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wiffleball

Is there any HR department that isn't freaking worthless?

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Get hired by one company. Background check, the whole nine. A month later I got promoted to another department. HR sends me an email stating that I have to complete a background check. I tell them I already have. They tell me that was through x company, and this department uses z company. So I sent her an email from z company stating that they've done my background check a month ago and if they're happy to send me a hard copy in the mail.

 

I also have an email from my current department stating that they received the background report from z company and congratulations on being hired.

 

You would think that would clear things up. But this is HR were talking about.

 

"Oh, I believe that's only for your drug test."

 

Then why the frick does it say background report three times in one e-mail? And no, it's not for the drug test. That was done by j Corp.

 

Oh, and mr. Whiffle ball? please complete the transfer form before your interview.

 

Well, that's going to be difficult seeing as how my interview was last week. And the reason there is a transfer form is because I passed the interview. Hence I'm transferring to a new department.

 

You stupid flock.

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Most worthless “department” in any company.

I take that back. Sometimes they boost employee moral...if there is a hottie or two.

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No, HR departments really do suck, typically companies shave them down first when cutting costs....so the good people (expensive) go, leaving an understaffed group of barely capable people.....unless of course they sniff our some bullsh!t "harrassment" horesh!t.....

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At a tech company HR is critical to having hot women to ogle.  You see, the tech departments tend to have very few women, so they overload departments like HR with them to give the impression that they are diverse.  Inevitably they hire some hot young things.  Win-win.  :thumbsup:

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i agree they suck but we wouldnt even need them if employees werent either such needy retards or hoooog ass poosay drama wimmen. fock sake quit yer whining and do your job. 

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2 minutes ago, porkbutt said:

i agree they suck but we wouldnt even need them if employees werent either such needy retards or hoooog ass poosay drama wimmen. fock sake quit yer whining and do your job. 

Good point. And if I want to slap Sharon in accounting’s ass, what’s the big deal? I’m getting real sick of her whining to HR.

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29 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

Get hired by one company. Background check, the whole nine. A month later I got promoted to another department. HR sends me an email stating that I have to complete a background check. I tell them I already have. They tell me that was through x company, and this department uses z company. So I sent her an email from z company stating that they've done my background check a month ago and if they're happy to send me a hard copy in the mail.

 

I also have an email from my current department stating that they received the background report from z company and congratulations on being hired.

 

You would think that would clear things up. But this is HR were talking about.

 

"Oh, I believe that's only for your drug test."

 

Then why the frick does it say background report three times in one e-mail? And no, it's not for the drug test. That was done by j Corp.

 

Oh, and mr. Whiffle ball? please complete the transfer form before your interview.

 

Well, that's going to be difficult seeing as how my interview was last week. And the reason there is a transfer form is because I passed the interview. Hence I'm transferring to a new department.

 

You stupid flock.

Finally off fries. Congrats! 

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5 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Finally off fries. Congrats! 

Thanks. But I just know I'll never get Mike Fox off of shakes.

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30 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

At a tech company HR is critical to having hot women to ogle.  You see, the tech departments tend to have very few women, so they overload departments like HR with them to give the impression that they are diverse.  Inevitably they hire some hot young things.  Win-win.  :thumbsup:

You misspelled the AR department.

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36 minutes ago, RLLD said:

No, HR departments really do suck, typically companies shave them down first when cutting costs....so the good people (expensive) go, leaving an understaffed group of barely capable people.....unless of course they sniff our some bullsh!t "harrassment" horesh!t.....

Our company tried that with the last downturn, they cut the HR staff and moved engineers in the position to save the engineers jobs.

 

The problem is that the engineers were no better. Being in HR is a lose-lose proposition.

 

 

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A long time ago I worked in an HR department for a state government. I can truly tell you that there was nothing more worthless than that. But it was pretty fun because most of the actual administrative stuff was handled by other departments (like retirement and benefits) so we basically just focked around all day. Good times

https://giphy.com/gifs/work-games-tweets-b7MdMkkFCyCWI

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Where's kilroy? He'll straighten it out for you.

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The best thing about HR is when they have their investigations after someone complains.  Then they find out every little thing everyone is doing wrong and everyone gets either fired or sanctioned.

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10 hours ago, RLLD said:

No, HR departments really do suck, typically companies shave them down first when cutting costs....so the good people (expensive) go, leaving an understaffed group of barely capable people.....unless of course they sniff our some bullsh!t "harrassment" horesh!t.....

Quality goes first in my industry.  Black Belts, Six sigma-ites and the lot.  Wasted resources.

