Dilemma - with self-serving interests

[Strike 3,950]

5 minutes ago, Kanil said:

Really shitty situation but it's probably best for your son to form a relationship with the guy he's going to have to live with at least half the time.

 

Besides, you'll want him to associate this Chiefs loss with the dirtbag, not you!

I'll place a bet that his ex isn't with this guy in a few years.  The thing about cheaters, is they tend to do it again.  From what CMH says this guy was a bit of a tool even before he cheated with this wife.  So, until or unless they get married I wouldn't say the kid is going to be living with this guy half the time.  Heck, the cheaters aren't even living together yet.

[cmh6476 748]

1 minute ago, Bert said:

I agree but  the grandfather is also involved.  It's an f'd up situation.  

I offered to let the ex-FIL go with us.  The dude was my best friend for years as we were card playing buddies.  The ex moved on and so did he. 

[Bert 1,087]

1 minute ago, cmh6476 said:

I offered to let the ex-FIL go with us.  The dude was my best friend for years as we were card playing buddies.  The ex moved on and so did he. 

Damn.  Good luck brother.

[cmh6476 748]

1 minute ago, Strike said:

I'll place a bet that his ex isn't with this guy in a few years.  The thing about cheaters, is they tend to do it again.  From what CMH says this guy was a bit of a tool even before he cheated with this wife.  So, until or unless they get married I would say the kid is going to be living with this guy half the time.  Heck, the cheaters aren't even living together yet.

I'm subsidizing their living arrangements with my child support payments

 

dude was living with his mom following his divorce, but hey at least he now has a place to stay thanks in part to me.  I may or may not have mentioned that to both of them in the past

[RaiderHaters Revenge 3,566]

you should have set a ground rule like I did

all sporting events are mine. period. forever

you can have all the amusement parks, fairs, movies, etc

[TimmySmith 2,782]

8 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

The boyfriend should back off. Let the kid go with his father. If he can’t see why then he’s a huge POS 

  He is dating the kids mom who is standing her ground.  Why on earth would he take sides with her former husband? 

[Strike 3,950]

1 minute ago, TimmySmith said:

  He is dating the kids mom who is standing her ground.  Why on earth would he take sides with her former husband? 

For the best interests of the children, and to not be a doosh.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,592]

7 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

he has no kids.  It really explains a lot to me.

It does. Not your problem. And your FIL is a dik as well. I’d be giving him an earful if I were you. Who focked  who and all that other stuff isn’t the priority. The ex and the FIL should know this. 

[cmh6476 748]

My ex's go-to is that he should be able to make memories with grandpa as well.  I get that, but let it be a regular season game next year if they want to do it.  I actually texted grandpa yesterday too:

 

"Go with (d-bag - using actual name).  Let me enjoy my time with my son."

[Hardcore troubadour 12,592]

Just now, cmh6476 said:

My ex's go-to is that he should be able to make memories with grandpa as well.  I get that, but let it be a regular season game next year if they want to do it.  I actually texted grandpa yesterday too:

 

"Go with (d-bag - using actual name).  Let me enjoy my time with my son."

Exactly. 

[cyclone24 1,805]

34 minutes ago, fandandy said:

  Spill.  I thought you were married to a doctor.  What happened?

Oh no no...we're good. My oldest is with another woman. 

My ex and I have a great relationship. We switch days, daughter can call the other when it's the others weekend. Took alot of work but going at it just makes things impossible. 

[cmh6476 748]

I love this place more than I ever have in the past.  I mean you guys really came through when my brother passed 15 years ago.  But this has to be 2nd for me.

 

 

of course, what should I expect from a message bored which probably includes a bunch of other divorced men who also have been focked over

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

1 minute ago, cmh6476 said:

My ex's go-to is that he should be able to make memories with grandpa as well.  I get that, but let it be a regular season game next year if they want to do it.  I actually texted grandpa yesterday too:

 

"Go with (d-bag - using actual name).  Let me enjoy my time with my son."

While you feel that way, I don't think that you are doing yourself any favors by communicating with the ex-FIL or the d-bag.  

[fandandy 3,311]

Just now, cyclone24 said:

Oh no no...we're good. My oldest is with another woman. 

My ex and I have a great relationship. We switch days, daughter can call the other when it's the others weekend. Took alot of work but going at it just makes things impossible. 

