Do men really love?

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

25 minutes ago, peenie said:

I know that I shouldn't base the marital success of the rich and famous to most people, but most people do divorce. Even if my question is silly, insulting, stupid...I truly enjoy reading all your opinions. It helps me learn.

Relationships are hard. All of them. Parent child can be hard. Romantic ones are more so.

There are some lies we are told that contribute to the difficulty. One you hit on... Love is forever. It certainly can be, but it isn't always. People change. A couple has to try to change together. Sometimes they can, often times not.

The bigger lie, as told by the Beatles, is "all you need is love." that is just flagrant bullish!t. Love is great and one of the fundamental experiences of the human condition, but you certainly need more than that to make a relationship work. Trust, communication, things like that.

And the nature of romantic relationships is also a cultural thing, with differences in different parts of the world.

Here in China, for example, marriage is first, foremost, and often only, about procreation. The families have much to do with the selection of spouses in many cases, and the mother in law daughter in law relationship is a huge one. Sometimes good, often fraught with hostility. The newlyweds are expected to breed immediately, and they often pretty much hand the kids over to their parents to raise. They in turn will raise their grandchildren. It is common for there to be little or no affection or even sex afterward, and often the man (and sometimes the woman as well) will seek these things elsewhere. While there are problems with this family model too, it also has supports built in. 

Western society, by contrast, is a harder thing I think. In today's America, in the vast majority of cases, both parents must have a full time job to keep the family afloat. They often have little to no help with the children. Between two full time jobs, the ordinary work of maintaining a home, the work and stress that comes with children... There is little if any time and money left for the two parents to have any real romantic life together, or interests outside for that matter. Is it any wonder that, eventually, these strains Crack a relationship and resentment creeps in? Or when some little hot thing comes a calling, they find fertile ground in a person who never has anything about them? 

I honestly don't know how people do it. I can't and won't. I just am not down for that kind of stress. 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,633]

Love is like a rock 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

1 minute ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Love is like a rock 

Can be. With my ex wife, it was a rock around my neck and I was in deep water. 

I loved her. But after 8 years of mind games, manipulation, belittlement, and 5 years of no secks, that turned first to hate and ultimately, no feelings at all. By the time I told her it was over, I was stone cold.

She had ridiculously lofty expectations about what a woman is entitled to, and no notion of being a team player. I felt guilty for years. Obligation, duty, and guilt only keep a guy, even a dumb ass like I was, around for so long. You only get one life, I ain't gonna spend it miserable. 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,633]

7 minutes ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Can be. With my ex wife, it was a rock around my neck and I was in deep water. 

I loved her. But after 8 years of mind games, manipulation, belittlement, and 5 years of no secks, that turned first to hate and ultimately, no feelings at all. By the time I told her it was over, I was stone cold.

She had ridiculously lofty expectations about what a woman is entitled to, and no notion of being a team player. I felt guilty for years. Obligation, duty, and guilt only keep a guy, even a dumb ass like I was, around for so long. You only get one life, I ain't gonna spend it miserable. 

I was referring to the 80's Donnie  Iris song. Was a great strip club tune. 

[peenie 1,690]

Such a great thread! Great answers!

Thank you. 

[Gladiators 1,904]

7 minutes ago, peenie said:

Such a great thread! Great answers!

Thank you. 

Time to Peenie it?

[Reality 2,710]

This thread is focked.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

24 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I was referring to the 80's Donnie  Iris song. Was a great strip club tune. 

Don't know that one. Sorry bout that.  

[vuduchile 1,941]

1 hour ago, peenie said:

I know that I shouldn't base the marital success of the rich and famous to most people, but most people do divorce. Even if my question is silly, insulting, stupid...I truly enjoy reading all your opinions. It helps me learn.

Roughly 41% of marriages end in divorce.  That’s a lot but not most. 

My ex wife cheated on me.  I guess women must not be capable of loving.  

Or, maybe she’s just a stupid, selfish slut with daddy issues and low self esteem. 

[MDC 5,890]

4 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

Roughly 41% of marriages end in divorce.  That’s a lot but not most. 

My ex wife cheated on me.  I guess women must not be capable of loving.  

Or, maybe she’s just a stupid, selfish slut with daddy issues a low self esteem. 

She sure was.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

j/k

[vuduchile 1,941]

1 minute ago, MDC said:

She sure was.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

j/k

Still is, I’m sure. 

[IGotWorms 3,312]

7 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

Roughly 41% of marriages end in divorce.  That’s a lot but not most. 

My ex wife cheated on me.  I guess women must not be capable of loving.  

Or, maybe she’s just a stupid, selfish slut with daddy issues and low self esteem. 

