a feeling if I brought it up she would be like what's wrong with sex are you bored with our sex life.....

 

 

Good luck with the nal though buddy, hope it works out for you.

[phillybear 366]

You should bite down on a pillow. During, go to a happy place in your mind. Afterwards, a hot shower to wash away the shame.

[akaoni 0]

Watch out for Santorum!

[football_scooter 0]

You should bite down on a pillow. During, go to a happy place in your mind. Afterwards, a hot shower to wash away the shame.

[hoytdwow 202]

Be sure to give him a reach around.

[Big Blue 06 195]

You should bite down on a pillow. During, go to a happy place in your mind. Afterwards, a hot shower to wash away the shame.

 

I doubt I'll read any post better than this today.

[resser2 0]

I doubt I'll read any post better than this today.

 

 

agreed, that is Awesome -

 

 

any ways - to help your "lady" friend try doing the "Rocker Shocker"

 

Start with 2 in the Pink and add one to the stink.....

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

Feed her/him/it some Tequila first

 

Lube usually helps

 

Drunk or drugged, and a gallon of lube

[RLLD 4,230]

Stick your finger in her ass.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

Snoopy/Cyric claims a six pack of Old Milwaukee Light and a quick call to Doh-Duh and you get all the anal you need.

[Snuff 10]

EXIT only.

[Big_Pete 0]

Pointers, dos, donts??

I'll read the responses after I write this...

#1 use LOTS of lube, especially if it's the 1st time for the woman..

#2 give her arse some play before you go jammin it in. Start with fingers while you're going down on her...

#3 if it's her first time, let her control the action (i.e; how deep/fast)

 

That should get you through it...

sorry if I repeated some comments!

[resser2 0]

I'll read the responses after I write this...

#1 use LOTS of lube, especially if it's the 1st time for the woman..

#2 give her arse some play before you go jammin it in. Start with fingers while you're going down on her...

#3 if it's her first time, let her control the action (i.e; how deep/fast)

 

That should get you through it...

sorry if I repeated some comments!

 

 

don't forget to tell her you love her and she should trust you.

 

 

If she lets you do it..... . the next day go out and buy her some jewlery. START A REWARD SYSTEM!

[SUXBNME 1,499]

START A REWARD SYSTEM!

[AmbassadorOfKwan 0]

OK, that was last night and thanks to all the sage advice I received, lets just say that there was not even an attempt. However, what if I tried it tonight?

[Yer mom 2]

OK, that was last night and thanks to all the sage advice I received, lets just say that there was not even an attempt. However, what if I tried it tonight?

 

 

See Phillybears advice, as punishment for not having tried last night!

[resser2 0]

In my best Yoda voice........

 

Do or Do not!

 

there is NO try!

 

 

In my best Rob Schiender voice from Water Boy......

 

YOU CAN DO IT!

 

 

[Recidivist 1]

I usually try to get consent first and work from there.

[Hurricane Ditka 0]

Be sure to give him a reach around.

Ladies and Gentleman we have a winner!

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I usually try to get consent first and work from there.

 

I disagree. Get her going with some diddling of the dot and some oral play. Get her ready at the front door and then try to have your friend sneak in the back door

[RLLD 4,230]

OK, that was last night and thanks to all the sage advice I received, lets just say that there was not even an attempt. However, what if I tried it tonight?

 

Trust me, get teh finger action going first. Within three months you will have consistent anal...

[GobbleDog 996]

I almost went anal on my g/f once. It seemed like a great idea while I was drunk and horny. Luckily I sobered up in time to realize that blood and poo ain't my thing.

[thorshammer 0]

Now this is the kind of post that has been missing around here. Good job! now get to work on another.....

[MDC 7,411]

Alcohol absolutely helps in convincing your woman to take it up the ass. Prolly makes it less painful, too, but you don't want her totally ripped - otherwise she might not feel the burn until the next day. Finger her twat until it gets nice and juicy and drips down to her ass hole. Then lube up the entire crack and the hole and loosen up with a finger. Then put just the head of your cack on her balloon knot, just barely in the hole, and let her back down on it until you're totally in. Hold there for a minute until she gets used to the feeling of your cack up her ass - when she's comfortable let er' rip. I'd also suggest a lubed condom - it'll help you get in and frankly, it's pretty gross to be sticking your beefstick up someone's stinkhole.

 

Good luck.

[RLLD 4,230]

I sobered up in time to realize that blood and poo ain't my thing.

 

You are dead to me...

[ILoveScratchTickets 0]

anal-eaze

[Apu Nahasapeemapetilon 0]

ATM is a must

[TAS 2]

You're prolly to small for her to realize what's happening anyway, just slide it in...no worries!

[edjr 6,580]

anal-eaze

 

I own stock with this company, for obvious reasons.

[football_scooter 0]

One item not mentioned, and I cannot stress this enough:

 

The evening/day before, absolutely no spicy foods for her, or other such items which might cause loose stool.

 

That is the LAST thing you want. An ounce of prevention, and all that.

[Big_Pete 0]

An ounce of prevention

is worth a pound of cure!

[Flashover 0]

ATM is a must