Ah, ok.  Good.  

[cmh6476 748]

Just now, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

While you feel that way, I don't think that you are doing yourself any favors by communicating with the ex-FIL or the d-bag.  

I don't text or email the d-bag anymore.  And I really don't talk to gramps anymore either.  I think I drunk dialed him and left a VM when the Chiefs won and the Phins beat your Pats.  But if he wants to turn his back on me too, so be it.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,592]

Just now, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

While you feel that way, I don't think that you are doing yourself any favors by communicating with the ex-FIL or the d-bag.  

I think the FIL should catch some flak. 

[jerryskids 5,172]

2 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I love this place more than I ever have in the past.  I mean you guys really came through when my brother passed 15 years ago.  But this has to be 2nd for me.

 

 

 

of course, what should I expect from a message bored which probably includes a bunch of other divorced men who also have been focked over

I can play the Mephisto "tough love" role, let me know. 

[cmh6476 748]

Just now, jerryskids said:

I can play the Mephisto "tough love" role, let me know. 

yeah I think he probably said something to the effect of my brother probably deserved to die

[TimmySmith 2,782]

8 minutes ago, Strike said:

For the best interests of the children, and to not be a doosh.

And you know what their best interests are.  I think their best interests are parents who get along. 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

4 minutes ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

I think the FIL should catch some flak. 

He does, but it shouldn't come from CMH.  The ex-FIL is obviously taking his daughter's side and probably is getting fed only her side of the story.  It does no good trying to have those communications and it just gives the kunt more ammo.  

[DonS 3,063]

Sigh.... guess I'll be the one... 

Can size of ex?  How about dbag's ex?  Did you and dbag's ex ever bang it out in solidarity? 

[Strike 3,950]

1 minute ago, TimmySmith said:

And you know what their best interests are.  I think their best interests are parents who get along. 

That's absolutely one of them.  And the mother supporting the father in wanting to spend time with his son would go a long way towards that end.  But, she's shown herself to not be the most upstanding person so I guess this is understandable.

[cyclone24 1,805]

1 minute ago, cmh6476 said:

yeah I think he probably said something to the effect of my brother probably deserved to die

Oh yeah let that shiit go. I know it's hard because you want them to hurt like you are, and let them know you were wronged. They DGAF.

The guy...he could have been anyone. Leave him be. It's a waste of energy. SHE made the choice. Let her go...again...waste of time and energy. 

 I get it... you want to be with your kid for all the cool things you want to do....it just doesn't work that way now. Be nice, and convey to the ex that next time can we work together on really important things we'd like to do with kid that we can switch days or whatever as I'm sure theres special things she would like to do. That's a good starting point. 

[Bert 1,087]

Just now, DonS said:

 Did you and dbag's ex ever bang it out in solidarity? 

  Very nice.  

[jerryskids 5,172]

3 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

yeah I think he probably said something to the effect of my brother probably deserved to die

I don't recall the details as I believe it was early in my time at the GC, but I do recall him being extra... tough.

Anyway, I'll nominate your wife as the biggest doosh in all of this.  She knows you are a maniacal sports fan and so it seems she is doing this in no small part to fock with you.  Her guy is some combo of doosh and beta cuck.

You... in this thread you've mentioned drunk calling/texting, sucker punches, calling the guy a doosh in the hospital... I would say there is room for improvement in the way you are modeling behavior for your kids.  You control your behavior, not theirs. 

[cmh6476 748]

6 minutes ago, cyclone24 said:

Oh yeah let that shiit go. I know it's hard because you want them to hurt like you are, and let them know you were wronged. They DGAF.

The guy...he could have been anyone. Leave him be. It's a waste of energy. SHE made the choice. Let her go...again...waste of time and energy. 

 I get it... you want to be with your kid for all the cool things you want to do....it just doesn't work that way now. Be nice, and convey to the ex that next time can we work together on really important things we'd like to do with kid that we can switch days or whatever as I'm sure theres special things she would like to do. That's a good starting point. 

I meant mephisto from this bored when I posted that

[cmh6476 748]

On 1/13/2020 at 9:48 AM, DonS said:

Sigh.... guess I'll be the one... 

Can size of ex?  How about dbag's ex?  Did you and dbag's ex ever bang it out in solidarity? 