Boy, I bet it was fun at first though.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Just now, IGotWorms said:

Boy, I bet it was fun at first though.

Yes it was. But there were also many red flags, and I stupidly ignored them. 

[t.j. booker 206]

True love is overlooking your partners faults to make the marriage work. When I caught Gloria having sex with the assistant manager at the bank where she works did I leave her? Heck no! I decided to take a long look in the mirror and ask myself what I did to make her seek out sexy times with a chinaman.

And when I caught her with Lamar, Jamaal, DeAndre, Marquis, Cornell, Xavier, Manuel, the busboy at Chili’s, my awful neighbor George etc. did I bail? Heck no! I looked at it as an opportunity for much needed introspection. I’m no quitter.

Then she left.

 

[peenie 1,690]

13 minutes ago, vuduchile said:

Yes it was. But there were also many red flags, and I stupidly ignored them. 

Good one, in general do people change? Do you find a partner and with work they can change or do you find a partner and accept their flaws? 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

9 minutes ago, peenie said:

Good one, in general do people change? Do you find a partner and with work they can change or do you find a partner and accept their flaws? 

If a person will cheat on someone to be with you, they'll probably cheat again in the future.

[RLLD 3,455]

I think it works both ways.

Marriage should be a partnership, but too often women allow their selfish nature to ruin it.  Men are not innocent in this, but I would suggest that women can do more to help themselves.

 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

1 minute ago, RLLD said:

I think it works both ways.

Marriage should be a partnership, but too often women allow their selfish nature to ruin it.  Men are not innocent in this, but I would suggest that women can do more to help themselves.

 

Both should maintain the Dating attitude. Keep yourself up, keep the sex/intimacy flowing, keep the fire stoked.

[Fireballer 2,381]

14 hours ago, peenie said:

Do you guys truly love your wives or do you love until something better comes along? It's incredible to me that this guy would leave his wife after 50+ years. Did he fall out of love or maybe love is fleeing? Wtf?

https://nypost.com/2019/03/16/billionaire-harry-macklowes-new-wife-i-kind-of-saved-him/

Go review all if the info in the BJ instructional posts from the other day and ask this question again in 12 months.

[peenie 1,690]

12 minutes ago, RLLD said:

but too often women allow their selfish nature to ruin it. 

 I would suggest that women can do more to help themselves.

 

Lies! Women are selfless angels.

[Fireballer 2,381]

9 minutes ago, Filthy Fernadez said:

Both should maintain the Dating attitude. Keep yourself up, keep the sex/intimacy flowing, keep the fire stoked.

No one has control over aging, etc...but dont become disgusting. You owe it to your partner to at least be healthy and try not to be repulsive.  You cant complain about not getting a BJ if your bride has to hold blubber out of the way. 

[peenie 1,690]

2 minutes ago, Fireballer said:

Go review all if the info in the BJ instructional posts from the other day and ask this question again in 12 months.

I'm sure that guy was sick of his wife and no matter how skilled she was at giving BJs, a new younger woman is more appealing.

[Big Guy 1,400]

somebody had to do it......

 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

8 minutes ago, peenie said:

a new younger woman is more appealing.

The telling part is the 'new younger woman' in this case was 64. So in this case, it's not just about BJs as 2 billion would get the guy more a$$ than a toilet seat.

You know what Dave Chappelle says about 'ain't no such thing as good 36 year old _________'

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

33 minutes ago, peenie said:

Lies! Women are selfless angels.

Yep. Just ask any of em.

So peenie... Last week you are asking for bj tips. Today this thread.

Something going on with the new man? I'm guessing either its getting serious, and you're getting scared, or you, not to appropriate culture or anything, caught his ass creepin? 

[RLLD 3,455]

52 minutes ago, peenie said:

Lies! Women are selfless angels.

I fear that this might only be true for you..... 

[peenie 1,690]

4 hours ago, titans&bucs&bearsohmy! said:

Yep. Just ask any of em.

So peenie... Last week you are asking for bj tips. Today this thread.

Something going on with the new man? I'm guessing either its getting serious, and you're getting scared, or you, not to appropriate culture or anything, caught his ass creepin? 

My questions stem truly from the article. 

I hope... 

[5-Points 2,729]

6 hours ago, peenie said:

I'm sure that guy was sick of his wife and no matter how skilled she was at giving BJs, a new younger woman is more appealing.

That guy was sick of his wife. If she's skilled in the art of beejays she'll land a new one. 

A new, younger woman is always appealing. Its ridiculous to ask men to pretend otherwise. However, real men don't bail on what they've built over the years for something that seems more appealing in the moment. 

[JustinCharge 2,397]

If you want to know someone's true nature, give them power.  How they use it will reveal their character.