Taking over the entire world: My story

[bostonlager 2,457]

Here I will detail and chronicle my visions and plans to one day rule over the entire world and maybe even the universe if I later feel like we should. 

 

It is January 20, 2025 and just 2 months earlier I was elected to replace DJT as president of these here United States. I am truly honored because Americas is great as fock just as he promised it would be and I know that I have some mighty big shoes to fill. I'm trying my best to be humble, but I do like to remind the country I am the only candidate to ever receive all 538 electoral votes and rightfully so, I deserved every single one. 

I know my first 100 days in office are going to be super important with executive orders and other stuff so I want my inauguration to be more like a party and less of a ceremony. I'm talking 2 big gaggers of the finest cocaine before going on stage to give my speech, but I'll also have a Coors Light in hand because I want my fans to know I'm still common folk too, albeit a common folk with lots and lots of power now...

 

 

[bostonlager 2,457]

Day 1 the first full day after inauguration is unfortunately a "sick day." At this point I'm 44 years old and an all day-all night party that includes coke, ecstasy, booze, and high dollar prostitutes is much harder to recover from than it was back in aught 7. I won't let it go completely to waste though, I have a cabinet to put together. 

 

Vice President: NONE - don't need one- only one with "president" in their title is godddamn me!

Attorney General - Richard K Jones http://www.butlersheriff.org/command/sheriff/

- this dudes knows his sh!t and he knows the law. He's tough on crime and immigrants 

Secretary of Education - John Rocker https://deadspin.com/our-interview-with-john-rocker-221509

- For over a decade John has volunteered to help teach english to non speaking residents. We won't need him for that particular role as we will no longer allow non-english speakers on our soil, but he can use that energy to teach other stuff. We expect John will continue to be a strong pillar of the community. 

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development- I hate the inner-city and pretty much all the people that live there so we will be eliminating this position/department entirely. We will touch on plans for the inner cities later with our new appointed department head, Secretary of Overhaul. 

 

 

[bostonlager 2,457]

Secretary of Interior - EJ Snyder http://www.ejsnyder.com/about/bio/

- EJ is tough as nails, a famous survivalist, and doesn't take sh1t from anyone so he knows about natural resources and other stuff. A great addition to the team 

Secretary of Defense - this position has been replaced with Secretary of Offense - Sylvester Stallone 

- Everyone knows the best defense is a good offense and you can't win if you're not on the offensive. Stallone brings to us his background of portraying Rambo in a handful of motion pictures where he single handedly took out lots of bad guys. Can't wait to see what he can do with 4 branches of army guys. 

Secretary of State - This position has been eliminated because we will no longer be cooperating/communicating with foreign countries. For any further questions or concerns please see the Secretary of Offense. 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Can I throw a name in the hat for Minister of Propaganda? I nominate wiff. He uses his mouth prettier than a $2 wh0re.

[bostonlager 2,457]

If you could take over the world overnight, I believe we would have done it already. In reality it is a slow process and each step must be meticulously calculated and first things first - WE MUST take our own country back before we even think about taking over the planet. From 2008 - 2016 we had to endure the worst president in the history of the universe. Let's make a list of some of the things that made Barry so bad. 

- he was a giant feminine pussssy - (see the way he throws a baseball) 

- he is a f@ggot - He is married to a tranny and his gay bath house visits are no secret. 

- he wasn't even born in the United States - Should never been allowed here let alone be president 

- Because of the above 2 bullet points we can with certainty say he has AIDS 

We should be quite thankful DJT has erased much of the Barry legacy, but I want him completely erased from the history books and we can start by undoing the worst thing he ever did. He made us look like a nation of giant pusssssies the way he was always tip-toeing around like some fairy and always apologizing. Right here, right now the United States officially UNAPOLOGIZES to the rest of the world - ESPECIALLY YOU, Japan!!!! We are not sorry we dropped those fuckking bombs, we would do it all over again, and will if you piss me off. Speaking of the Japs, it really irks the hell out of me when I go to Hawaii and see them all over the place.  I'm sure you all have the potential to be fine people, but you have no place in Hawaii after what you did back in 42. Japs have 48 hours to leave the islands or else. You can come to the 48 and assimilate or go wherever else, I don't care. The unaplogize/jap relocation act has been officially signed. 

bostonlager. 

 

[The Observer 641]

So crazy that it just might work

[fandandy 3,311]

With a campaign slogan like America is Great as Fock it's no surprise that you won in a landslide.

[Strike 3,941]

Thanks President Camacho

[frank 2,144]

I’m in the empire business. 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

1 minute ago, frank said:

I’m in the empire business. 

Jussie?

