I bet normal people poop

[wiffleball 4,797]

at the first indication that they have to.

 

Not me. I'm not proud of it. It's not some badge of courage (or more to the point "skidmark"). I really gotta poo right now. But I'm not going. I'm sitting here telling you about it. Cramps, churning, bizarre noises emanating from my belly, sweat pouring down, chills - you name it. I've even started my la maz breathing exercises. "heeee-heee-heee-hoooo-hoooo-hooo".

 

I don't know why I do this to myself. I'm sick. I need help.

 

...But every once in a while, I make it through and the poo subsides. (false labor) Like it did just now. I consider this a victory over the poo. The poo tried its best, but couldn't make it through Fortress: A$sCheek.

 

 

 

...But the poo is determined. Like a wetback determined to cross the border, I know eventually the poo will be back.

 

And I'll be ready.

[heavy-set 39]

at the first indication that they have to.

 

Not me. I'm not proud of it. It's not some badge of courage (or more to the point "skidmark"). I really gotta poo right now. But I'm not going. I'm sitting here telling you about it. Cramps, churning, bizarre noises emanating from my belly, sweat pouring down, chills - you name it. I've even started my la maz breathing exercises. "heeee-heee-heee-hoooo-hoooo-hooo".

 

I don't know why I do this to myself. I'm sick. I need help.

 

...But every once in a while, I make it through and the poo subsides. (false labor) Like it did just now. I consider this a victory over the poo. The poo tried its best, but couldn't make it through Fortress: A$sCheek.

 

...But the poo is determined. Like a wetback determined to cross the border, I know eventually the poo will be back.

 

And I'll be ready.

 

sit on a hard surface, like concrete. it will push the turd back.

[wiffleball 4,797]

sit on a hard surface, like concrete. it will push the turd back.

 

I'm sitting on one of these. It works really well.

[dolfan06 1]

You need to let a couple of small poops across the border, so they can send back money and levi's jeans to support their families.

[wiffleball 4,797]

Okay, I took the kids to the pool. Really disappointing. It's like having a fish put up a really big fight, but then when you real him in, he's barely a keeper. Now I feel sick. That's my own fault. I think that's my body's way of punishing me for fighting the poop. Either that, or some poo backed up into my froat.

[Jeff Garcia 8]

Have fun wearing those Depends when you get older.

[dolfan06 1]

wiffleball's sphincter is like a leather satchel full of dried cow dung that's been drawn tight with a burlap cord and left out in the southwestern sun.

[TheNewGirl 1,637]

Holding your poo is very unhealthy...in MANY ways.