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titans&bucs&bearsohmy!

Can your wife do simple tasks by herself?

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Mine can't. It's really annoying. To get her US visa, I filled out the damn application (with constant second guessing from her of course. I mean, one of us went to law school, I think I can handle an application form), I took a day off work to take her to the embassy (in a city 30 Miles away) and I sat outside the gate waiting for her. When the passport was kept, and they wouldn't sell her a bus ticket home, it was me who figured out how to get us home.

Now, she needs a vaccine. She's never had an MMR. My sister, understandably, doesn't want her around her six month old baby without one.

As usual, it's up to me to figure out where the fock to do this. I told her I'd send her, and she gives me sh!t for not going with her.

I got annoyed and barked back, "why the fock should I lose a day's pay to go hold your hand while you get a focking shot? I speak barely any more Chinese than you. You can use Google translate just the same as I can."

Women kill me. I would be embarrassed to be as focking helpless as most of them purport to be.

I've long since accepted that the whole "equal partner" thing is a ridiculous fantasy, but fock, can you run a simple errand without Daddy once in a while?

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My wife was complaining recently about housework. I told her to stop whining, because women's chores are simple monkey chores. I also told her that she is both physically and mentally incapable of doing the things that I do around the house.

There is no way the average woman can change brakes on a vehicle, snake a drain, change lawnmower blades, or repair a furnace control board.

Any simpleton can load a washing machine.

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My wife is pretty capable. Works, cooks, cleans, deals with the dogs, etc. It’s one of the reasons I married her. She’s not a helpless little girl. 

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Duh, it's because the patriarchy has robbed her of her confidence. It's obvious. She doesn't feel confident enough to do these simple tasks. It's your fault for not building her up enough and empowering her. Gosh, haven't you learned anything?

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It took me like five minutes of feeling like a dumbass to fold and unfold the stroller the first time or three I'd done it but once I'd gotten the knack of it, it's like fifteen seconds. The time I wasn't there, it took her a half hour or so before she'd failed enough and gave up.

I understand the feeling since it's how I am with computer stuff: fail, fail, fail. Computers are my kryptonite. If it's not idiotproof, I'm lost. I can't figure it out. My computer is loaded with stuff I'd downloaded but never figured out how to open/use. Unhelpfully, many programming morons across the planet thinks because someone's operating system is in Chinese, they'll want the Chinese version forced on them of whatever the fock they download from an English site. I've been at this for twenty years and you'd think somebody along the way would figure out to at least ask what language I want sh*t installed in if the downloading site language and operating system are in different languages.

But usually, if something's not computer related, between patience, dumb luck and dumb muscle, I can usually plow my way through to sort of satisfaction although I can break things too (as far as I can tell, my skills rival Sux's talent for microwave removal).  

I like to open up the little electric train and see if I can figure out why the focker won't go.

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That's what you get for marrying a 14 year old. 

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She's a 3/10 but thinks she is a 9/10. Has no idea how much stuff gets done around her. Always been this way. Total daddy's girl.

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She doesn’t really require much hand-holding unless she’s dealing with legal or financial stuff she’s not seen before. 

And I don’t really expect her to be Mrs Fixit.  I take care of that stuff. 

She’s more than competent in other areas, as are your wives.  

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5 hours ago, Voltaire said:

It took me like five minutes of feeling like a dumbass to fold and unfold the stroller the first time or three I'd done it but once I'd gotten the knack of it, it's like fifteen seconds. The time I wasn't there, it took her a half hour or so before she'd failed enough and gave up.

I understand the feeling since it's how I am with computer stuff: fail, fail, fail. Computers are my kryptonite. If it's not idiotproof, I'm lost. I can't figure it out. My computer is loaded with stuff I'd downloaded but never figured out how to open/use. Unhelpfully, many programming morons across the planet thinks because someone's operating system is in Chinese, they'll want the Chinese version forced on them of whatever the fock they download from an English site. I've been at this for twenty years and you'd think somebody along the way would figure out to at least ask what language I want sh*t installed in if the downloading site language and operating system are in different languages.

But usually, if something's not computer related, between patience, dumb luck and dumb muscle, I can usually plow my way through to sort of satisfaction although I can break things too (as far as I can tell, my skills rival Sux's talent for microwave removal).  

I like to open up the little electric train and see if I can figure out why the focker won't go.

You can't get an English OS?  Stupid question, but would it not work in China for some reason if it was in English?  I've never been to China so I have no idea.  If it would work, why not just get the English version?  

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7 hours ago, lickin_starfish said:

My wife was complaining recently about housework. I told her to stop whining, because women's chores are simple monkey chores. I also told her that she is both physically and mentally incapable of doing the things that I do around the house.

