KSB2424 3,082 Posted December 23, 2008 With the year in imaginary sports coming to an end, let us examine some of the more crucial moves of the season, by comparing the players on your team to every girl you've ever been involved with. For all the people that saw this last year, I got lazy and just substituted the players, but oh well it's still funny to me. Santana Moss Drafting him in the 7th round, was like dating a really hot girl from another school. All your friends were jealous. This girl gave you five of the best weeks of your life, and then suddenly moved to Canada. Now, all the other pretty girls already have prom dates, and you are stuck having to ask out Ike Hilliard. Willie Parker A buddy of yours always used to brag about his ex-girlfriend, telling you detailed stories about how she would have sex with him in fast food restaurants or funeral homes. This girl was unbelievable and you had to find out for yourself. Unfortunately, in the time since they were together, she became a hardcore Mormon (which is the same as hurting your knee). You now have to wait nearly an entire season for her to give it up all the while knowing that she went down on your buddy in a Kmart dressing room on their first date. Carson Palmer She had been dating the same guy for three years. She used to be hot, but time has not been well to her, and she has lost that sparkle in her eye. Still, you couldn’t resist picking up the leftovers. Just like this girl, Palmers body had already seen too much wear and tear, and he had a mad tendency for giving it up to people on the other team. Eli Manning What a disappointment! Her sister was so hot, and put up such good numbers. You’ll probably keep dating her, but will eventually realize that she has much smaller breasts and one more conversation about Lil Wayne or High School Musical Three will cause you to stab yourself in the throat with her pink ipod nano. Reggie Bush You still can’t figure this girl out. You know she’s only going to let you down, but you fall for her anyways. After a few good weeks together, she screws three guys in the bathroom during her shift at Hooters, and gives you herpes. You know she’s not keeper material, but your low self-esteem keeps you coming back for more. Ronnie Brown His first few weeks of performing well is the equivalent of hearing a rumor about a girl being involved in a crazy three-way with one of her best friends. Even though she wasn’t that attractive, you immediately asked her out, only to later find that the rumor was about someone totally different. You keep her number programmed in your phone, just in case ADP sprains his ankle. Kellen Winslow This girl always showed up at the party looking really hot. If you got to her early, you may have gotten something out of it, maybe seventy five yards and a touchdown, but if you missed your twenty minute window , she had already thrown up rum punch all over her new white sweater. Donovan McNabb If you drafted this guy, it was the equivalent of trying to date a hot ass prostitute. You knew exactly what you were getting into, so don’t act surprised when you walk in to find her getting donkey punched by her cocaine dealer. Tyler Thigpen The exact equivalent of the nerdy brunette girl in the 80’s movie with the glasses and hair pulled up in a pony-tail. You took a chance on her, maybe because someone bet you that you couldn’t make her prom queen, and it paid off big. Once she got contacts and let her hair down, she was one of the top QB’s in the league. Jamal Lewis / Edge It’s not completely your fault. They looked pretty good after a case of Budwieser. Drew Brees She’s smoking hot, smart and funny. Somehow she gets all your jokes and also thinks you are attractive. She encourages you to spend more time with your friends, and waits at your apartment in nothing but one of your work shirts until you get home. You drafted him in a keeper league, and haven’t looked back since. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CurleyQ 0 Posted December 23, 2008 Very entertaining and sooooooo true! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PackYourNut 47 Posted December 23, 2008 Tom Brady You worked all summer mowing yards just to have enough money to impress her. When it came time for school, your friends tried to warn you and tell you it would never last with a girl like her. She had everything and was the reigning prom queen, most attractive and the most "well equipped". You finally got the nerve to ask her out and to your surprise she said yes to you with the #1 overall pick. You're so excited... you tell all your friends how great this year is gonna be... How much fun your gonna have. You take her out on your first date and start getting hot and heavy... You stick your hands down her pants and BAM! She's got a D!CK! Your year is over, you cant believe what just happened. You cry about how this is so unfair and that it could happen to anyone. Your friends make fun of you and say I told you so! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