 Thanks for bringing up shitty memories

[cyclone24 1,805]

1 minute ago, cmh6476 said:

I meant mephisto from this bored when I posted that

Oh ha my bad...at the gym trying to reply. Shiit.

[cmh6476 748]

7 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

I don't recall the details as I believe it was early in my time at the GC, but I do recall him being extra... tough.

Anyway, I'll nominate your wife as the biggest doosh in all of this.  She knows you are a maniacal sports fan and so it seems she is doing this in no small part to fock with you.  Her guy is some combo of doosh and beta cuck.

You... in this thread you've mentioned drunk calling/texting, sucker punches, calling the guy a doosh in the hospital... I would say there is room for improvement in the way you are modeling behavior for your kids.  You control your behavior, not theirs. 

I went to lunch with a pastor last week.  It was good bouncing things I am working through off someone else.  And I feel like I can work through them, and then a focking curveball like dbag wants to take my son to the AFC championship comes into play.  I'm trying here man.

[nzoner 936]

I don't have kids so maybe I shouldn't give my .02 but FWIW is there any possibility of you taking son to Arrowhead and meeting for a tailgate with BF/FIL,then let son sit with them during game but meeting up again for you and son to ride home together?

I understand a lot of pride would have to be swallowed but for the good of the kid......

[cmh6476 748]

1 minute ago, nzoner said:

I don't have kids so maybe I shouldn't give my .02 but FWIW is there any possibility of you taking son to Arrowhead and meeting for a tailgate with BF/FIL,then let son sit with them during game but meeting up again for you and son to ride home together?

I understand a lot of pride would have to be swallowed but for the good of the kid......

I would prefer the opposite, he can ride down with them, I'm sure I can find someone to go with and then we sit together at the game.  But that's a good thought.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,592]

I’d call the BF scumbag to his face every time I see him when the kids are out of earshot. And he’d get a beating at some point. More because of getting in between a father and son and not because of the ex.  

[cyclone24 1,805]

You still probably have a window to kill her and go to the game before you're arrested?

[Hawkeye21 1,848]

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

[vuduchile 1,940]

Your son should definitely go to the game with you. Your ex-wife and her side piece should bow out.  She's not going to, so now what? 

Bring the courts into this and put a dark cloud over the the whole thing?  How is your son gonna actually enjoy the game at this point?  He still has to live with each of you half the time.  

I dunno.  Big games are fun, but maybe you're placing too much importance on this?  Maybe take a step back and look at the big picture?  

If the Chiefs lose, both you and your son will be sad anyway.  

If they win, you can take him to the Super Bowl if you feel like spending that kind of money.  Alternately, watch the the Super Bowl with him on TV.  

[nzoner 936]

5 minutes ago, cmh6476 said:

I would prefer the opposite, he can ride down with them, I'm sure I can find someone to go with and then we sit together at the game.  But that's a good thought.

I just happen to know someone who lives close by that'd be willing to go.

[cyclone24 1,805]

1 minute ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

Twice....one her fault,  one my fault. 

 

[cmh6476 748]

1 minute ago, vuduchile said:

Your son should definitely go to the game with you. Your ex-wife and her side piece should bow out.  She's not going to, so now what? 

Bring the courts into this and put a dark cloud over the the whole thing?  How is your son gonna actually enjoy the game at this point?  He still has to live with each of you half the time.  

I dunno.  Big games are fun, but maybe you're placing too much importance on this?  Maybe take a step back and look at the big picture?  

If the Chiefs lose, both you and your son will be sad anyway.  

If they win, you can take him to the Super Bowl if you feel like spending that kind of money.  Alternately, watch the the Super Bowl with him on TV.  

I'm thinking I can get a pair of these tickets for $500-600 if I play my cards right.  The superbowl would probably cost me like 10 times that.  I have cmh money, not nzoner money

[cmh6476 748]

2 minutes ago, nzoner said:

I just happen to know someone who lives close by that'd be willing to go.

I meant me and him sit together but I hear ya

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

3 minutes ago, Hawkeye21 said:

I'm curious, how many of you are divorced or going through divorce?

As far as I know, I am not going through a divorce.  Wife might say otherwise.

My parents were divorced and I have a ton of friends that have gone through this situation or are going through it now.  I have far too much second-hand experience here.