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Ray Lewis's Limo Driver

Chuck Norris.....

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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesnt get wet.

 

Water gets Chuck Norris. :bandana:

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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his living room, it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move.

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Chuck Norris was born on May 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day. Coincidence? I think not!

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Chuck Norris is 1/8 Native American but it has nothing to do with his geology. He ate a Elizabeth Warren once.

:shocking:

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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

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Chuck Norris invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

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Chuck Norris once had a race with the speed of light, and won by the speed of sound.

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Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

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Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of him.

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Chuck Norris took a lie detector test once, and the test administrator ended up crying tears of joy.

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Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.


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