THEN HR

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7 hours ago, nobody said:

The best thing about HR is when they have their investigations after someone complains.  Then they find out every little thing everyone is doing wrong and everyone gets either fired or sanctioned.

We had this one woman who filed a complaint and they did some interviews....they get to this one dumbarse engineer who essentially said that they weren't mean to her, they just thought she was stupid, and to his knowledge stupid wasnt a protected class....  😅

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HR exists to protect the company from liability. Nobody should expect anything else from them. 

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11 minutes ago, MDC said:

HR exists to protect the company from liability. Nobody should expect anything else from them. 

Correct. But in part, they also protect YOU as well....by proxy....

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11 hours ago, Gladiators said:

Good point. And if I want to slap Sharon in accounting’s ass, what’s the big deal? I’m getting real sick of her whining to HR.

waaaaaaaaah patty turned the heat up to 80 and im hot. the company handbook says i get a 15 minute break and im taking it no matter what. waaaaaaahhhh. i had to answer phone during my lunch waaaaaaaah. i have to make the coffee everyday. waaahhh my job description says i don't have to do this or that. waaaaaaaaaaaaah. she gets the mail it's not my job. i need paternity leave. the company should do this, the company should that. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

stfu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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51 minutes ago, RLLD said:

Correct. But in part, they also protect YOU as well....by proxy....

That’s dangerous thinking. They’re not on your side and if you get embroiled in an HR mess you’ll want to remember that. Sure there’s a chance you end up in bed together given the particular circumstances but that’s purely due to the interests of the company and not protecting any particular manager etc

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1 hour ago, MDC said:

HR exists to protect the company from liability. Nobody should expect anything else from them. 

But all the BS hoops they make us jump through do not protect companies from liability.  

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12 hours ago, porkbutt said:

i agree they suck but we wouldnt even need them if employees werent either such needy retards or hoooog ass poosay drama wimmen. fock sake quit yer whining and do your job. 

This is correct.  My wife has a newly hired tech guy who was caught sleeping and vaping on the job a couple weeks ago.  They took him for a drug test, which he passed.  While he was on suspension, awaiting the test results, he lawyer-ed up claiming PTSD from his time in the military. 

So, HR brings him back but won't tell my wife exactly why they had to.  Only that they have to make reasonable accommodations for him.  Of course, all this occurred AFTER his 90 day probationary period.  Meanwhile, he's been overheard talking about the number of kills he had.  

What ever happened to the days when you could just fire someone if they were a sh!tty employee? 

 

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30 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

This is correct.  My wife has a newly hired tech guy who was caught sleeping and vaping on the job a couple weeks ago.  They took him for a drug test, which he passed.  While he was on suspension, awaiting the test results, he lawyer-ed up claiming PTSD from his time in the military. 

So, HR brings him back but won't tell my wife exactly why they had to.  Only that they have to make reasonable accommodations for him.  Of course, all this occurred AFTER his 90 day probationary period.  Meanwhile, he's been overheard talking about the number of kills he had.  

What ever happened to the days when you could just fire someone if they were a sh!tty employee? 

 

yup. getting worse by the day.

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3 hours ago, IGotWorms said:

That’s dangerous thinking. They’re not on your side and if you get embroiled in an HR mess you’ll want to remember that. Sure there’s a chance you end up in bed together given the particular circumstances but that’s purely due to the interests of the company and not protecting any particular manager etc

I know they are not on "my" side, but in following their guidance i am usually kept safe as a result.....from THEM.....

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You guys work for some shitty companies.  The level of morons in HR is no more or no less than any other group.  

Of course many of you would look at HR with disdain given that most of you spend your work time posting on a message bored.  They probably know you guys by the size of your complaint folder.  :lol:

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7 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

You guys work for some shitty companies.  The level of morons in HR is no more or no less than any other group.  

Of course many of you would look at HR with disdain given that most of you spend your work time posting on a message bored.  They probably know you guys by the size of your complaint folder.  :lol:

:D

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Some chick called HR on a bunch of us.  Engineering.  She is not dumb, but she had a tendency to always get bogged down in the weeds.  One thing that would always annoy me was she'd ask a question, I'd answer it.  Then a day later, I'd hear her asking other people the same question.

One day, I over heard asking a question I already answered the day before, and I go over and say, "Didn't I already answer that for you yesterday?" 

She thought some signal she perform a certain way because the name implied something.  What she didn't understand is the name was just misleading.  She says, "but it's named this."  I say, "it could be named Jason.  That doesn't mean it's going to jump out of the box wearing a hockey mask."

She says, "why are you attacking me!?!"

I see the HR complaint coming, so I immediately apologize.  She calls HR since she's had similar run-ins with pretty much everyone and says it's a hostile work environment.