There is no way the average woman can change brakes on a vehicle, snake a drain, change lawnmower blades, or repair a furnace control board.

Any simpleton can load a washing machine.

You need to post here more.  You crack me up.

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Yes but she always has to ask. Do you want, wanna, do you want me, what do you want etc...

Just this morning my truck was blocking her in. She came inside and asked if she should feed the baby ( which is what I was doing) and have me move it, or move the truck herself.

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Yes, my wife is very capable.  Only thing she is not great at is booking travel.  I am much better at hunting for best rates and packages.  Oh, and picking a spot in a parking lot.  She is a good driver but waffles in lots.

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Absolutely. She does all kinds of sh!t around the house by herself. The only time she really asks for help is if there's something too heavy for her to lift or move. She didn't like my gas powered hedge trimmer because of the pull cord starter so I bought a battery powered one that she uses with no problem. Same with the lawn mower. She can change her own oil, change a flat tire....

Plus she's a helluva cook and keeps a spotless house. And rarely complains about anything. 

Also loves to  :cheers:

 

She's damn near the perfect woman.  

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16 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

...and knows your FFT password...

:lol:

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So she doesn't have to get vaccinated before she comes here?. No one should get in here, especially from China or Africa, without vaccinations. No one. For any fockin reason. The stupid shite this country does is amazing. 

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3 hours ago, 5-Points said:

Absolutely. She does all kinds of sh!t around the house by herself. The only time she really asks for help is if there's something too heavy for her to lift or move. She didn't like my gas powered hedge trimmer because of the pull cord starter so I bought a battery powered one that she uses with no problem. Same with the lawn mower. She can change her own oil, change a flat tire....

Plus she's a helluva cook and keeps a spotless house. And rarely complains about anything. 

Also loves to  :cheers:

 

She's damn near the perfect woman.  

Her name is Greg?

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I think if you live in rural America, then you need to know how to run a farm and everything that goes with it.  Be a handyman with a green thumb.  But if you don't live in rural America, then you absolutely MUST understand high level math, money and investing.  There are so many awesome financial opportunities in urban American life that if you don't have a really strong foundation in math, money and investing, you might as well be pissing in the wind.

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2 hours ago, riversco said:

I think if you live in rural America, then you need to know how to run a farm and everything that goes with it.  Be a handyman with a green thumb.  But if you don't live in rural America, then you absolutely MUST understand high level math, money and investing.  There are so many awesome financial opportunities in urban American life that if you don't have a really strong foundation in math, money and investing, you might as well be pissing in the wind.

You are trying to outthink the room.  Bwahahahah.  

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9 hours ago, fandandy said:

You can't get an English OS?  Stupid question, but would it not work in China for some reason if it was in English?  I've never been to China so I have no idea.  If it would work, why not just get the English version?  

Yes. You can. I bought a huawei laptop two months ago. Had the guy at the store put the international version of Windows on it. So has everyone I know who has bought a computer here. 

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Both of my brothers married nurses who are leads/whatever it's called. One was a nurse in the Marines for a little while. Both very capable. One grew up with a builder dad and does a fair amount of home improvement stuff I intially figure my brother did.

Myself on the other hand, working on it. Biggest hurdle is still not doing enough driving to get over my high anxiety with it. I've always liked the idea of a guy who understands mechanical things well because I'm slow there. Boyfriend does decently, and Physics (which has always intrigued me because I have to work to understand it) is his area. He's also pretty good with logistics and navigation, and when we do trips he likes covering those bases fortunately. And that's perfect because what I love most is just feeling unfettered. Not checking my phone, etc.

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My sense of your wife from before was that she was fairly independent; stepped up and helped her family. Can she really not do some of this stuff, or is she telling herself she can't because she's just stuck in a mode where leaning on you feels right? She might be mingling how much you assist her with how devoted you are. But now that you're both in it for the long haul, she should (I say this from a western POV at least, so it may not be what she should do, all things considered) step up a little. But I will say, I definitely like to feel like I can "lean on my man" if needs be. I definitely don't want to actually be a pain in his ass though. But the times he has helped me are really appreciated.

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2 minutes ago, naomi said:

My sense of your wife from before was that she was fairly independent; stepped up and helped her family. Can she really not do some of this stuff, or is she telling herself she can't because she's just stuck in a mode where leaning on you feels right? She might be mingling how much you assist her with how devoted you are. But now that you're both in it for the long haul, she should (I say this from a western POV at least, so it may not be what she should do, all things considered) step up a little. But I will say, I definitely like to feel like I can "lean on my man" if needs be. I definitely don't want to actually be a pain in his ass though. But the times he has helped me are really appreciated.