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,565]

you should bring in Pinky as your runningmate

 

[frank 2,144]

2 minutes ago, RaiderHaters Revenge said:

you should bring in Pinky as your runningmate

 

Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

[bostonlager 2,457]

On 5/17/2019 at 7:58 PM, RaiderHaters Revenge said:

you should bring in Pinky as your runningmate

 

I am not sure who she is, but it is possible we have openings in the kitchen or housekeeping. 

[bostonlager 2,457]

A great nation has sturdy building blocks - great people, with great work ethics, and pride. We will be eliminating all social welfare programs and safety nets very soon and in doing so must have a few pieces of common sense legislation. 

 

The Responsible Reproduction Act

The days of lazy women thinking they can turn their gaping hole into an assembly line of offspring simply to make that welfare check bigger are over. Being a mother may be a "full-time" lol... but it is not one that going to come with a paycheck. This piece of legislation will have two parts. 

1. All welfare queens will be rounded up swiftly for an interrogation meeting where we will be asking the following:

- You obviously do not work, do you have a man or a baby-daddy willing to support you?

Upon answering no her children will be taken into foster custody and she will be admitted to an operating room to have her reproductive innards removed. She will have exactly one month to find employment or find a sucker that will provide for her children and she can them have them back. Failing to do so means she will have to be purged and we will find responsible parents for her leftover litter. 

2. Immediately upon giving birth a woman must have proof of income with her at the hospital or a man who is willing to take care of her. Failure to do so will result in removal of reproductive innards and the one month rule above also applies to employment/finding a sucker. 

 

 

 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

So... This guy is basically hitler? Is this what we've got going now?

[bostonlager 2,457]

Just now, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

So... This guy is basically hitler? Is this what we've got going now?

NO!! I won't be focking the jews over. 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Just now, bostonlager said:

NO!! I won't be focking the jews over. 

So just maniacal dreams of world conquest and a eugenics program? No death camps?

[bostonlager 2,457]

2 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

So just maniacal dreams of world conquest and a eugenics program? No death camps?

People will die, but they will have a choice not to. Its up to them.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Just now, bostonlager said:

People will die, but they will have a choice not to. Its up to them.

Figured maybe you had an Arabic auchwitz thing in mind. My bad. 

[bostonlager 2,457]

6 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Figured maybe you had an Arabic auchwitz thing in mind. My bad. 

I would probably need more public support than I am receiving on that one. We will be shipping all muslims to Antarctica to carry out their whatever it is they want to do. Win/Win

[bostonlager 2,457]

Next is going to be the Sports on TV for children and people that don't like to stay up late

The following leagues must start all nationally televised/postseason/playoff games at 7:00 pm eastern time(or earlier) or else your league is no more. Your godddamn greed for ratings has gone too far. If your league is not on this list, no one focking cares about you and you can start anytime you want. 

NFL (Super Bowl is moved to Saturday too) 

MLB

NCAA FB

NCAA BB

NASCAR

 

 

[jerryskids 5,165]

12 minutes ago, bostonlager said:

Next is going to be the Sports on TV for children and people that don't like to stay up late

The following leagues must start all nationally televised/postseason/playoff games at 7:00 pm eastern time(or earlier) or else your league is no more. Your godddamn greed for ratings has gone too far. If your league is not on this list, no one focking cares about you and you can start anytime you want. 

NFL (Super Bowl is moved to Saturday too) 

MLB

NCAA FB

NCAA BB

NASCAR

 

 

Or, declare the Monday after the SB to be a national holiday.  I've wanted this for decades. 

[bostonlager 2,457]

3 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Or, declare the Monday after the SB to be a national holiday.  I've wanted this for decades. 

If I had faith in employers to abide I would. Lots of national holidays out there that only the banks and post office take off. 

[KSB2424 3,082]

Can we please get rid of the penny?

[bostonlager 2,457]

Just now, KSB2424 said:

Can we please get rid of the penny?

I will do you one better. We are bringing back the all copper penny. 

[jerryskids 5,165]

9 minutes ago, bostonlager said:

I will do you one better. We are bringing back the all copper penny. 

Arizona thanks you.  Copper is one of our 5 C's (copper, cattle, cotton, citrus, climate). 

[bostonlager 2,457]

The following constitutional amendments have been erased:

13 

14 

19 

22 

24 

 

[bostonlager 2,457]

Immigration Reform

America is mostly full and we will no longer be taking any male immigrants period. We will have a small window for attractive foreign women who are high/weight proportionate. These ladies will be admitted on a case by case basis by myself and special cabinet I have set up called the Casting Cabinet. 

The days of our leaky boarders are over. America has never taken advantage of the 1000+ militia groups we have through out the nation and that changes now. We will be using the patriot militia groups to help secure our boarders. All illegal boarding crossing will now be considered an act of war and those choosing to illegally enter our land will be shot on site and left for the coyotes. It may take a while, but we will eventually take back California from Mexico.