She got in a car accident last March and has been out on medical leave ever since saying she broke both her wrists and can't type.  She's refusing to come back to work without voice-to-text software.

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22 hours ago, wiffleball said:

Get hired by one company. Background check, the whole nine. A month later I got promoted to another department. HR sends me an email stating that I have to complete a background check. I tell them I already have. They tell me that was through x company, and this department uses z company. So I sent her an email from z company stating that they've done my background check a month ago and if they're happy to send me a hard copy in the mail.

 

I also have an email from my current department stating that they received the background report from z company and congratulations on being hired.

 

You would think that would clear things up. But this is HR were talking about.

 

"Oh, I believe that's only for your drug test."

 

Then why the frick does it say background report three times in one e-mail? And no, it's not for the drug test. That was done by j Corp.

 

Oh, and mr. Whiffle ball? please complete the transfer form before your interview.

 

Well, that's going to be difficult seeing as how my interview was last week. And the reason there is a transfer form is because I passed the interview. Hence I'm transferring to a new department.

 

You stupid flock.

All that to work at Wendy's?   :wacko:

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1 hour ago, nobody said:

Some chick called HR on a bunch of us.  Engineering.  She is not dumb, but she had a tendency to always get bogged down in the weeds.  One thing that would always annoy me was she'd ask a question, I'd answer it.  Then a day later, I'd hear her asking other people the same question.

One day, I over heard asking a question I already answered the day before, and I go over and say, "Didn't I already answer that for you yesterday?" 

She thought some signal she perform a certain way because the name implied something.  What she didn't understand is the name was just misleading.  She says, "but it's named this."  I say, "it could be named Jason.  That doesn't mean it's going to jump out of the box wearing a hockey mask."

She says, "why are you attacking me!?!"

I see the HR complaint coming, so I immediately apologize.  She calls HR since she's had similar run-ins with pretty much everyone and says it's a hostile work environment.

She got in a car accident last March and has been out on medical leave ever since saying she broke both her wrists and can't type.  She's refusing to come back to work without voice-to-text software.

You’re cooked if she goes to HR—you’re just a nobody!

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Just now, IGotWorms said:

You’re cooked if she goes to HR—you’re just a nobody!

Coming from one who knows. 

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I think she did go to HR.  Leadership gathered everyone up and gave us a lecture on respect with HR present.  The director even hammered the point that if someone apologizes, let it go.  I'm glad I swallowed my pride and didn't press the issue.

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31 minutes ago, IGotWorms said:

You’re cooked if she goes to HR—you’re just a nobody!

I lol'ed.

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On 9/17/2019 at 4:21 PM, nobody said:

Some chick called HR on a bunch of us.  Engineering.  She is not dumb, but she had a tendency to always get bogged down in the weeds.  One thing that would always annoy me was she'd ask a question, I'd answer it.  Then a day later, I'd hear her asking other people the same question.

One day, I over heard asking a question I already answered the day before, and I go over and say, "Didn't I already answer that for you yesterday?" 

She thought some signal she perform a certain way because the name implied something.  What she didn't understand is the name was just misleading.  She says, "but it's named this."  I say, "it could be named Jason.  That doesn't mean it's going to jump out of the box wearing a hockey mask."

She says, "why are you attacking me!?!"

I see the HR complaint coming, so I immediately apologize.  She calls HR since she's had similar run-ins with pretty much everyone and says it's a hostile work environment.

She got in a car accident last March and has been out on medical leave ever since saying she broke both her wrists and can't type.  She's refusing to come back to work without voice-to-text software.

The thing I've learned about female engineers is that most are competent, because they had to really want to do that career to pursue it despite contrary societal pressures.  But then some, you wonder how they slid through the cracks and got an engineering degree.  These are the ones likely to call HR.

When I started, one of the women on our rotation program was black and from a traditional black college.  She was such a dim bulb but she checked so many boxes... she is probably still there, contributing nothing.  :(

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57 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

The thing I've learned about female engineers is that most are competent, because they had to really want to do that career to pursue it despite contrary societal pressures.  But then some, you wonder how they slid through the cracks and got an engineering degree.  These are the ones likely to call HR.

When I started, one of the women on our rotation program was black and from a traditional black college.  She was such a dim bulb but she checked so many boxes... she is probably still there, contributing nothing.  :(

Are you sure she didn't check so many squares? 

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Just now, Hardcore troubadour said:

Are you sure she didn't check so many squares? 

Well played.  :D

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I just listened to some stupid training where they used the terms, "micro-aggressions" and "micro-inequities" when talking about unconscious bias.  Holy fock!  How about a gigantic punch in the face!!!! :mad:

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