That's why it frustrates me. If I had married a helpless twit, that would be on me. But she's basically been on her own since she was 11. She lived abroad alone for 5 years before I even met her. And yeah, a lot of it is probably because she knows she doesn't have to handle anything, because ultimately I will.

To be fair, she does literally all the housework. But damn woman, figure out how to do an errand without me. If it were me, I would never even consider needing her help. 

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Is there a cultural component at play? If all housework is covered by the gal, they expect the guy to do all the rest?

My feeling is let her know your feeling. That you cherish her but want to see her feel like she can, and should be managing some of these things because she is a competent adult. And maybe help out with something domestic that eats a lot of her time.

If there's not some dynamic...psyche or practical, it just sounds like laziness. So I'm thinking there's some dynamic. And your presence for life step oriented things is commensurate still in her mind with your devotion, maybe. 

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48 minutes ago, naomi said:

Is there a cultural component at play? If all housework is covered by the gal, they expect the guy to do all the rest?

My feeling is let her know your feeling. That you cherish her but want to see her feel like she can, and should be managing some of these things because she is a competent adult. And maybe help out with something domestic that eats a lot of her time.

If there's not some dynamic...psyche or practical, it just sounds like laziness. So I'm thinking there's some dynamic. And your presence for life step oriented things is commensurate still in her mind with your devotion, maybe. 

Yeah, she's certainly not lazy. I'm the lazy one.

It certainly has a cultural component. Asian women are encouraged to be delicate flowers who need men to do everything for them. In China, there is a thing called sa jiao where women will literally act like children, pout and even throw tantrums to get what they want. Filipino culture is less that way in both respects, but its still there.

Hell, it exists in American culture too. The old garden variety "never have an opinion on where to eat" kind of thing.

I've tried to be patient with it. I know she comes from a very limited background in terms of opportunity to experience things that I take as commonplace, but sometimes it gets old. She has made a lot of progress in terms of willingness to spend money and try new things, but with crap like visas and running errands in China (which is, of course, difficult, as we don't speak the language and they are retarded) she still leaves it all to me. When I was trying to do her visa, she kept trying to put it off, and I got mad and yelled. We have to renew our Chinese visas too, plus my whole family was waiting on an answer, so activities could be booked and planned. I yelled something to the effect of "I get to go either way, you're the one who needs a visa, get on it."

When we first started dating, she said she wanted to travel, which is obviously very important to me. I always asked her, "Where do you want to go?" She'd reply that she doesn't care. I have learned that if I plan three trips (which I like to do anyway) and let her choose, she will. That works out well. But even with that, once we are on the ground, figuring out where to go in each city, how to do things like exchange money, book tours, arrange transportation... that's all me. In Hanoi last month, she made a crack that we were lost. I looked at her and replied that I would happily follow her if she wanted to put her big girl pants on and be the navigator. She quickly declined.

All in all, she's amazing, and god knows she has her sh!t to put up with with me. Baby steps I guess. Part of it is probably me. I have zero patience, and when there is an annoying task that must be done, I look to do it as quickly as humanly focking possible. She, like most women, lives in a completely different conception of time than I do, so I get annoyed.

Anyway, thanks geeks for letting me vent in a forum that won't have me sleeping on the couch.

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Judge not lest ye be judged.

Perhaps she's posting on a cooking forearm 'Can your husband do simple things around the house by himself?'

If she's taking care of everything in the house AND throwing you great sechs, dude be content with her. 

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23 minutes ago, Filthy Fernadez said:

Judge not lest ye be judged.

Perhaps she's posting on a cooking forearm 'Can your husband do simple things around the house by himself?'

If she's taking care of everything in the house AND throwing you great sechs, dude be content with her. 

Oh I'm far more than content with her. That's why I'm doing my b!tching here rather than IRL. 

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Just now, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Oh I'm far more than content with her. That's why I'm doing my b!tching here rather than IRL. 

Good deal. :cheers:

My wife is far from helpless but has her moments with procrastination, etc.........I just try to focus on the good stuff and hope she does the same for me.

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2 minutes ago, Filthy Fernadez said:

Good deal. :cheers:

My wife is far from helpless but has her moments with procrastination, etc.........I just try to focus on the good stuff and hope she does the same for me.

Oh I am absolutely aware that I by far have the better end of the deal.

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31 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Oh I am absolutely aware that I by far have the better end of the deal.

You're putting the puzzy on a pedestal again. 

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4 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Nah.  This one just treats me right. 

That's how it's supposed to work. You both threat each other right. No extra credit for that. Now a threesome is a different story. 

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